#restless yaps

[restlessartisttt]

One of my siblings said you’ll know if Lj is peeking behind a door if his long ass nose is the first thing you see on the other side. Was imaging it and couldn’t stop laughing 😭💀

[restlessartisttt]

I don’t know why I can’t separate tadc from the voice actors like I’m trying to separate the art from the artist kind of thing but for some reason I can’t. It’s a shame because I really enjoyed watching the series, it was funny a bit cringe at times but silly and I even enjoyed some of the characters, even saw Kinger as a father figure but now all the controversies just ruined it for me. I still see people reblogging or posting tadc content and I’m over here like how are you able to look past all of the stuff going on?? Either they just don’t know yet or I don’t know. Ugh like sometimes I’m like aw this tadc art is cute and then I’m like oh.. like I just can’t look at it even looking at Jax pisses me off plus Zooble. Looking at Kinger grosses me out because of the voice actor having been a pedo for so long?? and I didn’t know, seeing that character as a father figure just..yikes. I don’t know maybe as the controversies slowly become less new I could maybe go back into tadc but I don’t think that would be now. I’m still really pissed off that Caine’s va defended Jax and Zooble’s va for having said the n word like come on I get those people are your friends but defending that is just so immature smh. Even the creator of the whole show I don’t even want to support. I miss drawing Caine and his silly eyeballs ugh..

[restlessartisttt]

Sometimes I would stumble upon fanarts of Caine or just any character I like, like laughing jack, Ticci Toby, or Mychael being sexual and it made me realize how overwhelmingly uncomfortable I get seeing stuff like that. My mind would instantly say things like “get this away from me” or “why would you make him act like that?”. Didn’t realize that me being sexually harassed in seventh grade still affected me as I got older maybe that or it being mixed with me being sex negative as an asexual. I hate how lonely it feels not being comfortable with the idea of sex like everyone else, no matter how hard I try to understand it deeply feels wrong to me, it feels wrong for me to like things like that even when I do feel sexual feelings (I’m more graysexual but prefer saying I’m asexual), it feels not pure to me, it feels gross, and unclean ugh why does the world have to make sex sooo common and widely liked? I hate it so much as an asexual with trauma, even if I wasn’t assaulted I know I’d still be asexual and repulsed.

Come to think of it I think that’s also probably why I headcanon characters I like as asexual

[restlessartisttt]

Sometimes I look at the fictional men I like and wonder if I’ll ever feel that sort of safety in real life. With fictional men you know their stories and get to control them in some way on how they interact with your self insert, how you want them to behave but in real life there will always be uncertainty regarding a man. Can you even trust they won’t do something behind your back, can you trust that they have only the purest of intentions? No I really can’t and I don’t think I’ll ever will. If I was never abused by a man growing up perhaps I would be able to trust myself that I can trust a man but no I’m still blinded by toxicity because to me it’s normal, I’m so used to being treated horribly that when I do have a gut feeling or feel off about someone I ignore it and let myself go through the stress instead of simply ending the cycle of going back to them. I’m glad I had enough and finally blocked his ass. Maybe with enough therapy I’ll be able to allow myself to trust a guy and be able to spot wether that guy genuinely wants to get to know me or is toxic but for now I’ll just stick with the fictional men, they are safe and can’t hurt me.

Anyway..here’s some late night expression doodles of Lj

[restlessartisttt]

Sometimes I like to imagine myself doing homework or whatever and there’s that tall skrunkly clown right behind me bothering me as usual pfff would I be able to concentrate? Probably not I mean who would when there’s a creepy cute weirdo right behind you just peeking over your shoulder like some second head?? Sighhh only one can dream, I love my imagination sometimes when my ocd isn’t in the way to give me intrusive thoughts lol

hehehehehe

[restlessartisttt]

Yapping + doodles 🥀🕸️

I still wonder how people can draw their self insert/ocs with their fav character like those ships. Like HOW?? I turn into a blushing mess at even drawing both my self insert/oc with laughing jack or like Mychael, the struggle is real 😔💥

Should I show these? Yeah I’ll just post these and hide like the embarrassed scaredy cat I am lol 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

Her name’s Natt Valerie, kinda a selfinsert (similar first name) for a little au where she finds his old ahh box in an antique store (the owner of it wanted to get rid of him sooo bad cuz he kept tormenting the poor old owner with just the sound of his music box at night, terrifying)

So what did she do? Since she likes things that some may find creepy like porcelain dolls or music boxes she was like okay why not?

A monochrome clown and a melancholic woman

(Used a pose reference from Pinterest but switched some of the poses a bit by mistake 😅)

[restlessartisttt]

Seeing people say to bring back monster smutt/clown smutt specifically Lj while my asexual ass just wants more fluff and angst like no thank you in that give me the fluff, tooth rotting fluffff those are always so heavenly 😤💥✨

Is it just me or when you love a character you’re like okay you’re gonna be asexual now cuz I’m asexual, makes it a bit less lonely lol

Instantly headcanons Lj as a panromantic asexual 🪄💥✨

[restlessartisttt]

You know if I really like a character if I draw them over and over again lol. Quick question you guys aren’t getting sick of me drawing Lj again and again are you? Like ugh yet another post from that one weird girl of that depressed ass clown again type of annoyed? Pfff I hope not 😅🙏

maybe I also secretly want to know what you guys think of my doodles of him 🫣