“Rin, have you ever thought you might be autistic?”
He pauses the current match he’s analysing, slowly turning his to face you. “…what gave you that idea?”
“Hm, it’s just that you show a lot of traits.”
“That’s absurd,” Rin scoffs, fidgeting with his hands as he awkwardly shifts in his seat.
“Not it’s not, I ain’t no professional theorist but I have my reasons. For starters–”
He stays quiet, shifting his focus back to the paused game, reaching for the remote to prevent you from spilling your Matpat theories. You quickly snatch the controller before Rin can get to it, stashing it under a pillow on the other side of you.
“Hey, don’t avoid me!”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” he sighs.
“C’mon, you gotta at least hear me out,” you beg.
He narrows his eyes, looking at the tv, then to the pillow where you put the remote, and then hesitantly to you. “Tsk. Fine. But make this quick.”
“Huzzah. Where was I……oh yeah–” you pause before continuing, “one of the traits I think you have, is your routine.”
“…But that’s normal. Everyone has a schedule,” he mutters.
You shrug, “no, but like yours is super specific. You always follow it perfectly, and you never change what you do.”
“That’s the point of a routine.”
“Ehh….well…..most people don’t really stick to them after a while. But y’know, it’s a good habit that you follow it consistently.”
“I guess.”
“Secondly–” you bring up two fingers, “is your hyper-fixation on soccer. And before you say, ‘everyone has interests,’ you are very, very passionate about soccer. Like, insanely passionate. Again, not saying that’s a bad thing, but it shows with, uhm– how do I put this lightly…..”
He raises an eyebrow, “…Just spit it out.”
“Well, your grades other than P.E and English really show how much you love soccer.”
Rin goes awfully silent, frowning as he shifts for the nth time, letting what you said sink in.
“It’s okay Rinnie!” You console him, patting his shoulder.
You think for a few seconds, Rin nervously waiting for you to continue, realising he’s been bouncing his leg and immediately stopping himself before you notice.
“You also avoid direct eye-contact. See– you’re doing it right now,” you point out.
His wandering eyes immediately lock onto yours, although he struggles to keep his sharp glare focused on you without him subconsciously looking away.
“That’s not true….”
You deadpan. “Yes it is.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Rin bites his lip, thinking carefully about his words before quietly asking, “…would you hate me if I was autistic?”
You freeze, before softly smiling at him, “of course not! Your personality is one of the many reasons I fell in love with you.” You lean onto his shoulder, giving him a light peck on the cheek before continuing, “you’re still my RinRin– autism or not.”
A faint blush dusts the tips of Rin’s ears as he breathes an internal sigh of relief.
“…I’m autistic,” Rin blurts out.
“Yeah, I know Rin, that’s what I’ve been saying.”
He thickly swallows, “no like– I’ve been diagnosed…..and stuff.”
You sit upright, leaning far too close to Rin. “WHAT?? I mean, not surpising, but HOW COME YOU KEPT DENYING IT UNTIL NOW??”
“Because I was scared you wouldn’t accept me,” his eyes soften, looking down at his lap as he picks at his nails, “I’ve…been bullied and made fun of before because I was autistic, and I was just– I didn’t want to experience that again…not saying I thought you were going to make fun of me specifically–” he adds just incase you thought otherwise.
“Oh, Rin,” you hold out your arms, in which he happily obliges and lets you embrace him tightly. “I would never make fun of you.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry that happened,” you quietly utter.
“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter to me now I guess.”
“Those kids suck. If anyone ever makes fun of you, I’ll kick them really hard in the nuts.”
“…okay.”
You bring a kiss to the top of Rin’s head, softly brushing his overgrown bangs out of the way to kiss him once again, this time on the nose.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” you smile.
He simply nods in reply, smushing his face into the crook of your shoulder. “….love you.”
“Love you too, Rinnie.”
a/n : this one took a long time because I wasn't happy with it so it went through so many revisions....ty to @ace-scream & @asahinamafuyuu for beta-reading!
He pauses, sitting up straighter as he turns away from the soccer match he was analysing on the TV, facing you, but not making direct eye contact. Rin can’t see your face right now, but he knows you’re probably glaring right at him, giving him even more of a reason to avoid looking at you completely.
Rin makes sure to tread carefully on his choice of words, scared of what he’s done this time. “….hi.”
You lean against the doorframe connecting the living room to the kitchen. “I need to talk to you.”
He winces, swallowing slowly, “did I…….do something wrong?”
You don’t answer, instead walking towards Rin. You extend your hand, demanding, “hand them over.”
Rin blinks in confusion. “…..what?”
“You heard me– hand them over.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You stick your tongue out at him, “liar.”
“Please, I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about,” he pouts, “If you’re mad at me, I can–”
You laugh. “No silly, I’m not mad.”
“Then what do you want from me?”
You gently brush his overgrown bangs out of his eyes, revealing those signature turquoise and teal irises accompanied by ridiculously long under-lashes. “Your eyelashes, RinRin.”
“…are you having gender-envy again?”
You sigh, plopping yourself next to him on the couch. “Mayyyybeee. But who wouldn’t! Your eyelashes are so nice, it’s unfair,” you state as you continue to stare at him, “I swear men always have the nice facial features. This is why I told you men should be the wives.”
Rin lets out a huff in reply. “Stop staring at me. It’s creepy.”
“I’m just admiring you.”
“Admire me in a less direct way.”
You think for a second, taking your gaze off him. “Hm. Anywho– Rin, you should be my wife. You’d make a good wife.”
“…..I’m not going to be your wife,” he mutters.
“At least carry our baby then.”
“The hell??” Rin glares at you, “men can’t get pregnant.”
“Not yet, they can’t.”
He freezes at your comment. “….I’m going to breakup with you if you somehow make me pregnant.”
Ever since you and Shidou met in highschool, you two instantly clicked. Both rebellious in nature, both having dreams too big for this world to comprehend. You vowed to support each other through thick and thin, always be there when the other needed it, and always listen to one another’s dreams.
“One day…….I’ll put all my genes into a winning goal,” Shidou grins.
“Gosh, you have such a funny way with words, Ryusei,” you laugh, “well, whatever you mean by that, I’m sure you’ll achieve it.”
You punch his arm for good luck, Shidou punching you back even harder.
It was simple, like this. The peaceful evenings where you two would sneak out to a convenience store, laughing too hard at mediocre jokes as your melon flavoured ice-cream slowly dripped onto the sidewalk. You liked it, the company you never had, a friendship you never experienced, moments you could never forget.
Shidou eventually got a chance to pursue his dream, getting scouted into the illustrious program known as Blue Lock. Although you’d be sad there’d be no one to muck around with in math class or get blacklisted from the library for yelling too loud, you cheered him on until it was time to say goodbye as he boarded the bus, still wearing that shit-eating grin like always.
And now, Shidou’s right where he wants to be– on the green grassy fields accompanied by the loud roars of fans and the blast of commentators as he scores the goal he’s dreamt of since forever.
“Hm. Nice work, Devil boy,” Sae gives him a pat on the shoulder as Shidou stands there, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his forehead and onto the field.
Sae’s words fall short this time, the comment empty to Shidou as it wasn’t from the person he needed. The person who was there from the very start of all of it. The very start of his dream.
You. He wanted to hear it from you.
After the match, he immediately takes a cold shower, the droplets falling heavy on his tired shoulders as he tries to wash up quickly. Shidou calls a cab, wasting no time with giving directions so he can once again feel the warm and comfort you brought.
He steps out, the cold, crisp air creeping under his branded U20 jacket as he makes his way to where he knows you’d be.
Shidou smiles softly, no grin or smirk this time. “….hey, I scored that goal just like I said I would.”
But he doesn’t say that to you. Nor to anyone else.
But he says it as he slowly crouches down to your grave.
a/n: haha shidou angst isn't this great 😊 (headers/divider by @strangergraphics !)
All Itoshi Rin ever wanted was approval from his big brother.
Not to rival Isagi.
Not to win the world cup.
Not to be the number one striker.
Those goals were all tepid– lukewarm, compared to what he wanted, deep down.
Validation.
He started soccer to be with Sae. He pursued it even after his brother pushed him away.
Deep down, no matter how much Rin tries to deny it, a part of him will keep playing soccer just to be with Sae again. To relive the fond memories that seem distant and foggy now.
Because after all, you chase after a person just to experience the happy moments, right?
So when Sae slowly walks towards Rin, and speaks to him for the first time since he came back from Spain just to compliment Isagi instead of him, right in front of his little brother’s face, Rin feels his heart sink.
And he can’t seem to find the words to get Sae to stay, as his older brother turns away from him, just like last time, to congratulate Isagi. The one thing he worked so hard for, the one thing he wanted, isn’t for him.
And Rin can’t help but cry since that cold, snowy night.
His pain comes out as a few small droplets at first, sliding down his cheek and slowly onto the freshly cut blades of grass.
Then, more suddenly come.
A swell of emotions overwhelm Rin, with him barely able to hold it in anymore, he rushes to the locker rooms of the stadium and collapses onto the bench, tears welling up in his eyes and threatening to spill any moment, his breathing rapidly picking up pace, heartbeat violently thrumming in his ears, gasping for air, for someone to hold onto.
“DO YOU EVER WISH YOU WERE ATHLETIC?”
featuring Rin, Sae n Shidou! (crack, suggestive– only on shidou's part)
A/N: haha I'm doing anything but part 2 of the barou fic 💔 i apologise
RIN ITOSHI
You two are watching ‘The Shining’ for the 500th time, before you pause the movie, grinning mischievously as you’ve come up with another way to bother him. “Hey, Rin.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever wish you were athletic?”
He glares at you like you’ve just offended his whole career (you pretty much have). “What?”
“You heard me, do you ever wish you were athletic?”
“I-” Rin pauses in disbelief, readjusting himself to face you, “Is this a joke?”
You try to muster up the most serious expression possible, barely holding back laughter, “no. I’m being deadass right now.”
“You’re rage baiting me. I just know it. Cut it out with that lukewarm shit.”
“Hey! I’m not, just answer my question.”
“I’m literally a professional soccer player,” he scoffs.
“Yeah, I know that, but don’t you wish you were more athletic than that?”
“How?? How am I supposed to be more athletic?? What do you want me to do?? See how many soccer balls I can kick in your face??”
“Hey, that’s not actually a bad idea,” you grin.
“Tsk. You’re weird.”
SAE ITOSHI
“Saeeeeeeeee,” you groan, Sae currently paying no attention to you as he flicks through his social media while you groggily lounge next to him. “Saeeeeeeeee.”
He sighs, putting aside his phone, “what do you want?”
“Do you ever wish you were athletic?”
Sae just stares at you. “….I am athletic. I’m a pro-soccer player. I’ve been playing since I was one years old.”
“Woah. Fancy Fernando over here. Was just asking if you wish you were athletic.”
“And I answered.”
“Hmmm. I suppose that’s true. Do you ever you were more athletic though?”
“I’m pretty athletic for my career, I’d say.”
“I dunno, you’re getting old. I think you know….. Rin might actually be more athletic than you.”
“Yeah, don’t lie. I’m not that old and Rin has a lot of catching up to do,” he mutters.
“Okaaaaaaay.” You lean against Sae for a bit, thinking, before you blurted out, “What if Bunny is more athletic than you-”
“Shut it.”
SHIDOU RYUSEI
You walk into where Shidou’s currently training (although he really sounds like he’s…..doing another kind of activity), leaning against the wall. “Hey Ryu, I have a hypothetical.”
He grins, stopping whatever he was doing to pay attention to you. “Let’s hear it.”
“Do you ever wish you were more athletic?”
Shidou’s smile fades, caught off guard. “Huh? Is the training I’m doing not telling you anything about me?”
“Not really. From the kitchen it kinda sounds like you’re having mind-blowing sex. Anyways, do you wish you were more athletic?”
“Bruh, I am athletic. I am very athletic thank you very much,” he chugs a fat sip of water before doing a set of pushups. “See, athletic.”
“Hmmmmmmm,” You press a finger to your mouth, tapping it while you think. “Didn’t you say you wanted to have a ‘Sae-level’ ass by the end of this month? I’m not seeing any progress, so that must mean you’re not being athletic enough.”
“Ouch,” he winced in faux hurt. “Don’t diss the glutes, ‘kay? I’ll get a glorious bubble butt eventually. Not everyone is blessed with an amazing ass. Some people just have to work harder for it. Like me.”
“Psh, you’re just making excuses.”
“No I’m not. You’re distracting me.” Shidou points an accusatory finger at you, “maybe you’re the reason I’m not being athletic. Have you ever thought about that? Now shoo, shoo~”
You just laugh, waving him goodbye and going back to whatever you were doing.
