bro, i know all the secrets of this universe

Jupiter, 26, they/any | going insane | i look through random ass fandom tags a lot and you’re going to have to live with that | if you want me to tag certain things just ask | tagging dgs2 spoilers, reblog bait, and us politics

[jupiter-descending]

my first ever commission! i made these for my friend trav for their twitch subscriber badges! I had so much fun making these :3 go follow him if you recognize any of these bad boys and like livestreams!

[blizz4rd1203]

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

[panicatthecriscodisco]

[lone-pylon]

Ahh what the hell, gimme another unnamed layer! I ain't driving!

[podcastwizard]

i don’t know how many people on tumblr know about “verticals” - they’re cheaply made soap operas that are filmed vertically so you can watch them on your phone. they’re infamous in the acting world because of the poor writing and nonsensical plots - almost always has something to do with a mafia boss or a vampire or a werewolf - and they always have insane titles like “pregnant with the ceo’s baby” or “forced to marry the alpha king.” i come across tons of them on casting websites and they all have wild titles and descriptions but none of them, None of Them, have truly grabbed me like the title i saw today:

Dr. Fangs: He Prescribes Bites

[podcastwizard]

answering some questions i’ve seen:

1. yes, real people work on these

2. some of the scripts might be ai generated but a lot of them are poorly translated in to english from other languages (china and russia are really big in to verticals) or just written in like an afternoon by someone with no will to live

3. shockingly you get paid really well for these, like way more than nonunion standard, which is why a lot of actors flock to them

4. they’re typically hosted on tiktok or apps specifically designed for hosting verticals

5. as far as i am aware, dr. fangs does not prescribe mouse bites

[the-haiku-bot]

5. as far as i

am aware, dr. fangs does

not prescribe mouse bites

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[simena]

Svetlin Sofroniev

[treasuredplanet]

in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[soppsop]

immediately refreshing the dash HOW ARE WE FEELING GAMERS

[the-haiku-bot]

immediately

refreshing the dash HOW ARE

WE FEELING GAMERS

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

i am at a complete loss as to how to adequately express to you how much this cat throws up yeah

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from hotTubSharts reading: and then maybe she'll wake you again at 6 to the sound of her puking on the floor. maybe /End ID]

[miamaimania]

“Cows Up High” ~ Maharashtra, India ◆ They know where the ridge goes; we don’t

[stuckinapril]

“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[dailycatsblog]

[i-said-im-a-fucking-star]

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

[grfld45]

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

[juggsjudyofficial]

My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.

[ozzenstach]

[judgejudyofficial]

you either deactivate young or live long enough to see a mirror dimension version of your account kill indiscriminately on the dashboard

[grfld54]

Imagine how I feel

[saturnialsapphic]

[catnippackets]

new The Backmaker update! (200th page wooo!)

[gloriousmonsters]

when you're feeling full hater mode about a piece of media but you know one of your beloved mutuals enjoys it