TAGS: rin n sae, absolute pure crack, mentions of hard ons (once), I diss mimic (sorry roblox mimic fans)
A/N: this idea emerged when I watched Rogurt play and shit on the new Mimic Roblox chapter, let me just say I actually have 0 idea what is going on in it, but watching that reminded me my favourite chapter (Jealousy I) had some woman chasing me around named Rin and therefore I immediately have to make it about bllk and wowee look
You’re bored, doomscrolling your life away as you lazily reach for the molecules of crumbs hiding in your basically empty chip packet. Eventually, you find something that will occupy your shortening attention span for a minute or so– Roblox horror game recommendations. The video recommends ‘The Mimic’, announcing the new chapter 4 and the ‘exciting’ new content it brings. Being starved to death with boredom, you decide to boot up your dusty computer to play it since it’s better than scrolling for another 2 hours. Your computer whines as it boots up as you get ready to abuse it after yet another game makes you rage-quit. You search up ‘The Mimic’, unconsciously clicking on the first result before the game icon even has a chance to load.
Once you load it, you roam around a bit and appreciate (or atleast try to, a bit hard with your shitty graphic settings) the new lobby before hitting play. Instead of choosing the new chapter like you said you would, you just went with your old time favourite– Jealousy I. You would always play it with your friends, always stopping right after poisoning one rat because you couldn’t be bothered to go find the others, instead opting to just go bully kids on Adopt Me. This time, you made it a goal to finish the whole chapter or atleast get past Rin before chickening out.
You load into the familiar starting streets of a dimly lit road leading the office building, quickly scavenging for the key and talking to your half-dead brother, barely skimming over whatever he’s yapping about. Hopping onto the boat, you look up to stare at the Majora’s Mask looking moon before being swallowed by some monster you still haven’t identified to this day.
You expect to load into the traditional Japanese buiding, but are instead greeted with the snowy grasslands of…..
a soccer field?
“The fuck?” you speak to yourself, confused.
You look around, the snow blinding your screen as a blaring sound of a blizzard storms pours out your speakers and into your ear drums. Slowly moving, you find a book burried in the thickets of unkept grass blades. You press ‘E’, opening up the book and starting a small cutscene. You hope for it to be the original story of how Rin ate Mio, but assuming from arriving on some damn soccer field you expect otherwise.
Long ago, there lived two brothers. The brothers were prodigies at soccer, constantly honing their ego and perfecting their skills. One day, the eldest– Sae, left for Spain. He eventually came back, but something about his demeanour was off. The two brothers, versed each other in a soccer match, with Sae victorious. The youngest– Rin, questioned their overwhelming power gap but was never told why. Jealousy overtook Rin, and to satisfy his ego he consumed his own brother. This action led to a mysterious mouth appearing on the back of Rin’s head– the mouth of Sae, who constantly wailed for ass, otherwise resulting in extreme pain for both.
The cutscene ends, with it’s story resulting in a side eye and your jaw dropped on the floor. This is DEFINITELY not the Mimic you remember. You shrug, deciding to continue playing it as it sounds like a fun experience and would make a good game to play with your friends while you laugh hysterically at what you just witnessed.
But what you’re witnessing right now is even more hilarious.
You turn your player over to a shrilling scream from the far end of the field, followed by a figure running up to you. You decide it’s an excellent idea to run towards what was presumably the monster to get a better look, and upon closer inspection your doubts have been cleared, because instead of the classic Jealousy I monster Rin Tsushima, it is now Rin Itoshi from Blue Lock with his tongue flailing around like that one animation (cough), with a wailing Sae screaming for your booty cheeks on the back of his head. You tilt your head slightly down to see him sporting a massive hard on. How nice.
You audibly laugh (correction: absolutely fucking scream in pure laughter).
You quickly type in the command to take a screenshot, dragging your mouse over Rin, before hitting the shift key to zoom away faster than anytime you’ve ran for track in PE. You hear heavy footsteps and loud crunches of snow and grass following behind you, accompanied with a shrill voice still screaming for cheeks. The objective chimes on the top right-hand corner of your screen.
Objective:
Poison three soccer balls 0/3
Bait Rin towards the goal and feed him the balls 0/3
“Oh man aren’t I in for a jolly time,” you giggle while wiping the tears pooling up in your eyes from laughter.
Wasting no time, you find the three soccer balls and give them a nice dunk in the bottle of poison conveniently placed on one of the spectating benches, all while Rin continues to chase you down with his horrifyingly long tongue. After poisoning all three, you bait Rin as told and watch the beautifully rendered cutscene play where his stupid ass delightfully munches on the balls like he’s been starved for 2000 years (he probably has considering the story).
“Ahh…” Rin slowly trudges towards you, glaring down at your character, “You dare try to trick me with balls?”
You can’t help but giggle at that sentence.
He moves even closer, the shitty model somehow conveying more anger than you thought a Roblox game could. “You’ve upset Sae.”
Rin flops over to show the gaping mouth on the back of his head, screeching it’s ass (mouth, technically) off to let it be known it is indeed, very, very, upset. You have a hunch it didn’t like those soccer balls.
If you remember correctly, this is where you try to escape getting brutally mauled by Rin in the actual game. You were never too good at the chase sequences (although you’re pretty sure it’s just because the chases suck balls), but after evading seek in Doors countless times you’re pretty sure you can do it this time. Cracking your knuckles, you set your hand on the WASD keys.
But instead, you’re met with a blank screen, reflecting another hideous face instead of the shitty Rin model (your face incase you couldn’t figure it out).
“Bruh-”
Before you can go ranting on about how this game practically edged you and left you on a damn cliffhanger, Rin makes a final appearance in the lovely Rin animation with the song blasting through your shitty laptop speakers. You jump, not expecting that ending as your computer churns and processes to show, “Disconnected- Reason: Kicked from game.”
Well, that was entertaining for a bit. Back to scrolling.
