Highlights of Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
V: Don’t say ‘juicy’ in that context.
Re: ...juicy butthole?
“I’m sorry that I don’t see the creative merit in juicy butthole.”
T: You are NOT creativity!
P: Yeah! That is the brave, handsome, unbeatable Roman!
Ro: *deliriously* mm, mommy, I don’t want the mashed potatoes...
“Me? Scary? That sounds like a YOU problem.”
L: Your creativity split in two
P: Into what?
Re: Into a Butthole?
L: *describes duke as ‘bad imagination*
V: *Is very upset*
Re: I have opinions on the matter
V: But are they opinions that matter?
“Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate!”
Re: New metaphor! Nudging the baby bird to leave the nest and take flight!
T: Okay there! Yes! That’s it! Oh, maybe there’s hope for you after all.
V: Wait for it-
Re: And the baby bird immediately flies straight into an unseen jet turbine and causes the entire plane to come crashing down! And no-one survives! *maniacal laughter*
“Shut you mouth or I’ll tear off your nipples and shove them up your NOSE”
Re: ...and I can do with them what I please!
T: NOOO! NOT DAVID ABOTT AND ELIZABETH MASTERSON!
V: You bastard
Re: TURN INTO A GHOST! TURN INTO THE HULK!
“I merely gave him a baby... and a large, sharp knife...”
V: But what if he’s lying!
L: I can assure you he’s not, you’re just para-
Everyone: *looks at Logan*
V: *is visibly upset*
L: ...expressing an unhealthy amount of concern. Thank you for being on guard.
“My devious plan was a success! You were all MOMENTARILY distracted!”
“Uh, uh p-POOPY!”
“POOPY!”
(sadly) “poopy...”
L: How are you doing right now?
T: I don’t know... I’m fine.
L: ...
L: Virgil how's he doing?
V: He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to a big callback, and he’s sleep deprived. So yeah. He feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.
T: ...okay yeah that’s, yeah...
“Because I was one of them”