#rollerderbyreferee

[chopsaw]

Just Dylan just snackin’ at #sweatfest #justpizza #rollerderbyreferee (at UNO Lakefront Arena)

[professorx-blades]

First real derby injury. Sprained my knee pretty bad. But still had a great trip. Looks like I’m going to be a NSO for a bit. Also big shout out to the cats for all their help. #rollerderby #rollerderbyreferee #rollerderbyinjury #catsareassholes

[drewedecimaul]

Learning to enjoy reffing

I started reffing just over a year ago. I didn’t get into roller derby with the intention of reffing, and I didn’t enjoy it for a very long time.

So then, why did I start it? Basically, I’d been skating for a while with the league I was with at the time and laps were the only thing keeping me back from participating fully with the big girls. The lovely refs saw I was reasonably rules-savvy and invited me to start reffing to get some more skate time in. I think I was so touched by their invite that I cried. I kept up training to be a ref and also training to be a skater for a long time. I wasn’t particularly good at either.

In reality, reffing made me feel horrible for a very long time. I’ve never second guessed myself so much in my life. Looking at what’s in front of you is HARD, and it took a long time to actually start to SEE what was right in front of me. It took several months before I called a single penalty. And several months more before I started calling anything that wasn’t a cut. Those first months were awful. So much doubt, so much bringing myself down. So much pressure from myself, and from skaters caught in the heat of the moment on the track. Being a baby zebra is hard.

But I stuck at it. Out of stubbornness, mostly. Gradually my training to play the game took a back seat as I got more and more anxious about not being good enough. I got caught in a cycle of avoiding training through anxiety, and then being even more anxious because I was avoiding training. It was a poisonous loop for me, and I had to escape it. And I’ll tell you what, I feel SO much better for having chosen to focus just on reffing for now. It’s still one of my goals to play in at least a cherry popper some time, but right now is not the right time for me, and I am okay with that.

So anyway, REFFING. It is only in the last couple of months that I’ve really started to finally “get” it. I’m growing more and more confident with each session. I’m calling a range of different penalties, seeing more, understanding more, just generally getting the hang of it more. I’ve even head reffed a few scrims and taken on the pack definition role. If you’d asked me to do that more than a couple of months ago I would’ve laughed in your face and probably thrown up. But I’ve enjoyed the challenge. I’ve made mistakes, of course, but I think I’ve done an alright job for someone so new to it. And just the fact that I can say that loud and genuinely mean it shows so so much personal growth.

So there we have it. After many months of stressing out, I no longer get nervous, no longer hate myself, no longer hate reffing. I’m really, really enjoying myself. I love the officials community, you really feel a part of something no matter where you go and who you're reffing with.

To any baby refs reading this, my message is don’t give up. Your journey will take how ever long it takes, you’ll feel shit about yourself for a while. But apparently persistence is key. Who knew?!

[drewedecimaul]

More reffing

Reffed at a home league scrim today. Still didn't make any calls. Again there was a specific moment where I probably should have called a cut but didn't. Again kicking myself. On the plus side, I did spot a bunch of penalties but refs that were closer to the actions made the calls. Happy that I saw them though. Also I did some out of play calls and my zebramom said she was impressed by how shouty I was. So that's a thing. And it was my league's first time seeing me in stripes and I got some compliments :-)

[drewedecimaul]

Got my first proper ref shirt to celebrate my recent decision to go full-time zebra for the time being :-) Now to up my game so I feel like I actually deserve to wear it!