‘ i did my best to bring you up. ’ ( for NHS :^) )
In the setting sun , with orange splashed across the skies , Nie Huaisang could not help but to wonder how his father would react as he further diverged from their sect values. Those thoughts would undoubtedly lead to would mother would be more kind ? Would she pat his head with gentle fingers , and paint along side him , or would she too be utterly disappointed ?
In the end it didn’t matter , because he would never find out.
He had his brother , and even among their squabbles and his own cowering , he had never regretted this family bond.
The truth was , no one would blame the sect leader if one day he grabbed Nie Huaisang and tossed him out into the world to fend for himself. It would be one less burden , and to many , one less shame. — but he was allowed to stay , raised by someone who had no obligation to , even with disappointment after disappointment.
Nie Huaisang always thought if he was more like his brother , life would be far more simpler. — but in his heart he knew he was not made for leading . Such things would weigh him down , turn him bitter , robbing him of the little happiness he’d secure for himself. After all , he only wished for the freedom of the winds , and worlds held in ink and brush.
( It was selfish , he knew , and Nie Mingjue deserved a better brother. )
“ I .. I ” he stutters out ,“ I know , ” his voice apologetic at the only family he’s ever known. The way he’s turn out has nothing to do with his brother’s actions , and everything with himself. “ I’m trying , dage , I really am ,” he whispers , head hanging low . “ I’ll try harder. ”