Request summary: You're John B's Cousin and you visited the OBX every summer for years as a kid, becoming especially close with JJ to the point where you jokingly became fake boyfriend and girlfriend. When you move across the world for five years, it absolutely destroys him. But suddenly you and your mom move back to NC, to the OBX, and you both realize that your feelings for each other never left.
Warnings: Small mention of JJ's abuse, alcohol consumption
Word Count: 4k
A/N: Been working on this story forever months for one of my favorite people on here! I have almost all of it written and will be posting new parts every day/every other day. Hope ya'll like it🩷
Masterlist
Divider by @daggersanddressesextras
Summer was JJ's favorite time of the year, but you were JJ's favorite part of summer.
Not surfing or fishing or raising hell with the other Pogues. It was when your mom would bring you down from Durham, NC, where she taught at Duke, to stay in a little rental house near Figure Eight while she visited family.
Sometimes she would even leave you for a while and you'd stay at the Chateau with your cousin, John B and his dad, Big John.
Every summer, the second JJ heard your mom's car or your bike tires crunching down the driveway toward the Chateau, he'd practically launch himself off the porch.
At seven years old, he was loud and reckless as always. Always down to do anything and everything.
His main goal in life was to have a good time all the time and, coincidentally, so was yours.
You matched each other perfectly.
You were the only kid who never got scared when he climbed too high into trees or jumped off the end of piers that were dangerously tall.
The only one who'd follow him into the marsh barefoot and get mud all over your legs and scrapes on your feet.
You'd laugh instead of tattle when he stole candy bars from the gas station. Especially when he stole them for you and called himself a provider.
So naturally, the two of you became boyfriend and girlfriend.
Not actually. Just in the silly but also very serious way seven year olds do.
Every time you arrived at Kildaire, JJ would dramatically reunite with you like he'd returned from war, usually by tackling you into the grass and yelling "BABY, YOU CAME BACK TO ME!"
"You're literally so annoying," you'd laugh while pretending to try to shove him off.
But secretly, you loved it. A lot.
"You gotta hold my hand," you informed him one afternoon while the two of you sat on a dock watching tiny crabs run around in the mud underneath.
JJ squinted at you suspiciously. "Why?"
"Because that's what boyfriends do."
"Oh." He considered this deeply before immediately grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers in the messiest way possible. "Okay."
You nodded like this was a completely normal contractual agreement. "Alsoooo... you have to say I'm pretty."
JJ rolled his eyes, ears turning pink. "You're pretty."
You giggled at this, batting your lashes up at him a little. "Why thank you, Jayj. You mean it?"
"Yeah, I mean it," he grumbled, shoving your shoulder while you giggled harder. But he did mean it. You were the prettiest girl in the world to him.
"Anddd…”
He groaned quietly. "Anddd what?”
"You gotta bring me flowers sometimes.”
"Flowers? Where the hell am I supposed to get you flowers?”
You shrugged. "I dunno. Pretty sure, that's a boyfriend's job to figure out.”
And he did figure it out. And whether they were stolen from some Kook's yard or weeds he picked from the side of the road, as soon as he shoved them into your chest or held them out to you aggressively without making eye contact, feeling absolutely ridiculous, the way you'd thank him and tell them how beautiful they were made his heart swell every single time.
So he kept doing it. Any time he saw something you might like. Even if it meant doing some serious trespassing.
He even almost crashed his bike as he zoomed by a particularly large peony, before nearly crashing again while trying to escape the very angry Kook lady who ran out the door the second she saw him take it.
This game between the two of you became all the Pogue's favorite source of entertainment.
JJ carried your flipflops for you because "boyfriends are supposed to."
You leaned your head on his shoulder during movies because "girlfriends can." ...Which he definitely didn't complain about.
You made him flower crowns from weeds and forced him to wear them while Pope and John B teased him nonstop. But he didn't dare take them off, especially after you called him the 'king of the marsh.'
You gave him a shark tooth necklace that you'd bought with your allowance and made him a bracelet out of white, brown and orange string and he acted like they were the best things in the world– which they really were, because they were from you.
He never took them off, even after you'd go home.
One time, you kissed him on the cheek before running away down the beach to Kiara in a full on giggle fit, and he stood there frozen for so long John B had to wave a hand in front of his face.
"Dude," John B said slowly, "Are you ok? You still with us? I think your brain broke."
JJ didn't say anything, just took off and chased you down the shoreline afterward, tackling you into the sand while both of you shrieked with laughter.
A few days later, after a bad encounter with his dad that left him with a bruised cheekbone, he held your hand until you stopped crying for him and the two of you laid in the hammock planning your "future."
A future mostly consisted of living on a boat, traveling the world and eating popsicles and mac n cheese for every meal.
Another day, you talked about what your wedding would be like.
"Can it be at the beach?" he asked while the two of you gathered driftwood for your fort in the woods by the boneyard. "And no shoes allowed?"
You giggled. "Duh."
"Sweeeeet. Because after we dance and whatever, I definitely wanna fish."
"You can't fish at our wedding," you told him sternly.
JJ frowned. "Why not?"
"Because you're the groom. And we have to hang out."
"What's a groom?"
You sighed dramatically. "The guy getting married."
"Oh." He thought about it for a second. "Can John B fish then?"
"No."
"That's stupid."
"You're stupid."
He smirked in that way that annoyed you and made you blush at the same time. "Mmhm, you still want me to be your groom though."
You shoved him hard enough he nearly tipped backward into the tidepool beside you, soaking his boots and socks.
It was all childish and silly and harmless, except JJ never really stopped wanting it to be real. Even when you got older and you both began to joke about it a little less seriously.
He still saved you a seat next to him on the boat. Or noticed when you put lip gloss on or wore the perfume he stole for you, or did your hair different.
He never stopped telling you that you looked pretty even if he had to follow it up with some sort of teasing afterwards, such as calling you "Shrimp" because you were shorter than him.
He got even more weirdly protective when other boys talked to you.
In fact, he absolutely hated when other boys talked to you. Became irrationally annoyed to the point where he'd get quiet and unable to focus on anything but watching the way you reacted to what whoever it was was saying.
And the pogues noticed every single time, because they knew JJ liked you without a doubt.
Bad.
One night, at thirteen, it was two days before you had to go home and JJ was in a foul mood about it as he sat on the dock, mindlessly staring at his fishing line and wishing that you were there that night instead of out to dinner with your mom and her friends.
"Just tell her," Pope said as he baited his hook.
JJ scoffed. "I don't have a crush on her, dude."
Pope grinned. "It's so obvious."
Kiara elbowed him gently. "And she so likes you back, so it's fine. Pope's right, JJ, just tell her."
"Shut up. No it's not. And no she doesn't."
You definitely did. Just as bad.
"You have a cruuush," John B sang, reeling in his line and reaching for the bag of shrimp.
JJ shoved him right off the dock.
But he couldn't deny it, because when you smiled at him, his stomach felt weird in a way no other girl had made him feel before.
Because when you hugged him goodbye every August, he counted down the days until next summer.
Because no matter how many girls existed in the OBX—in the WORLD—none of them were you and they never would be.
The next day, you and JJ sat crosslegged in your driftwood fort, surrounded by crumpled candy wrappers while he dug through the endless pockets of his cargo shorts.
"Dude," you laughed as he produced another handful of candy bars and threw them in front of you. "How many pockets do those shorts have?"
JJ grinned proudly. "Enough."
"You're actually insane, Jayj."
"I'm a provider," he corrected seriously, tossing you a pack of sour gummy worms. "Boyfriend duties."
You smiled automatically at that, peeling open the package. "You're the best fake boyfriend ever."
He laughed softly, but something in his chest sank a little at the word fake. Still, he covered it quickly with a grin. "Damn right."
The two of you ate quietly for a minute, both immediately thinking about the same thing: About how you had to leave tomorrow.
You sighed, leaning your head back against a piece of wood. "I don't wanna go home. I wish I lived here."
He looked over immediately. "Yeah?"
"This was seriously the best summer ever."
JJ smiled at that, heart squeezing for multiple reasons now. "It was pretty sick." He popped a piece of candy into his mouth. "And next summer'll be even better. I'll make sure next year it's the funnest one yet."
"Funnest isn't a word." You bumped your shoulder against his. "But I can't wait. Seriously."
He smiled harder. "Me neither."
The two of you went quiet again after that.
JJ handed you another chocolate. You took it, set it down and picked up another piece from your pile.
"Want a kiss?"
He turned so fast he nearly choked. "Huh?"
You blinked at him innocently. "A kiss?"
"Wait… really?"
Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion before realization hit you, then you burst into laughter, cheeks going bright pink. "Oh my god, JJ."
He looked confused. "What??"
You held up a Hershey's Kiss. "I meant the candy!"
JJ groaned, covering his face, which was now even pinker than yours, while you laughed harder.
"You thought—"
"I know what I thought!"
"You looked so scared!"
"I was not scared."
He was scared. And a lot of other things.
"Yuh huh you were!"
He snatched the chocolate from your hand. "Shut up."
You giggled uncontrollably while he unwrapped it aggressively and shoved it into his mouth.
JJ tried not to smile too as he chewed, but he couldn't even help it.
"Have you ever actually kissed anybody?" you asked suddenly, a little quieter.
He looked over at you and shook his head. "Nah."
Which was true. Girls had tried before, but every time, something about it felt wrong, like it wasn't supposed to be them. Like he'd be cheating on you even if your relationship was "fake."
"What about you?" he asked, also nervous of the answer.
You shook your head. "No."
The corner of his lips tugged up a bit in relief.
You began balling up a tinfoil wrapper in your lap absentmindedly. "I kinda wanna know what it's like though."
"Yeah?" he said quietly, trying to sound normal.
"Mhm."
He swallowed. "Is there somebody back home you wanna kiss or something?"
You shrugged and your eyes flicked up at him for a second. "Not really."
His stomach twisted. "Not really?"
You laughed softly. "No. There's not anybody."
Relief filled him again.
You were quiet for another second, then you looked over at him, then down, then back over him again, nerves filling your belly.
"I mean… you're kinda my fake boyfriend so... maybe…" you started, then stopped yourself, shaking your head. "Nevermind."
JJ looked over, sitting up straighter instantly, wondering if you were really gonna say what he thought you were.
There was no way.
"No. What? Say it."
You laughed nervously. "Nothing, JJ!"
"What were you gonna say?"
"Nothingggguh."
"You were definitely gonna say something. Now I need to know."
"You'll make fun of me."
"No I won't."
"Yes you will."
"I swear I won't. What is it?"
You hesitated then huffed out a laugh. "I was gonna say maybe… since you're my fake boyfriend and all, that we could maybe... fake kiss?"
JJ just stared at you, heart suddenly pounding so hard he was pretty sure it was echoing in the fort.
You looked equally nervous suddenly. "But we don't have to! I was kidding. Ha ha! Gotcha!"
"You want me to be your first kiss?" he asked carefully.
"I mean… uh..." You shrugged, cheeks flushing even more. "I mean… sure. Yeah. Why not?"
You both let out soft, nervous laughs.
"You sure?"
"Well yeah." You smiled shyly. "You're one of my best friends. I don't want my first kiss to be some weirdo."
JJ grinned immediately through his nerves. "You call me a weirdo all the time."
You giggled again. "Yeah, but that's different."
He tried to play it cool even though he had never been so flustered in his entire life. He had imagined this moment a thousand times but he never thought it would actually happen.
"Okay," he said casually, voice cracking a little. "We can fake kiss."
You nodded. "Okay. Okay, sweet. Let's do it, then."
Neither of you moved at first, then awkwardly, slowly, you scooted closer together.
"Sooo... how do we do this?" you whispered.
"I dunno, I guess we just do it," JJ whispered back, eyes flicking to your lips. "You've literally never seen a movie?"
You dissolved into nervous laughter again.
JJ smiled helplessly at you for a second before finally leaning in. You followed his lead and met him halfway, lips pressing together gently.
The kiss was soft and stiff and lasted maybe three seconds, but still, butterflies exploded through both of you instantaneously.
When you pulled apart, you stared at each other wide eyed.
"That was weird," you both said at once, smiling a little stunned and lopsided before bursting into laughter immediately afterward.
"You taste like chocolate," he mumbled, smiling embarrassingly hard.
You stared at the ground, unable to look at him now. "You do too."
He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to do with himself now. "It was literally a Hershey's Kiss."
You snort. "Literally."
Neither of you stopped smiling.
JJ looked at you for another long second. At your pink cheeks and the way you brushed messy hair behind your ear. Then he flopped dramatically backward into the dirt when he couldn't handle looking at you anymore. "Well. Guess we're basically adults now."
You snorted, lying down beside him. "Maybe I am. You have ways to go, Maybank. Waysss."
He snorted and began the countdown to next summer in his head immediately.
You both walked back to the Chateau after a few minutes and spent the rest of the day trying not to look at each other, because if you did, it was impossible to not feel like your chests were gonna actually explode.
The pogues called you both out on it, saying that you were acting weird when you'd look at each other and burst into quiet giggles, but JJ would just say it was an inside joke and that they wouldn't get it... which made you smile even harder.
The smiles were wiped clean off your faces later that night when you saw your mom's car rolling up the driveway to take you back to the rental.
You hugged Kiara first, then Pope, then John B. Then you turned to JJ.
For once, neither of you immediately joked around like you usually would when you said goodbye. He just shoved his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and looked at you like a kicked puppy.
"You better come back next summer," he mumbled.
You smiled softly even though your heart ached too. "I will. Why wouldn't I?"
JJ nodded once before taking his hands out of his pockets. Then he grinned crookedly. "Okay, cool, well see ya next year, Shrimp."
You rolled your eyes before stepping forward and hugging him tight.
JJ hugged you back immediately, even tighter. Way too long.
Neither of you wanted to let go.
Then your mom honked lightly from the car, smiling a little too knowingly.
You pulled away. "Bye, Jayj."
"Bye, wifey. Til next year."
You giggled and gave him a little lazy salute. "Til next year."
You climbed into the car and JJ stood in the driveway with the other pogues, watching until you disappeared down the road completely, still tasting chocolate if he thought about it hard enough.
He spent every single day until the next summer thinking about that kiss, replaying it over and over and over and over and over.
And he also listened to Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean over and over and over.
He hoped and prayed you weren't kissing anybody else and that you thought about it too.
You, in fact, were not kissing anybody else. And you did think about it. Every single day.
He made up endless scenarios in his mind about it happening again and finally decided that he'd stop being such a pussy and that next summer he was gonna tell you.
He had to.
And if, by some miracle, you felt the same way he was going to make enough money to buy you both phones and you would make it work. He'd get his driver's license ASAP and a car and he'd visit you every weekend you weren't in the OBX. Then maybe, if he proved he was good enough for someone as perfect as you, one day you really would have that barefoot beach wedding.
And he wouldn't fish. Wouldn't even think about it. He'd hang out with you the entire time like a good groom is supposed to.
But the next summer, you didn't come back.
At first, JJ thought maybe you were just late. He spent the first week bugging the hell out of John B, asking if he had heard anything about you from his dad.
He tried to act normal about it, but every time a car or bike turned down the road toward the Chateau, he looked up way too fast, heart jumping before sinking again.
By the third week, John B noticed how JJ had been weirdly quiet.
"You okay, man?"
JJ shrugged from where he was sprawled across the hammock. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You've asked where Y/N is a thousand times. And then you mope around when I tell you I have no idea."
"I don't mope."
"You definately do."
"Shut up, JB. I'm fine."
Eventually, John B got the answer from Big John.
"She moved. Like... really far away," he said carefully that evening while the Pogues sat around the firepit.
JJ looked up immediately. "Moved where? How far?"
"Argentina... in South America."
JJ blinked, his heart dropping so hard it actually hurt. "What?"
"Her mom got some teaching job there or something."
Argentina. Not another town or another state... Another country.
"Oh," he said after a second. Then he took another sip of the beer his dad gave him for his birthday and leaned back in his chair like it didn't matter at all.
Everybody exchanged sad looks and nobody called him out on it. But later that night, John B found him sitting alone on the dock long after everyone else went inside.
"You good, bro?"
JJ stared out at nothing, eyes glassy. "Yeah."
"You sure?"
He shrugged again, laughing a little under his breath even though nothing was funny about how he was feeling. "She's just gone, dude."
Just gone. No goodbye. No finding out if his daydreams about her could become reality. No way of contacting her.
Gone.
After that, summers kept happening, as they do.
JJ got older. Girls started looking at him more and he quickly realized exactly what his smile could do to people.
There were plenty of girls who wanted him and of course he gave in eventually, as most teenage boys would, but none of them would ever be you. No kiss would ever feel like or mean as much as the one in the fort you built together.
They tasted like alcohol and smoke instead of chocolate.
They didn't inspire him to do something good with his life or dream about a bright future or give him hope that things could get better.
He wondered if Argentina had beaches or if you were still trying to learn how to surf.
He wondered if you ever thought about that one three second kiss you shared. Or if you even remembered it at all. Thought about him at all.
Still, he never took off that damn shark tooth necklace. Or the bracelet. Or took the old pictures of the two of you out of his nightstand. Or the drawings you gave him or the shells you found just for him.
Or the wrapper of the Hershey's kiss that he snagged off the ground before you left the fort.
Five years later, JJ is eighteen and everybody is at the Chateau other than John B and Big John, who is long gone.
JJ walks out onto the porch shirtless, towel slung over his shoulder, hair damp from the shower he just took.
He lives there now, after his dad left for Yucatan leaving him with absolutely nothing.
Everybody looks at him, suspiciously entertained by something.
"Where's John B?" he asks.
Nobody answers. They just look at each other smiling like a bunch of weirdos.
JJ narrows his eyes as he notices. "Why are you all acting weird?"
"He went to pick something up," Pope says.
Kiara presses her lips together, trying not to laugh at that.
JJ squints at him. "Pick what up?"
"It's a surprise," Kiara replies instantly, smiling way too wide now.
JJ looks between all of them. "What kind of surprise?"
Kiara shrugs. "Can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because then it ruins it."
"What the hell is going on? ...Is it bad?"
"It's not bad," Pope says, laughing.
"You'll probably be happy about it," Kiara adds. "Honestly you might actually lose your mind."
Sarah and Cleo look between each other, extremely excited, having heard plenty of stories about the two of you.
Now JJ's even more confused. "What does that mean? Is it like... a thing? Food? I– what's going on? Come on, give me somethin'. Please."
Nobody answers, they just keep smiling smugly, throughly enjoying every bit of his torture.
"Ok. Ya'll are stressing me the hell out. But whatever." He plops down in lawn chair, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to dry his hair in the afternoon sun like he's not wracking his brain trying to figure out what this "surprise" could even possibly be.
A few minutes later, everybody perks up immediately and JJ's head whips toward the direction of the driveway as they hear the sound of the Twinkie pulling up.
JJ watches suspiciously as John B climbs out of the driver's seat grinning ear to ear.
Then the passenger door opens and a girl steps out.
JJ's brows raise without meaning to and he sits up a little bit.
She's gorgeous. She might possibly be the prettiest girl he's ever seen. And not in a fancy Kook-y way... just absolutely effortlessly beautiful. Even though he can only see her profile.
He doesn't realize that it's you, although there's something weirdly nostalgic about her that he can't quite put his finger on.
What nobody also told him is that you just moved back to NC.
summary: kie drags you to midsummers, jj leaves you with all kinds of feelings, and john b's sudden decision has you both living under ward cameron's roof without a clue of what's to come.
warnings: reader wears a dress, jj lowkey breaks your heart idk, usual obx!
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--
Mike and Anna Carrera were well-respected individuals across Kildare. With their family restaurant, The Wreck, bringing in a healthy amount of Pogues, tourists, and Kooks alike, it was a small bridge on the two sides of the island. Anna Carrera had grown up on Figure Eight and intended for her daughter to do the same; she and her husband worked hard for that lifestyle for their family.
With that being said, they were intimidating as fuck.
As much as she hated it, Kiara Carrera was physically a Kook. That spontaneous, spitfire attitude didn’t just come from a Kook playing Pogue. She had those roots and the drive to back it up. You realized as much as you sat on her bed, watching as Anna Carrera helped pin a flower crown into the girl’s hair.
“This is disgusting,” Kie commented as she looked at herself in the mirror. The light purple color blended beautifully amongst the blooms pinned in, despite how much she detested it.
“I know, it’s horrible. I’m asking you to relax and go to a fun party with your friend.” Anna gave you a small smile, her hands unzipping the dress bag to grab another gown out.
“I look like a bourgeoisie pig,” Kie continued as she turned to face you with a scowl on her face.
You shrugged slightly in response. Although Kiara was strongly against going to Midsummers, you were excited in a way. It had taken a bit of thought, because you were originally adamant about not coming. A chance to dress up in clothes you’d never afford otherwise and the opportunity to eat all you wanted with no consequence for one night? Please. You had all the time in the world to hate Kooks the rest of the year.
“Will you please not worry about socioeconomic injustice for one night? You’re killing the mood.” Anna held out the satin gown from the bag, lightly placing it in your hands. “Kie said this should fit. I hope it’s okay.”
The shock rang in your head at the expensive material between your fingers, and you had to remind yourself to nod. “Ye-yes, wow. Thank you, Mrs. Carrera.”
“It’s Anna, sweetheart. And it’s my pleasure. I don’t think I could’ve gotten Kiara to suffer through it if you hadn’t agreed. Plus, Cassandra and I go way back. I promise she’ll take care of everything.”
You nodded in appreciation, mumbled another thanks before dipping into the bathroom to change. The silky fabric was so smooth and soft under your fingers, it almost felt like it would wash away. Not wanting to make anyone late, you quickly changed and rejoined the mother-daughter duo in the other room.
Kiara’s mom helped with finishing touches and a flower crown of your own before you guys rushed out the door into the waiting SUV, where Mike was in the driver’s seat. The ride over was quick, with chatter and shared stories between the two adults while Kiara tried to not be so negative about the impending event.
The Island Club was pristine upon arrival, and after Mike allowed the valet to take the keys, the four of you made your way through the decorated entrance. Flowers hung off structures, music played somewhere across the lawn, and the smell of food almost made you nauseous with the thought of the options you’d have.
“Here.” Kiara grabbed your hand, tugging you away from her parents without another word, and you swore you heard her mom sigh at the quick departure. You followed the girl without protest, nearly stumbling at the awkwardness of the heels on your feet. You hadn’t worn them in years, which was obvious to anyone watching.
You caught sight of where her destination was shortly after. Pope and his dad were manning a food station between the two of them, various seafood options being prepped. Kie nudged your shoulder.
“Excuse me, sir. Do we have to shuck these ourselves?” She faked an English accent and you almost laughed at how bad it was. Pope turned around in annoyance before realizing who was speaking.
“We would want that now, would we?” A smile formed across his face as he reached out to do a handshake with her. “That accent was bad.”
“I was gonna let it go.”
Pope looked at you, almost with surprise that you were dressed up like everyone else present. “Aren’t you supposed to be working this clown show?”
You nodded, glancing to where Cassandra was bartending. “Kie’s mom worked some magic. I guess Cass’ daughter owes her and is playing me for the night.”
Things with Pope were at a weird in-between. You’d never really talked about what happened at the golf course, so you weren’t sure where everything stood at this point. The air would be cleared eventually, but you didn’t want to do it here, of all places.
“Hey, have you heard from JJ?”
Pope asked the question that didn’t seem to leave your head. Kiara hadn’t given much information regarding what happened with JJ, just that he had been arrested that morning and nobody had seen him since.
The girl next to you shook her head. “No. He’ll be alright. He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach.”
She wasn’t convincing in the slightest.
“It’s all my fault,” He mumbled, hands fumbling for something on the grill. He clearly was upset about the whole thing, especially because he was the one who pulled the plug. You knew better, though. Paired with their conversation the other day, JJ was the one telling Pope it was the right move, hence the reason he would offer to take the fall.
“Your fault that Topper and Rafe almost killed you?” You interjected the conversation, folding your arms across your chest.
The response was interrupted by clapping behind you. Ward Cameron was entering the event, Rose Cameron on his arm, as Sarah and Topper awkwardly trailed behind the two of them.
“Here comes Lord Capital and the Exploiters,” Kie scoffed, her eyes following her ex-best friend as she crossed the porch out of view.
“She’s definitely gonna poke somebody’s eye out with that,” Pope said, referring to the massive spiked crown on Rose’s head.
You weren’t watching the Cameron adults, though. Instead, your gaze was on Sarah and Topper, who looked like they were having another heated conversation. Whatever was going on with the two of them made you nervous, more on Sarah’s part. She clearly wasn’t fully trusting of Topper based on previous conversations.
“I’ll be right back.” You left Kiara and Pope without more of an explanation, your course set on the blonde girl who was angrily leaving the porch to get away from Topper. Rose nearly took you out with her crown when her head turned too fast and you ducked to avoid losing an eye. “Sarah!”
She stopped in her step, a smile growing at the sight of you. “Hey! What are you doing here?” She reached forward and pulled you into an unsuspecting hug.
You welcomed it, regardless. “Kie dragged me, I didn’t even think about you being here, too.”
Sarah smiled. “Yeah, my dad’s being crowned for something, I don’t know. I tried to bail, but it didn’t work out.”
The sun was beginning to dip over the horizon and you took a side step to keep the glare out of your eyes. “Hey, have you heard from John B at all? DCS showed up yesterday, and I haven’t seen him since.”
She opened her mouth to reply and stopped short. You gave her a suspicious look. She sighed, “Yeah, yeah. We um… we went to Chapel Hill together. He wanted to look at documents from Tannyhill, so I got him in the archives.”
You blinked, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that he had gone to the mainland and just didn’t bother to tell you or make sure you were okay first. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”
You shook your head, interrupting her apology. “It’s not your fault, I just didn’t expect that he would leave without telling me, but um… no worries. Did he say where he was going?”
Sarah gave you a sad smile. “No, we separated at the ferry dock and I’ve been home since. I’m so sorry. Look, do you wanna get some food, or-or a drink?”
Glancing back, Kie was no longer near Pope and you didn’t see her anywhere close. You sighed and turned back to Sarah. “Yeah, some food would be nice.”
--
Sarah proved to be good company as the two of you survived your way through the next few hours until the sky turned dark. You’d eaten your fair share of food and even snuck a few drinks behind the adults’ backs if you were careful.
“Going back to the Cut is really gonna suck after being here,” You joked as the two of you danced under the fairy lights that were tangled in overhead greenery.
Sarah laughed, jumping on her feet as the song continued, “Glad you’re enjoying life in my bubble wrap.”
Her sister, Wheezie, twirled her way in between the two of you with a giggle as she nearly collided with Sarah again. You had to give credit; Sarah Cameron was a great sister, and you admired the way she treated the young girl. It made your heart ache for that kind of relationship with your brother, but it was so different for you guys.
“Mind if I squeeze in here?”
Another figure dipped between you and the two siblings, and you stepped back in shock at the familiar blue eyes staring back at you. “JJ?”
He pressed a finger to his lips, one hand reaching out to grab your waist as the other wrapped around your palm. His fingers slid between yours with ease, like it was meant to be there the whole time, and he gently twirled you in his grasp.
When his hand settled on your waist again, you caught sight of the bruising around his face. The worst of it was by his left eye and down his cheekbone. His lip was split and scabbed over, his whole face swollen.
Your lips parted at the scene, right hand moving to just barely brush the injury when he winced. “Sorry,” You whispered, eyes burning at his movement. “Are… are you okay?”
JJ tried to give you a reassuring nod, but you knew better. “Looks worse than it feels, honest. One sec,” He paused to lean an arm against Sarah’s shoulder, pulling the girl’s attention. “I got a, uh, note from Vlad.” He slid a small folded paper into her hand, shushing her surprise before he turned back to you like nothing had happened.
A small smile formed on your face as you watched him with a softness in your eyes that seemed to only be reserved for him. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Didn’t expect to see you here, sunshine,” He teased as the two of you swayed in time with the song. The fabric of your dress was foreign under his hold, and he swore everything around the two of you went silent as he regarded you in this light.
Everything could be so different if you guys were born on the other side of the island. Events like these, things JJ knew you deserved to experience, would be easy. Taking care of you would be easy, and he wouldn’t feel the need to second-guess everything he did. The two of you could explore a relationship together and he’d make sure he wouldn’t mess up.
But things weren’t that easy, and the Cut held more violence, mistakes, and fuck ups in its future; JJ knew that. He didn’t want to risk that with you near.
“Oh, if it isn’t the happy couple.” A hand clamped down on JJ’s shoulder and you hated the fear that filled his eyes just for a split second before he realized who was behind him. Rafe Cameron looked pretty smug to interrupt the small moment between you guys as he tugged JJ out of your grip. “I was wondering if you could get me a mai tai my friend?”
“Fuck off, Rafe.” You pulled JJ’s arm gently, the action landing him closer to you so you were between the two boys. “He’s not bothering anyone, so just leave us alone.”
Rafe looked at you with faux belief. “Oh, not bothering anyone? Okay, okay. Except he’s trespassing on private property and quite frankly, he’s disrupting my night. I’m sure the owners would love to know an employee allowed someone to sneak into the biggest night for the Island Club. We wouldn’t want that, would we?”
People were starting to look over at the three of you, especially at Rafe’s loud tone that carried across the space no thanks to his alcohol consumption. You glanced around, suddenly warm with the attention on you as a security guard approached.
“Is there an issue here?”
“You can’t boot them!” Kiara’s voice ruined any shot at this being handled privately as everyone turned to watch the scene developing before them.
You cursed to yourself as JJ reached over and downed someone’s drink, definitely not helping the situation. The security guard didn’t hesitate to grab onto him, and you moved right when the action got too aggressive. “Let him go!”
“I invited them here, I’m a member of this club.”
JJ whistled, pulling your attention back to him as he reached out for your hand. You took it without question, nearly dodging Rafe’s outburst when he started yelling for security to kick JJ out. The two of you took off running, a smile on your face as you let him guide the way.
“Rixon’s Cover, mandatory power hour. Let’s roll!” He pointed to Pope as the two of you passed by him, Kiara jumping off the porch to follow.
JJ continued to lead you away from the building chaos behind you and it was then you noticed John B waiting near the HMS Pogue that was docked in the water. He seemed unharmed, with fresh clothes and a huge smile on his face at whatever mess JJ had just caused.
“Captain.”
“Mission accomplished, sir.”
The two boys saluted each other and you rolled your eyes. Arms crossed over your chest and a straight disappointment on your face, you waited for John B to turn to you. He winced. “Hi.”
“Hi? DCS shows up, you disappear for almost two days, and your only response is ‘hi’?” You seethed.
John B ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, listen, I promise I’ll explain everything just-”
Kiara whooped as she collided with JJ’s back, the blond boy catching her easily and spinning the two of them. Something ugly bubbled in your chest and you looked away before your face read your emotions.
A quick ride on the HMS Pogue landed the five of you at Rixon’s Cove and the boys went to work getting a bonfire started. You and Kiara settled along the small seating area, the heat helping the evening chill that was setting in.
“Hey guys, so like… my dad’s already gonna kill me. So what’s this mandatory meeting about?” Pope asked as he threw another log in the fire to keep it going.
JJ looked over at your brother, who looked like he was hiding the secret of a lifetime. “Might as well tell him, man, before we’re gaffed.”
John B settled into his seat. “So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, my God. Here we go again.”
“We searched the ship, there was nothing there-"
“It’s been here the whole time.” John B’s comment shut Pope’s argument down immediately and the older boy had everyone’s attention again. “It’s on the island.”
“Are you serious?”
“I’d like to voice my skepticism.”
“I’m sure you would, Pope, but can I present you with my evidence, sir?”
Pope looked unamused but waved at your brother to continue. “Proceed.”
John B shifted to unzip the backpack at his feet. “Alright, so. In my backpack, I have a letter from Denmark Tanny.”
“Who the hell’s that?”
“Denmark Tanny was a slave that survived the Royal Merchant wreck, check this out,” John B explained as he unraveled a piece of worn paper. “Okay, slaves weren’t mentioned as crew members on the ship, but my dad found the complete manifest. That was his big discovery. So Tanny used the gold from the Merchant to buy his freedom. After that, he bought his farm. Drumroll, please, because that farm is…Tannyhill Plantation.”
Kiara scowled at the name as she passed the paper off to Pope. “Tannyhill?”
John B was quick to ignore her. “Yeah, so after that, he used his money to free even more slaves and then he sold a shit-ton of rice, which pisses off all the white planters, and then, they decide to lynch him. So on the day they were coming to get him, he writes a letter to his son as a farewell, and in the last line of that letter, he leaves a coded message about where to find the gold.”
You gave John B a slightly annoyed look. “Where?” You whispered in faux suspense.
“Harvest the wheat in parcel nine, near the water.”
“Is that supposed to mean something to us?” You replied, leaning back on your hands as you stared up at your brother.
He frowned at your question. “You know, I don’t like your attitude.”
“And I don’t like long-winded explanations, can you hurry up, bro?”
John B sighed, ignoring you for now. “You see, wheat is code for gold. Check this out.” He walked toward Pope to hold another paper side by side as proof.
Pope stared at it a moment with his flashlight before murmuring, “Holy shit.”
“All we need is an original survey map of the property, and we’ve found the gold,” John B finally concluded as Kiara laughed in disbelief.
“Okay, so this might have a small chance of being actually true,” Pope admitted as he scanned the two sheets in his hand.
“I’m a genius, hey, whoa!” JJ wrapped John B in a massive hug, lifting your brother off his feet. “Hello, fire, fire. You’re near fire, you’re gonna burn.”
“I’m so proud of you right now.”
“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.”
You shook your head at their exchange. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
John B pointed at you as JJ returned him to the ground. “Good question. Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight. She’ll bring an original survey map-”
You smirked as John B got all flustered and tried to scramble for an excuse. “Um…”
JJ took a seat next to you and pulled his hat from his head before running his fingers through his hair. “This is gonna be good.”
“Sarah, um, she… got me into the archives in Chapel Hill yesterday. That’s where I got the letter.”
“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” Kiara repeated in shock as she stared up at him.
“Yeah, um-”
“He was mackin’ on her,” JJ added to no avail. You squeezed his knee warningly and he let out a soft laugh
“I wasn’t macking.”
“You were totally macking Sarah Cameron,” You joined in with a knowing smile as JJ nudged you back.
“I wasn’t macking on her, okay? I was using her for access.”
“There was access, all right.”
Kiara glared at John B. “Did you tell her about the treasure?”
“I was trying to get into the archives?”
“Is that a yes?”
“I left out key details!”
“Yo, what?!” Kiara was yelling now, her frustration very evident as she went eye to eye with John B. “You let a Kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe, what about the t-shirt company, bro?”
John B raised his hands in defense. “I was just using her for information!”
Kie’s expression dropped. “Why don’t I believe you?”
“I’m trying to make us filthy rich here! Okay? So we can pay off the boat or, or, uh, send you to autopsy school to study dead bodies. Look, you guys know me. Do I look like the type of person to fall for Sarah Cameron?”
You looked up at John B with a sly smile. “Do you really want us to answer that, or…”
“Just, just stop.”
“Look, you don’t know her yet. I do! You can’t trust her!” Kiara argued.
“Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club,” Pope added as he glanced over at you.
You winced and leaned forward to place your elbows on your knees. “Rafe and Sarah are different human beings.”
“You’re helping him?” Kie nearly screamed, motioning her hand out toward John B as she looked at you in shock.
“Oh, they’re best friends now,” Pope pointed to you. “Yeah, she went to a party with Sarah Cameron and all her Kook friends the other night.”
“What!”
You sighed, a hand covering your face. “Not helping, Pope.”
“What is wrong with you two?”
“Okay, we’re not done discussing that, but what exactly did she do to you?” JJ’s question was directed toward Kie, and you were grateful for the change of attention.
“She’s like a spitting cobra. First, she-she blinds you, and then-”
“This is a bad analogy.”
Kie groaned loudly, “Listen to me! Whatever we get, she’s gonna try to take. You have to believe me.”
John B was looking at you, though. “You went to a party?!”
“Dude, chill out,” You grumbled back in annoyance, frustrated that this was suddenly your fault. “I went to a party, had a few drinks, and we left, okay? Nothing happened! Sarah was nice to me, I had a good time, and I came home.”
You turned to Pope. “And I’m sorry for what happened on the course that day, but it wasn’t my fault. And I know getting involved with the Kooks is a bad idea, but she feels like a friend to me. Is that such a bad thing, for me to be included for once in someone’s life, for someone to want to spend time with me?”
An awkward, heavy silence fell over the group, and you let your head drop to your hands, mumbling to yourself that they should go back to arguing without you.
“Look, what’s done is done.” Pope broke the silence, part of him feeling guilty for giving you such a hard time over Rafe’s comment that day at the Island Club. “We have to move forward. If she has the plat map, we need it. That’s the next step, whether we like it or not.”
“Thank you, Pope,” John B replied and set his hands on his hips. “Can we manage that?”
Kie scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Let’s go.”
She got to her feet, brushing the back of her dress for any debris before she started toward where the Twinkie was parked a few feet up. JJ was right next to her, an arm tossed over her shoulder as they spoke. Pope shuffled a few feet behind, still trying to read through the papers John B had given him.
“Spare me,” You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest before looking up at your brother. “I’m not going to apologize for any of that.”
John B shrugged his shoulders lightly. “Wouldn’t expect you to. Are you okay?”
The question was a loaded one, unfortunately. Your shoulders were tense, and you couldn’t help but look back over where JJ was opening the door for Kiara and holding out a hand to help her in. “Fine.”
John B followed your gaze, catching the moment for himself. “Do…”
“Doesn’t matter,” You whispered and looked down at the fabric covering your legs. The last few days had been emotionally exhausting, and you just wanted to go home. Tears burned your eyes, and you took a shaky breath to keep from falling apart completely. “I just wanna go home, John B.”
For a moment, John B didn’t know what to do. Things had certainly been rocky between the two of you for so long, and you’d made a habit of hiding any vulnerability from him in return. It’d been a while since you turned to him for comfort or were honest about the way you were feeling. He wasn’t sure whether to hug you or keep his distance.
John B wasn’t blind. He knew you and JJ had always been close in a different way than the others. He never really expected it to be anything serious. I mean, JJ flirted with practically anything that had a heartbeat.
But now that he was thinking, JJ hadn’t brought home a hookup the entire summer, which definitely wasn’t like him. And you were more attached to him than you normally were, seeking physical contact in ways you hadn’t before.
John B pulled himself from the thoughts before he got in too deep.
“Look, it’ll be fine.” He didn’t know if he was convincing himself or you more.
You nearly screamed at the uncertainty and lack of comfort from him. You hoped getting more involved with this treasure hunt would slowly mend your relationship, but you were starting to doubt that. Once again, you were left to pick the pieces up by yourself.
“Yeah.”
John B watched as you walked away, cursing to himself that he should’ve done more, but didn’t say another word and made his way to the Twinkie.
--
The drive to Hawk’s Nest was awkward and filled with silence, which was not normal for the van. You had tucked yourself in the passenger seat, leaving JJ, Kie, and Pope in the back as John B drove. You had nothing to say, and evidently, Kiara was too angry to engage in any conversation, so the boys tried to talk amongst themselves.
“Let’s go, boys. A little recon mission,” JJ announced as he tossed open the back door when the van came to a stop.
John B turned the key in the ignition. “Yo, uh…so I think I’m gonna do this one by myself…” He tried to sound confident in his words, eyes meeting Kiara’s as a point. The girl just rolled hers in return and settled back against the seat cushion.
“Really?”
“What?”
“Nothin’,” JJ replied and sank back to the floor without another word. Thunder rumbled in the distance, as if mocking the group’s turmoil.
John B didn’t like the lack of enthusiasm. “I just don’t wanna spook Sarah with the circus.”
“I just don’t understand why we’re involving her at all,” Kiara commented with irritation.
Your brother laughed like it was obvious. “Kie, we’re not involving her, okay? It’s, it’s just uh, like a business meeting.”
You tuned out the conversation, eyes drifting to the lightning in the sky before thunder rattled the air again. Summer storms were always your favorite. The shift in the air, the way the insects and animals reacted, and it was a great soundtrack to soothe your racing thoughts. You just wished you could be curled up under the blankets of your bedroom instead.
John B’s door closed after a few minutes of arguing from his friends, and then silence resumed. You sighed, sinking deeper into the seat as you rested your feet on the dashboard, dress falling across your skin softly with the motion. Tonight felt like a fever dream and you really wished it would end soon.
“Care to comment, princess?”
The nickname made your mouth sour ever since Rafe started referring to you like that. You didn’t bother to open your eyes at JJ’s attempt to drag you into their conversation. “Nope.”
The next few minutes went on just like that, with JJ and Pope trying to reason with Kiara to your amusement, and the girl denying all attempts. Rain was starting to fall across the windshield as the sky shifted angrily.
It wasn’t until a shout filtered through your ears that you opened your eyes to look around. Lightning lit the surrounding area and your body went cold. “Shut up.”
The back of the van went silent, JJ whispering a small what as thunder followed.
“Please, somebody help!”
The passenger door flew open and you took off barefoot at Sarah’s scream, not bothering to see if the other Pogues were following. You rounded the corner from the open field to see the blonde girl kneeling over your brother, her hands cradling his head as she spoke.
“Sarah! What happened?” You kneeled on John B’s other side, your hand grabbing his shoulder as he groaned in pain. His eyes were closed, but he was moving slightly.
“I don’t know what to do, he needs help. Topper shoved him,” She sobbed as she looked at you.
“Where the hell is he?” JJ’s anger took over instantly as he scanned the area for the boy in question.
“JJ!” You shouted, pulling his focus back to the issue at hand. “Go!”
The fear in your voice was enough to send him and Pope both running to get someone without another word. Your hands were shaking as you sat back on your heels. There was no blood, which was a good sign, but you were worried he could be paralyzed or bleeding somewhere you couldn’t see.
“John B, please,” Sarah cried, leaning down to kiss him softly.
You froze in shock but told yourself now wasn’t the time to ask. Kiara nearly choked on air, staring at the duo in either disgust or surprise, but even she stayed quiet.
The next few hours passed in a blur as you found yourself in the back of an ambulance next to John B, soaking up every word the EMTs and doctors murmured. Sarah met you at the hospital somewhere in between, the Pogues taking the Twinkie with them as you sat in the stiff plastic chair.
A concussion, broken wrist, and dehydration were repeating in your head as you listened to the heart rate monitor beep consistently next to John B’s bed. Sarah was by his side, her hand in his as her thumb brushed over his knuckles.
John B had woken up a little bit in the hours between before drifting back to sleep with the help of some pretty strong painkillers. You watched, numb, as people entered and exited in a constant loop to check in on him and explain more details that you would probably forget about.
Sarah had stayed quiet, the two of you in an understanding silence as the night turned to morning and sunlight filtered through the blinds. You had been hesitant to bring John B here, only pausing with the consideration that DCS would show up at the first notice of his name in the ER.
But this was John B, and you’d rather have him alive and DCS to fight than risk his life.
“Hi.” Her soft voice made you look up to see John B’s head moving slightly on the pillow.
“Hi,” He whispered in return, his voice raspy with the lack of use. “Where am I?”
“St. Olive’s,” She answered, “You fell from the Hawk’s Nest. You have a concussion and a broken wrist.”
John B blinked slowly, adjusting to the light before he held his left arm up where a navy cast had been placed. “Whoa.”
“Pretty cool,” Sarah joked with a smile.
You watched the interaction with a slight pain in your chest. You had been a mess of fucking anxiety all night, and here your brother was, sleepily flirting with Sarah Cameron.
“I need to get outta here.” John B shifted on the bed and finally caught sight of you. “DCS is gonna find me-”
You looked so small curled up in the chair with a ratty hospital blanket across your shoulders. The emotions had definitely taken their toll on you, with teary eyes and dark circles filling your face; John B knew you weren’t okay.
“Hang on, there.”
Glancing over, you saw Ward Cameron enter the room in a button-up and slacks like he had an agenda. Sarah had stepped out of the room earlier to call him and update him on where she was, but you never expected him to show up.
“Sarah told me everything,” He began, eyes looking between the two of you before he approached John B’s side. “About your little adventure, about you running from the DCS, about how you were protecting her in the tower. John, I believe I owe you an apology. You were honest with me about a small indiscretion, and I went ahead and fired you anyway. Unfortunately, from time to time, I have a bit of a…short fuse. Ask her.”
Sarah gave a small nod, slightly joking when she said, “It’s true.”
“I’d like to make up for it, if you’ll let me. I spoke with Sheriff Peterkin, and I’ve offered to be your legal guardian if you’ll both have me.”
Your heart fell to your ass as you took in the words. Ward Cameron, suddenly wanting to be your legal guardian? It felt wrong, it felt deliberate, and you weren’t going to trust it for a second.
“What?”
“It’d mean a roof over your head and no more runnin’ from the DCS. We can get more into specifics if needed, I just wanted to offer first and foremost.”
“Mr. Cameron, no offense, but you don’t really know us,” You spoke up from your spot, pulling the attention to you. “That’s a lot to offer for some kids across the island.”
Ward nodded. “I understand your concern there, but I promise I mean this wholeheartedly. Sarah told me the two of you are becoming friends and your brother has worked for me for a decent time. Plus, I used to do business with your old man. I think he would be happy to know you two had a trusted adult taking care of you.”
Your gaze flickered to John B’s, but there was no point. He was staring at Sarah with soft eyes and you knew all he was thinking about was being closer to her.
“John B, can we talk about this?”
He looked back to you, almost surprised that you were hesitant to agree. “I mean, I don’t-”
“I promise you guys can still have your freedoms. We’ll have some ground rules set, but nothing too crazy. I am pretty flexible on most things, John.”
Head clouded with the sight of the girl ahead of him, John B didn’t even look at you before nodding. “Sure, yeah. Uh…that sounds good.”
“Welcome to the family.”
You wondered if anyone could hear your heart crack in your chest across the room.
It was the first time you’ve been out on the Pogue since your father had been officially pronounced lost at sea. Or in other words, dead.
Your brother, John B hadn’t taken it well. After all, you heard them fighting the day he took all of your rent money and disappeared.
“You’re a shit father!”
Your father didn’t stop packing his things, “I’m gonna have to disappear for a while, bird,” Big John spoke.
“Dad?” You said groggily from just waking up, “please don’t leave,”
He stood by the door and nodded down, “don’t worry kids, it’ll be like nothing ever happened,”
“Whatcha thinking about?” JJ nudged you back to reality.
The wind was blowing your hair in all directions, when you turned to him, your hair blew in your face.
JJ laughed and helped brush it aside.
“Nothing,” you shrugged, “just that I missed the boat,”
He nods, “and she missed you.”
You rolled your eyes. JJ always thought boats had feelings, ever since you met him in the third grade.
Kie sat next to you and JJ, “have y’all thought of what we’re going to do this summer?”
“I’m cool with anything. You know, except getting arrested,” Pope added.
JJ smirks, “if I can teach Y/n to talk her way out of a crime, I can help ya dodge the cops,”
“What crime, exactly, Y/n?” John B asked, he was steering the boat.
“Uhh well you know, the usual,” you brush off.
“Actually I don’t know. Enlighten me,” he had a little sass in his voice, Kie just laughed.
“Smoking weed, baby,” JJ chuckled, fumbling with his zippo lighter.
“JJ! You snitch!” You shouted, slapping him on the shoulder.
“I ain’t no snitch! What’s wrong with smoking weed?” JJ asked.
At this, John B tackled JJ but JJ weasels his way on top. John B laughs and Pope hops on the pile. Kie follows and finally you join the laughing group.
After the sun starts to hide it’s face, the group heads back.
Kie and Pope head home to their loving, and most likely, worried parents. And you and John B head inside the Chateau while JJ prepares a fire outside.
He would probably spent the night with you. You knew about JJ’s home life. :(
When you walked inside to grab something to eat, you noticed John B, touching his hand to a picture of Big John hanging on the wall.
You sighed, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I miss him too,” you said.
“No one misses him more than I do,” John B muttered. It wasn’t meant to offend you, he just knew where you stood.
He broke a promise to you. You really believed he was gone, for good.
“You know dad wouldn’t want this. I’m worried about DCS...nothing can fix this,”
“We’re fine, Y/n/n,” he said bitterly.
“What if they split us up-“
“They won’t,” John B stated.
You scoffed, “and anyway, John B? I miss him just as much as you do,” you added. You were trying to leave, maybe check on JJ, until John B ignited the argument.
John B shrugged your hand off of him, “yeah. When he comes back I’ll be sure to tell him that,”
Your mouth went dry, you knew it was hopeless to argue with John B, he didn’t want to believe the fact of it all.
“When are you going to get it in your thick skill, he’s not coming back!” You exclaimed, the subject angered you, and John B never listened.
“Shut up!” He shouted shoving your shoulders back with force, it wasn’t enough to nock you off your feet.
“John B-“
“Where’s your proof huh?! I didn’t get a body! We didn’t have a damn funeral!” he rebuked.
“He left us. He chose to leave. I don’t know how he died, but he’s that. Dead,”
John B snapped, he stood closer to you again and swung a punch towards your cheek.
You finched and couldn’t avoid the impact, your cheek stung and you stumbled back.
John B’s eyes filled with tears, he grabbed your arm harshly and pulled you closer to him, “the last time I saw that man, I told him he was a shit father,”
“Ow, Bird stop,” you pleaded, whimpers evident in your voice. You haven’t called him bird since your father was alive, you and Big John used that nick name with love. But looking into John B’s eyes you saw nothing but anger.
“Hey, whoa what’s going on?” You heard a blurred voice ask frantically from the door. But John B didn’t seem to hear as he swung again, forcing you down to the ground.
You yelped quietly. John B was about to begin another blow. But JJ rushed in and pulled John B by his shirt.
“Yo! What the fuck is your problem?!!” JJ shouted, forcing John B against the wall. JJ was angry, and confused on why John B would strike his own sister.
John B struggled against JJ, but when his eyes met JJs, they watered just enough to let tears fall, then you looked to you. Still breathing heavily on the floor.
John B saw what he had done, “oh shit,” he mumbled.
“Get out John B. Wait outside. Just-just cool off bro,” JJ suggested.
John B only nodded, giving you an apologetic look before leaving to head outside.
Once he was gone, JJ walked slowly over to you.
“Hey, you okay?” JJ began, his voice was soft and sweet.
You coughed slightly, “y-yeah. I-um..I’m okay,” you’d studdered. You attempted to get up on your own. But your legs and arms felt numb.
“Y/n, let me help you up,” JJ placed a hand on your waist and helped your hand land in his.
He picked you up slowly, when you finally looked him in the eye. Your eyes burned with tears, you fell into JJs chest and instantly, he wrapped his arms around you.
You whimpered and cried as you held onto JJ’s T-shirt. He rubbed your back, whispering, “it’s okay...you’re okay,”
“Why would be do that? I just want him to stop being so hopeful. Dad’s gone,” you cried.
“He’s grieving, Y/n. It’s not your fault, you hear me?” JJ asked.
You squeezed him tighter, “do you think he’s gone for good?” You asked.
“Who? Big John?” JJ asked.
“Yeah. Do..do you think John B is right? Or-“
“Y/n let’s not worry about that now. You’ve got some bruises coming in,” JJ points out.
I have chapter one of a JJ x Routledge!Reader x OC fanfic series finished and idk if i want to post it or not. im not sure if I have enough ideas to continue the series but if you guys want to see it I may post it.
Cleo and Sarah are practically leaning forward in their lawn chairs as they wait for JJ to realize that the girl who got out of the Twinkie is you.
You laugh at something John B says, and JJ feels genuinely stupid for a second because he can't stop staring. Not just because you're absolutely stunning but because something about that laugh is so familiar and he can't figure out what it is for the life of him.
Pope and Kiara practically crash into you in a group hug.
"Oh my god, hi! I missed you guys!!"
JJ looks around slowly. "Wait, who is that? Do I know her?"
Sarah and Cleo smile at each other, both trying not to laugh.
"Is she what he picked up?" he asks quietly. "Is she the surprise or something? What is this… a blind date?"
Cleo smirks. "Maybe destiny."
He scoffs. "I'm so fucking confused right now. What does that even mean? Please stop being weird and just tell me what's going on."
Before anyone can answer, you glance in their direction, your eyes landing on a familiar messy blond head of hair... that's on a very unfamiliar body... and your smile drops as you take him in, then comes back even wider.
"JJ," you whisper, chest absolutely squeezing.
He looks back over and sees you take off toward him at lightning speed.
"Who the hell is–"
"JJ!" You throw your arms around him so hard you nearly knock him over, squealing so loud he thinks his ear drums might burst.
He catches you on instinct, hands grabbing your waist, and you laugh against his shoulder.
"Hi?" he says, completely thoroughly confused as you squeeze him tighter.
His voice is so much deeper. And you realize he has zero idea who you are which makes you giggle more.
And yeah. Yep. He knows that giggle.
He pulls back slightly, staring down at your smiling face and you see it hit him all at once.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
JJ's face breaks into the biggest smile anybody's seen from him in weeks. Maybe months. Maybe even years.
"No way," he breathes, hands flying to your cheeks, gently holding your face there.
Yep, that's you alright.
"Holy shit. Y/N."
You beam up at him. "Hi, Jayj."
He laughs in disbelief before hugging you again, tighter this time.
"Holy shit," he repeats into your hair. "It– it's you. What the hell!?"
You squeal again in shock as he lifts you up and spins you like he used to do but... oh lord, he's way stronger now.
Behind you, the Pogues look deeply entertained.
"I told you he'd be happy," Kiara says, smug as ever.
JJ hardly hears her and when he finally lets go, he keeps his hands on your arms like he's making sure you're actually there. Real. With him. This girl he hasn't stopped thinking about and practically mourned all these years.
Your hands find his biceps and you swallow a little because those are definitely not the arms he had last time you saw him.
"You're back? For the summer?"
"Yeah, I'm back." You nod. "I'm back... permanently, actually."
JJ just stares at you, and for a second he honestly thinks he misheard.
"Wait." His hands tighten slightly around your arms. "What?"
You laugh. "What?"
His eyes narrow suspiciously. "Permanently?"
"Oh." Your smile grows. "Yeah. My mom got a new job. We both missed it here a lot."
JJ just stares, processing that information.
"In Durham?"
"Nope. Here."
His eyes go even wider. "Here here?"
You chew your lip, heart bursting at the fact that he's so excited. "Yeah, JJ. Here here."
"On Kildaire?"
You laugh. "On Kildaire. That's where here is, right?"
He opens his mouth, probably to make some smartass comment, but nothing comes out. His brain is way too all over the place to form a proper sentence now.
Behind you, Sarah and Cleo glance at each other again, both trying very hard not to lose it at the fact that JJ's acting exactly how the other Pogues said he would.
And at the fact that neither of them has ever seen him look at anybody the way he's looking at you. Ever.
"No fucking way," he manages.
You scrunch your nose. "Yes fucking way."
"Nuh uh."
"Yuh huh."
"Damn. Wow. So... so like Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall?"
You nod. "Mmhm, we're gonna have plenty of time to catch up."
He breathes out a stunned laugh, letting go of your arms finally and running a hand through his hair before shaking his head in disbelief. "Guess so."
Kiara snorts loudly. "Oh, girl, we have a lot to catch up on. You have no idea."
You look over at her, very intrigued. "Oh yeah?"
Pope nods, very very seriously. "Oh yeah."
"A shit ton," John B adds.
You look back at JJ. Then your eyes flick down and your jaw drops when you notice the shark tooth dangling from his neck. "Wait... No way."
He follows your gaze.
You reach up and run your thumb along the tooth. "Is this the necklace I gave you?"
He nods, melting at the feeling of your knuckles brushing against his chest. "Oh. Yeah. Told you I loved it."
Sarah and Cleo exchange another surprised glance with each other, realizing where the necklace that they've never seen him take off came from.
Everybody feels like they're watching a soap opera unfold in real time.
"This too," JJ mumbles, almost embarrassed for some reason as he fidgets with the worn and faded bracelet that has barely left his wrist over the last few years.
You gasp and poke your bottom lip out a little. "Holy shit."
He stares at you another second too long, because you've changed so much it makes his head spin a little. Because you were always cute, but now...
"You got tall," you say suddenly.
JJ smirks, a little dopey. "Yeah, that happens."
You roll your eyes, smiling. "Oh wow, still a smartass. That hasn't changed, huh?"
"No, it has not." John B chimes in and everybody nods in agreement.
Again, JJ doesn't hear a word they say.
You glance down again without meaning too, unable to help yourself. "Damn. When did that happen? You got kinda… ripped."
JJ looks down like he forgot he was shirtless. He tries not to grin at that and fails miserably.
John B slides a hand down his face. "Don't tell him that."
Sarah smiles. "Too late."
JJ flexes one arm dramatically. "Oh, these ol things?"
You burst out laughing. "Oh my god."
He flexes harder. "Yeah, I just be… doin' stuff. Just kinda happened. Always told you it would."
You roll your eyes hard and it only makes him smile more. "Still cocky as hell too, I see."
He shrugs. "Just stating facts."
You're both quiet for a moment, just taking each other in as the Pogues laugh quietly around you. Your smiles soften a little as more and more memories come rushing back.
"You look…" He shakes his head once, grinning as he tries to find the words. "Different."
You look down at yourself now. "Good different or bad different?"
He shakes his head again, quicker. "Not bad different."
Your cheeks warm and JJ feels heat crawl up the back of his neck at the way your eyes glitter up at him. Which is ridiculous because he doesn't get nervous around girls. Ever. But you're looking at him all warm and familiar and happy, and suddenly he feels thirteen again.
"I can't believe it's actually you," he says softly.
You shake your head slowly. "Me neither."
After another second of just looking at each other, he grins again like he caught himself being serious for too long.
"Sooo Argentina, huh?"
You laugh. "Yeah."
"How was that?"
"Hot. Loud. Kinda crazy."
"Sounds familiar."
You tilt your head as you look up at him in that way that always drove him crazy. Might drive him even crazier now. "You still surf?"
"Obviously."
"You still a psycho?"
All the pogues chime in.
"Yep!"
"He's still a disaster."
"He steals a little less now though so that's good."
"Oh my god." You shake your head, laughing harder as memories of all his little 'free 99' gifts come rushing back. "That is good."
Before you can stop yourself, you throw your arms back around him.
He hugs you back gently, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.
"I missed you," you say into his shoulder.
His chest squeezes again. "Yeah?"
You nod against him.
"I missed you too," he says instantly, like he'd been waiting five years to be able to say that.
You finally pull back and glance toward Sarah and Cleo. "Oh my god. I haven't even introduced myself. Sorry!"
They both laugh and shake their heads.
"All good, girl," Cleo smiles.
You walk over and pull them each into a quick hug.
"Hi. I'm Y/N."
"Cleo."
"Sarah."
Then you smile at Sarah. "I can't believe it took me this long to meet John B's wife."
Sarah smirks and points between you and JJ. "I was literally about to say the same thing."
Your hand flies over your mouth and you burst out laughing once again.
JJ's face goes bright red. "Oh my god."
Everybody starts cackling, all having been wondering when somebody was going to bring it up.
Pope nearly doubles over. "You two are still together right?"
"Stop," JJ grumbles.
Kiara is laughing too hard to stand properly.
"What? You had no problem calling her that five years ago. You'd go around telling random people–"
"PLEASE stop."
You can barely breathe from laughing. While JJ looks like he wants to launch himself directly into the marsh and never come out.
John B rolls the cooler over and starts handing out beers. You take one happily and crack it open. JJ snatches it out of John B's hand, still unable to look at anybody.
John B raises his own dramatically. "Ladies and gentlemen. Today is a historic occasion."
"JB," JJ groans.
"I'd like to propose a toast in honor of the return of JJ Maybank's wife, my little cousin Y/N."
Everybody immediately raises their drinks.
"To JJ's wife!"
"To JJ's wife!"
"To JJ's wife!"
You nearly choke laughing, realizing that you missed the teasing more than you care to admit.
JJ drags both hands down his face. "Ya'll are something."
But when both of you look back over at each other as you sip your beers, neither of you can help but smile.
Everybody spends the rest of the day eating, drinking, laughing and catching up with you.
The Pogues' stories never seem to end. One ridiculous adventure turns into another, and every time you think they've finally told you the craziest thing that's happened since you left, someone else jumps in with an even crazier story.
"Dude, what the hell?!" you say to JJ, still coughing from choking on your beer as everyone finishes one of the most insane stories yet. "So let me get this straight... Your plan was to steal an ambulance…" You cough again. "...to break John B out of jail... but it all ended up being for nothing because he was already gonna get out?"
"He wasn't supposed to be in there. Had to free my boy," JJ says casually, shrugging.
You stare at him. "That could've gone so bad."
An overly proud smirk grows across his face. "But it didn't."
You shake your head slowly. "I wouldn't have even done that for him."
John B barks out a laugh. "Aw, thanks, cuz."
You roll your eyes as he reaches over and squeezes your shoulder. Then look over at him, a little more serious, but soft. "I'm glad everything worked out in the end though. My mom and I were scared shitless for you. We knew you would never do what they said you did."
At some point you find yourself on the HMS Pogue, laughing so hard your stomach hurts while everybody argues over whose version of events is actually correct.
Every now and then you catch yourself just looking around at all of them, unable to believe that you're back here with everybody. And happy beyond words about it.
JJ finds himself doing the same thing, but just at you. And not just because he's happy his friend is back, but because the second that you had begun pulling off your clothes, revealing the tiny bikini you had on underneath, he realized that he was beyond screwed. He already knew this but now it was way worse.
You definitely aren't thirteen anymore.
And apparently neither is he.
"Dude," Pope said to JJ, quiet enough for only the boys to hear, when he caught him staring for the billionth time.
JJ nearly jumped. "What?"
Pope smirked and shook his head. "Nothing."
"Then shut up."
John B glanced between them and immediately started grinning too.
JJ groaned and grabbed the nearest drink, eyes flicking up to you again accidentally as he sipped it, then back down.
Neither of them let him live it down for the rest of the afternoon while you stayed completely unaware.
But you keep sneaking glimpses at him too.
And when you're not thinking about how painfully hot JJ got, you're thinking about how different everything could have been if you hadn't had to move away. About the fact that you might've been right there beside them through all the craziness.
But then JJ catches your eye from across the boat and flashes you one of his familiar crooked grins and suddenly it doesn't feel like you've missed anything at all.
By 1 am, everyone has gone to bed except you and JJ, who still have too much excitement still buzzing through your veins. Too many emotions and memories and things to process.
JJ had let you sleep in his room while he slept out on the porch couch.
You decide to try to sneak outside to get some fresh air, maybe lay in the hammock. But as soon as you quietly open the front door, you see JJ still awake, sitting up and smoking a freshly rolled joint with his feet propped up on the coffee table.
His heart jumps and a slow smile spreads across his face. "Couldn't sleep either?"
You laugh. "Not even a little."
"Good."
"Good?"
"Yeah." He pats the empty spot beside him. "I was getting bored."
You laugh quietly and sit on the couch next to him, hugging your knees to your chest.
He holds the joint out to you and you take it, fingers brushing briefly in the process.
And you both feel it. That feeling that you've been getting all day any time you've made even the smallest bit of physical contact.
You inhale slowly, leaning back against the cushions as smoke curls into the humid air.
Your knee bumps his accidentally as you adjust to get more comfortable, then stays there.
You both smile a little to yourselves. About how it feels to be so close again, but also how comfortable everything still is after all this time.
Even if you both make each other more nervous than ever.
Thirty seconds later JJ looks down at your knees and gently nudges you.
The corner of your lips curl before nudging him back harder.
Then he nudges you back again.
You laugh quietly. "Seriously?"
"What?"
"You still do that."
"You started it."
"Whaaat?" You snort. "I did not."
"Whatever you say, Shrimp."
The nickname makes you choke on the smoke and he loses it, plucking the joint from your fingers and patting your back as you die for a second.
"That's it, let it out," he teases.
You punch him lightly in the side. "Not 'Shrimp'. Oh my god." You laugh more through your choking "I'm not even that short anymore."
"Still shorter than me."
You giggle, glassy eyes narrowing as they flick up to him for a second. "Yeah. True."
You both sit in comfortable silence again after that, still smiling to yourselves.
JJ takes another hit before passing the joint back over. His fingers linger this time, just for a second, and the same electric feeling happens again.
"You know... I was actually kinda pissed at you."
You blink over at him. "Me?"
"Yeah."
"For moving?"
"Mhm."
You tuck one leg beneath yourself. "I was thirteen, JJ. I didn't exactly coordinate the international relocation."
"I know," he says, laughing softly. "Still. I was really bummed. More bummed than mad… way more."
The honesty catches you off guard a bit. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." JJ looks out toward the yard instead of at you, twirling the joint between his fingers.
"When John B told me you moved to Argentina, I thought he was messing with me at first." He shakes his head. "Like who even moves to Argentina from NC?"
You laugh softly and lean the side of your head against the back of the couch as you stare up at him. "Apparently me."
He looks back at you finally and almost freezes when he sees the way you're looking at him. All cozy and sleepy and probably the most adorable thing he's ever seen. He has to look away again.
"Five years is crazy," he says quietly, something unexpectedly vulnerable in his voice.
You study him in the dim porch light: The messy blond hair. The tanned skin. The sharp line of his jaw that definitely wasn't there when you were kids. The way he's changed so much, but somehow not at all.
JJ glances back over, catching you staring. "What?"
You smile faintly. "Nothing."
His lips twitch. "Liar."
Yours do too. "I just missed you. A lot. You were like... my best friend. We had so much fun."
He laughs quietly, then smiles so hard the corners of his sleepy eyes crinkle a bit. "Missed you too."
"I honestly cried so much when I realized I wasn't gonna get to look forward to seeing you all year."
Your own honesty catches you off guard now.
JJ goes still beside you, then he looks back over, big blue eyes full of disbelief, because that's exactly how he felt. "You did?"
"Obviously." You bump your foot against his again. "You were one of the best parts of my summer."
His expression softens in a way you don't think you've ever seen before, like the words genuinely mean a lot to him.
"You were mine too." He takes another hit and exhales. "And to be honest... I mighta cried a little too."
Your eyebrows raise. "Really?"
Embarrassment hits him quick as he realizes what he said. "I–I mean–not like–" he shrugs quickly and tries to look as nonchalant as he can manage with everything he's feeling right now. "Just a few manly tears. No big deal. Kinda just felt like you died, y'know?!"
You go into a full on giggle fit at his defensiveness, leaning your head on his shoulder, which makes him smile helplessly again.
"JJ Maybank cried about me moving? What an honor."
He scoffs. "Whatever. It just felt weird ok?"
You squeeze his hand. "Don't be embarrassed."
"Pffft, what?! I'm not embarrassed."
You look up at him. "Your cheeks are pink."
"It's hot outside. And I drank a lottt of beer."
"Yeah, ok, whatever you say JJ." You burst into more giggles, sitting up straight again. "Besides," you say, bumping his shoulder, "I've seen you cry. Hard."
His eyes narrow instantly, already knowing what you're about to bring up. "Shut up."
A wicked grin spreads across your face. "Like when you sobbed during Marley & Me."
JJ throws his head back. "Oh my god. You were crying too!"
"You were ugly crying."
"I was not."
"There was actual snot involved."
"The dog died! Of course I was crying!"
You laugh so hard you have to grab his arm to stay upright.
"You'd have to be a sick fuck not to cry. Like a whole ass sociopath."
You completely lose it, head dropping to his shoulder again. "I'm not judging you, Jayj, chill out!"
He just shakes his head, unable to stop smiling, himself. Because, god, he forgot how easy and natural talking to you was. Like no matter how many years passed, the two of you somehow still fit together exactly the same way.
"So," you say after a minute after regaining your composure. "Good news for you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Now we can be best friends again."
"That right?"
"Mhm."
JJ leans back deeper into the couch cushions, staring up at the porch ceiling like he's trying not to smile too hard. "Cool."
"Agreed."
"Best summer ever starting now?"
You bite your lip and your eyes flick to each other's at the same time. "You did promise me that last time I saw you... That the next one would be the best one."
"Guess I better keep my promise."
He holds out his hand and you do the pogue handshake like it's muscle memory.
"Best summer ever woogity woogity baby!"
"Woogity woogity baby!"
The conversation drifts after that to something easy and slow and sleepy.
You tell him crazy stories about Argentina.
He tells you more ridiculous things that happened while you were gone.
At some point your eyelids start getting heavy and you yawn suddenly, covering your mouth.
JJ glances over. "Damn, girl. You're done."
"I'm not done."
"You just yawned like somebody's grandma."
"I'm sleepy."
"Old age."
You shove his arm weakly. "Shut up, we're like the same age."
He laughs quietly.
You sigh as sleepiness overtakes against your will. "Yeah no, I should probably go to bed."
JJ nods once, a little reluctant. "Probably."
You sit there for a second then finally stand, stretching a little.
His eyes flick upward. Your t-shirt rides up slightly at the edge and he immediately looks away again.
You miss it completely.
"Night, Jayj," you mumble softly.
"Night, Shrimp."
"Oh my god." You snort weakly, smiling at him one last time. "See you in the morning."
Warmth fills him completely at the sound of that. "See ya."
You disappear into the house, the screen door creaking shut behind you, and silence settles over the porch again.
JJ stares blankly at the doorway for a long moment, then he slowly flops backward onto the couch cushions, dragging both hands down his face.
"What the fuck," he mutters to himself.
Because you're back. Actually back.
For good.
And somehow within less than a day, it already feels like you've slid perfectly back into place in his life. Like the last five years barely happened at all.
And you're still the most beautiful girl in the world. But now, like, the adult version.
He stares up at the ceiling, unable to stop smiling like an idiot once again. His face physically hurts at this point, but he barely notices.
Then he groans quietly into his hands because he is so unbelievably screwed and it's not even funny.
JJ let out a breathless laugh against your mouth, still holding you close, "Pretty sure we convinced everybody."
You pulled back first, laughing softly as your hands slid from around his neck. JJ reluctantly let go of your waist, though neither of you seemed particularly eager to create actual distance.
You both had to or you didn't know if you would've been able to stop yourselves from leaning in again. And even if you were both pretty sure now that you felt the same way, you didn't wanna risk it.
Across the beach, Rafe, who was actually pissed now, had stopped watching and was getting clowned brutally by the other Kooks over the fact that you had chosen JJ Maybank over him.
But the two of you had forgotten he existed at all.
For a second, you just stood there staring at each other, lips swollen and still a little tingly.
JJ cleared his throat.
You immediately looked away, smiling. Then looked right back.
"Sooo..." you said quietly.
"So," JJ echoed, shoving both hands into his pockets.
You copied him, stuffing your own hands into the pockets of your dress. "Good talk."
JJ barked out a laugh. You nodded. Then silence settled again.
His eyes flicked down to your dress. "Your dress has pockets... that's pretty cool."
He had no idea why he said it. He just didn't know what else to say.
Neither of you did. Because now there was this thing sitting between you... this huge obvious thing that neither of you seemed brave enough to mention yet.
You giggled at how awkwardly he said it, looking down at your dress. "It does. That's why I got it."
You were quiet for another second, just smiling at each other stupidly, then JJ rocked back on his heels. "Guess we should go back to everybody. Our work is done."
"Guess so."
You both started walking back, trying to regain control of your faces. Then after about four steps, you glanced over to see that he was already looking at you and you immediately smiled.
He smiled back.
Yeah. That was real.
When you got back to the Pogues, they were probably more quiet than you had ever seen them... and they were all staring holes through the two of you, matching stunned and thoroughly amused looks on every single one of their faces.
You both plopped down on a log beside each other and immediately reached for your drinks in perfect synchronization, just to have something to do with your hands.
You finally gained the courage to look up at them.
"What?" you asked, your voice coming out a little higher than you intended.
John B let out a loud scoff.
Kiara's jaw dropped. "Did you seriously just ask that?"
You just smiled and sipped your drink. "Yeah."
"I dunno, maybe we're all staring at you because you were over there practically eating each other's faces." John B shrugged. "I dunno. Just a theory."
Your eyes flicked over to JJ for just a second, heart swelling when you saw him grinning, proud as ever.
"Were we?" he asked.
Pope nodded slowly. "Oh yeah."
Your cousin's face twisted. "Yeah, you were practically shoving your tongues down each other's throats. In front of the entire beach."
JJ's grin grew as he stared at the sand. "My bad, JB."
He snorted like he didn't love it, but he approved. He knew JJ genuinely cared about you and that's all that mattered to him. He'd much rather rather JJ have you than some Kook. "All good, bro."
"Had to make it look real for Rafe," you said, shrugging a little.
Everybody exchanged glances, not believing that for one goddamn second.
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Sooo you're telling us that wasn't real?"
"Ain't no way," Cleo mumbled with a tiny smirk.
Neither of you said anything now. You both just glanced over at each other in a soft, questioning way that said everything without saying anything at all.
You looked away and stared at your half eaten s'more in the sand, unable to wipe the smile off your face. "It was for Rafe."
JJ nodded. "Yup."
Everybody left you two alone about it after that.
And for the next half hour, you didn't make any boyfriend girlfriend jokes or play pretend. Because now, whatever was going on between the two of you didn't feel like pretending at all. Not one bit.
You just drank and ate s'mores as your friends carried on talking like the two of you weren't actively losing minds.
Every single time you glanced at JJ, he was already looking at you out of the corner of his eye. And every single time that happened, both of you would smile without meaning to.
Then look away.
Then end up looking back, holding eye contact for a moment like you were waiting for the other to do or say something about it.
It felt so ridiculous and obvious that you felt like you were stuck in some strange in between space: Not just friends. Not exactly anything else yet.
Just whatever came after kissing your best friend senseless, pulling each other closer like you couldn't get enough and making small sounds into each other's mouths that could only mean that you were enjoying it.
At one point, JJ rested his hand on the log and his fingers brushed yours. Then it stayed there.
You both looked down, feeling the immediate electricity, and for a second JJ just stared at where your hands were touching, almost like he was waiting to see if you'd pull away.
When you didn't, the corner of his mouth twitched upward. Then, carefully, he nudged his pinky against yours once. Then twice.
Your stomach flipped and a stupidly soft little smile spread across your face before you could stop it, because it felt like confirmation.
Finally, you decided to do something about it.
"Hey."
"Hm?"
Your eyes met and suddenly you forgot every single thing you were about to say. You looked away toward the fire and tried to regain your composure. "Have you ever been back to the fort?"
"No," he admitted quietly.
Your eyes found his again. "Really?"
He shook his head. "Nah."
"Why not?"
One corner of his mouth lifted, then disappeared. "I dunno."
You knew that was a lie.
After a second he shrugged. "Guess it kinda bummed me out after you left."
Your heart squeezed. You sat there for a moment, gaining courage, then swallowed. "Do you wanna go?"
JJ's eyes immediately lifted to yours.
You held his gaze.
His heartbeat kicked up.
"Yeah," he said softly. "Sure."
You smiled. "Okay."
"Ok." He smiled back. "Let's go."
As soon as the two of you began walking away, five pairs of eyes immediately followed.
"Called it," Kiara whispered.
"Absolutely called it," Sarah whispered back.
John B watched the two of you, looking disturbed and proud at the same time.
The walk through the woods felt surreal. Partly because you were both a little drunk and partly because neither of you had any idea what was happening anymore.
JJ used the flashlight on his phone to light the path ahead of you while the two of you stumbled through the darkness, laughing every few minutes whenever one of you almost tripped over a root.
"You're drunk," JJ informed you.
"You’re drunk."
"I am."
Your giggle was cut off as you tripped over a particularly large stick.
"Shit–"
Before you could fall flat on your face, JJ's hand shot out and caught you around the waist.
You looked up at him.
He looked down at you, forgetting to take his hand back.
"You good?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah. Thanks."
You smiled at each other for a second, faces illuminated by the flashlight. His eyes dropped to your lips for two long, painfully noticeable seconds.
"Ok." He let go of you and turned abruptly, beginning to walk again. "Onward."
You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.
A few moments later, you saw it and stopped dead in your tracks. "Oh my god."
JJ smiled at the fort, a little wide eyed, then you.
It was smaller than you remembered, but it was still there.
You walked toward it slowly and JJ followed with the light. "I can't believe it."
"I honestly figured Hurricane Agatha would've taken it out." JJ admitted. "I thought about it when that storm hit."
You laughed softly. "You did?"
"Yeah." He ran a finger along the old, weathered wood. "Guess we were better little architects than we thought."
"Damn right we were."
He pointed the light towards the entrance and gestured inside. "After you."
"Thank you, sir."
He watched you crawl inside, heart rate spiking, and shook his head as flashes of the last time began to intrude his mind.
He followed you in and the flashlight swept across the interior.
Another laugh escaped you as you looked around, because the place was practically frozen in time: Old faded candy wrappers sat tucked into corners. A pile of seashells. Some old pieces of rope. A half full water bottle. A crumpled beer can that you and JJ had stolen from his dad and split with you.
Little traces of two kids who had spent entire summers hiding out here.
"Holy shit," you whispered.
JJ laughed. "No freakin' way."
The two of you dropped down onto the floor across from each other. JJ set his phone flashlight on its side between you and suddenly the fort filled with soft yellow light.
For a second, you just looked around the fort, reminiscing on all the good times you'd had there.
It all felt so crazy.
The last few weeks. What just happened on the beach. The fact that you were both right back where you'd left off all those years ago.
"This is crazy," JJ said suddenly.
You looked over at him. "Little bit."
"This is... weird."
"This is so weird."
Your eyes stayed on his, then you both laughed quietly. Then suddenly it faded like you were both thinking the exact same thing but neither of you knew who should say it first.
JJ rubbed the back of his neck. "So..."
You smiled immediately. "So."
He laughed, obviously nervous, then looked around. "You just wanna come out here and see the fort?"
The smile on your face turned shy. "No."
His stomach flipped. "No?"
You shook your head, then stared down at your hands for a second. "I gotta tell you something... please don't be mad."
His brows furrowed in confusion. "What? ...What is it?"
You giggled. "This morning I uh... I had a headache... So I was looking for Tylenol or something."
His eyes narrowed. "Okay."
"In your nightstand."
JJ groaned immediately. "Oh god."
"And I found that box."
He covered his face, laughter coming out a little embarrassed.
"I wasn't snooping," you said quickly. Then you shook your head at yourself. "But then I kinda was."
He peaked over at you, wincing, then stared at the floor.
"I saw the wrapper... The Hershey's kiss wrapper."
Neither of you spoke for a few seconds, then JJ let out a quiet breath. "Did you think that was weird?"
You shook your head quickly. "No."
He looked over at you.
You smiled. "I thought it was sweet."
His eyebrows raised. "You did?"
You nudged his foot with yours lightly. "It made me really happy... that you kept everything."
Relief filled him instantly.
"Why did you keep it?"
He laughed, not because it was funny, but because he suddenly felt very exposed. "I don't know."
You gave him a look. "That's a lie."
He nodded weakly. "Just wanted to remember it... Felt... special."
You stared at him for a second.
"Was I special?" you asked softly.
JJ looked over immediately, like the answer was obvious. "Yeah," he said quietly. "You are. You've always been special."
You almost felt dizzy for a second at the confession. You scooted a little closer without thinking about it.
"Really special?"
He nodded. "Really special."
You both swallowed as you stared at each other.
"What about the kiss today?"
JJ's eyes flicked down to your mouth, then back up. "What about it?"
"Was that special too?"
His lips twitched. "What do you think?"
Your stomach fluttered. "I thought it was."
The smile faded from his face and the way he looked at you now was dizzyingly soft. Like you were actually everything to him now. Like there were a thousand things both of you suddenly understood without having to say them.
"Yeah... I thought so too."
You reached out, carefully intertwining your fingers with his.
He looked down at your hands, heart pounding now.
You scrunched your nose, teasing. "Your hands are sweaty."
He huffed out a laugh. "You're kinda makin' me nervous."
You giggled. "I'm making you nervous? Me?"
He rolled his eyes, smiling absolutely helplessly. "Yeah, you."
"Why? You got a crush on me or somethin'? You wanna really be my boyfriend?"
JJ answered that without a second thought. "More than anything."
The words came out so easily that neither of you seemed prepared for them. But he wasn't joking. And he wasn't looking away either.
"Okay," you said quietly.
JJ's heart immediately tried to punch its way out of his chest. "Okay?"
You squeezed his hand. "You're my boyfriend then."
He stared at you like he didn't believe it. "Wait… for real?" he mumbled.
"For real." You nodded seriously. Then a grin spread across your face. "But just so you know, there are requirements." You held up a finger. "Number one, you have to tell me I'm pretty at least–"
"Come here."
Before you could finish your very official list of boyfriend duties, JJ caught your face between his hands and pulled you toward him. His lips found yours and you were both smiling too hard to even kiss properly at first. You tried but you both just laughed into each other's mouths.
JJ shook his head against your lips. "You're so ridiculous."
"You like it."
"I really do."
You scooted closer and the kiss deepened quickly. His hand tangled into your hair like it had earlier. You hummed quietly into his mouth.
"You still taste like chocolate," he murmured breathlessly.
"So do you." You pulled his face back to yours before crawling into his lap and settling there without breaking it the kiss for even a second.
His hand slid to your waist to hold you there. "Oh, hey girl."
"Hi," you whispered.
You kissed him hard, tongue tangling with his, humming once against his lips, your hand sliding into his hair now.
Your hips moved against him once and JJ groaned softly into your mouth, very quickly hardening underneath you. The noise and the way he was pressed between your legs sent heat straight through your entire body.
His hand slid past your hips to grip your ass and guided you towards him again, making you whimper softly.
You pulled back to look at him, nose still brushing his. "JJ?" you whispered.
"Yeah, pretty girl?"
"I want you."
He just stared at you for a second, throat bobbing as he swallowed. "Yeah?"
You nodded.
A soft grin spread across his face. "I want you too, Shrimp."
Your stomach flipped but you couldn't help but giggle at the nickname. "You really gonna call me Shrimp right now?"
He let out a quiet laugh and shook his head. "Sorry. Force of habit."
You smiled. "It's ok."
"So... you wanna walk back to the Chateau or..."
You tilted your head. "Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
You looked around the fort. "I mean... why not right here? Seems appropriate to have another first here. Seems like it's kinda our thing."
JJ barked out a laugh. "You wanna...y'know… in the dirt?"
You chewed on your lip, smiling a little more playfully now. "Wouldn't be the first time we played in the dirt."
He laughed again, shaking his head like he couldn't believe that you'd just said that. Then he stared at you for a second, just taking you in: How adorable you were perched on his lap, finally all his. How gorgeous you were. The way that your glossy eyes shined in the moonlight.
His hand came up to brush a messy strand of hair behind your ear. "You sure you want this? ...Sure you want me?"
You immediately frowned at the fact that he'd even ask that. "JJ. Of course I do." You gently cupped his face in your hands. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you."
His heart squeezed painfully. "Yeah?"
You nodded. "Yeah."
You kissed him again and he lifted you before carefully lowering you onto your back in the leaves... accidentally hitting his head on a piece of driftwood in the process.
"Shit. Ow."
"You okay?" you giggled.
He rubbed the back of his head, wincing a little. "This fort’s a goddamn death trap," he muttered, already lowering himself over you, elbows sinking into the ground on either side of your shoulders. "Five years later and the architecture's gone to shit."
You shrugged, smiling. "Maybe you just got taller."
"Maybe you just got heavier."
You gasped. "JJ!"
"What?! You technically did? So did I!"
"Well… true."
You both burst into giggles and he grabbed his phone to turn off the flashlight. Then he was kissing you again and the laughter dissolved into quiet hums.
The weight of him settled between your thighs and when you felt him, hard beneath his shorts, your hips lifted without permission, seeking friction.
JJ made a sound against your mouth and his hand found your jaw, thumb tracing the edge of your lip as he pulled back to look at you.
"You have no idea how many times I thought about this," he said, voice rougher now. "Every single goddamn day since you got back."
Heat bloomed in your chest. "Yeah?"
"I’m serious." His thumb dropped to your chin, tilting your face up. "What happened on the beach earlier... thirteen year old would be losin' his damn mind. He was a mess over you."
You couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe past the ache in your throat.
He kissed the corner of your mouth. "He still is." Then your jaw. Then the sensitive spot just beneath your ear and your fingers curled into his shirt, a shaky exhale escaping your lips. "This okay?" he murmured against your skin.
"Yeah. Yes."
His teeth grazed your earlobe and your back arched. A soft, startled whimper slipped out and you felt him smile against your skin.
His mouth traced a slow path down your neck, tongue flicking against your pulse point, and your hands slid into his hair. You tugged a little and he groaned, the vibration buzzing against your collarbone. Then his fingers hooked the strap of your dress and bikini top and tugged it down.
He gripped your exposed breast gently as he sucked your nipple between his lips. Your grip on his hair tightened as his tongue circled the peak.
"JJ–"
He pulled back, breath warm against the wet skin. "Like that?"
You nodded, humming softly as he did it again.
His hand slid your dress up over your stomach, bunching the fabric around your waist before his fingers traced the edge of your bikini bottoms, light and teasing enough to make your thighs tremble.
"You’re shakin'," he said, smiling at the fact he could make your body react like that.
"Because you’re being slow on purpose."
He laughed, and the familiar sound of it cracked something open inside you because this was still JJ. Still the boy who used to catch crabs and chase you with them and who taught you how to gut a fish.
Still your best friend.
"Patience, Shrimp."
"Oh my god. Again?"
"What, you thought I was gonna be smooth now? Disappointed?"
"Devastated."
His grin flashed in the dark. Then he kissed a soft, open mouthed line down your stomach and your teasing dissolved into a gasp.
His fingers hooked the fabric of your bottoms, pulling them aside. Then his tongue was on you.
Your hips jerked and a strangled sound clawed its way out of your throat. "J–holy shit–"
Your hands found his hair again and held on.
He was slow at first, exploratory, learning the shape of you. Then he found your clit and sucked and you practically squealed.
"Mmm s'fucking sweet... Knew you would be."
He began to practically probe his tongue into you and you melted into the leaves.
It didn't take long for you to get there.
"God, you're so good at that," you whined. "Feels so good. Want you to do this to me every day."
He smiled wide. "Boyfriend duties?"
"Mmhmm."
He laughed against you and the vibration nearly undid you right then and there. Your thighs began to shake for a different reason now.
"Gonna come already?" He looked up, eyes half lidded and glinting. Drunk off the taste of you. "We just started."
"Shut up."
"That a yes?"
You wanted to say something clever. Something sharp to wipe that stupid smug look off his face. But he did something with his tongue, fast and precise, and all that came out was a desperate, pitiful whine.
"That’s what I thought."
His mouth worked you with a patience you didn’t know he had. Slow circles. Quick flicks. A rhythm that built and retreated and built again until your thighs were clamped around his head and your chest was heaving.
"Right there," you gasped. "Right there, don’t stop–don't–oh my god, just like that– JJ, JJ..."
He didn’t stop. He pressed a hand flat against your lower belly, holding you steady, and sucked hard until you came apart with a cry that echoed off the driftwood walls.
It rolled through you in long waves. Your fingers twisted in his hair and he worked you through it, completely burying his face into you until you were trembling and oversensitive and pushing weakly at his forehead.
He pulled back after a moment, mouth wet and shining, looking insufferably pleased with himself.
Your bottoms were gone a moment later, tugged down your legs and tossed somewhere into the dark. You heard him fumble with his shorts, the sound of a zipper, and then the crinkle of foil.
Your pulse hammered. You propped yourself up on your elbows and in the moonlight you saw the outline of him as he rolled on a condom.
Your eyes widened a bit. "Damn, JJ."
He paused and looked up. "What?"
"You know what."
Even in the dark you could see the corner of his lips twitch.
"I’m serious. That’s– like. Okay. Wow."
He ducked his head, a boyish laugh escaping him. "That make you nervous?"
You shrugged a little.
He crawled back over you, hands planting beside your head. His face hovered inches from yours, expression more serious now. "You sure?" he asked. "We don't have to. We can just go back and–"
"JJ."
"I mean it. I don’t wanna mess this up. You’re–you’re really important to me. You know that, right?"
Your throat tightened. You reached up and cupped his face. "I’m sure. I want this. I want you."
He exhaled and nodded, then pushed in slow, inch by inch. The sound that came out of your mouth didn’t even sound like you–a high, breathless whimper that mixed with his low groan.
"Oh my god," you breathed, fingers digging into his shoulders. "You’re really big."
JJ stopped moving. His forehead dropped to yours, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "You okay? You need me to–"
"I’m okay. I’m good. Just–" You let out a shaky laugh. "Give me a second."
"Take all the time you need." His voice was strained, but his thumb traced your cheekbone.
You looked so gorgeous as moonlight filtered through the driftwood and painted silver lines across your face. Fucking unreal.
"Not goin' anywhere."
He stared down at you, lips slightly parted as he held himself still, watching you as your body adjusted and stretched around him.
"Okay," you whispered finally. "Move. Please move."
He did. Slow, shallow strokes at first, barely pulling out before sinking back in. Your back arched and your head tipped into the leaves, a sound like a sob catching in your throat.
"Jesus," he muttered, eyes locked on where your bodies joined. "You’re so fucking tight."
"JJ–"
"You feel that? You feel how good you’re takin' me?"
You couldn’t answer. Could only nod, hands sliding up his neck, pulling him down so you could kiss him.
His mouth was soft but his rhythm was deliberate, each thrust a little deeper, and when he angled your thigh up with his hand, hooking your leg over his hip, you gasped into his mouth.
"JJ... JJ... fuck..."
He pulled back, a crooked grin cutting through the intensity. "Yeah? You like that, princess?"
"Yes," you breathed, nodding quickly.
He grinned even more crookedly now. "You like that... Shrimp?" he asked quieter.
A laugh sputtered out of you. "God, you’re the worst."
"And yet." He thrust a little harder and your eyes rolled back a bit. "You’re the one moanin' my name."
He wasn’t wrong.
Minutes passed. Maybe longer. His hips rolled in a slow, steady grind and pleasure built behind your ribs, hot and tight.
"I still can’t believe this is happening," you said, voice barely above a whisper.
He kissed the corner of your mouth. "Me neither."
"Like–you. Me. This fort. After everything."
"I know." Another kiss. "I know, baby."
Baby. The word landed even harder than it had earlier when he was pretending and your stomach tightened almost excitedly at the sound of it.
"I wanna get on top," you said suddenly.
He pulled back, eyebrows lifting. "Yeah?"
"Please."
He didn’t need to be told twice. His hands found your hips and he rolled, pulling you with him, and suddenly you were straddling his lap and he was sitting up, back against the driftwood wall. The new angle made you both groan.
You sank down onto him and your hands flew to his shoulders. His flew to your waist.
His eyes fluttered shut as you began to bounce slowly. "Shit... so deep."
"There you go," he rasped, head tipping back. "That’s it. Ride that dick, baby."
A thrill shot through you at those filthy words coming from his mouth and you started to move faster, figuring out the rhythm. His hands slid up your sides to your breasts and then back down. His mouth found yours and the kiss was all tongue and teeth and pure desperation.
"God, look at you," he breathed against your lips. "You’re so fucking pretty. Y'know that? You know how pretty you are?"
Heat rushed to your cheeks as you continued to move on his lap.
"I’m serious." He pulled back. "When I saw you again–that first time, at the Chateau? Before I even knew it was you–I thought, shit. That might be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen."
Your rhythm stuttered. "Really?"
"Yeah."
You laughed, leaning forward to kiss him again. "I couldn’t even believe how hot you got."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. You were all sweaty and shirtless and I was like are you fucking kidding me? That’s JJ?"
He grinned wide at this.
You hummed, thumb brushing his dimple and smiling back harder. "So fucking handsome."
He smiled even wider. His hands tightened on your waist and he thrust up into you, meeting you in the middle.
You whimpered loudly, nails digging into his shoulders. The rhythm found itself again. Faster now. Slick and urgent and building.
"So good," you panted. "You feel so good, JJ. Filling me so good."
His eyes dropped to your mouth, then lower to where your breast was exposed from where he pulled down your dress, then back up with a smirk. "You still sure you don’t want some Kook?"
The laugh that burst out of you was completely involuntary. "Oh my god, are you serious right now?"
"Just checking."
You whined as you ground again him desperately. "Fuck Kooks."
He groaned at that and his hips bucked hard. "Fuck me."
"Ah! Shit, JJ...That’s what I’m doing."
He pulled you down onto him with a force that made you gasp. "You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that, girl?"
You giggled and he kissed you, deep and messy.
"You really are."
Your hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, fingers splaying over the muscle beneath his shirt. His slid from your waist to your ass, guiding your rhythm. The air was thick with the sound of skin on skin, of breathless moans and whispered praise.
"You’re perfect. God, you’re fucking perfect."
You leaned in and kissed him softly. "I’m close."
"Me too. Come on. Come with me."
Your hips moved desperately against him until the pleasure snapped and you cried out his name as your orgasm ripped through you. He followed half a second later, a guttural sound tearing from his throat as his hands clamped down on your hips, holding you against him so that he was as deep as he could go.
You felt him pulse inside you. Felt the way his whole body shuddered. Felt his forehead drop to your shoulder as he rode it out.
For a long moment, both of you just sat there like that. Just breathing and trembling and holding each other.
Then you felt his shoulders shake and a quiet laugh escaped him. Then a louder one and then you were laughing too.
"Did that actually just happen?" you asked through your giggles.
"I think so."
"In the fort."
"In the goddamn fort." He shook his head, still laughing. "Might be the most ridiculous thing we've ever done."
"It might be."
You eased up off of him, wincing slightly, then flopped onto your back beside him.
He slowly pulled his shorts back on and then lay down next to you, propping himself on one elbow. "You okay?"
"I’m amazing."
"Yeah?"
"Mmhm."
He leaned down and kissed you, soft and tender this time. A kiss that felt a lot like love.
Then you kissed him again. And again. In zero rush to get back to the beach.
🍫Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem Routledge Cousin!Reader
🍫Request: You're John B's Cousin and you visited the OBX every summer for years as a kid, becoming especially close with JJ to the point where you jokingly became fake boyfriend and girlfriend.
When you move across the world for five years, it absolutely destroys him. But suddenly you and your mom move back to NC, to the OBX, and you both realize that your feelings for each other never left.
Over the next two weeks, Rafe tipped you over five hundred dollars total.
Every time you'd serve him was the same: Another huge tip. Compliment after compliment. Another attempt at flirting even though you'd never flirt back.
At first, it was harmless. He was just like any other guy at the country club, just a bigger tipper. But then he really began to pursue you... very persistently at that.
"You're seriously the only reason I come to this course anymore."
"You say that to all the beverage cart girls?"
"Nope. Just you."
You shook your head and smiled that polite smile that you'd gotten pretty good at as you walked to your cooler.
"You busy Friday?"
You turned and handed him his beer, still trying to smile. "I'm actually not dating right now."
Which was true, but only because every romantic thought in your brain was reserved for JJ. The idea of being with anybody else didn't even cross your mind.
Rafe nodded slowly like he accepted the answer, but then he kept trying anyway like he didn't know what it meant to be told no.
Classic Kook behavior.
And honestly, after a while, it started stressing you out a little. Because every time he handed you another fifty or hundred dollar bill, guilt twisted in your stomach like somehow you owed him something now. Which you absolutely did not.
But still.
Meanwhile, JJ had started acting weirder than ever. He wasn't being mean or cold or anything like that, but you were starting to doubt more and more that he felt the same way.
He still laughed at your jokes and looked at you first when he walked into a room and sat beside you every chance he got, but he was just suddenly so strangely distant and you couldn't figure out why.
He didn't text as much or call you just because and when you hung out with him and the Pogues it was like he was constantly somewhere else mentally even while sitting beside you.
He'd be in a good mood and you'd be laughing together and then it's like a flip switched and suddenly he wouldn't be the JJ you knew anymore. His smile would disappear and he'd become quiet and completely withdrawn.
And it was only because every time you smiled at him or laughed he'd wonder:
Does she smile at them like that?
Does she sound the same when she laughs at their jokes or grab their arms to steady herself?
Is somebody with more money, more stability, more everything going to realize how incredible you are and take you away from me?
Especially because in JJ's mind... why wouldn't you choose them eventually?
If you did actually have any feelings for him at all, you probably just hadn't realized yet that you could do better.
And he did believe you deserved better.
You wondered if he was just acting like this was just because he was tired, because he began to work constantly. Longer and longer hours at the car shop. More and more odd jobs on the side.
He looked more exhausted every single time you saw him.
What you didn't realize was that the reason he was suddenly working himself half to death was because JJ had decided if rich Kooks were gonna compete for your attention, then he at least needed to try becoming somebody who deserved you first.
And because you didn't realize this, it actually really hurt. Because you genuinely thought something was happening between the two of you– about to happen, even. You had been closer than ever and then out of the blue he was just pulling away like none of it mattered at all.
You'd lay in bed some nights staring at your phone debating texting him: Did I do something?
But then you'd remember the dark circles under his eyes lately or how tired he'd sounded earlier and you tried to convince yourself that it was just that.
Of course, every single one of the Pogues noticed exactly what was happening.
"Dude," Kiara finally said one night after you went inside to shower. "You're being so weird. Are you good?"
"I'm tired." He shrugged, staring out at the marsh. "My bad."
But they all knew. And they all saw the way that he was looking at you more than ever, all sad and longing and mopey like he missed you even though you were only a few feet away. And how, ever since you got that job, all he could think about was everything he couldn't give you.
Even though you didn't think like that at all.
He was actually your favorite thing in the world and how happy he made you and how much fun the two of you had and how much he cared about you was literally all that mattered.
One afternoon after work, you tried buying him a new pair of boots because his current pair were practically falling apart and JJ looked genuinely offended.
"Absolutely not."
You groaned. "Oh my god, JJ, just let me buy them for you. Please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not letting you become my sugar mama."
You burst out laughing. "You are so dramatic."
"I'm so serious."
You crossed your arms. "You've always got me stuff."
"That's different."
"How?"
He shrugged awkwardly, eyes flicking away from yours. "I dunno. Feels different when rich dudes throw money at my friend because she's pretty and then she tries spending it on me."
You immediately felt warmth creep into your cheeks.
So, he doesn't just think I'm pretty in his dreams.
You giggled, batting your lashes up at him. "You think I'm prettyyy?"
He scoffed, looking anywhere but at you. "I mean–yeah? I've literally always said that."
"Oh yeah," you teased softly, a smile tugging at your lips. "Boyfriend duties."
That made him smile a little too, but not like usual. It didn't exactly reach his eyes and there was something behind them you couldn't read for the life of you.
"Yeah," he mumbled. "Boyfriend duties." Then he looked away before you could think too hard about the expression on his face.
A few days later, at the end of your Friday shift, you were wiping down the cart when somebody knocked lightly against the side of it. You looked up and nearly sighed out loud.
Rafe. And he was holding a bouquet of roses.
Are you fucking serious.
"You're kidding," you laughed.
He grinned. "I'm very serious."
You stared at him for a second before taking them. "They're really pretty. Thank you."
"Still no date though?"
You rolled your eyes, smiling. "Rafe."
"What?" He leaned against the golf cart dramatically. "Come onnn. What does a guy gotta do to take the prettiest girl on the island out just one time?"
You laughed softly and shook your head, flustered.
"Do I gotta get on my knees and beg?"
You snorted. "Your friends would never let you live that down."
"I don't care what they think." He tilted his head slightly. "Would you like to see it?"
You laughed harder at that, cheeks a little warm, more from nerves than anything else. "Okay, honestly? That would be pretty entertaining."
"So there's a chance?"
"No."
He groaned loudly, dragging a hand down his face. "What'll it take then?"
You thought for a second of something he wouldn't part with for anything, with the little information you had about him, before smiling innocently. "That boat you were showing me pictures of the other day might do it."
He pointed at you immediately. "Absolutely not. That boat is my baby, sweetheart."
You shrugged. "Then I guess we're outta luck."
"But," he added quickly, "I'd happily take you out on it."
You opened your mouth to reject him again automatically, but instead, for some stupid reason, what came out was:
"I'll think about it."
The second the words left your mouth, regret slammed into you. You don't know why you said it, because you didn't mean that. You were just a little overwhelmed and didn't know what else to say in the moment.
His entire face lit up immediately. "Oh yeah?"
You tucked hair behind your ear awkwardly and shrugged. "Maybe."
Fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?
"I'll take maybe." Then he reached into his wallet again.
You groaned. "Rafe–"
"Relax."
He held out a fifty between two fingers and you slowly took it even though you felt like you shouldn't. It almost didn't even make you feel excited anymore.
"Have a good weekend."
You shook your head. "You are actually insane."
"That's not a no to the boat though," he called while walking backward toward his golf cart.
You laughed helplessly. "Bye, Rafe."
"Bye, gorgeous."
He drove off leaving you standing there holding roses in one hand and fifty dollars in the other. You stared down at both for a long second, then once he was out of sight you covered your face with the flowers.
"Goddammit."
JJ saw the flowers the second you rode your bike up the Chateau driveway and his stomach dropped.
"Ooooh my god," Sarah said, grinning as you walked over to where they were hanging out by the firepit.
Kiara pointed at them. "Same guy?"
"Yuuup."
JJ leaned back in the lawn chair staring at the flowers in your hand way too hard trying to keep from looking too tortured.
You tossed them into Kiara's lap. "Here. You guys can have them."
JJ's lips twitched just a little.
Kiara blinked. "You don't want them?"
You plopped into the chair beside JJ with a sigh and grabbed a drink from the cooler between you. "I just feel weird about it."
"Why?" Sarah asked.
You shrugged. "Because I keep telling him no every time he asks me on dates and I feel kinda bad. I don't even feel right taking tips from him anymore."
Sarah waved a hand immediately. "Girl, keep taking his money. He'll survive."
You laughed softly. "Yeah. I know."
JJ stayed quiet beside you.
You took a sip of your seltzer. "But uh... he offered to take me out on his boat too... Anddd... I might've said I'd think about it." you admitted, cringing at yourself
JJ's stomach dropped again, harder than it ever had. His brows pinched together and his fingers tightened around the bottle he was holding so hard his knuckles turned white.
Yep. It's finally happening.
John B's eyes widened. "You said what?"
"Not because I actually want to! I was just stressed out and he kept asking and the people pleaser in me just came out–"
JJ felt the smallest bit better but he was still not happy.
"But why would you say that?" John B asked, laughing. "That was like the worst possible thing you could say."
You winced. "I know! I don't know! I panicked!"
JJ finally laughed once under his breath. "Well that definitely won't make him back off now," he muttered.
You looked over at him. "I know."
He nodded once but didn't say anything else.
Kiara tilted her head. "What's this guy's name anyways?"
You shrugged, staring down at the drink in your hands as you nervously played with the tab. "Rafe… I dunno his last name though."
Everybody froze.
JJ actually shut his eyes. "Oh my god."
You looked around slowly. "What? You guys know him?"
Pope nodded. "Oh, we know Rafe."
Sarah covered her mouth. "That's my brother."
Your jaw dropped. "Oh... well… shit."
Everybody burst out laughing and groaning at the exact same time except JJ, who looked like he was actively fighting for his life.
You laughed too at first, turning toward him automatically, then stopped when you saw his face.
"Jayj?" you asked carefully. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he muttered instantly.
"JJ."
He took a long sip of beer. "I just fucking hate that guy." Then he stood abruptly before anybody else could answer. "I'm getting another drink."
John B pointed at the cooler. "There's beer literally right there."
He shook his head as he walked towards the house. "I don't want that."
You watched the screen door slam behind him, confused. "Is he ok?"
Everybody exchanged looks like they couldn't believe you hadn't caught on.
"What?"
Cleo finally sighed. "Oh, girl."
Your eyes flicked to her. "What?"
Kiara pointed toward the house like it was obvious. "He's jealous because he likes you. And the guy who's been spoiling you the last two weeks being the guy he hates the most is kinda the cherry on top."
You barked out a laugh immediately. "He doesn't like me like that. And he's definitely not jealous." You looked over at your cousin.
"Yes he is," John B confirmed.
Pope nodded. "Yep."
Kiara stared at you. "Y/N, are you serious?"
You looked between all of them now. "Guys, no. I thought maybe he did for like... a second? But he's been acting all weird and distant and–"
"Yeah, because of this," Kiara said, picking up the flowers and shaking them.
"Definitely because of that," Cleo agreed.
Sarah nodded sadly. "He's been super down on himself ever since you got that job. He tries to be happy for you but he probably thinks you're gonna fall for some Kook."
Your face softened a little at the possibility of that.
"He'd never actually say that though," Kiara said. "He just pushes everything down and lets it eat him alive. He hasn't been this bad since you moved away."
You looked toward the house again, stomach twisting now, but still not fully convinced. But maybe...
"Did he say he liked me?"
Kiara shook her head. "Nah. Of course not. It's just kinda insanely obvious. Like beyond insanely."
You really wished you could believe them. "I'm gonna go check on him," you said, standing slowly.
"Yeah," Sarah said, smiling softly. "You should probably do that."
You found JJ in the kitchen pouring way too much Jack Daniels into a red plastic cup. Then a single eensie weensie splash of coke.
"Hey."
He jumped slightly at the sound of your voice as it snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Sorry," you said immediately, giggling. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"You're good." He looked over at you for a second, then turned back toward his drink. "Hey."
You approached him carefully, leaning your hip against the counter beside him. "You okay?"
"Yeah," he said immediately before taking a sip. "M'fine."
You studied him for a second and it was pretty obvious that he wasn't fine. You knew what fine JJ looked like. But you decided not to press too hard and towards his drink. "Lemme try that."
He glanced at you before handing it over.
You took way too big a sip and your face twisted. "Oh my god, JJ." You coughed a little then laughed. "Jesus. Are you sure you're fine?"
His lips twitched up just a bit against his will. "What? Why?"
"That's just... intense."
"It's called a Jack and Coke, princess."
You snorted and handed it back. "That's not a Jack and Coke, that's JACK!! ...andadropofCoke."
He laughed for maybe the first time that day–at least for real–and took the cup back while you gagged dramatically beside him.
You watched him take another sip with zero reaction and your stomach twisted nervously again. "Can I ask you something?"
He leaned back against the counter, a little nervous now himself. "Shoot."
You chewed your lip for a second. "Are... um... are you jealous or something?"
He nearly choked. "What?"
You immediately started backtracking. "I just mean–you've been acting weird and–I don't know–"
He shook his head way too fast. "Jealous? Nah."
You watched him carefully.
He sighed and leaned back against the counter, swirling the ice around in his drink. "I just hate that guy."
You nodded a little, even more curious about if he really was now. "I figured."
"Yeah well." He shrugged. "You know most of the story already."
You did. You'd pieced together pretty quickly that Rafe Cameron was responsible for about eighty percent of the chaos in the Pogues' lives the last few years.
Then one detail hit you specifically hard.
"Oh my god," you said quietly, eyes widening as you looked over at him. "Wait… he's the one who shot the sheriff!?"
He glanced over at you for a second. "Yep. That would be him."
You just stared at him, a weird cold feeling creeping up your spine suddenly, because this wasn't just some rich flirtatious Kook anymore, this was the guy who got your cousin thrown in jail. And not to mention somebody capable of murder.
"Oh god..." you mumbled, staring at the ground now.
"He also tried to drown Sarah once," JJ added casually.
Your head snapped back up. "Wait... what the fuck!?"
"Yeah."
"What do you mean tried to drown her?"
His jaw tightened as he thought about it. "All coked out trying to protect his psycho dad."
"Oh my god." You swallowed and went back to staring at nothing for a second as you processed the situation. "...Sooo that's the guy who's obsessed with me. Cool. Cool cool cool."
JJ noticed how nervous you got and immediately reached out to gently squeeze your wrist. "Hey."
You looked at him.
"You're okay," he said softly. "Alright? He's not gonna do anything to you."
You nodded, chewing your lip.
He kept his hand around your wrist for another second before letting go slowly. "If he ever makes you too uncomfortable, you call me. Alright?"
Your heart squeezed immediately at how serious he sounded and you smiled just a bit. "Okay."
"I'm serious." He glanced over at you now. "I don't care what time it is. Or what I'm in the middle of. I'll be there."
"I know," you said quietly. "Thank you, Jayj."
He nodded once and took another sip of his drink.
The kitchen went quiet for a second after that other than the muffled laughter and music from outside.
Then JJ sighed through his nose. "I lied earlier."
Your head snapped towards him, brows furrowing. "About what?"
"To be honest..." he mumbled. "I was a little jealous."
You stared at him for a second, heart beating a little faster, because that genuinely caught you off guard. "You were?"
"Just a little." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I dunno. I just...we all just finally got you back. Then you got that job and suddenly all these rich Kooks are flirtin' with you and throwin' money at you and... And I guess I got freaked out some Kook was gonna steal you away or somethin'."
Your entire expression softened instantly. "Oh..."
"And they definitely wouldn't love you hangin' around me all the time," he added.
That made your chest ache a little, especially after feeling like he had stopped caring about you as much.
Without even thinking about it, you stepped closer and wrapped your arms around him.
He immediately melted into it, having been a little touch starved after spending the last two weeks distancing himself from you. One arm slid around your waist while the other kept holding his drink.
"That's not gonna happen," you mumbled against his shoulder. "I don't want some Kook."
He smiled a little into your hair, because those might've been the best words he'd ever heard even if he had a hard time believing them.
"And nobody's keeping me from hanging out with you," you continued softly. "You're my best friend."
Something in his chest loosened at that, just a little, and he smiled. "You're mine too."
You pulled back enough to look up at him and the way he was looking at you made you nervous to the point that you couldn't hold eye contact for long. Then your eyes caught on the way his collar was folded all weird and you reached up to fix it.
"I've missed you lately," you said quietly, pouting a little. "You haven't been yourself."
JJ looked down at you fixing his shirt and something about that and the way your bottom lip poked out just a little made him forget how to breathe for a second. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that someone like you thought he was worth caring for. Worth missing
"Sorry," he said quietly. "Been tired, I guess."
"You don't have to be sorry. And I bet you have been. You've been working way too much, like, an unhealthy amount." You smoothed his collar down one more time and let your fingers rest against his neck for a moment. "You gotta take care of yourself, JJ."
He nodded. "Yeah."
Your hand slid down and lingered against his chest for another second before you smiled up at him again, bright and sweet enough to make every thought in his mind disappear other than how painfully in love with you he really was.
"I wanna have fun with you tonight," you said. "No more broody JJ. Just let yourself relax for a few hours?"
His mouth twitched up immediately, heart swelling. "Well how'm I supposed to say no to that?"
"You're not."
He shook his head smiling and moved around you toward the counter again. "Alright, hold on."
You watched curiously while he grabbed another cup. "What're you doing?"
"Making you a drink. This one's for babies," he said, pouring maybe 80% less Jack in the Coke and handing the cup over. "Try that."
You took a careful sip this time.
"Better?"
You nodded, smiling over the rim at him. "Way better."
JJ smiled hard. "Yeah?"
"Mmhmm."
He grabbed his own drink again and tilted his head toward the porch. "C'mon then, princess. Let's have fun."
"Please." You smiled even harder and followed him back outside, bumping into him lightly on purpose as he opened the screen door for you.
As JJ watched you skip ahead of him, he finally actually began to feel a little okay again.
The next morning, you woke up in the same clothes from yesterday feeling like you might actually be actively dying. Your head pounded immediately the second your slightly swollen eyes cracked open.
You barely even remembered going to sleep.
The Jack and Cokes had started going down like water and you and JJ had in fact had a very fun night... to the point where you were falling all over the place and you were both banned from being within six feet of the fire.
At one point, you and JJ had somehow ended up wrestling in the grass like you were twelve again.
"You cheater!" you laughed as he caught both your wrists.
"I ain't cheatin'," he argued, grinning as he pinned you to the ground.
"You are!"
"Nah. You're pinned, Princess. Admit it."
You squirmed and kicked beneath him, giggling nonstop, mostly at the fact that he was on top of you. And he watched you, sweaty hair falling into his eyes as you stared up at him chewing your bottom lip, holding you there easily and grinning way too hard.
Then John B appeared out of nowhere.
"Alright, that's enough," he laughed, grabbing JJ by the back of his shirt and hauling him off you. "She's done."
"Noooo!" you protested immediately, reaching toward him. "I could take him! Let him go!"
JJ barked out a laugh, cheeks pink. "Yeahh, okay, Shrimp."
The last thing you really remembered kind of clearly was laying in the hammock with him smoking a joint that you didn't need and talking (or trying to talk) about something stupid while his fingers lazily pushed your hair away from your face every few minutes.
Then… blank.
You frowned in confusion and sat up carefully, immediately regretting it when your world tilted a little. Then you remembered that you'd said that you'd go to your first Boneyard bonfire tonight and you gagged a little at the idea of drinking again.
Hopefully you'd feel like a human being by then.
A full glass of water sat on the nightstand beside you and smiled, figuring you knew exactly who had left it there for you.
You grabbed it and chugged half the glass desperately before setting it back down with a gasp.
Better. Slightly. Barely.
Now you just needed painkillers. Preferably fourteen of them.
You leaned over and opened the drawer of JJ's nightstand to see if you could find anything and snorted at the chaos that awaited you inside.
It was exactly what you'd expect: There was a handgun shoved in the back corner beside a box of bullets. A few lighters. A bag of fishing lures. Gum wrappers. A pocketknife. Half a pack of cigarettes that he only smoked "sometimes." His glass weed bowl. A tiny bottle of sunscreen. Lotion. Tissues. A crumpled gas station receipt. Some candy.
You dug around for another second before finally finding a bottle of Tylenol shoved beside a small wooden box.
"Thank god."
You took two quickly with another sip of water, then paused, staring at the wooden box that sat there beside your hand, curiosity immediately kicking in.
You knew you really shouldn't snoop, but... You glanced toward the door guiltily before slowly lifting the lid, unable to stop yourself.
Pictures sat stacked inside and you picked the first one up. It was you and JJ as kids at the beach, both sunburnt and smiling with matching missing teeth. Then one of all the Pogues crammed together on the HMS Pogue when Big John had first gotten it. Another was of JJ giving you a piggyback ride on the dock. Then the next one had been taken moments later when he jumped into the water with you still on him without warning.
You smiled as you flipped through them. Your chest tightened a little when you got through the stack and noticed what else was inside: A tiny toy skateboard you'd got him from a fifty cent toy vending machine. A bracelet you remember accidentally leaving in the bathroom your last day here. A handful of shells you'd collected together. A faded movie ticket stub to a movie you didn't end up seeing because you snuck into one that was rated R instead. Little drawings you made for him.
Your heart was beating harder now.
Then you picked up one folded drawing and something slipped from between the pages and fell on your lap...
A Hershey's Kiss wrapper.
You froze, slowly covering your mouth with a hand, then picked it up and held it between your fingers.
No way.
You stared at it for a long moment, thumb brushing softly over the crinkled foil.
"Oh my god," you whispered, stomach fluttering violently, because nobody kept things like this unless they mattered. Unless you mattered.
You put everything back exactly how you found it, shutting the lid softly before laying back against JJ's pillow again. A huge smile spread slowly across your face despite how shitty you felt physically, because maybe you weren't crazy after all.
Maybe JJ actually did feel the same.
By the time the sun started setting that night, after heading home to shower, taking some Liquid IV and a nap, and after you did your make up and put on a cute little dress, you were feeling much better off.
Especially after you noticed JJ give you a quick up and down the moment he saw you.
You stood beside him at the boneyard, arms crossed over your chest as you stared at the coolers across the beach.
"I can't believe I'm about to drink again."
He snorted. "Just took a shot. It really helped actually."
You shook your head with a smile. "That's troubling."
"It's science."
"Alcoholic science... We're gonna feel even worse tomorrow."
"Probably."
You narrowed your eyes at him, still smiling.
"Future me's problem." He shrugged. "You don't gotta drink if you don't want to though." He nudged your shoulder with his. "I'll do it in your honor."
"Nah," you said, smiling wider. "I missed all the other bonfires."
JJ looked over.
You lifted your chin. "So tonight I'm getting the full Pogue experience."
A grin spread slowly across his face and he raised a brow. "Oh yeah?"
"Damn right. I'm gettin' wastey faced... Again."
He squeezed your shoulder and shook it gently. "That's my girl."
You giggled, loving those words more than you'd care to admit.
"Alright then," he nodded, wrapping his arm around your shoulders now and leading you toward the coolers. "C'mon. Let's get you wastey faced."
Your thoughts kept drifting as you watched him dig through the ice. You hadn't stopped thinking about the Hershey's kiss wrapper all day and wondering what it meant that he'd kept it all these years.
JJ pulled a knife from his pocket before stabbing a beer and handing it to you. "You ready?"
You nodded and linked your arm with his before beginning to count down.
"Three."
"Two."
"One!"
You both shotgunned your beers at the same time, but being way less experienced, you immediately burst into coughing halfway through yours while JJ laughed so hard he nearly spilled his own.
"Oh my god!" you wheezed.
"You suckkkk."
You shoved him, laughing. "I'm new at this!" Cough. "There wasn't a lot of shotgunning beers going on in Argentina, ok!?"
Then your eyes drifted past his shoulder and landed on none other than Rafe fucking Cameron.
He was standing with a group of Kooks and already looking directly at you. At you and JJ together. Like he was analyzing the two of you.
You lifted your hand awkwardly, even as your stomach twisted with nerves after what you had recently learned.
He gave a lazy little wave back, smiling, but not at all in the way he did on the golf course. He honestly looked kinda angry. Or frustrated. Or both.
Beside you, JJ turned to see who you were looking at and his smile dropped.
You and him both grabbed another beer without saying anything and starting back toward your friends.
"Aw," you mumbled sarcastically. "Your best friend's here."
JJ snorted. "Your biggest tipper's here."
"He's probably wondering what the hell I'm doing hanging out with you guys."
JJ glanced sideways at you. "Probably."
"I'm pretty sure he has no idea that I'm John B's cousin."
"Mhm."
You looked over at him. "You good?"
"What? Yeah."
"You hate him so much."
JJ scoffed. "You don't after finding out that he's the one who framed JB?"
You laughed into your drink. "Oh, I'm definitely not a fan."
One beer turned into another.
Then shots.
Then hard seltzers.
Then another beer.
The bonfire got louder and warmer and fuzzier until you officially crossed into fully wastey faced territory.
Your laugh came easier.
And so did JJ's hands. Not inappropriate or too much, just a bit more than usual, which you honestly didn't mind at all.
He'd place a hand on your lower back to help guide you through crowds or sling his arm across your shoulders.
At one point you were dancing together, laughing, while JJ spun you dramatically beneath his arm. You stumbled, crashing into his chest afterward, and his hands caught your waist. And stayed there.
He looked down at you, smiling hard, and your heart stumbled as bad as you just had. Maybe worse.
Then across the beach, you spotted Rafe again, still looking between you and JJ. And so were his friends, looking just as disapproving.
The second he realized you'd caught him, he looked away and took a drink.
"Oh my godddd," you mumbled through your teeth. "He won't stop staring."
JJ's grin turned slightly cocky. "Let him."
You began to wonder if all the touching tonight meant something. Or if maybe he was trying to prove something, like that you were really his, even if technically you weren't.
And you hoped it did.
At one point you were sitting with Kiara, Sarah and Cleo while the boys argued loudly near the fire over some sort of plan to start a Charter business.
You were halfway through your drink when Sarah smirked at you over the rim of hers. "Sooo."
You raised your eyebrows immediately, thinking you knew what was coming. And you were right.
"Oh no."
"Oh yes," Cleo laughed.
Kiara pointed toward the boys. "You and JJ need to stop playing games and just get together already. I'm sick of this."
Heat rushed to your cheeks. "Whaaaat?"
"Girl, don't play dumb," Sarah smirked. "That man has not been able to keep his eyes or hands off you all night."
"And honestly?" Cleo added. "I think we know why."
You blinked.
Sarah glanced over toward another part of the beach where the Kooks were gathered. "My brother can't keep his eyes off you either."
You looked over at Rafe again. "I noticed."
JJ was currently doubled over laughing while Pope tried shoving John B into the sand, and the way his blond hair glowed in front of the firelight made him look so beautiful he almost hurt to look at.
You loved him so much it hurt.
As if sensing you looking at him, JJ glanced over. The second he saw you, he smiled in a way that almost made your throat close up.
You smiled back, then you looked back at the girls and sighed. "Okay... I like him a lot... I like him so much."
"I KNEW IT. Told you we weren't dumb."
"Ugh, finally!"
"Thank you!"
You laughed, kind of embarrassed but also too drunk to really care. It actually felt kind of good to say it out loud. "Oh my god, shut up."
You bit your lip before looking back toward JJ again. Then something occurred to you. "Wait."
The girls looked at you, waiting.
"Did JJ ever tell you guys we kissed?"
All three of them froze.
Sarah blinked. "Um."
Cleo's jaw dropped.
Kiara sat up straighter. "No he absolutely did not."
Your eyes widened. "He didn't?"
"Nope. Spill."
You laughed softly in disbelief that he had kept that special little moment just between the two of you. "The last day we were together before I moved away, we had our first kiss in the driftwood fort we built." You pointed vaguely toward the woods. "Out there."
All three girls stared at you, jaws dropped.
"We just wanted to see what it felt like. We called it a fake kiss." You laughed softly at the memory. "But it felt really real. All two or three or however many seconds of it."
Sarah literally grabbed her chest. "That's so cute."
Kiara nodded, piecing everything together now. "Ahh, that's why he was extra weird after you went home that summer."
Your cheeks got warmer as you thought about the box in his nightstand.
"I actually do think..." You hesitated, playing with a little shell in the sand. "I think there might really be a chance he feels the same way."
They all squinted at you like they couldn't believe you were still questioning it.
"No, seriously. This morning I found this box in his nightstand with old stuff I'd given him. I know I shouldn't have been snooping but..."
Sarah's eyebrows shot up. "What kinda stuff?"
"Drawings. Pictures. A bracelet I accidentally left... And I swear he kept the wrapper from the Hershey's Kiss I gave him right before we kissed."
All three of them went dead silent for a second.
Cleo shook her head. "That man is in love with you."
Sarah giggled. "Are you kidding me?"
Kiara covered her smile. "He's obsessed."
You laughed into your drink.
Kiara shook her head. "Y/N, I don't think you understand. Even years after you moved away, if anybody brought you up he'd get all weird and quiet."
Your smile faded into something softer. "Really?"
"Yeah," Kiara said gently, squeezing your knee. "You're really special to him."
Sarah nodded. "And honestly? He's probably terrified."
"Of what?"
"Messing things up," Cleo said simply. "Making it weird. Losing you again."
You stared toward him for a second. He was still laughing and glowing by the firelight, adorable as ever. Handsome as ever. Still somehow the same free, careless, complicated boy you knew from all those years ago.
And maybe you were just as scared too.
You swallowed and nodded slowly. "Maybe I should say something."
All three girls immediately lit up.
"YES."
"Please."
You laughed and finished the last sip of your drink before standing. "I'm gonna drink on it."
Kiara smiled. "Good plan."
You pointed at them. "I'll be right back."
Unfortunately, Rafe immediately took you being separated from the Pogues as a chance to finally talk to you and find out what the hell was going on.
"Well there she is."
You looked up from the cooler you were digging through and saw him making his way toward you with a beer in his hand and that cocky grin he always wore around you, but there was something different in it this time.
"Hi, Rafe."
His presence made you more nervous than ever now.
He slowed slightly at your tone, because at the golf course you usually smiled automatically, all sweet and polite. Now you just looked strangely cautious.
His brows pulled together a little, although he was still smirking. It was almost like he was trying to intimate you. Like he was annoyed at the fact that you were giving JJ all your attention and not him.
"I'm a little confused."
You tried your best to hold his gaze and keep your face neutral. "Why's that?"
You knew why.
His eyes drifted past you toward where the Pogues were gathered. Specifically toward JJ.
"Just wondering what a girl like you doin' hangin' around JJ Maybank of all people."
Your eyebrows lifted. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothin'," he said casually, though it definitely wasn't nothing. "Just wouldn't recommend getting too attached to that dude."
You crossed your arms loosely. "Why?"
Rafe barked out a short laugh. "Because he's a jackass for one. And a tool. And," he continued, taking another drink, "far as I know, he's broke as shit too."
Your expression flattened a little instantly. "JJ's my best friend."
Rafe looked surprised for half a second, then amused. "Best friend?"
"Yeah." You shrugged. "Known him since we were kids."
"Interesting." He nodded slowly.
"Is it?"
He stepped a little closer. "You know, I could be your friend. Could show you a way better time. You're way too pretty to spend all your time babysitting those Pogues."
You laughed once, dryly. "They're my friends, Rafe."
"Mm." He tilted his head slightly. "Still think you'd have more fun with me."
You leaned back down and continued digging through the cooler beside you mostly to avoid the way he was looking at you. "Pretty sure you say that to every girl."
"No. I don't." He stepped closer again. "You're special."
You grabbed yourself another drink and stood back up only for him to casually touch your waist as he leaned in slightly.
Your body immediately stiffened.
"Rafe."
"What?"
"Stop."
He pulled his hand back after a second, but not before giving you a look like he thought you were just being shy.
And honestly? You suddenly wanted out of this conversation very badly.
Your eyes scanned the beach and landed directly on JJ.
He was standing near the fire, still talking to John B and Pope, when suddenly he began scanning the beach too at the same time.
He finally found you and your eyes widened just slightly.
Help.
You barely even mouthed it, but you didn't have to, because JJ instantly understood. His entire face changed in half a second. Then slowly, almost smugly, he smiled and started walking over.
You nearly sighed in relief.
He appeared beside you and casually wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
"Hey baby."
You looked up at him for one tiny stunned second before catching on. Then you smiled wide up at him. "Hi, Jayj."
JJ looked over at Rafe calmly. "Oh hey, Rafe."
Rafe blinked between both of you. "What the hell is this?"
JJ's arm tightened around you slightly. "What's it look like to you? Use context clues."
It took everything not to burst out laughing.
Rafe looked genuinely confused now, and genuinely frustrated as hell. "Since when?"
You answered immediately. "Last night."
JJ glanced down at you quickly, trying not to laugh too now.
Rafe scoffed loudly. "Yeah, okay. Miss ‘I'm not dating right now.'"
You shrugged innocently. "Things change."
"Didn't you literally just call him your best friend?"
"He is."
Rafe stared at you.
"Aww," JJ said, immediately leaning into the bit. "You called me your best friend? You're so cute, pretty girl."
He kissed the top of your head and you had to bite the inside of your cheek not to smile too hard, absolutely loving every second of this.
You looked up at him all doe eyed, completely in love. Method acting at its finest. "You are."
JJ smiled so hard his eyes crinkled. Also not acting.
Rafe pointed between the two of you suspiciously. "Nah. I don't buy this shit."
JJ finally dragged his eyes away from you and looked back at Rafe with a shrug. "Believe what you want. All I know," he continued, "is I'd appreciate you keeping your hands off my girl. No means no, man."
"Thank you," you said sweetly.
He smiled back down at you.
Rafe rolled his eyes hard. "Jesus Christ."
For a second, both of you forgot this was fake.
Rafe noticed that too and his expression shifted slightly. "…Right."
An awkward silence sat there for a second before JJ nodded toward the fire. "Well. We're gonna go do boyfriend girlfriend stuff now. Y'know… because she's my girlfriend... And stuff. Later Rafe."
You pressed your lips together, because it was getting harder and harder not to lose your shit.
That got a reluctant laugh out of Rafe despite himself. "You two are ridiculous."
"True." JJ nodded. "A broken clock is right twice a day I guess."
He steered you away by the waist and Rafe just stood there for a second, watching the two of you in complete confusion. He refused to believe that a girl like you would pick a Pogue like JJ Maybank over him.
But whatever.
The second you got far enough away from Rafe, both of you finally burst out laughing.
"Oh my god," you wheezed. "Boyfriend girlfriend stuff? Seriously? You should totally be one of those professional improv people," you said sarcastically.
JJ laughed. "Pretty genius, right? That totally sold it."
"Yeah, I'm not quite sure we had him totally convinced." You leaned against him giggling. "But, thank you. Seriously."
He looked down at you, smiling softer now. "Anytime, princess." Then his smirk came back slightly. "Think you just lost your main source of income though."
You groaned. "Damn. There goes my retirement plan."
JJ laughed and nudged your shoulder. "You'll be alright."
You looked up at him smiling at the way he was still holding your waist, slightly possessive even now. "Yeah. I'm not worried about it."
The two of you didn't stop there, enjoying your little game way too much as Rafe began watching even harder now. But it wasn't mainly about Rafe at all.
And the Pogues were thoroughly entertained by it all.
"Oh my god," Kiara laughed at one point, watching the two of you from across the fire. "This is literally them as kids all over again."
"Worse," John B corrected immediately.
"Way worse."
Cleo smiled at Pope. "They're kind of perfect for each other."
You sat comfortably between JJ's legs in the sand, back resting against his chest, talking softly about all the same dumb nonsense you always did, both of you in a world of your own. Both of you trying not to lose your minds.
Every few minutes he'd twist a strand of your hair around his finger or untangle a knot or scratch lightly against your scalp and every single time it made your lashes flutter a little.
At one point a particularly good scratch had you unconsciously humming.
JJ looked down at you and huffed out a laugh. "That feel good?"
"Mm yeah," you sighed, eyes shutting as you leaned further into him.
He swallowed, because you had absolutely no idea what you were doing to him. He figured had to be dreaming.
A minute later his hand stopped moving as he listened to something Pope was saying.
You lasted maybe three seconds before looking up. "Excuse me."
"Hm?"
"Did I tell you you could stop?"
JJ laughed softly. "Oh, my apologies, princess." He immediately went back to playing with your hair.
"Thank you."
"So demanding."
"Pretty sure this is boyfriend duties."
He shook his head, smiling to himself as he continued to happily give you exactly what you wanted.
A few seconds later you turned your head so you could look up at him. Both of you were a little drunk, smiling a little dopily, and for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you started giggling.
Then JJ started giggling, which only made you laugh harder.
Neither of you even knew what was funny anymore, except that this all felt so insanely easy. And terrifyingly right.
A little later Sarah and Kiara came back from the Twinkie carrying grocery bags.
"It's s'mores thirty!" Sarah announced.
You reached for a chocolate bar while JJ worked on getting your marshmallows roasted. The second you saw the Hershey's label, your chest squeezed.
JJ glanced over and caught you smiling.
Then you glanced at him sideways and caught him catching you.
"Don't," you warned, trying to stop, but you simply couldn't.
He laughed softly as he began to help you put together your s'mores. "I didn't say anything."
"Oh my god," Sarah suddenly said. "Rafe is STILL watching you two."
JJ barked out a laugh. "No way."
"He does not look happy."
"Well," you grinned, leaning closer into JJ, "we should probably give him a show then."
JJ looked down at you suspiciously. "You're enjoyin' this way too much."
"You aren't?"
"Little bit." He grinned and held up his s'more toward your mouth. "Here, baby."
John B covered his face. "I can't with you two anymore."
You giggled and leaned forward to take a bite. The marshmallow immediately messily stretched everywhere, chocolate smeared near your mouth and you laughed so hard you almost inhaled graham cracker crumbs.
JJ laughed so hard he fell back in the sand, dropping what was left of the s'more.
"Mmm, so romantic," you mumbled, mouth way too full.
A song you liked, Wrong Way by Sublime, started playing from somebody's speaker down the beach.
You gasped and grabbed JJ's wrist. "Oh my god I love this song. Get up get up."
JJ still couldn't stop laughing. "I can't get up."
"Get uppp."
He laid flat on his back trying to catch his breath. "I can't. Go on without me."
"Yes you can! You need to dance with me." You hauled him up off the ground by both hands. "Boyfriend duties!"
JJ stumbled a few yards down the sand with you towards the music, laughing more while you danced around him dramatically, singing way too loud.
Eventually he gave in and started dancing with you too, very terribly on purpose.
Your stomach actually hurt from laughing now.
Then the song changed and you clung onto his neck trying to catch your breath.
He looked down at you and suddenly all the voices and music around you started sounding far away at how close you both were.
You smiled up at him. "I'm having so much fun."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." You swayed a little closer. "And not just because we're torturing Rafe."
He tilted his head a little.
"Although," you added, "that part is kinda fun."
He laughed under his breath.
"But," you shrugged a little, smiling shyly now, "it just feels like old times again."
His eyes searched yours carefully.
"I like being ridiculous with you."
"I like bein' ridiculous with you too," he admitted quietly, thumbs moving slowly against your waist.
Your smile widened so hard you ended up biting your lip trying to contain it.
JJ's eyes dropped to your mouth immediately and stayed there, almost like he didn't care if you noticed.
And you did.
Then his eyes flicked past you briefly.
"Rafe still watching?"
"Yep," JJ murmured, eyes already back on yours.
The alcohol suddenly had you feeling braver than ever. Your fingers toyed lightly with the hair at the back of his neck as you just stared up at him for a moment.
"You wanna make him really believe it?"
JJ's brows lifted slightly. "What d'you mean?"
Your grin turned nervous and playful all at once. "Hershey's Kiss 2.0?"
JJ actually stopped breathing, his hands tightening slightly on your waist. "You sure about that, Shrimp?"
Your heart was actually pounding now. "Are you?"
JJ stared at you for three long seconds.
"Anything for the bit," he said quietly, though neither of you sounded like you actually cared about the Rafe thing anymore.
You smile nervously. "So that's a yes?"
JJ's eyes dropped to your lips again and he nodded. "Yeah."
His hand lifted and settled against your cheek, thumb brushing beneath your eye once, like he was trying to believe this was really happening.
And unable to understand how somebody could be so fucking beautiful.
For a second you just looked at each other. Then he started leaning in slowly. Painfully slowly. Your noses brushed. His lips hovered above yours, hesitation and disbelief flickering across his face for just a second.
Then you tilted your chin up and closed the distance yourself.
You were both still for a moment as your lips pressed softly against his, immediately a little dizzy from the realness of it all. Then you both actually melted into each other, every almost moment from the last few weeks crashing together at once.
JJ made a soft noise against your mouth like he physically couldn't help it, one hand sliding up into your hair to hold you there. Then he tilted his head and kissed you harder, and when your lips parted against his, the soft brush of your tongues made your stomach flip so violently your breath shuddered against his mouth.
It was nothing like when you were thirteen, other than the fact that he tasted chocolate on your lips just like he had the first time.
Somewhere in the distance, the Pogues completely lost their minds.
You vaguely heard screaming, but neither of you cared. You just laughed into each other's mouths until you both had to pull back an inch for a second.
His forehead rested against yours as you both stared at each other, cheeks flushed and eyes half lidded, completely stunned.
Then JJ looked at your lips again and dove right back in, kissing you even more desperately now, pulling your body flush against his.
You let out a surprised sound that turned into a happy hum before kissing him back equally as hard.
The noise almost killed him right then and there.
The kiss slowed eventually and you both pulled away, dazed, trying for a second to remember how breathing worked.
"You think we convinced him?" you whispered, smiling.
JJ let out a breathless laugh against your mouth, still holding you close, "Pretty sure we convinced everybody."
