This is going to pick at you for a long time. It won't be (or hasn't been) sudden, but rather one brick at a time, one little crack here and there that grows, and as you're trying to fix everything, you find yourself with a fistful of dust, the foundation crumbled and gone. What's left? You. You're left and still standing. The good news is that you can spot the pattern and plan ahead. Somewhere in the muck and mire, you will find an anchor point to balance, catch your breath, and rebuild. Don't give up, but don't ignore it either. Ignorance is not bliss.