#roachbot roachthoughts

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throwing hands with my dysphoria but that shit is fighting dirty

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OCD needs to pipe the FUCK down this instant

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Sometimes it's really hard to tell what I am or was or whatever the right term is

Unbelievable amount of cat mannerisms and urges n all'at, but also phantom wings and horns and vivid images of the way I'm apparently supposed to look. This doesn't even touch on the robot stuff

Only thing I know forsure is at some point I was (at least part of) the void, or a very void-like entity. Vast murky ocean, if you dipped your hand in it would disappear before your eyes, located somewhere very deep.

I think, maybe, voidkin hellcatkin ferrethearted dobermanhearted and robothearted(maybe machinekin, I don't actually know :-/ i have a big connection with bots but idk fully)?? Ugh I'm still not sure tho so. Hrm.

God if I had actual memories n shit this would make this so much easier. I know this isn't my first go-round of life but that's all I can get out of this brain RAHH

I'll figure it out eventually. Bottom line is I am not human and I know that for sure. This is likely one of my first times in a human body with how I react to it.

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I am so normal about media I enjoy (I am going to start tearing things apart with my teeth)

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Update: I've entered teenage post game+

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"I don't need to bring my meds" I tell myself as I pack for my weekend trip "What's the chances of me freaking out and needing to take them? I'll just be staying with friends"

The Anxiety Disorder and Trauma Responses around the corner with a crowbar:

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Cramping and getting stuck on the couch, just like God intended

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I wonder if when my ferret looks me in the eyes, if he feels similar to me.

I wonder if he feels love and appreciation I feel when I look at him.

Sometimes I wonder what goes through his head.

I hope he knows I love him