#ricam

[ulissesmlima]

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[vanderjamil-blog]

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[vanderjamil-blog]

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[ersagnurhan864865]

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[leocadiojr]

Grande caos corporativo. #valor #valores #negócios #caos #mudança #ricardoamorim #ricam

[authoratlas]

TIB||I’m a Bad Storyteller and An Even Worse Boyfriend

Okay, so before we even get into the Valentine’s mess, maybe I should finish the birthday story from like 3 weeks ago. 

Only Michael and I could make it. Charlie, thankfully, left about an hour before the party, but he did so with a threat for later, as far as I was told. 

His parents stayed in their room for almost the entire party, and showed no interest in meeting their son’s closest friends. But, you know, whatever. 

We had the option to be in the living room, but Cam found that incredibly boring, so we ended up hanging out in his room. It was only the 2nd time I’ve been in his room, and this time was on much better terms. I actually got to look around the room, and there was more stuff than expected, though not by too much. I didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth when he told me he had a buttload of first aid stuff in the bathroom, but I didn’t check, despite the multiple opportunities. 

Now, I should state that Cam’s room is on the opposite side of the house from his parents. That should mean that what they say or do would be easily concealed if we’re in his room. 

We found out the hard way that it wasn’t the case. About 45 minutes after I showed up, and only a half-hour after Michael showed up, they apparently started arguing, and got increasingly louder as time went on. Cam was doing his best to ignore it, occasionally rolling his eyes and sighing. After 5 minutes, he says, “Sorry, guys.”

“Don’t apologize,” I say. “It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, I mean, they’re the dirtbags that are fighting at your birthday party.”

He sighs, for the 10th time in the past 5 minutes, and replies, “Yeah, but I should’ve known.”

“Shut up,” I say. 

Now, as far as I know, they’re continued fighting after the party was over, actually getting way louder, and when Charlie came home, Cam didn’t have a great time, but he thanked us for letting him have an actual birthday party for once. Michael nearly started crying when he stepped outside. “This kid... I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. My parents are dead, and I’d literally rather keep it like that than to deal with what he goes through.”

“I don’t share the sentiment but I do agree that he’s stronger than anyone gives him credit for.”

As for the Valentine’s thing, almost a full week ago, it’s not as bad as I make it seem, but here’s what happened.

I’m perpetually broke. I have money somewhere, but I’ve broken it up into three stashes and only know where the smallest one is. 

The smallest one is $15. I took that and went to the store. 

The issue is that I need something for Cam and something for Annie. They had these little stuffed bears, thankfully, that were adorable, and well within the price range I needed. I grabbed those, and a box of valentines from the dollar store. I wish I could get more, but I guess I’ll just have to make up for it in actions for now, and money later.

The box of valentines had more than enough for those two and the rest of my friends, so I offered the box to Annie, afterwards, so she could do some for her friends. 

All in all, it wasn’t a total disaster, he liked the small gift because he is like 10 years old, at heart, and he didn’t get me anything too big, either. I just wish I could’ve done more for someone who means so much to me. 

[authoratlas]

TIB||Cam’s Birthday, So Far

Let me explain something to you: Cam turned 15 on Monday. And yeah, his parents are letting him have his party this upcoming weekend, but he was told he can only invite 5 guests. He’s been trying to push for each friend being able to bring a friend, but then, I feel bad, because when he’s invited anyone, most people have backed out. So far, in the In Between (hehe), the only people who’ve been available are me and Michael. Even Michael’s girlfriend Lucy backed out; apparently, she’s got some family event to go to on Saturday.

They won’t let him reschedule. They can’t promise they won’t fight. Charlie’s threatening Cam with maybe hurting him in front of us, to which I said, “He can’t take on both of us. Not even Kellan could do that. And Michael, too.”

Well, anyways, I’m not okay with all that stuff, not by any means, because I really want him to be happy, and that’s not going to happen with his family.

But, at least he can have a birthday party. 

[akillersunrise]

Broken (RiCam Angst)

 "Cam!" A patch of olive green appeared in his vision. "Help," he yelled, at the sight of his own blood. He fell to the floor as they walked out, laughing.

 "Riley," Cam called, searching the P.E. field for the boy with messy brown hair and light brown eyes. He'd searched, to no avail, and the coach was no doubt getting impatient. The next place to search would be the locker room, and since Cam's already completed his five laps, he can go there; Coach doesn't care as long as those five laps are done. As he walks to the doors leading to the locker rooms, he sees the group Riley ironically calls the Lovely Angels™, walking out of the locker rooms, joking and laughing. At the sight of Cam, it seemed as though they thought he was the funniest thing in the world. Cam gets a bad feeling as they pass by, now near-certain Riley is in the locker room.

 Walking into the locker room, he calls out, "Riley?" He heard Riley groan before he saw him.

 Honestly, nothing could prepare Cam for this. He turned the corner to see his boyfriend (and best friend, I should add) covered in blood, sitting against a locker. Before he could process what he'd seen and what he was doing, he was already on his way back over to Riley with a buttload of tissues.

 He instructed Riley on how to pinch his nose to stop the bleeding, and helped him with the whole head-tilting thing. Then, he said, "I'll be right back, just... keep doing that."

 Coach dismissed Riley, when he was informed of the situation. Cam was already done for the day, technically. He walks back to the locker room, hoping Riley is okay. The amount of blood had scared him, but it was only Riley's nose, and hopefully that was the worst they'd done. As he walks inside, he says, "Okay, I'm back, but I'm gonna change real quick."

 Once he'd changed out of gym clothes, he thought about the fact that Riley isn't in gym clothes. He's still in his regular clothes, which means that he doesn't have a clean shirt to wear; he never brings a spare shirt, but Cam does, and right now he was thankful for his preparedness.

 He grabs the shirt before walking back over to Riley, whose nose had finally stopped bleeding. "Are you okay," Cam asks.

 Riley shakes his head. "No," he replies, his voice cracking. Cam stands to throw away the bloody tissues. When he comes back, he sees Riley sitting against the lockers again, hugging his knees to his chest. He seems lost in thought. Cam sits next to him, asking, "Is it okay for me to touch you right now?" Riley nods, so Cam hugs him. "I'm sorry. I wish I could've stopped them."

 "I was screaming for help," Riley says. "I was screaming for you. Nobody came."

 "I'm sorry."

 "I-- I mean, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault."

 "What happened? I saw them leave the locker room, they did their five laps."

 "I guess they came back in just after they did their five, and I didn't hear them. Before I knew it, I was backed into a corner. Man, do I hate being cornered. I don't know." He runs a hand through his hair, before sighing and continuing, "It wasn't a normal fight, they taunted and teased me a few times and then they'd punch me. It was bad," he says, and Cam can hear it in Riley's voice; it was bad.

 "If you're willing to talk about it, I would like to hear what they did so I have a list of things to do back to them. And so I can assure you that the lies they told you were indeed untrue."

 "I mean, kinda, but a lot was true."

 Cam looks at him, and says, "Riley."

 "What," he asks, sounding tired. "What do you want me to tell you? They backed me into a corner, they told me that if I tried to run, they'd settle their bet, but I couldn't find a way out anyways. So I rolled my eyes, and that's how I got re-acquainted with magenta pain and wanted to die. Grant said, 'Too bad your loser boyfriend isn't here to save you as always,' and I apologize for not defending you, but I was kind of focusing all my energy into staying standing."

 "Dude, don't worry about me. I'd rather you be safe or at least safer, rather than you defending honor I don't have and getting hurt worse."

 "I don't know, man, I feel like I should've defended you, it's not like they didn't completely annihilate me, anyways."

 "Well, what bet were they threatening to settle? The punch bet?" Riley nods. "Technically, by not running, then, you did defend me. Which, as much as I appreciate it, if you can get away, run next time. I don't care, they can try whatever they want to do to me as far as that goes. They're wouldn't be the first."

 Riley looks away. "I was trying so hard to keep myself under control, I knew what would happen if I lost my temper. I didn't want to give them the excuse or satisfaction. I'm just so frustrated now. I wish I had punched them so I could feel better now."

 Cam shrugs. "So what happened after they dissed me?"

 "Another punch, then bigmouth started with what he had to say."

 "Which was?"

 He sighed. Cam couldn't help but notice how small Riley seemed right now, despite the fact that Riley was an inch taller. "He said, and I quote, 'Loser one and loser two. If you weren't such a loser, maybe your mom would still be alive.' I guess he saw how much that hurt me, because he said, 'Oh, you know. How does that guilt feel?' So Kellan says, 'Probably like this,' and that is the story of how my diaphragm got punched into the wall."

 "Dang."

 "My lungs hurt when I think about it. Anyways, I heard a lot of taunts and insults, some of which cut pretty freakin' deep."

 "I'm here to listen, if you want to talk about it."

 "Umm. There's some that I probably shouldn't tell you."

 "Unless it makes you uncomfortable, I don't mind hearing it."

 He shrugs. "They told me that I should've let you kill yourself and that they'd like it best if we both did, at the same time. Michael, too, except they deadnamed him, so it took me a minute to figure out who they were talking about. They said that us three are pretty much the only people who give a crap whether the three of us live or die, and that we'd probably be better off dead."

 Cam was a bit hurt by that, by the fact they could be so blunt about all of that, but what bothered him more than that was that it was said about Riley and Michael, as well. These two kids who aren't perfect (who is?), but try their best to be their best every day. These kids who help him daily, who keep him going when everyone and everything else is determined to crush him. These kids who he cares about, one who he loves in so many ways, and another who is a better friend than almost anyone else Cam knows. It wasn't right. He knew it wasn't right to be said about him either, but it felt hypocritical to call that out.

 So he stood, angrily, ready to go destroy this group, consequences recognized and unanimously elected ignored, but Riley grabbed his shirt.

 "Don't. Please. Look, man, it's not worth it. If I was gonna do something like that, it would never be because they said I should."

 "Hell, man, you better not do it at all," Cam says, jokingly.

 "I know. I've got you, and Annie, and Michael, and The In Between, and occasionally I've even got grandma. Sometimes life just gets to be too much and it almost begins to become a potentially valid option. And then I think about you guys. It doesn't take the pain away, but it gives me a reason to push through it. I don't wanna ever leave you guys behind, but my mind gets so crazy sometimes, and I just, I know I'm not okay, I'll probably never be 100% okay. I feel guilty, and nervous, and bad, and hopeless, and I hate it," he says, tearing up.

 "Hey, Cam says, softly. "It's okay, I do it too."

 "Most people just don't get it. They expect everything to always be okay, but it's not. Everyone's like, 'Oh, these are the best years of your life, you have no reason to feel so bad'. I don't know what the future holds, what if there's nothing but life like this? College isn't guaranteed, I have no security in knowing my life will get better."

 "Nobody has any security in it, at any moment someone can lose it all."

 "Everyone tells me not to feel this way, but they did strike a nerve," Riley says. "Her death was my fault."

 It took Cam a second to realize what Riley meant. "It's not, though."

 "Look, man, don't try and correct me on this," Riley says, sounding tired. "The fact is that she died, going to meet the principal because I was being bullied. If I wasn't such a weird loser kid, she'd still be alive."

 "Yeah, but conversely, I would've died, back in September."

 "No..." he trails off.

 "Yeah, Riley. If you were normal and relatively well-adjusted, you wouldn't have ended up in The In Between. We never would've met, I would've been partnerless, probably paired with Mrs. Wyatt. I wouldn't have told her much. Had you not actually come over to talk me out of what I was tempted to do, there wouldn't be a Cam Casey anymore. Anyways, kids have picked on other kids for nearly nothing. It's not your fault, and I really don't think she'd want you to feel like it is. What's to say she wouldn't have died anyways?"

 He didn't respond, he only looked away again. Cam sighed. "You know, I had a plan, that night, and everything. That's what scared me, was the realization that I was planning it out. I figured I could either start writing the note or I could call you and hope for the best. I was embarrassed as hell, but looking back at it now, a mildly embarrassing phone call was a way better idea than that was. I had options and I chose to call you. I'm so glad that was an option."

 "Me too," Riley mumbled. Cam hugged him again, and Riley turned to look at him. It was evident that he'd looked away because he was crying. "How do you manage to make me feel better?"

 Cam shrugged, "I don't know, is that a thing?"

 "You have a tendency to make me feel like I'll be okay, and that things might be alright after all."

 Cam smiled. One day, he'd feel ready to tell Riley how many times Riley'd done the same for him, but for now, things were alright.