I have known and dated this woman for four and a half years. She told me she was trans the moment we met. My progress with coaxing her out of the closet at some point surpassed the "patience and grace" event horizon and is now more so me trying to drag her out kicking and screaming.
i love it when people refer to me by my username. they dont call me hugh or romeo or anything like. oh yeah thats shingetsu online. hi shingetsu online. shingetsu online please stop. its so funny to me....
Noah Fucking Fence but its kinda been a hella shitty day between the news of everyone in my class voting for different boy and girl colors when im not out yet followed up immediately after with my math teacher telling everyone the new safety systems being put up and how its extremely likely everyone in the states will have to come to terms with a an active intruder/gun man
I hope someone else understands this, but I grew up on tumblr and have a schizospec disorder with pretty bad verbal disorganized speech. And that shit is the definition of a core decision that led to person I am today. Etymologist fever dream. I speak in the most fuckass metaphors you've ever heard.
Weird time in my life to learn that the book my parents tried to strong arm me into reading since I was 8 and never shut the fuck up about til I ran away at 20 was a mass-sold-to-business "novel" about how I should just accept being an eternal lab rat for the rest of my life.
(Context and trauma below, for the old IBCK fans seeing this Sorry???)
I discovered the podcast If Books Could Kill through a tumblr I follow, and I found their episode on "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson and the same book I'm referencing in the above paragraph. I never knew anything about it before a few minutes ago other than my parents were CONVINCED I needed to read it because it would help me stop being so hard headed and stubborn.
So uh, learning in the first three minutes that it was a demonic book commonly given/recommended to people by the worlds shittiest bosses about how you are an eternal lab rat who needs to submit to your fate is definitely something.
I know my parents were abusive but it's always been difficult for me to ever remember the full extent, plurality and all, but also because my trauma was interlaced with people refusing to ever listen to me or believe I had any right to complain because my parents were rich. So like, I genuinely DID NOT realize how even the stuff I DO know happened is already like super duper fucked up alone. Because until a few months ago, I was still dealing with people seeing the money of my parents first when I talked about my childhood and it's really messed me up since I may have been "used" by my father to make that money when I was young. I don't have a lot of clear memories of those yet and would rather not honestly. I'd rather live in ignorance with that one.
Either way, having another clear cut piece of evidence of the levels of cartoonishly evil shit they had accomplished raising me is always... helpful? I don't really know. I'm contemplating finishing this podcast and leaving it, or maybe getting my own second hand copy of the book and going through it on my own. Its crazy short so I should be fine. I think I might do both honestly. Treat this podcast as a brace for impact briefing of the whole text.
