For all the sex positivity and bosy positivity and disability positivity I generally see in fandom (not that it’s all unproblematic, of course), the treatment of anorgasmia is... well, basically non-existent with a hint of erasure. It seems as if most people either don’t know of it or don’t talk about it (even though statistically and anecdotally, there is probably a lot of people in fandom who have it). At the same time, fic is full of orgasms. Even women and female-bodied people are orgasming during their first time, or generally fast and easy. Fic where female characters at least experience some problems with orgasms in the beginning is few and far between.
I wouldn’t be bothering to complain if I didn’t see a variety of other conditions addressed and explored in fanfic; in fact, I have learned a lot about personal experiences of such things as physical and mental disabilities, trans* body issues, and asexuality from fanfiction and fandom. Many works addressing such issues show the “unsexy” side of them, or demonstrate the ways life (including sexual life) with them deviates from the normative script. Some of them - asexuality fics in particular - show that you don’t have to have sex or orgasms to have fulfilling relationships.
I really wish I could see the same treatment of anorgasmia. I wish there was fic where characters have fulfilling relationships and even fulfilling sexual life without both of them experiencing mind-blowing orgasms every time. I wish there was fic showing the same negotiation of the specifics of relationship with an anorgasmic partner as I have seen for negotiation of asexuality, disability or trans* specifics. Unfortunately, in my search I discovered that Ao3 has only 9 works tagged ‘anorgasmia’, and while I haven’t read through all of them (because most are from very unfamiliar fandoms), even from tags it’s clear that at least most of them are about overcoming of anorgasmia, and at least in one case, the word is used as a title for a fic where all characters are having tons of orgasms. This is... discouraging, to say the least.
I also couldn’t find any discussions of the issue in fandom, and it also makes me sad. I turn to the fandom for discussions of certain issues because it offers, in my experience, the most diverse and non-heteronormative opinions and experiences. (Discussion of anorgasmia elsewhere tends to be terribly heterocentric, as if women in relationship with women never experience it, and also focused on Overcoming By Any Means.) Plus some representation in fic which I often find easier to relate to than personal stories or generalised descriptions. But in this case, fandom gives me nothing.
