#romanceblogging

[caprifoliumdash]

Studying for book 3 of a linked romance series by searching the name of the love interest in the previous two books (where he was a side character), so I can fully appreciate his character development

[moved2anotherplace12345]

Immunity 🤝 Pang

narrating my emotional state

[moved2anotherplace12345]

you may all be debating lesbian politics but I am the dummy who fell in love with a white queer who was too emotionally unavailable to reciprocate anything beyond baseline affection without sarcasm we are not same.

[moved2anotherplace12345]

just had the first conversation with her over text that I actually like, was at ease in and also had fun in. thank fucking god. savoring the fucking moment.

[moved2anotherplace12345]

state of mind is deciding whether I wanna go Ocean of Tears or I Give Up.

[moved2anotherplace12345]

already knew I get really sentimental and sappy, and now that I've gone full on romantic I'm like damn I really live like this. I get so into grand gestures and making an effort and I want that too! but I'm doing these things with a woman whose response to all of this I honestly get really down about. I'm definitely not getting unabashed enthusiasm in response. and I'm sad about that.

I'm also really scared and embarrassed all the time, and lonely. I teeter totter between wondering if I wanna act on (A) my knowledge that I've historically zeroed in on possible future catastrophes to sever intimacy before it could happen, or (B) my faith in a growing relationship.

the way I've blasted into reworking my whole life in part because I knew I'd get wrecked deep diving into romance. this is all I fucking think about, all the time. when I think about other shit I am also thinking about this. also sad as fuck because I get so preoccupied with thinking about this relationship that I'm distancing myself from her and everybody else because I don't want to swallow people up with talking about how fucked I feel all the time.

[hosekisama]

[@falenas108 and I watching Deep Space Nine. A scene in which Garak is giving Bashir grief for not appreciating a classic of Cardassian literature.]

Me: This reminds me of us.

[Bashir complains that the literature in question is long and repetitive, and furthermore he didn’t care about any of the characters. Garak calls him uncultured.]

Him: Yup, still us.

[lesbiandeancas]

Our six month "anniversary" was so nice!!! The B&B was beautiful, the innkeeper was so funny and nice, there was a beautiful claw foot tub in our bathroom and everything was just so adorable. Carly was so sweet like always and even though we got a late start (so we didn't go ice skating) it was still a great night. We had been meaning to see a comedy show together, and it just happened to be comedy night at our usual karaoke spot (they had karaoke, too, just later) and we stopped at the gay bar across the street as well Breakfast was soo delicious, they made it special for us cos we are both vegetarians, and there was another gay couple (two older men) at the breakfast table when we got there so we chatted with them a bit. It was really special, I can't describe it really it was just great I love Carly so much she makes me so happy :) Shout out to autisticmerrill for being an awesome gf!! Love you babe!!