#rxsarcasm

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10% of my scripts today have been Flu Shots!!!

What a great day!

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Lunch?

What's Lunch? No one has time for lunch, it's flu season!!!!

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Crystal Ball Lady (note this call was at 9:15 am)

Crystal Ball Lady: I have a script for oxycodone 5mg. #60. Do you have it?

Me: at this moment yes.

CBL: can I fax it to you so you can get it ready then bring you the original later?

Me: No. I need the original to fill it.

CBL: well I work till 2pm so I won't be able to bring till after that.

Me: that's fine.

CBL: what will the wait time be then?

Me: at 2? I have no idea. My crystal ball is broken so I can't see the future. It just depends how many others get the same idea to drop off and wait.

CBL: oh ok.

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Identification isn't optional.

Too Cool For ID Lady: picking up for ********

Me: ok. Date of birth?

TCFIL: *gives date if birth*

Me: And I do need ID for one of these medications.

TCFIL: What?! Why?

Me: It's a controlled substance so Identification is required at pick up.

TCFIL: I don't need ID. The pharmacist knows me! I'm here all the time.

RPh: Mam, it's not optional, it's a law that ID is required for pick up. There's no way to override it.

TCFIL: Then I'll have to come back. This is ridiculous.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

After she leaves, RPh: I don't know her! Who was that?

About an hour later she calls back and yells at the pharmacist for not vouching for her so she can get her medications that she desperately needs. She's a regular patient that has gotten this many times before. She knows she needs ID.

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When you begin making pirate references involving drugs during the work day, it's time to go home.

*patient drops off a script for Vicodin 5/325, which does not come in that strength. Vicodin is available as 5/300 or there is Norco which is 5/325. So we have to call the doctor for clarification in which one he wants. While waiting for a call back my pharmacist has me run the claim for Vicodin and Norco to see which is covered to avoid another phone call.* Me: Vicodin brand is a no go, the generic is $7.63. Norco is $1.07. RPh: so both genetics are fine. Me: well one is $7 and one is $1. RPh: are you telling me I should suggest Norco then? Me: Steer this ship towards Norco, Captain. Arrgh! The whole pharmacy stops and looks at me briefly.

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No good patient contact ever starts with the phrase "Get ready for me sweetheart!" Lord help me. I'm going to go hide in the back now!

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You followed through all the pharmacy prompts?!

Intelligent Caller: Is this the pharmacy?

Me: yes.

IC: Do you have salt?

Me: Excuse me?

IC: Salt.

Me: Salt?

IC: Yes, like ice melt.

Me: This is the pharmacy. I don't know that stuff, let me transfer you to front store.

IC: Ok, thanks.

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My sister works in a pharmacy

Angry patients