#roleplay:message

[xm-wufan]

{/he’s still digging through his room trying to find the kitten or cat or whatever the hell is making that horrible scretching, when his phone vibrates in response)

Tox ya mother fucker {/he growls out as he reads through the reply. of course it had to have been something like that. and of course it had to involve a certain terrorist)

{sms} what the acTUAL FUCK MAN!

{sms} why the hell do u even have a prerecorded cat yowl??!!!

{/he huffs out doing his best to control his anger with the damned yowling still trying to push him over the edge of sanity)

{sms} if u don’t want every plant in every fish bowl drained ur ass better tell me where the hell it is!

[xm-leeminki]

{/starting to make his way back to the brotherhood portal in heukyang he has to keep from practically cackling to himself}

[sms]:Because reasons! cat yowls are annoying as fuck! And! And! A certain incident where my peppermint patties were fucking replaced with chocolate covered toothpaste requires retaliation!!! I KNOW IT WAS YOU BEACH TRASH!!! NOBODY ELSE KNEW!

{/stepping through the portal he starts to make his way over to the damn guards room, only half remembering what exactly he had done a few days back before typing a hasty response as his precious plants are threatened}

[sms]: THEY ARENT FISH BOWLS THEY ARE TERRARIUMS!!!!!! AND YOU WOULDNT FUCKING DARE!!! ME LAS PAGARAS TODITAS PINCHE BASURA DEL MAR!!!!!

{/kicking the door tox practically makes the shittiest entrance before the yowls reach his hears and hes making various hand gestures}  Fuck, that’s louder than i remember. And!  And! Before you go fucking touching my plants! I may or may not have forgotten where exactly i places said recording......but! it is in the ugliest stuffed animal i could find. You havent notices an addition among the others have you?

[xm-leeminki]

{sms} be warned, if u're not on base, there is a cat yowling somewhere {sms} cant find it {sms} it's been three hours man. {sms} THREE HOURS!

{/hearing his phone go off he stops beating up the poor sap who had the bad luck of talking shit on his attitude, grabbing his phone mid kick before pressing away at his phone}

[sms]: What???? Did you finally fucking lose it?? All that fucking sea water gone to that beach trash head of yours?

{/thinking a few days back he gives the loser on the ground one last kick before walking off, remembering his little stunt he had pulled a while back as he snickers to himself}

[sms]: ACTUALLY! now that you mention it……that cat isnt a cat. It may..or may not! Be a prerecorded cat yowel on loop hidden somewhere in your room…..

[sms]: That I may or may not have forgotten about and accidentally turned on somehow…..YOU CANT PROVE ANYTHING!!!

[xm-leeminki]

{sms} bite your thumb? at me sir? do not bite your thumb at me sir! {sms} but if you do, i am for you, better thou not stir one foot to seek a foe {sms} instead let us keep the peace {sms} and fear not my beloved friend there shall be no assaulting of anyone in ways they do not want ;D

{/tries not to throw his phone because Mercutio would fucking be an expert when to comes to Shakespearean speak and having to use outside sources in order to keep up is too much of a hassle}

{sms}: I shall bite my thumb at you whenever the fuck I feel like it!! {sms}: Annnnndddd attention to detail towards Shakespearean speak is ending…..now! {sms}: Very well then I shall fear not, though I shall try to refrain from further lengthening my rapsheet and I will partake in the consumption in beverages that will harm my liver! {sms}: To which building that serves alcoholic beverages to travelers shall I be headed towards then?

{/grabs his jacket and starts to make his way out, hopefully whatever shady place they went to wasn’t all that crowded or all that Shakespearean speak was worth jack shit if he ended up pissed off at a crowded bar}

[xm-leeminki]

{sms} hey dude long time no see! {sms} how you've been man! {sms} any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?

{/lifts his head up from the edge of his bed when he hears his phone go off, reading the message upside down with a grin reading the name on  the screen}

{sms}: Ah Mercutio! To what do I owe the pleasure????? {sms}: I have been well but I shall bite my thumb at you if you think I shall partake in the smacking around of 19yr olds at a place where alcohol is served!! {sms}: Aggravated assault is something I’d rather avoid on my rap sheet, seems rather dull.

{/snickers to himself because the only time he gets to use shitty Shakespearean jokes is when Mercutio decides he wants to talk to him and how is he going to pass up such an opportunity}