Personal Value
[1967]
They had done it. They had made it to the promised land.
And they were already leaving him behind.
“This was Mr. Oliver and Miss Isabel's venture.” He told himself. “I was helping them get here.”
It didn't hurt any less.
As it turned out, he had been in considerably better condition than either of his acquaintances, and as such had been put into service well before either of them.
Now, he was on an unfamiliar railway he'd only been to once or twice before, and the only other resident he knew was Douglas - the engine that'd saved them from being dragged off to the scrap lines.
“So, your railway’s gained some new acquisitions?” A voice broke through the brake van's dwelling.
“Oh! Uh, yes, Mr. Oliver and Miss Isabel.”
Toad looked down to see a little red engine on equally smaller rails. He'd seen narrow-gauge railways before, but he didn't know that Sodor had any.
“They're the tank engine and the coach, yes?”
“Mr Oliver's the engine, he came here with his auto-coach, Miss Isabel.”
“Have you gotten a chance to meet them?”
Toad chuckled at the absurdity of the question. Of course, the little engine had no way of knowing the comradery that had formed over the past three or so years.
“Oh, yes.” He said, politely. “My name's Toad, sir. I helped get them here, in fact.” Yep. Definitely not imposing on their great escape. Definitely not proving Miss Isabel's point.
“Oh!” The little engine said, surprised. “A pleasure, Toad. I'm Rheneas.”
“It was their venture, though.” Toad admitted. “I think I was just along for the ride. They probably would've managed without me.”
Rheneas gave Toad a hard look.
“You helped those two get to Sodor. Now, I don't know how things are over there, but the standard-gauge engines here have nothing good to say about it. It sounds like you took just as great a risk as they did and you made sure they made it here. It sounds to me like you're selling yourself short.”
He paused for a moment.
“You were right there alongside them the entire time, but it feels as though you're living in their shadow?”
Toad was taken aback. The two had only been talking for a few minutes, and Rheneas had put his issues to words better than he ever could.
He didn't know what to say. It seemed the engine knew.
“When I first arrived here over a hundred years ago - that's not an exaggeration - I felt something similar. Skarloey was numbered 1, he shared the railway's name, and he took the board of directors on the inaugural train. I was named after a waterfall, and was numbered 2. Skarloey being the first of us to receive a cab didn't help matters.”
Rheneas chuckled. “I remember he thought I was copying him when I received my cab. He meant it in jest, of course, but our passengers couldn't seem to tell us apart for the longest time.”
“Miss Isabel and Mr Oliver have worked together a long time. I've never seen them apart.” Toad recounted. “Mr Oliver just insisted I come with, especially with how few brake vans like myself were still in service.”
“You came here with Douglas, didn't you?”
“How did you know?”
“Neville told me. According to Rebecca, Douglas got the three of you here from… I don't recall the yard, but it was a long journey regardless.”
“Mr Oliver had run out of coal. We wouldn't have made it without Mr Douglas.”
“Then perhaps what you need is a change of pace.” Rheneas suggested. “Have you worked with other engines before?”
“No, sir.” Toad said, mulling it over. “I always moved from yard to yard - the big engines never seemed bothered with which yards we brake vans were supposed to be returned to.”
“I know the engines here are - well, usually - better than that. You do already know Douglas, so that's a start.”
Toad smiled. “I'll think over what you said. Thank you, Mr Rheneas.”
The little engine smiled, and set off.
As he left, Toad pondered his situation with newfound hopefulness.
He wasn't just a van at the end of someone else's train. And if he was, he was going to choose the engine.
And he knew exactly who he wanted that to be.
