#ross rosenberg

[jerseydeanne]

Covert Narcissist

Ross Rosenberg

 In this video, I explain the very complicated and dangerous undertaking of protecting yourself when you uncover/unmask a covert narcissist and the dysfunctional relationship they trick you into. Because of their manipulative nature and the fact that they are often respected and even adored by others, taking them on directly is big mistake. Ross Rosenberg’s latest book, The Human…

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[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Covert narcissism is insidious, confusing, and difficult to recognize. I didn’t suspect I was experiencing my beloved person as a narcissist until I had been in the friendship for 15 months. At that point I said to myself, “This feels like narcissism, but I know she’s not a narcissist.”

My familiarity at that point had been with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and malignant narcissism. I didn’t experience her that way at all, yet I was experiencing the relationship as if she was narcissistic. That remained a confusion and curiosity for 5 additional months until my first recognizable experience with devaluation and discard.

When that happened, I was confused and very sad. During her withdrawal from the friendship, I started reading about personality disorders and discovered there are many forms of narcissism. At the time, I believed hers was below the veil of consciousness and an effect of her mental illness. I still believe that is the case. In my reading, I recognized my own codependency in the relationship. I am grateful that her treatment of me lead me to this profound awareness. Through the revelation, I found many of the resources that have made an impact on my journey recovering from codependency and trauma.

She apologized for that discard and repaired our relationship. I remained friends with her for 8 more months, defining and redefining my boundaries, until it seems she felt threatened by them and/or abandoned. When devaluation and discard happened again, more dramatically, I knew then that our relationship, which had been absolutely precious to me, was done for this lifetime. My self esteem was low throughout the relationship, but not low enough for me to tolerate being insulted, demeaned, and cut off at the knees.

The psychotherapist in this video offers a succinct explanation of an experience that resembles the one I had. I’m grateful for the inner knowing to cease contact and block avenues for future contact. I had actually prepared a checklist in advance, in the event that No Contact became necessary.

My deep grief for the loss of the friendship is done, but I continue to process the experience. My anger has passed, and I feel only love and light for her. I’ll always keep her in my heart with gratitude, and I hope for her dreams to come true.

I do not and never have considered myself a victim in this experience. These years have been the most challenging and painful of my life, so far, but all the while I’ve held on to a knowing that this has been preparing me for something else. Whatever that may be, my ears are awake and my eyes are open to it all. I’m looking forward to the new year ahead.

[dein-wille-geschehe]

By Ross Rosenberg

[rossrosenberg]

The Codependent/Narcissist Dance: The Perfect Partnership. Revised Essay. Expert

Ross Rosenberg's rewrite of his groundbreaking essay, Codependency Don't Dance. Describes the narcissist codependent attraction - The Human Magnet Syndrome

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Parts 2 & 3:

https://youtu.be/3bfKLJ5YGyQ

https://youtu.be/ms0Xzq0jrpg

[maninsun]

Ross Rosenberg explains the very complicated and dangerous undertaking of protecting yourself when you uncover/unmask a covert narcissist. Because of their manipulative nature and the fact that they are often respected and even adored by others, taking them on directly is big mistake.

[mastercontrol]

Self-love is at the core of all psychologically healthy people.

Ross Rosenberg

[luzslifepath]

Obserb not Absorb

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” George Bernard Shaw. The only way to win the narcissist game is not to play at all. They know better how to manipulate in the arena of conflict and despair. The codependent all humans with a heart have to learn when the manipulator gets us to that world we will only ingest toxins and we will get sick and lose emotional control. The sense of self care disappears for the fight flight mode, we only want to balance the impossible. So we have to ARTIFICIALLY detach from the narcissist, only observing but not absorbing, not participating. Conscious dissociation, helps to neutralize the power they may develop over us. Don't let get into our skin. Watch and listen, DON'T react. The more they see them the more we can step outside from the reaction mode. What they are doing to get the reaction from us? The more we can answer this question the more we can take control of the situation. If we absorb we fall prey and they eat us alive. Never react emotionally. Your emotion is food, your pain is desert...