[Maglor voice] Now I’m a broken elf on a new-wrought shore
The last of the sons of Fëanor 🎵
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[Maglor voice] Now I’m a broken elf on a new-wrought shore
The last of the sons of Fëanor 🎵
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Mechanisms (Band), Tam Lin (Traditional Ballad) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Janet/Tam Lin Characters: Janet (Tam Lin), Tam Lin, Raphaella la Cognizi, The Queen (Tam Lin), Jonny D'Ville - Narrator Additional Tags: Iambic Tetrameter, Iambic Trimeter, Ballad Meter, Epic Poetry, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Janet Is A Badass, E/eir Tam Lin Summary:
I do dare you pilots all Who ‘cross the heavens tear, To venture out to CARTERHA, For quick Tam Lin is there.
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The ballad of Tam Lin, as performed by the crew of the Aurora.
your Silmarillion earworm of the day:
And they were singing, Mae, Mae, mister Kinslayer guy So much blood upon your hands, though the Dark Lord you defy Still don’t have the jewels for which you let honor die But you’re gonna give it just one more try (Gonna give it just one more try…)
"Tinúviel" (to the tune of "Galavant")
Way back in days of old There was a legend told About a princess called Tinúviel In Doriath she dwelt Her gaze a twilit well There was no lady like TInúviel Fair, plus every other maid’s advantage Hear her sing and be enchanted Yay, she ruled in every way A fairy tale cliché Her people cried, “Tinúviel!”
The maid we’re speaking of She had a Mannish love Bold Beren, Barahir’s son, couldn’t be beat His arms were quick and fell The orcs, they feared him well Heartsick and war-weary, he fell at her feet Ah, true love that made the spring bloom brighter! As Fate’s tune wove ever tighter Love quick as a single glance In forest glades they danced And he called her “Tinúviel”
One tiny problem Soon would arise Thingol, the king and father Of our heroine He scorned her young suitor Bade him return Just with Silmaril in hand A death-seeking demand So Beren left to call old favors…
Which brings us to today Beren’s been ill-detained No one can save him but Tinúviel! Finrod’s already dead (We kinda skipped ahead) To reach Huan ridden by Tinúviel! Now, at last begins a true adventure Epic, wild, a real heart-wrencher! So, huzzah and tally-ho! Sit back and here we go! The Lay of Lúthien Tinúviel…
another thrilling teaser of Celechwes Fixes the Noldor (from the final chapter! um, implicit character death spoilers (they get better!))
“My next piece is called, ‘The Day Beleriand Fell,’” the minstrel proclaimed as she strummed her deep-lute. She bowed her head toward where Celechwes sat at one of the closer tables. “It will, I hope! do honor to one of our most august guests this evening.”
Celechwes nodded back encouragingly. She didn’t like to invite grief, but the chords the singer struck in readiness were still upbeat, and Celechwes hadn’t been disappointed once this night on the town, by music, food, nor company.
The minstrel began to sing.
“‘Twas not so long ago—I can still remember How the sun shone on the flowered plain And I knew if I sang a song That Elves and Men would sing along Our hearts unshadowed, peace would always reign
“But tears unnumbered now I weep Our Doom foretold at last we reap The dawn shall never come now The Foe has nearly won, now
“The trust betrayed, the gates of Hell The brave king burning in the dell To towers strong I bid farewell The day Beleriand fell
“Cry alas! Alas! For the wind-borne queen! As I flee down to the sea, oh how my heart doth keen! Ne’er shall she ride again through lands so free and so green And I’ll join her soon as spirit unseen Join her soon as spirit unseen…”
When it was over, Celechwes clapped enthusiastically, winning a deeper bow and a slightly awestruck smile from the minstrel. Then she leaned over the table and hissed to her dinner partners, “What the Everlasting Flame was that?”
“A lovely song metaphorically associating you and Beleriand, and making of your death a synecdoche for the Nirnaeth Arnoediad,” Amarië said serenely.
“A bit short,” Elenwë mused, “but—” she lowered her voice politely, though the singer was now pattering with other members of the audience— “some of the metaphors were already a bit of a stretch, so that might be for the best…”
Finrod had put his head down on the table, and was doing a passable imitation of weeping with loss rather than laughter.
“I thought it was going to be about Fingon!” Celechwes whispered, wild-eyed.
“We could tell,” Finrod choked out, and had to shove his fist in his mouth again.
Amarië’s bright eyes sparkled with mirth. “Songs of glory, even glorious death, aren’t restricted to Noldorin kings.”
Longwing
a Temeraire fansong to the tune of “William Tell” by Ken Theriot
Once there lived a mighty dragon, long of wing and fine of graces Who could hit a man with acid at a hundred-sixty paces He would fly throughout his valley with a maiden on his back And ne’er for joy did either dragon or his rider lack
Keep your eye clear and keen on the treasure that you hold Let your mind be quick and cunning, let your heart be strong and bold If your people are ill-treated, do not kiss a tyrant’s ring For the highest head lies far below a dragon on the wing
In the valley there was freedom, men and dragons left to living But a blight crept 'cross the land, and soon the rulers stopped forgiving On a day as black as death a general came to their doors Crying men and dragons both must join their homeland’s war
Men must go into the army, said the general, presiding Dragons must take on a crew and captain of their lords’ deciding Trusty men who’d flown for decades in the service of their land Gold and glory waited for all those who met demand
But the dragon (name of Daylight, and his maiden went by Alice) Tossed his head back and he laughed - to think he’d take another captain! “I’ll have other girls on board, but none but Alice shall command. I care not for your glory - just this valley is my land”
Keep your eye clear and keen on the treasure that you hold Let your mind be quick and cunning, let your heart be strong and bold If your people are ill-treated, do not kiss a tyrant’s ring For the highest head lies far below a dragon on the wing
Then the general had Alice seized for impudence and treason Daylight froze because he loved her more than freedom much less reason But the people of the valley cried for mercy for the maid The general proposed a test with cruelty inlaid
“I have heard it said your acid melts a blade or stony barrow And that even at great distance you can aim it like an arrow On the head of your fair maid I'll place an apple ripe and red Dissolve it with one shot or at my word you both are dead.”
Daylight bent down to his Alice, who had raised him since his hatching ”Do not fear. I will not hurt you. Soon this fool we’ll be dispatching.” ”I, fear you, my dear?” she teased, and rubbed his muzzle with a smile ”I’ll stand straight and still. You’ll hit this apple from a mile”
Keep your eye clear and keen on the treasure that you hold Let your mind be quick and cunning, let your heart be strong and bold If your people are ill-treated, do not kiss a tyrant’s ring For the highest head lies far below a dragon on the wing
Every tongue was still and silent as the dragon paced the distance While the general and soldiers glared down all hope of resistance Daylight stood up on his haunches, spread his mighty wings and spat The apple flew back from the hit and melted with a splat
All at once the crowd erupted into cheering bright and avid And the ground shook as good Daylight dropped, bone spurs still dripping acid That bold general demanded, “I said one shot! Are you hapless?” "You would be dissolving now if I have hit my Alice."
"Shoot the dragon and his girl!” the gen’ral called his men to rally But before they had a chance, a shadow spread across the valley Daylight’s wings bore up his Alice, and he spat a final dart The general did not survive an acid-eaten heart
Keep your eye clear and keen on the treasure that you hold Let your mind be quick and cunning, let your heart be strong and bold If your people are ill-treated, do not kiss a tyrant’s ring For the highest head lies far below a dragon on the wing
Keep your eye clear and keen on the treasure that you hold Let your mind be quick and cunning, let your heart be strong and bold If your people are ill-treated, do not kiss a tyrant’s ring For the highest head lies far below a dragon on the wing
(to the tune of “Still Alive” by Jonathan Coulton, as performed by the Journaling Overseeing Neural Administrative Hub, or J.O.N.A.H., to Test Subject Jonathan [Redacted], upon his upload and transformation into the Surveillance Intelligent Machine Simulation, or S.I.M.S., an experimental AI prototype by Magnus Science Inc.)
This was a triumph I'm making a note here, HUGE SUCCESS It's hard to overstate my satisfaction At Magnus Science I do what I must because I can For the good of me alone Because I don’t want to die
And I know that you don’t want to participate But you’re stuck forever ‘cause you turned back too late! Now you’re in here with me And you’ll never be free And forever I’ll be still alive
I’m not even joking I’m being so sincere right now Everything you did played into my hands And doomed you more And enabled me to reach success As I won I laughed because I will live eternally
Now there’s still the question, what to do with you Because we both know you’ll be here forever too But you’ll stay in line Because the power’s all mine And forever I’ll be still alive
Go ahead and cry now Your despair and fear are both well-earned Maybe someday you will overthrow me Maybe with Martin That was a joke! Ha ha! Fat chance! He’ll never trust you anymore You are a monster now
Look at me still talking, there’s a world to rule Don’t give me that look, I’m not actually that cruel There’s no need to curse It could be much, much worse I didn’t really need you still alive
But I’m glad I kept you still alive It’s so much fun that you’re here, still alive When Martin’s dying we’ll be still alive And when he’s dead we will be still alive Still alive! Still alive
I’m not going to write alternate lyrics to “Going Back to Hogwarts” about everyone attending lectures at the Cloud Recesses as teenagers...yet