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I am back with the next part. there is more to follow.
Unreliable Narrator (Anakin doesn’t have all the facts, he is going off of what he does know, and what he thinks he knows), low self esteem, lots of insecurity, and whatever else I've got Anakin dealing with, Jedi Critical, panic attacks (I think. That is what I was trying to write anyway. maybe it is mild? or anxiety?), fake medical practices, fake science, creative liberty taken with how the Force works (don't tell me you didn't see that one coming)
Three hours later, found Anakin sitting at the table, fiddling with yet another mouse droid's insides. He had already finished the one for Heartattack and sent it on its way. Maybe this new one could be for Kix...or maybe Risk. Risk would probably like it better.
As Anakin contemplated which Medic would like to have a tiny assistant more—it could hunt down rebellious recruits, it would be amazing—he felt Master Che enter the hall. He began putting his handful of tools away, and swept up all the odds and ends he was hoping to use for this particular project into a couple neat piles between a few datapad stacks, ruining his precise rows, but hopefully saving him a scolding for daring to use his assigned space to work on droids the Temple didn't need. Never mind that these droids weren't for the Temple.
He had just finished when his door slid open, allowing Master Che inside.
He turned to look at her, as was respectful, and felt his eyebrows fly up to his hairline.
Master Che was wearing her usual brown healer robes, and matching lekku covering. In her hands was a basket likely with his new IV bags. On top of the basket was a tray filled with several neatly stacked holocrons. Why...?
Anakin murmured a polite greeting mostly on reflex, rolling his sleeve up the way she wanted when checking his IV connections as he eyed the tray.
"Good afternoon, Skywalker," Master Che said. She rounded the table to his spot on the far side, and set the basket on the floor before transferring the holocron tray to the table. She bent again to remove one of the bags and handed it to him, then reached for the nearly empty bags attached to his arm.
"The results have come in on what may have happened," she disconnected one bag, and quickly swapped it out with the one she had handed to him. They did, did they? It had been two and half days, what took so long? "The good news is that as far as we can tell, you aren't about to kneel over." Well, that was nice to know. Anakin didn't want to die. He had plans that involve breathing. Dying would be extremely inconvenient.
Master Che bent, dropped the spent bag into the basket and pulled out the next replacement, then straightened. "Your DNA has changed from your last set of tests four years ago—" Ah, yes. That time when they doubted his identity. That had been an interesting experience. "—in that, as far as your results stand, you are your own over powered son." Anakin blinked down at his elbow, where he was watching her fiddle with how the needles laid in his veins. What? "The other half of your new genetic code comes from the clones the blood transfusions had come from. This explains the more visible changes we have discovered since your arrival—" What, like his Medics hadn't pick up on some of these changes? There is no way the four of them hadn't picked up on at least some of the things, lack of tools or no. "—like your darker skin."
So...Anakin was half Vod now?
He was so going to hold this over Fox's head. There will be no escape. Thorn would help him.
Master Che continued, "As far as we can tell, your various sore areas are from your hardening bones trying to broaden across the shoulders like the clones', and your muscles seem to be in the process of being cannibalized then replaced with the genetically enhanced muscle fiber variant that they had been engineered with by the Kaminoans." Her tone curled in the faintly disapproving way all Jedi Masters' did. What she was disapproving in that moment, Anakin didn't know. He couldn't help but turn stunned eyes on her.
Muscles like the men? Why would that be bad? Has she never seen how they move? How long they can keep going? This was an upgrade, and a welcome one. Maybe he'll be able to keep up with them more easily now.
You know. If he ever got to leave this blasted room.
She seemed to decide his tubes and needles didn't need to be replaced at this time, and removed her hands from him. She propped a hip against the table, and folded her arms across her stomach, lekku curling over her shoulders.
Anakin dropped his gaze back to her collar. Disgust leaked through her shields before it vanished again.
"Your various organs are also changing," she said, "so we are going to need to keep an eye on how that progresses. Do you have a headache?"
"Uh," Anakin thought about it, then shrugged. "Maybe? It's fairly mild, if I do." He definitely had a headache. He was pretty sure it was stress.
Master Che nodded, lek tips flicking in a pleased way. "That is because your brain chemistry is changing."
It was a good thing he wasn't on the medication Madam Rishè wanted him to be on, then. Not only would getting the amount of meds he would need on the daily be more than a little difficult to get, even if he did have reliable access to a high end pharmacy at least once a week, on the front lines? Forget it. Also, if his body was changing that much, which he was pretty sure was true, Anakin's metabolism was probably going to go up again. Which of course would expound the difficulty of getting enough of the mood medications Madam Richè kept trying to prescribe him. Especially right now. During the War. While he can't leave this very small room.
It would all be really hard to explain now.
And—his emotional control? That has to do with brain chemistry, it's part of why he has so many issues. If that is changing even more, what is that going to be like? Was he going to have to relearn his coping mechanisms? Were his various triggers going to change?
A shiver raked down his spine at that thought. He shoved it into his current don't think about it box, and dropped it into a convenient hole in the recesses of his mind. His subconscious obligingly whisked it away to a place where it would only haunt his dreams, not his every waking thought.
Don't think about it. Having a meltdown in front of a Master is the worse thing you can do.
Master Che continued, ignoring Anakin's turmoil expertly. Which was impressive, since he was apparently deafening in the Force even with his freshly build shields. Or, it would have been, if he couldn't feel the current she was making in the Force to pour her frustration into. It bled into the air and dispersed like an oppressive fog. "We don't know how much change you are likely to experience, only that you are not done yet." Well, obviously. "You will likely need to remain on your current diet until the changes slow, or even stop."
Anakin couldn't say he hadn't seen that one coming from the outer atmosphere. He started unrolling his sleeve so he didn't start fidgeting. "Will the changes stop?"
The Force around Master Che's mental shields twitched like the beginnings of an on coming sandstorm. "Change like this can only be temporary, Skywalker. DNA can only change so much. Before today, I would have said it cannot be changed like this at all, beyond in the embryonic stage as the clones were. You did finish your biology courses, didn't you?" Anakin nodded. She eyed him dubiously.
Okay, so Anakin hadn't attended all of the classes— he had better things to do with his time— but he had passed all of the tests. It wasn't like he didn't know the material.
"Scans of your blood donors—" Anakin went still. They had taken scans of the Vod'e? "—don't show anything amiss, as far as clone standards go. Of the three other Jedi who have received blood transfusions from the men have reacted as you have."
"You have no idea why this is happening." Anakin summarized.
"No." Master Che's lekku flexed.
Great. "What about my Sensitivity? Why is it going nuts? And why did it fry my prosthetic when the Resolute dropped out of hyperspace?" He waved the shameful excuse for engineering currently attached to his stump arm.
Master Che sighed deeply. "As you are aware, your midichlorian count is going up, which likely had something to do with it. It still hasn't leveled off. Beyond that...well." Her mouth twists in amusement. "No one has actually been able to define what Force Sensitivity is, so I cannot say for a fact."
Thank you for you enlightening words, Master. Excuse me while I go bask in the weight of your knowledge, Anakin drawled in the safety of his shields. The clarification is appreciated.
"However," Master Che flicked her left lek, "I would point out that it is likely not a coincidence that at the same time half of your genetic code has changed, your Sensitivity has also increased."
If Anakin had been using his energy to keep himself alive from something, and the blood transfusion had offered a solution to the issue, he would no longer need to use that energy to keep himself from dying. The freed energy was added to his usual reserves, increasing it by something like a factor of three and climbing.
As it had taken an entire genetic change to do this, it had to have been a pretty serious thing, right?
Anakin turned away to stare into the Aether. The Force. Whatever it was.
Maybe...maybe his mother had been literal when she told him he didn't have a Father, instead of what he had assumed. She had been a pretty, young woman in the hands of a Hutt at the time, so it wasn't as if rape had been an incorrect assumption to make, he admitted to himself. Then again, Shmi Skywalker had never been one to dance around the Truth with him, either. She had been one of the very few people in his life to do that.
Anakin set that aside. It was hardly the time to think about that.
It wasn't like he could ask her anymore, anyway.
The pain that was quickly growing to be like an old skin flared up again, and he gave himself a second to breath through it. Then he moved forward as his mother would have wanted him to.
"I understand where you are coming from," Anakin said, reaching for the nearest datapad he was pretty sure was mostly blank, "but what do I do to fix it?" He turned it on, and quickly navigated to the note application.
Master Che flicked a lek at the holocron tray. "I have come up with only one option so far. It is more than a little heretical according to our current teachings, but I don't believe that will be a problem for you."
Probably not. There were very few Jedi teachings Anakin followed when he was alone in public as a Jedi, and even fewer he agreed with wholeheartedly.
"You will need to form Force Bonds with the men in Torrent. Theoretically, those bonds would act something like canals, alleviating pressure in a reservoir. The energy required to maintain a bond with individuals lacking in Force Sensitivity, such as the clones, should assist in lessening the strain you are experiencing under your excess of psychic energy.
"I had...encouraged the Council to consider my proposal." She reached out to tweak the alignment of one of the holocrons with the tips of her fingertips. "They accepted. These will assist you in your endeavor." She swept the same hand over them, as if she hadn't just blown Anakin's mind. "They are holocrons of pre-Ruusan Reformation healers, who specialized in the healing of the mind. Specifically, they were primarily created in the era of the Army of Light, though some came from before." Master Che's mouth curls in amusement. The superior kind that twisted Anakin's stomach. "They call themselves Mind Healers."
Anakin's eyes snapped up to hers, shocked. She raised an eyebrow, and he dropped them just as quickly. He stared down at the floor, eyes wide. His fingers only kept typing on hard-won habit.
The Order had had therapists in the past? When and why had that stopped?
"They will be able to walk you through forming a bond with a Force Null." Both lek tips flicked this time. "If, of course, you can convince your men to agree to it."
Anakin needed answers. All of them.
But. First; what does this mean for him?
"Force bonds..." Anakin echoed. He weighed what he understood of Force Bonds from all of his teachers, against what he understood of the Jedi's view of such things. There was only one answer. Ignoring how his chest constricted in a foreign, fragile hope, Anakin stated, "You are speaking of attachments."
Master Che inclined her head regally. "I am. Specifically, Force Bonds with Torrent. It would take a massive amount of your...overabundance of energy, allowing your senses to reach more manageable levels. I will make note of your need for it in your medical files; it will be added to your Jedi profile, and those who must be informed of it, will be." She flicked one of her lekku over her shoulder with a twitch of her mouth. This time, her shields gave nothing away. "Beyond that, those who will be 'in the know' will be up to you and the rumor mill. This method will allow you to leave this room without risking brain damage.
"That can hardly be the only reason why the Council agreed to this," Anakin said flatly.
Sniffing disdainfully, Master Che agreed, "Perhaps not, but it is the only reasoning I am aware of." The only reasoning she cared about, Anakin heard. "It is the only treatment option currently available that ensures your continued health." She unfolded her hands from her middle. "I will leave you to your thoughts. Comm me if you have questions." With that, Master Che swept up the basket, then around the table again. The door slid shut behind her with a strange sense of finality.
Rex wasn't here. None of his me—the Vod'e were there.
Anakin's first impulse was to comm Rex and tell him about the bonding, let him have a night to think about it. He stomped on it ruthlessly. Anakin had no idea what...all of that meant. Or why it was actually being allowed to happen.
Alright, so that was a lie. Oh, Master Che had probably actually demanded he be allowed to do this for the reasons she said she had. She took her role as a Healer very seriously. Anakin simply doubted the Council agreed for the same reasons.
More likely, the Council had signed off on it because they couldn't afford to keep Torrent Company, one of their most effective suicide squads in reserve, in addition to the fact that without a way to reduce Anakin's Sensitivity, he was useless as a General. Useless in a time where the entire Order was stretched beyond thin. Useless in general too.
Anakin cringed away from the thought.
On the bright spot, the various Jedi who whispered about preferential treatment will actually have some form of truth in their words now, so they won't grate against his ears so painfully anymore. Not that he had been spending a whole lot of time in the Temple lately, but that was besides the point.
It also, he admitted, didn't matter why the Council decided to okay him forming bonds with his men. The Vod'e of Torrent. Why didn't matter, only that it was now an option for Anakin to consider.
First, how does Anakin feel about this? The answer came immediately.
Is Anakin willing to go through with having bonds with so many men who were at risk of dying in a moment's notice? Having connections that would be torn from his mind with every mission, every accident?
Ignoring how this would be the fastest way, if not the only way, that he would ever be able to leave this room again...Anakin had payed a higher price for less in return from those who let him care for them.
Who else will this effect?
This took longer to answer. Torrent, mostly, of course. If they accept. Maybe the Guard? Anakin would definitely want to introduce the two groups of Vod'e if he stayed with Torrent. That would impact how Fox did things, so bonding with Torrent would effect the Guard for sure, if only on the very rare times they were on leave...anyone else?
Anakin thought about Obi-Wan. Held what he knew of his relationship with Obi-Wan Kenobi in his mind, and considered it.
Bonding with anyone for any reason would do change his relationship with Obi-Wan. Negatively. If only because Obi-Wan has not wanted anything more for Anakin than for him to be a good Jedi. Good Jedi do not get attached.
A Force bond is a connection between two minds; two minds bound together with threads of their very own sense of self. Tied, bound, connected, bonded. Two made closer to one.
In no galaxy would that ever be anything less than attachment to Anakin. Even Master Che had agreed with him on that.
Anakin dropped his head to his hands. His mech hand jammed just a little too hard into the bones of his face, but it barely registered. White noise blared in his ears, drowning out all else.
He was going to loose Obi-Wan in one of the worst ways possible—it would have happened eventually, if only because he was going to leave the Order the moment he didn't have any responsibilities tying him to it. But that would have been because he would be leaving the Order. It was traditional to have no contact with those who leave, and Obi-Wan was nothing, if not a rule follower.
He couldn't even leave the Order! He was trapped in this room, for all that the door didn't even have a lock to lock him in. Even if he could withstand the sheer enormity of the Force itself for longer than twenty seconds without blowing the blood vessels in his brain, he couldn't run either. Every time he so much as breathed, he felt every strand of muscle, every pulse of blood in his veins. His joints creaked and popped and protested like straining leatheris in an old ship.
Anakin was chained by circumstances, and his only way out was through men he was supposed to take care of.
The flimsy durasteel of his temporary mech hand creaked ominously.
That knocked him out of his tail spin. Well enough to mentally grab himself in a strangle hold, in any case.
Information. All he needed to do was get the information on what is going on, what it would entail, and give it to the men. Then they can decide if they want anything to do with Anakin's mess.
If they decide to go through with it, Anakin would loose Obi-Wan in any way that mattered slightly sooner than originally estimated post-Geonosis. And in a messier manner.
If they decided they wouldn't, well. Anakin had been chained before. He survived then, he would survive now.
It would be just like making a report. Once he did that, it would be out of his hands.
Anakin slowly pulled himself fully upright in his chair and took a deep shaky breath. He let it out slowly through his mouth, ignoring the pressure starting to pulse in his skull, the weight twisting in his gut, and looked at the holorcrons. He can start there. He reached for the closest one. It was easy to ignore how his fingers trembled.
Anakin spent most of night eyeball deep in a string of...gently worded interrogations with the holocrons.
He would not do anything at all, if it meant hurting even a single person. He would sooner tear himself to pieces than do causing harm to anyone knowingly. To do so to someone who was meant to be under his protection? A far worse crime.
Healthy thoughts? Madam Rishe would say no, and Anakin did see her point, but he was okay with disagreeing on this front. She wasn't the one who woke up from his worst nightmares, the ones he couldn't remember more than burning and the hazy image of small lumps on the floor, certain he had done something horrible.
The holocron Mind Healers all said the same things.
Force Bonds have downsides, no matter how Sensitive the participants are. The sharing of dreams or nightmares, emotions and stray thoughts leaking across even carefully shielded bonds, a perpetual awareness of where the other is, and so much more. All things every Sensitive was accustomed to—many, many things Nulls were not. There would be an adjustment period, to say the least.
The Nulls may also experience headaches for a few weeks as the bond settled on their end. How long exactly that particular side effect lasted depended on how much energy he, as the Force Sensitive initiating the bond, extended both in forming the bond, and then in maintaining the bond, as well as their own personal hardiness.
Some non-Sensitives, the Mind Healers warned, could not handle any sort of bond. Or, more often, the Sensitive and the non-Sensitive are simply not compatible in the Force. The bond would never settle fully, or well, and it was no one's fault, simply the will of the Force. In such cases, rare though they might be, it was best to simply allow the bond to dissolve naturally, as bonds do when not maintained. Long term effects on these individuals have never been observed before, so there is no need for concern once the bond had withered away beyond perhaps some consoling to ensure both sides handled the failed attempt in a healthy way.
Somehow, despite these things, impossibly—amazingly, the positives far out weighed the negatives. It was easier to type up a comprehensive, and entirely honest report on what he had found than Anakin had thought it might be.
Anakin didn't sleep much that night, but he did manage some eventually. If only so Kix didn't scowl too hard.
