I need some voltron hospital headcanons
• To be better prepared for any emergencies requiring his attention, Coran has set up residence in the hospital basement and has since been declared Altea’s official cryptid. Everyone knows he’s there of course, but Allura has chosen to turn a blind eye and simply ignore the many times she’ll be working a late shift in her office and spot Coran walk by in footie pajamas with curlers in his mustache.
• Pidge: “Oh, screw beautiful. I’m brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain.”
• Allura, lying on top of her desk and eating a meatball sub: “I think…I should repaint every ceiling in the entire hospital lime green and see how long it takes before someone notices. And whoever finds out first gets a free bobble head shaped like Bob Ross.” Romelle, already on one knee: “Please marry me I beg of you.”
• Romelle, to Keith and Pidge: “Hey, did anyone ever think you two were a couple?” Pidge: “No, because Keith likes to screw boys like a whore on tequila.” Keith: *shrugs* “It’s true.”
• Adam is the head ophthalmologist and Shiro’s husband. (Friendship ended with Shallura; Shadam is my new best friend) Because ophthalmologists work primarily with eyes, that means he and Shiro get to work together quite often since Shiro’s a neurosurgeon.
• Because rings get in the way of surgical gloves, they wear their wedding rings on necklaces instead. (Mostly just because every time someone asks about it, Shiro gets to say, “Yeah, my husband and I wear our wedding rings like this because both I and my lovely husband are surgeons. Yup, I have a husband and he’s wonderful. You should be very jealous.”)
• Adam: “Yeah, you could say Keith and my husband are close. They sometimes have sleepovers, in my bed, with me in it.”
• (Obviously they spend the whole time talking about Lance because Keith needs someone to scream to every time Lance so much as smiles at him.)
• Adam, who is Exhausted: “Can you both please just go to sleep?” Keith, from under the blanket fort he and Shiro built: “BUT LANCE TOUCHED MY ARM TWICE TODAY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.”
• Hunk, collapsing in a heap on the floor of the resident’s lounge: “Who here feels like they have no idea what they’re doing?” Everyone: *Raises their hands*
• Lotor used to be a surgical resident with the paladins, but he was fired for throwing a scalpel at Lance because he performed a practice procedure better than him. Needless to say, Allura got him out of there quick.
• Matt lives in a trailer in the woods behind the hospital, that way he can just walk home from work whenever he wants. It’s not rare for him to go there after a long day only to find all his friends already there, having broken in and are now sitting around drinking all his Capri-suns.
• Lance and Hunk are at Chuck E Cheese when someone starts choking. Person: “Is anyone a doctor here?” Lance, looking around completely clueless: “Man, I sure hope someone here is a doctor.” Hunk: “……….bruh.”
• Pidge, after Keith comes to her in a panic and says he needs her help: “What is it, are you planning a murder? A nuclear attack? It’s fine, I’ll get on board. I’m sure you have a good reason for it.”
• Hunk and Shay have a secret stash of cupcakes they keep in one of the supplies closets that they celebrate with every time they have a successful surgery. It’s like their own private ritual at this point.
• Intern: “You’re the brother of Dr. Takashi Shirogane?? You’re so lucky, we call him McDreamy because of how hot he is.” Keith: “Are…Are you serious? My brother is a garbage person and proud of it. He sits on the couch and eats cheese doodles while watching Gossip Girl all day.”