Though maybe not on Kadara, but here on Voeld it's about 4:00 AM, or the equivalent, I guess. Space time is weird.
I just get so tired sometimes.
It's the most mundane complaint, but when I say tired, I mean tired. Deep in my bones, my mind, my lungs, my damn soul, if you buy that kind of thing. One completed mission is replaced by three more, like a fucking Hydra of bullshit busy work. Then there's all the dying. Look, I don't have a problem taking that shot when I need to, but ever since we got here it’s been death, death, and more death. Some of the shit I’ve come across... I hope I never get used to it.
I just, I want to get this over with. I want to kick the Archon's ass into dark space and then
I'm 30 years old and I'm thinking about retirement. I came here so fucking ready to explore and see new worlds and plants and animals and people and sure, there's some of that, a lot of it even but I am just so
Tired.
Anyway, I promised to try to share my feelings more. Hope you don't regret it now.
This post will be home to all of the emails I write between Reyes and Ryder. Because the game didn’t give us enough.
Note: Links labeled “Reyes/Rosetta” are usually threads and include emails specifically focusing on my Ryder, Rosetta. Links labeled “single” are vague and can generally be applied to any Ryder, male or female. They are usually the beginnings of threads.
I’ll cut right to the chase: can you get off Kadara for a while? We’re on Eos and I’m running out of ideas here. Like, she’s still working, but she’s not all there, not really. This shit really got in her head. Cliche as it is, I think she needs you.
To: Peebee From: Reyes Vidal Please, just make sure she gets to bed alright. I'll owe you a favor - whatever crazy contraband or Remtech you want, it's yours. I'm the one who fucked up. She shouldn't have to hurt like this. Reyes P.S.: And thank you, Peebee. You're the only one on that ship who still talks to me.
Do you know what the worst part of this whole thing is?
Idk how you did it reyes, but you wedged your way into my mind and now it’s like, everywhere I go, there’s shit I wanna show you or I hear something funny and I wanna tell you so I can hear you laughs about it too and it’s just
It’s not fair? Because you burned me and I’m stil burned and I’m not ready to deal with it but I’m acting like a kid in one of those old teen vids doodling her crush’s name all over her notebook
I mean I guess being a 30 year old woman drunk emailing her crush isn’t that different. Sadder maybe.
CRUSH HA.
But then I have no fucking clue what other word to use
I just want to forget all about it but I don’t think I can yet. I’m sorry
Rosetta
Heads up
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Peebee (the obliging)
Sooo Ryder just came into my room freaking out that she accidentally sent you something she didn’t mean to send you. She’s drunk. Just thought you might want some context.
Goddess, I hope she said something useful. This whole thing is getting hard to watch.
Peebee
RE: Heads up
To: Peebee
From: Reyes Vidal
Please, just make sure she gets to bed alright. I’ll owe you a favor - whatever crazy contraband or Remtech you want, it’s yours.
I’m the one who fucked up. She shouldn’t have to hurt like this.
Reyes
P.S.: And thank you, Peebee. You’re the only one on that ship who still talks to me.
RE: RE: Heads up
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Peebee (the too tired for this shit)
She’s asleep. I sure hope SAM can help with hangovers.
Look, I’m just as pissed as anyone else, but in case you haven’t noticed, our illustrious Pathfinder has it bad for you. If she decides you’re what makes her happy, I’ll fly her to Kadara myself.
Besides, you’re smitten too. I know you wouldn’t hurt her again, and you know what’ll happen if you do.
Peebee
About last night
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Rosetta Ryder
Wow. Shit. That’s really fucking embarrassing and I am so sorry. I’d tell you I don’t know what I was thinking, but it’s pretty clear that I wasn’t. No one needs to see me that fucked up, least of all you.
Listen, you know I wasn’t planning to ice you out forever, right? But I did plan on getting my head straight first. That clusterfuck of mixed signals and drunk whining and crying was not how I wanted to broach the subject of “us”. If there even is an “us”.
But there that shit is, I guess. My inner emotional turmoil and total inability to handle it like an adult is all out in the open. So, what the hell - I can hardly embarrass myself any further.
Can we finally talk about this?
Rosetta
RE: About last night
To: Rosetta Ryder
From: Reyes Vidal
You don’t need to apologize to me, Rosetta. I’m the one who got us here.
Name a time and place and we’ll talk about whatever you want, for as long as you want.
Reyes
P.S.: I haven’t stopped missing you for one second since that day.
Your outpost is really coming together, Ryder. Supply lines are in place and the Collective is patrolling the area, though the colonists the Initiative sent are sharp and don’t need much help. You should come see it for yourself.
After everything, I only want to do right by you.
At least let me know if you’re okay.
Reyes
[DRAFTS] RE: Ditaeon update
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Rosetta Ryder
How could I be?
RE: Ditaeon update
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Rosetta Ryder
I’ll make sure we stop by when we have a chance. Sounds like you and Christmas have things well in hand, though.
To: Reyes Vidal From: Peebee (the too tired for this shit) She's asleep. I sure hope SAM can help with hangovers. Look, I'm just as pissed as anyone else, but in case you haven't noticed, our illustrious Pathfinder has it bad for you. If she decides you're what makes her happy, I'll fly her to Kadara myself. Besides, you're smitten too. I know you wouldn't hurt her again, and you know what'll happen if you do. Peebee
