Pairing: Dean/Cas
Rating: Teen and Up
Word Count: 1200
Warnings: none?
Written For: Lily, based off of this TikTok
On Ao3
Claire sat in the chair for bad kids. She wasn’t exactly sure what she did that was bad, but Ms. Barnes had been upset, and Ms. Milton was now mad with her too. Claire was sitting quietly and picking at her fingernails when the door opened. She looked up to see who was entering the office when her heart started beating wildly. Claire hadn’t been sure who Ms. Milton was waiting on, but it certainly wasn’t them.
“Hello, you must be Claire’s parents. Thank you for coming in.” The principal gestured to the seats across from her. “While I wish it were under better circumstances, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mister and Mister….”
“You don’t know our last name?” Papa’s heavy Russian accent appeared to catch Ms. Milton off guard.
Dad to the rescue. “I’m Dean, and this is my husband, Cas.”
Ms. Milton looked between them. “Your last names?”
“Does it matter?” Papa was upset; even Claire was having some difficulty understanding him.
“Really, Sunshine?” Dad rolled his eyes before turning to the principal. “Dean and Cas is fine. There’s no need to stand on formalities.” He paused and laughed to himself. “You know, I still can’t pronounce your last name, Cas, and we’ve been together for years.” Claire had to cover her mouth. Laughing was sure to get her in more trouble, even if she didn’t understand why she was in trouble.
“That’s because your mouth is busy doing other things.”
Dad blushed bright red. “Yeah, our last names don’t matter. So, what did Clairebear do?”
“Right.” Ms. Milton pulled out a file. “Claire had Show and Tell today. The assignment, according to her teacher, Ms. Barnes, was to bring in something that is important to your parents.”
“Oh yeah?” Dad looked at her and smiled, even if he seemed slightly confused. Maybe if he didn’t understand why she was in trouble, Claire wouldn’t be in trouble anymore.
Papa grumbled. “And you called us in, why?”
“Well, most kids brought in things like family heirlooms, jewelry, photographs. One child brought in their mother’s clarinet.” Ms. Milton stole a look at Claire.
“Okay?” Both Dad and Papa looked even more confused.
“They brought in school-appropriate items. But Claire…” Ms. Milton looked like she couldn’t figure out what to say, and instead, she picked up Claire’s notebook. “How about I read to you what Claire wrote. It might make it a little easier.” Papa and Dad sat up a little straighter in their chairs as Ms. Milton continued. “She read this to the class before sharing her item.”
Dad looked a little pale but nodded. “Sure, go ahead. Can’t be that bad.”
“This is my Dad’s favorite thing.”
“Oh hey, she picked mine.” Dad lightly swatted Papa with the back of his hand. “It’s fine.”
Ms. Milton was unamused. “It’s small. It fits in my hand, so I’m sure it’s easy to hide. Dad’s not very good at hiding it, though. When you push the button, it makes a lot of noise.”
Papa turned and glared at Dad, who had gone very, very still.
“It makes people make a lot of noise.”
“Oh no.” Dad hid his face in his hands.
“But it does, Dad!”
Dean made a small sound like crying. “Not now, Clairebear.”
“Actually, it makes people squeal.”
“Oh my God.” Dad looked at Papa. “I…”
Ms. Milton set down the paper. “Ms. Barnes did mention that she was proud of Claire for using one of last week’s vocabulary words.”
Claire smiled. She was proud of that too.
“I’m sorry, I know this is weird, but what color was the item?” Dad wasn’t sitting very still in his seat. It looked like he had the squirmies.
“What does that matter?” Ms. Milton’s mouth opened, and Claire was pretty sure if she had a gummy bear, she could get it in there. “It’s uh, the item, it’s pink.”
“Pink?” Papa shook his head. “Do we even have a pink one?”
Dad nodded. “There’re a couple of pink ones. But none of them are small enough to fit in Claire’s hand… Remember? We had to return the one because it was too big, even for me.”
“Enough, please.” Ms. Milton reached over and opened up the top drawer of her desk and pulled out Claire’s show and tell item. She set it down hard on the desk and pointed at it. “A taser.”
“O, slava Bogu.” Papa let out a breath as he spoke in his language. “O, slava Bogu.”
“A taser, huh? That’s good.” Dad paused and smirked at Papa. “A pink taser.”
Papa’s eyebrow went up in that funny shape when Dad said something to get himself in trouble. “Ne seychas.”
“But it’s a pink taser, which, by the way, Claire, is Papa’s and not mine.” Dad sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yes, you’re lucky, Soplyak.” Papa nodded. “That could have been much worse.”
“Oh yeah. Honestly, with that description, I thought… We thought…”
The principal stared at Dad and Papa, and it dawned on Claire that she wasn’t the one in trouble anymore. “I’m sorry, but if you didn’t think it was a taser, what did you think it was?”
“Nothing.” Dad replied as Papa said, “Absolutely nothing.”
Claire knew they were in trouble, and she figured she could help. “You know, Dad, I was going to bring the magic wand thing from your top drawer.” Papa and Dad turned quickly to look at her. “The one that looks and sounds like an electric toothbrush?” They both turned white. “But I couldn’t open the drawer. It was too high.”
“But you could reach the taser?” Ms. Milton asked.
“Yep!”
Ms. Milton looked at Claire quickly before resuming her scary look at Dad and Papa.
“You know what, I think we’re going to go.” Dad stood up fast.
“And I’ll take that.” Papa reached for the taser. Ms. Milton grabbed his wrist before he could pull away, though.
“You know I could call the cops. Or CPS, you know! I should report this. You’re in a lot of trouble!”
Papa leaned forward, and his voice was very deep and very quiet. Claire knew that voice from when she got in trouble. “You could. But you said it yourself. You don’t even know our last names.” Papa pressed the button on the taser, and Ms. Milton jumped back, letting go of his arm. “And I have the taser.”
“Uh…” Ms. Milton sat still before closing her eyes and nodding. “You… You’re right. Carry on.” She looked at Claire. “Have a good evening, Claire. Please make sure you talk to your fathers about your homework, please.”
“Yes, Ms. Milton!” Claire climbed out of the chair and went to Papa, taking his hand before taking Dad’s.
“It was your taser, Cas.”
“Molchi, Dean. Let’s go, Malen'kiy.”
“Yes, Papa! Have a good night, Ms. Milton!” Claire smiled before leading her Dad and Papa out of the Principal’s office.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Gilda (Supernatural)
Additional Tags: Minor Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Minor Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Past Castiel/April Kelly, Blind Castiel (Supernatural), Russian Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Billionaire Castiel, Architecture AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mild age gap, mild homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Acephobia, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Former Prostitute Dean Winchester, Accidental Voyeurism, Accidental Exhibitionist Castiel, Past Character Death, Minor Canonical Character(s), Canonical Character Death, lawboy!Sam, Law Student Sam Winchester, Alcohol, Eye Trauma, Castiel (Supernatural) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, References to Canon, shading canon, gratuitous BSG references, gratuitous FMA mentions, LOTR References, Geek Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Glasses-Wearing Castiel (Supernatural), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Coming Out, Gay Panic, dean doesn't realize how gay he is, off-screen sex, Ableism, Weddings, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, I Love Charlie Bradbury, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words
Summary:
Written for the Destiel Harlequin Challenge based on the following prompt:
When twenty-eight-year-old, woefully unemployed, Dean Winchester, arrives to his interview with hotter-than-hell billionaire architect, Castiel Krushnic—mastermind behind The Spire—he quickly realizes Castiel’s job proposition isn't what he was anticipating. Castiel’s hiding a life-changing secret, one that could ruin his career as the most influential architect in the world, and he's willing to pay Dean five thousand dollars a day—just to help him keep it. Will Dean accept Castiel’s offer to become his “pretend boyfriend” for the next five days in order to ensure the success of the most important week of his life? Or will his smartass sarcasm keep him from submitting to Castiel’s will? And what will happen when Castiel discovers Dean’s hiding a secret, too—one that could threaten the stability of their arrangement and prevent him from getting too close to the one man in the world who might be capable of gaining his trust…
frick u ya beautiful bastard for getting me addicted to mafioso cas it's like the first thing to come to mind when i think of dark cas or russian cas and i love him(you) so much i live for this dude and his murdery, growly, russian ways yas
Hoooooly Chuck, that part two??? Was AMAZING. Oh my. And because I'm weak I read all Cas's dialogue in my head with a Russian accent because hello?? Russian mafiso!Cas?? That low gravelly voice in a thick Russian accent??? My literal grave. Anyway I'm rambling, you are seriously amazing, that was awesome😍😍😍
rfeivnfskjvnfksjdvn jfkdn oh my Chuck <3 Thank you so much! ;__: I don’t even know what to say fcrbuebvjhebvjfdRussian!CEO!Cas, Russian!tourist!Cas, Professor!Cas who teaches Russian, mafioso!Cas speaking Russian - I will greedily take them all and ask for more because I freaking love Cas speaking Russian.
