Chapter Two No matter how happy he seemed when he saw me, on the car ride home, he was a completely different person. He looked so dead and lifeless, like he'd seen a ghost. I looked over at him, taking a hand off the wheel to hold his. His grip tightened onto my hands, almost like if he let go, he'd shatter. We arrived at the house, and he grabbed the keys, jumped straight out of the car, grabbing his things to go. "Jer!" I yelled as I followed his lead. As soon as I was right behind him in the house, he collapsed to follow, breathing heavy. I knelt down next to him, stroking his back and taking his face in my hand to see him. "Baby, what is it?" "I'm sorry, I just.." he choked out, but his eyes began to water, and he buried his face into my chest, the tears running. I cradled him in my arms, stroking his head and pressing my lips to his forehead. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around me, uttering, "..I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Shh, shh, Jer, what is it?" I said, leaning back against the wall to let him lay against me, as I kept hold of him. "I saw things..things I can't fucking forget. They're just hitting me now, seeing you." "What happened?" "We were in the field, and there was kids and a bomb, and I," he choked on his own words, unable to hold back the tears, "I didn't get there in time, so I had to take cover. The next thing I saw was blood and their bodies. Some, some were missing limbs, and I.." "Jer, baby, stop, it's upsetting you too much, stop. It wasn't your fault. You can't save everyone, baby. You do the best you can and save as many people as you can, but you're not going to be able to do it all. You're not superman." I said sweetly. "I should've been able to. All I could think is what if we had a kid and that kid was ours caught in that explosion. I would never be able to forgive myself for that." "But it wasn't, Jer. It doesn't make you a bad person. You have a good hear-" "I should not have let them die!" he screamed at me, beginning to shake, and I held him tighter, cradling the back of his head as he convulsed in my arms. "Stop, stop, Jer.." I felt the tears streaming down my face, whispering to relax him, but it was no use. "I don't deserve you!" he muffled into my shirt, gripping onto me tighter. "It's not you, babe. It's not you." I barely managed to choke out, relaxing against him, stroking his back. I felt my eyes begin to slip. I couldn't see him like this. It hurt so damn much.