#review rules

[fantasypackerreviews]

FPR: Review Rules

These are the rules I use to gauge how I choose packers to buy, and they’re worth being open about.

1. The packer cannot just be a softer version of an extant dildo.

If a shop has an erect toy that they make a super/extra soft version and claim it as a packer, it will no longer be considered for review. Packers are not supposed to stand erect in the same shape/curvature as a dildo, and having to bend a dildo that extremely and that often will begin to damage them significantly. Not only that, but it is a very poor and lazy attempt at inclusivity.

Note: While there are some human shaped packers that stand somewhat erect, they are designed from the ground up to do so, minimizing risk of damage and also still being a full effort at inclusivity.

2. The packer cannot stand fully erect, even if there is no other version of the model.

An erect-standing toy is not only difficult to pack with, but the risk is high that bending it will result in significant damage over time, as dildos are not intended to be bent in such harsh ways for extended periods of time. While I’m not the cock police and can’t tell you what to do with your property, I personally don’t feel right reviewing something as a packer that I know will become damaged by use as a packer. Same note as above.

3. It must be primarily advertised as a packer, not as a ditch inclusion.

While it’s totally fine for a packer listing to mention it can be used as an oral toy (which is great for the gender euphoria, so yknow-) etc, if a toy is primarily intended for other purposes but “could maybe be used as a packer” then it wont be considered. This is to avoid buying docking toys just because they’re sorta the right shape, and again because I don’t want to encourage false inclusivity.

NEW: Decidedly, this now excludes Weredog's sheath. It was previously included, but after extensive in-home testing, it is absolutely not a packer, and I don't fancy looking like I have an obvious hard-on in public for a review.

This last one isn’t really a rule, but somewhat of a disclaimer:

I likely wont be able to purchase every single packer since I can’t guarantee I will be doing this forever, however there are some that will be similar enough in all-around shape to one another, comparisons can be drawn between a reviewed packer and one that hasn’t been! Check out the Packer List(new link pending) for a nice range of packers available, including those I don’t own yet!

[golden-lionsnake]

HYPE POST

Hey friends! After further consideration I’ve decided that, unless otherwise specified in my description (both tumblr and FR), I’ll be open at all times for PWYW lair reviews/roast reviews.

If you’re interested in one, please check out #review rules (aka This Post or This Dragon) for what you have to do in order to get a review/roast from me. (It’s pretty simple!)

and check out #lair review (desktop link) and #roast review (desktop link) to see what you can expect! I accept payment in T, G, apparel, and baldwin items! I’ll only accept a CR or take the items from a PM when I’m actively reviewing or done with your lair! I do work a very strange schedule, however, so if you don’t want to wait, please send a CR and cancel if I take too long to get to you- no hard feelings, I promise!

If you see this post, I super duper appreciate a reblog/boost, but you’re by no means obligated (and especially if you’re RB’d before and don’t want to clog your dash/queue)

Thanks so much!!

[golden-lionsnake]

Review Rules!

We can all agree that reviews rule! I find them very fun to do because I get to go through a lot of people’s wonderful dragons and talk about them to my heart’s content. You find them very fun because you love your hard work and appreciate people validating your fashion/gene sense and your attention to detail or you like to bully your own creations you monsters! But at the end of the day, if I’m not leveling fodder, I need to be doing SOMETHING to earn that sweet, sweet, dragon cash. So! if this just isn’t your gig, block the tags #lair review and #roast review, or unfollow, because your enjoyment of your dash absolutely comes first!

From now on, unless otherwise specified in my description, I’ll be open for PWYW reviews. So here’s what you need to do!

1-PM me or send a one-way CR I accept Treasure, Gems, Apparel, and Baldwin mats! I won’t accept your CR or retrieve items from the PM until I’m actively working or completed with your lair review (this is so that you can keep an eye on my activity, since I work very strange hours and so it’s likely that at some point you’ll hit a delay- whether I’m asleep, at work, or just busy- if you’re willing to wait, you’ll get your review! ... and if you’re NOT willing to wait, just send a CR and cancel it if I take too long. No hard feelings!) 2-Specify whether you want a Lair Review or a Roast Review (I’ll tag this post as both so you can find examples, but lair reviews are me complimenting and roasts are me criticizing... and often reaching really far for reasons to drag your dragons... sometimes there aren’t reasons for me to legit roast and at that point I turn to Mean Girls style of judgement where I just make up reasons to drag your dergs.) 3-If your tumblr isn’t linked on your page (or isn’t just your username+FR), please make sure you include it in the CR message or the PM. I will @ you as well as send you the direct link to your review/roast. If you wish to remain (kinda???) anon, message me and we’ll talk about your options.

4-Please make sure that if your dragons have preferred pronouns that they are listed in the description. If pronouns are unlisted I will choose them (I usually go with gendered pronouns based on the dragon pose, occasionally go with they/them, and rarely go without pronouns at all)

[5 (optional)] - I want a vocal review! B r i b e   m e. I have a super annoying voice and I’m far less put-together in vc than in text. if you do manage to bribe me for a vocal review, you’ll receive a vocaroo link via PM (FR PM or Tumblr message). Currently I’m uncomfortable posting my voice directly on my tumblr, but if you choose to share it with your friends (i.e. over a discord or messenger service) that’s fine.

FAQ-ish:

What kind of apparel do I accept? Anything! first of all it’s PWYW, and second of all I’m a fairly new player and I’ve chosen to spend my dragon cash on lair expansions, genes, and art, so a lot of the apparel I collect is from usermade bundles, MP bundles, and outfits specifically bought for a dragon that I dressed in the dressing room. In the end, if I don’t want it, I can melt it!

How many dragons will I do? Usually anywhere from 1-9! I tend to do 3+, but PWYW will always kind of end up on a sliding scale based on a list of how much you send, how much I like your dragons (or how roastable they are), and how much time I have.

How will it be tagged? I will @ you and pray that tumblr actually pings you instead of sending the @ directly into the void. On tumblr, reviews will also be tagged as either #lair review or #roast review , and often as #dragon share and #long post. If you would prefer me not to use the dragon share or long post tags, please let me know!

What’s an average guideline for pricing? Again, it’s pwyw, and all of the variables (love/hate/time/demand) will always affect your review. However I’ll just say it’s a yardstick of about 10k(10g)/dragon.

What if I’m sad? If you’re sad, or sad and broke, please PM me. You don’t have to talk about what’s getting you down, but if I have the extra time, I’ll put in the extra effort. (As long as I don’t feel taken advantage of. That’s no fun, either. :( So please be kind.)

What if I’ve ordered from you before? I love return customers! Chances are, on the first review, I didn’t get to everyone that I wanted to, because of Variables. If you’re a return customer, tell me! I’ll go back and find your last review, and try to make sure (if I don’t just remember off the top of my head) that new dragons get the spotlight! or hot seat

Finally, please don’t reblog THIS post (liking is fine), so that I can edit it and update it as things go along. Instead, I’ll be making a Hype Post that you’re welcome (and encouraged) to reblog.

[romancegamereviews]

Anatomy of a Review

With a bonus side of my own opinions on the genre as a whole. Overview A basic summary of the game with information on the production company and links to help you score your very own copy. No opinionating here. Just the facts. Main Character(s) Some info and my own opinions on the player controlled character or characters for this game. This is a major sticking point for me. I have a lot of trouble getting into a game if the character whose choices I'm guiding is boring or obnoxious or otherwise off-putting. Ideally, for me, the game should give you some wiggle room for sculpting a personality for the character yourself through your choices in game. There's little in this genre that annoys me more than a passive protaganist whose choices have little to no effect on the story as a whole or an insufferable jerkass who keeps making terrible choices over which you, the player, have no control. Story The larger story of the game outside of the romance elements. Sometimes the story is just a flimsy pretext for the romance to start. I'm... actually pretty ok with that so long as that story is both interesting and shaped or changed by the choices of the character in some way beyond simply Good Ending/Bad Ending. Romance(s) All of the romantic elements in the game, the good, the bad and the ugly. This is where I am going to pull out my soap box because, you see, I have a love/hate relationship with in game romance, particularly in games where that is the main draw. Nothing hooks me into a game faster than a good romantic subplot (or plot as is the case with many of the games I'm going to cover here) but I get so very tired of the same old tired rehashed cliches. And I hate the way that most games focus all of the writing and story around the courtship and then end the story (or at least the bits of it that were focusing on the romance) as soon as the relationship starts. This is a thing that pretty much all media is guilty of, really. And I get it. I do. Conflict is interesting. Contentment is boring. But there's so much potential in this genre of gaming to really explore the ins and outs and ups and downs of a relationship and.... nope. Most games just milk the will they/won't they tension until the first kiss or 'first time' for the more risque games and then Happily Ever After, roll credits. I think we can do better. I personally would kind of love to see a game that brushes past the early tension and dives right into the relationship itself. Replace the "Will they get together?" tension with "Will they stay together?" and make it ok for the answer to be no. Some relationships are just toxic and I think having a character learn that could be a great ending (and an important lesson for the many teenagers that make up a big chunk of the market for this type of game), but I may just be a weirdo. Writing The quality of the writing. Great concepts can be dragged down by bad writing. Bland or bizarre (I'm looking at you, Hatoful Boyfriend) concepts can be made engaging and vastly entertaining by excellent writing. I'll give you my opinion on which camp a game fell into for me. Art The artwork; characters, backgrounds and those all important CGs. Highly subjective and just my own opinion which counts for not a whole lot given that I, personally, have trouble keeping all the limbs proportionate on a stick figure. But hey, those who can't do, critique! Music/ Voice work Not every game has it but for the ones that do, I will give my review of it. This will also be highly subjective. Gameplay Whether it's combat, skill building or mini games there is usually some mechanic in place to make it a 'game' instead of 'novel.' Some of these add to the game and make it more enjoyable and some are just a grinding annoyance that make me rethink trying a replay to get more endings. Inclusivity Where did I put that soapbox? This last cattegory is where I talk about how much effort was made on the part of the game designers to make anyone who is not white, straight, cisgender and able bodied feel like this game is also for them. I'm not going to lie, many of these games fail at this. Hard. But some of them take small steps or even large leaps toward being inclusive and I will pass out cookies where cookies are due. Final Thoughts Any extra miscellaneous rambling not covered in the above cattegories and a 1/10 rating of the game as a whole along with suggestions for similiar games for those who also played the game and loved it or very different games for those that hated it. Now you know the system. Let the rambling commence!