#reddit shitpost

[jefpoo421]

[roze-the-false-messiah]

A shitpost rant

When it comes to the gaming subs on Reddit it’s an eco-chamber that is susceptible to rot and insanity after a certain amount of time. A famous example is the Batman Arkham sub. But that is tame compared to what I saw.

So basically yesterday I heard about the Half-Life community wanting to have beef with the Megaman community after Dual Override was announced. So I took a peek into the subreddit.

It looks like some poor ignorant soul or just a plain idiot had somehow gotten their hands on the Necronomicon and released the damn Deadites onto the community. If I dare to try to read the Zalgo-infused hieroglyphic gibberish titles, I might as well summon the old ones.

Now they are just back to injecting hopium like nothing happened. I won't be surprised if they try to use Megaman as a sacrifice.

I'm going back to stasis.

[iamafanofcartoons]

RWBY Character Analysis: Ozma aka Ozpin-- A Humorous Explanation by Lurker-Archon

Found this fantastic R/RWBY comment and had to share it here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/fnki/comments/wikl33/comment/il2tvpv/?context=3

Are you a masochist that will take an impossible task by gods who will kill you all if you ever call them back before you finish?

Do you have an interest in reincarnating into a boy and take over his life, and eventually, his very mind?

With or without consent, let us hop right into RWBY.

RWBY, an obscure spin off of the Valthirian Arc flash game series, is set in the world of Remnant, occupied by the 4 corners the political compass: Authoritarian Right, Authoritarian Left, Libertarian Left, and Libertarian Right, which are Atlas, Mistral, Vacuo, and Vale respectively. As you can guess, this can lead to disagreements and conflict. However, all four nations have come to mutual understanding of who the real enemies are: the Grimm. Mindless monsters that are indiscriminate on who they attack and bear no allegiance to any political ideology: the Centrists. And as we all know, all centrists must die.

Now, before we get into the excruciating, torturous gameplay, we must first get into the excruciating, torturous lore.

There once were two gods, God of Light and God of Darkness. Don't let the names fool you into thinking this is some gay New Testament Jesus and Satan bullshit. This is Greek mythology bs where the gods' personal drama personally fucks up the life of some random mortal, whom in this case was your wife Salem. After you died of ligma, Salem asked the gods to revive you. GoL refused because death is sacred part of life she must accept, while GoD refused because he's offended she asked GoL first.

As punishment for her arrogance, GoL gives Salem immortality. Is it the messed up kind where she gets older indefinitely? No, she stays young forever and is invulnerable to any damage. You might say, "I don't get it, that sounds exclusively beneficial", I would say, um, well, it's supposed to teach her the value of life and death or something.

Anyways, GoL's "punishment" resulted in Salem desiring death very much. So in a way, it worked really well on one half. However, unable to learn the other half, Salem instead gathers every army in the world by promising them immortality and YOLO-ing them against the Gods. This just ticked off GoD, who then proceeded to blow on the moon and bring armageddon, leaving her all on alone on a burning surface of the planet, a Remnant of the previous world.

Left utterly alone, Salem does the unthinkable. She takes the Centrist pool and becomes the queen over the creations of GoD also known as Grimm. Before, these centrist creatures were mostly harmless due to being disorganized, united by no cause. Now ever since Salem took control, they are an international threat to all political orientations, one of them even specifically designed to make our young generation apathetic to current politics..

Where do you fit into all this? After the planet was glassed medium-rare, GoL brought you back to life to give you the ultimate mission: unite humanity. He then gives you four exclusive premium MMO items called the Relics that will summon him and GoD back. But if he comes back and he still sees the players unable to decide how to split raid loot, he will finish what GoD started.

What a nice guy. He just wants to help a brother out.

Armed with your objective, the first thing you did was actually team up with Salem, not knowing her betrayal to everything good. To be honest, I don't blame you. You both ruled over the new world as gods, and even had 4 beautiful children. But soon it became apparent she had no governing philosophy, establishing no tax policy. I must clarify. I don't mean there were no taxes. There just wasn't any "policy". She "taxed" by taking anything she wanted, at any time, which could mean taking the very rockbed below your house to build her castle, eating the very last peach you were saving for your children, and, gods forbid, sitting next to you in the movie theater and taking your buttered popcorn bucket.

Disgusted by this barbarism, you decided to sneak out with the children, only to be caught and fight magic duels until the castle collapses on your children and you die. Salem is neither pro-life nor pro-choice. She is anti-life and anti-choice. Truly, no greater evil can be conceived by any other than the diabolical centrists.

Oh, and when you die, you reincarnate in the mind of another person, whose name must start with O. And after some time, both of your minds will eventually meld, into one. Now, where does individuality begin and end? Did the host disappear, or was it slowly eroded? Did Ozma die long ago, or is he a conjoined twin of your evergrowing minds?

There's only one thing to be certain, and that is to stop asking those questions, and focus on your goal. Stop Salem from destroying humanity by spreading her non-ideology throughout this world, and hopefully, eventually, maybe, unite humanity divided by opposing ideologies.

Good luck~

What is at your disposal? Who are you in this world? You are Ozpin, Headmaster of a Huntsmen school where all the students and teachers have guns. "School shootings" isn't something to prevent; it's something to encourage and integral to your school's security. It's also your deterrent to anyone trying to get into your office.

As the person in charge of these promising youths, your job is to prepare them for the harsh and cruel world. Therefore it is imperative that you make sure to cut out the chaff from the wheat by whatever means necessary. That includes throwing them with a catapult and see if they land without becoming red mist, putting them on opposite ends of a shooting range to teach them how to dodge, and prepare them for the international political debate where they persuade the masses that you are right by using your opponent's face to plug hot geysers.

Now you might ask yourself, what would happen if, say, some stupid noodle blonde that doesn't even know how to survive getting shot, applies to your school? Answer: let him in. See if he survives. Worst case, what happened was natural selection, and the gene pool is now less polluted. If his parents get angry and sue you, pay a visit to the judge. If he or she is a true Valean, the problem won't even come up in the newspaper.

Put your students in co-ed dorms. Because as a wise man once said, "There are no mistakes. Only happy accidents, that will fight and kill for your cause". And as your pool of students grows, so does potential recruits as agents in your shadow council.

What do you do with agents? Among just making sure Salem's agents aren't pulling their social experiment prank of the century, they can make sure to make sure 4 certain women in the world isn't going crazy or kidnapped. What's special about these women you ask? Remember the 4 reality-breaking divine items you were given? Well you locked them away in the 4 different countries in their respective schools, and turned some girls into their keys and gave them superpowers. Why did you do all that? Because you are a wizard, and you are just following the examples of your god to make things needlessly complicated, probably for some tangentially related moral lesson.

Just remember, you are not the protagonist. You are nurturing the protagonists who will save this world, so guide them through the difficult moral questions. Are the White Fang misunderstood, or are they Centrists? Is it unethical to dab over the enemy over winning the fight? Is there ever point where a weapon is nothing more than a convoluted impractical monstrosity?

Answer however you like, because all your attempts to try to nudge them in your directions will fail. So join in for the ride. When Salem plays her cards and apocalypse start, select your heroes and go on the world tour to gather the Relics.

How will they unite the world and fulfill the Gods' request to "unite humanity"? Will they tell the truth and suggest annihilation is the only alternative? Will they take the utilitarian approach and kill everyone who disagrees until all that are left, are the united?

Perhaps it's none of these things. Perhaps, ideologies are not important. Perhaps the answer to all of this, to all the answer to life and all its conflict, was smug anime faces.

Gods help us all

As always, more contents to come, so stay tuned. A warm thanks to the many members of the merchants guild. Generously funding, and bankrolling these videos.

You're all truly wonderful. Have a good one.

___________________________________________

Lurker-Archon’s comment was a delicious treat from start to finish.

If you have a reddit account, please drop some awards their way, they deserve it.

[roze-the-false-messiah]

[roze-the-false-messiah]