#rtza

[cmeiffel]

my lungs burn for you

tyler blinks once. twice. he stills as he tries to focus his mind. his spine is frozen, holding his aching shoulders and neck in an uncomfortable position as they support his heavy head. his arms are glued to his desk, his fingers to his mouse and keyboard. his legs are numb from the way they've been resting on his cold floor for so long.

he doesn't move. he can't.

all he can do is watch. through starstruck blue eyes, at his screen. at the man on his screen. at the man on his screen who's wearing an oversized green sweater so large the sleeves cover his hands. tyler watches the man on his screen who waves around his sweater paws to accentuate every word that leaves his mouth. at the man who decided not to wear his headband that day and has hair falling in front of his face every time he shakes his head. tyler stares at the man who looks oh so soft as he rambles on about something tyler has completely lost track of.

he stares and he watches and his mouth goes dry and his chest starts to hurt and tyler can't decide on the cause of it.

he can't breathe. his body screams at him for relief but he just can't. his heart squeezes his lungs until every bit of oxygen has been expelled from them. his heart pushes against his ribs, expanding and expanding until it's almost too much. his brain mixes up it's signals and sends the wrong ones to wrong places, triggering tyler's fight or flight mode due to lack of oxygen.

he stares at David on his screen in front of him and he can't breathe. he stares at David and his body freezes up, unable to whisper out a single word. he sees David and he thinks, 'I've never known what it was like to be taken breathless by someone until I met you.' and tyler knows. oh, he knows, he's fucked.

[cmeiffel]

friendly remonder that i wrote this masterpiece while i was sleep deprived as fuck

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[cmeiffel]

my fiance and I are gonna get her wedding dress and my suit fitted tmr and Maya called me papa Vee. This almost-6 year old understands me being genderfluid more than half the people we know and just. my heart.

[cmeiffel]

so i'm genderfluid

and i have this thing where ill use different mugs each day to make my drinks and there's a green one, a yellow one, a brown one, a purple one, a white one, and a black one.

so green: they/them yellow: he/him brown: she/her purple: everything at once white: i have no fucking clue black: file not found (no gender, gender does not exist)

and it helps my girlfriend know how to refer to me since dysphoria is a thing that exists. because like my character/behaviour will change depending on how i present, and i guess it also helps with miscommunication as well? since there are days where i'll change between colours like 3 times a day.

anyways i thought i'd share this in case anyone was struggling on how to subtly tell people your pronouns without having to say it out loud

[cmeiffel]

so i came across this hero and villain duet

and came up with the dialog above^^ ... and now i want to bring back my bbs x misfits royal au

[cmeiffel]

new pinned post

hi! my name is ave :) i also go by eiffel or avenue. this is technically a new blog, i deleted the old one but i managed to get the same url. I left for reasons, but i came back because i am, unfortunately, a writer who cannot let go of my unfinished fics. [See: The Noose and my other series, Stuff From My Insomniac Brain] early september this year, i was in a car accident that has resulted in me injuring my hands pretty badly. basically, i struggle with using both my hands now and it's painful to move my fingers a lot for a long period of time, e.g like when i'm typing on a keyboard.

that wasn't why i left though, but i feel like i should tell you guys this so that you'll understand why my fics haven't been updated yet no matter how many times i've hinted that i was going to. idk just feels like i owe an explanation. ALSO, i manage to change my password of an alt ao3 account, (don't ask) and now i can access ao3 again :) so yes. thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[cmeiffel]

I have an idea

-undercover mission based on sway by michael buble -so youve got three characters: A, B, C -A and B are forced to be partners -maybe they already know each other's behaviours -A isnt that excited to be on the field -A usually works behind the scenes -but it's a close-contact mission and they needed a face the enemy (C) hasnt seen before -So A is the one to go in, B controls the mission from their base or whatever idk -anyways -their mission is to gather information on C -what C is doing, who C talks to, and basically how they are a threat -the scene where everything goes down is your typical underground bar with jazz playing on a stage, the bartender is an old, skilled man who everyone respects (kinda like batman's alfred) -there's people in suits, coats and fedoras sitting at the tables, most of them smoking (totally not the mafia) - theres an open space in front of the stage, supposedly for dancing. -but that's where the daily target(s) sit tied up to a chair, usually already bleeding -by daily target i mean whoever that pissed off the mafia/gang/any corrupt organisation and is gonna die but theyre respected enough to be given an honourable death, ie. after a last meal, etc etc -A is stationed at the bar, drink in hand, doing well at keeping a low profile -Is trying to find C amongst the tables -is unsuccessful -bartender notices A is new, doesnt say anything. just nods at A like "i know you're not one of us but i'll still serve you. just dont start shit with the rest of the patrons and we good" -anyways A cant find C -at this point the band on stage changes the song -[sway starts here] -A tells B through comms that they cant find C -And what happens? -C appears next to A -"Now, now darling. If you wanted to see me all you had to do was ask." -Obviously A panics (their not comfortable on field remember?) -So B can here C through comms, and C knows -C tells B not to try anything, and that all they want is to have a conversation with A -A is stuck -B agrees, reluctantly of course -C is satisfied, and extremely smug as they ask A to remove their earpiece and hand it to them -C calls the bartender who promptly disposes of it -So now A is stuck with C -C takes A to a back room -"the acoustics sound so much better back here, doesnt it?"-C asks A for a dance -"just a dance, love. this song has such a wonderful beat; it'd be a shame not indulge in it." -A agrees, because what better excuse to get closer to the enemy? - (yeah right. A finds themselves to be entranced by C, they dont know why they feel so attracted to C) -So they dance -C leads, and starts a conversation -"why do you work for them? you could do so much better... with me." -and A really is stuck -Because on one hand, they like where they are -on the other, C makes a really good point -(or maybe they're just really attractive) -C twirls them around, and A follows. Its the way C can lead them around the room, and A can't help but lock eyes with C. A can't help but let themself relax in the arms that guide them into dips and twirls -"you seem to be enjoying yourself my dear, and we've only just met" -A is actually weak in the knees at this point -C twirls A away from them(C) , then pulls them(A) back close into their(C) chest. but when A is being pulled back, they fall into C's arms and is just pressed agains their chest. -A's face is heated and it is at this point we find out that A's drink was spiked with a drug -And as A almost passes out in C's arms -meanwhile B had burst into the bar, alone, like the overconfident dumbass they are -and is currently fighting a whole lot of people -C guides A out to see B -(B has been beaten up and is tied to a chair) -C has A leaning heavily on them -C asks A too look at B, gentle hands slowly bringing dazed eyes to focus on their bloodied partner trapped in a chair -"Cmon dear, do you really want someone like them to work with> someone who can't even take down a few measly goons?" -A looks completely out of it btw -but when they make eye contact with B, B has a sense that maybe A isn't

drugged enough to be completely unconscious of what's happening -A looks at B through half-lidded eyes -"I never wanted to work with such an imbecile in the first place" -A looks up at C, face heated, almost breahtless -"Please, please let me join you. I need to be by your side" -"Oh, my dear, no need to beg. you're already welcomed" -And so A has joined C - ' "you're already welcomed" ' A looks at the goons surrounding B -they look to A with respect, just like how they look at C -A realises they are waiting to be addressed. -"...Do with him as you wish..." -C carries A away as B gets fucking bodied by the mafia folk/gang people and the other goons -A has no regret -C has A all to themselves

and yes that was my idea, which turned out to be quite long lmao my bad.

[cmeiffel]

it's.. subtle. the shift in their behaviour. from the once aggressive banter to just minor remarks that hold no malice behind them. but then again they never meant what they said. he doesn't notice it at first, but cut him some slack, he's oblivious to everything. he does eventually though, after realising the porch lights are left on for the nights his shifts end late, after finding post-its on the kitchen counter saying there's food waiting in the microwave and tea in a small kettle on the stove. and when he does come home early, and he starts hearing more words like "go and shower while I finish up dinner" or "don't forget to put your work boots back in the shoe cupboard" rather than an indistinct yell from somewhere in the house acknowledging his return, or worse, plain silence. and he finds he likes this a lot more. it's domestic. everything about the two of them has turned domestic. ignoring the prospect of a sooner-or-later marriage, even as a couple, it's as though they've lived with each other for years. funny how spending everyday for the past few months turns even the hardest of people soft, and that's exactly what's happened to his partner. he loves it, loves them.