#reverse demisexual

[demigray]

Okay Im like the opposite of demi. I feel sexual attraction UNTIL I form an emotional bond with someone. Is there a name for this?

Some people call this fraysexual, actually.

[asexual-anon-advice]

Hi, I'm kind of confused about whether I'm a demisexual or not. I'm not easily sexually attracted to people unless they are just someone I am crushing on that I don't know very well. The more I get to know them the less attracted to them I am.

A demisexual is a person who only develops sexual attraction after they’ve formed a strong emotional bond with someone. From what you’re saying, you don’t really sound demisexual but I do believe you fall somewhere on the Gray Asexual spectrum.

I looked over on @demigray‘s blog and I found many of her discussions about what people describe as “reverse demisexual.” That sounds very similar to what you’re experiencing so I would check it out using this link.

~Niney

[asexualsanonymous]

I know that Demisexuality is not being sexually attracted until you have a romantic or emotional attraction or bond with someone, is there a term for the opposite? Example. I can be sexually attracted to somebody, until I get to know them, then I am not sexually attracted at all. Or I can look at adult fanart of a character from a show, until I become emotionally attached to them, and then it all seems weird.

Yes there is! The term is reverse demisexual or fraysexual, and it means that you experience sexual attraction to someone only in the absence of an emotional bond, which fades when that bond is formed.

-Natalie

[demigray]

So I've been confused about my sexuality for a while and the other day I saw that ask about reverse demisexual, and it kinda rang a bell, but I'm not sure that actually fits. I'm sexually attracted to people I don't know, but when I start to romantically like them the sexual attraction goes away. I've only felt sexually attraction to two of my crushes but I knew them well. Have you heard of that?

If your experiences don’t fit neatly into a pattern of demisexual or reverse demisexual, you could consider gray asexual, as it’s meant to cover people with diverse experiences on the ace spectrum. I have heard of people who lose sexual attraction when romantic attraction develops, though I don’t know of a term for that. Use whatever label feels right, or go without a label if it’s too stressful.

[demigray]

I'm questioning like crazy and super confused cuz I seem to be the opposite of demi? Like I feel sexual attraction toward people I dont know, but not once I get to know someone. My last relationship was over a year and even sex with them made me uncomfortable (on a good day. In tears on a bad day). I get "you haven't found the right person yet" a lot. Is that what this is? Or do I fit under some other umbrella I'm not aware of?

Well, there are people who are “reverse demisexual,” or “fraysexual” as some call it, but you could definitely fit under the asexual umbrella if you feel like you identify with the experiences of others aces!

[demigray]

Hey so I've always just identified as being a straight female and nothing else, as I didn't really think anything else applied to me, but I really do think I am reverse demisexual. I've done some research and it has recently been called fraysexual/romantic. I don't know if that's an official name but whatever. I'm just wondering, is this something that you have to "come out as" and tell people?? I don't think my parents would really understand it if it told them

You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You’re never obligated to come out. 

[demigray]

Where would. Fraysexual/romantic(reverse demisexual) fall on the spectrum??

All identifies are in the middle of the spectrum; it’s not like there’s a specific place for each of them.

[demigray]

I'm just a bit confused. I have sexual attraction to people, but when I form relationships with people, and the more I get to know them and feel bonded to them, it goes away. It feels almost like the opposite of being demisexual, is this a thing?? Sorry I just don't know where else to ask.

Yes, being “reverse demisexual” is a thing I’ve heard of from other people. I have a whole tag for it if you want to read about other peoples’ experiences.