༄ Part 10 ❛ Something inevitable ❜
Synopsis~ Your call, somehow, connects to the chief of staff — Sabo.
✧ Masterlist ✧ Prev ✧ Ch.list ✧ Dividers from @cursed-carmine
When Sabo had heard her speak in that quivering tone he couldn't help but feel completely useless. How could he be so useless? With this barrier between them, he could never help her. Why is he so far away from her? Why can't he be with her?
Everything has been eating him away.
“I'm so fucking useless”, he mumbles to himself running a bare hand through his blonde strands, he even forgot to put on his gloves today that's just how lost he is today. A pile of books stacked to his side and one splayed open in front of him on the wooden desk.
The words in front of him didn't even processed in his mind, they just seen like black lines printed on a paper to him right now, nothing of it makes through his brain. He grits his teeth in exasperation, how come he can't focus on something that matters a lot?
Why are books so useless right now? Why can't he find a single thing that he needs?
The view outside the window did little to help him relax, his muscles are tensed, brain swirling back into the events of last night. The way her voice cracked with muffled sobs, and her shaking tone kept him up the entire night. He couldn't sleep. Not after that.
Not after hearing her crackle so badly, it stabbed his heart multiple times. Each sob, each crack, each shake in her voice stabbed through his core like blades.
“Why the hell do you care?! It's not like you can help me!”, she had said. His heart had wrenched at it, and what hurt the most was that she was right. He couldn't help and he couldn't deny this fact. He couldn't be there with her.
He let her go through all the trouble to unlock her place, all he could do sitting in his own room— in comfort was to instruct her. That's all.
He couldn't even be of help to her much. Fucking useless, ain't I?
He had helped her get into her apartment somehow but he wasn't happy with that, he could do more if he was there with her. He could've held her, he could've wiped her tears, he could've done so much.. and yet he was here, clenching his fists as he had instructed her. He couldn't even hold her when she needed him.
All the events of yesterday are crumbling him into something smaller, he feels as if someone stripped him off his position. What use was being chief of staff when all he could was sit here in silence when she needed him?
He looks at the words once more, none of them seem to reach his brain, he is just glazing at them and not reading them.
I need to focus! I should at least do this—
“Sabo?”, the voice reels him out of his thoughts, his head spins to the source of the voice— Robin, standing at the side looking at him with a concerned gaze.. concerned? Why is she making that face?
He looks at her awaiting a response or explanation for her expression, “Are you alright? You are clenching on your bangs like you want to pull them off”, she says softly as she settles at her usual place— across him.
He hadn't realized he had been clenching his hair until now, “Uh, yeah.. I'm just slightly out of it today”, he manages out despite the self-loathing eating him away from inside.
“Did something happen?”, she asks as she splays open a book in front of her on the wooden desk and keep her attention on him; ready to listen to him. Chin resting on her palm and other forearm on the wood.
He exhales deeply, nodding slightly at her words, “Well yes.. I—”
So, he goes on and narrates yesterday's events to her in detail— how she had forgotten her keys, how she had been locked out, how she was being used at her workplace, and everything in between. He cups his face in his bare palms, elbows on the desk letting his skin submerge in his palm.
“I'm fucking useless.. I can't even help her with something so simple, and it's making me.. what am I even supposed to do? I am supposed to find a way to get to her and I can't even focus on a single word.. I'm helpless always! It was the same with Ace and it doesn't that she views me as a char—”
He halted before he could finish the words, he almost said it. His voice crackled ever so slightly. He wonders, why am I even telling her all this? A vulnerable state he never allowed anyone to witness let alone behold like this.
“Sabo!”, Robin's voice almost startles him, he looks at her with surprised gaze. That was a tone of strictness, not of concern. He blinks once, then shifts his gaze.
He rises from his abruptly, “I'm sorry. I rambled too much”, he mumbles before taking out a step from his seat. His arm nudges against the stack of books causing them to scatter on the floor, he curses under his breath, however, doesn't make an effort to pick them.
Taking another step towards the exit, “Sabo!”, Robin's voice reaches him again, but he doesn't look back. He can't, why is that he has tears prickling at the corner of his eyes? He doesn't allow this vulnerability to leave him like this. Why is it affecting him so much?
He stumbles in the pathway, bumps into some people, however, he keeps moving as if possessed. The words from last night replays in his mind. And the words from before as well.
“You're just a character”
He felt his heart squeeze at the thoughts and a lump forming in his throat, the hell is wrong with me? It shouldn't bother him but it does. That's her reality, so what's wrong with it if she sees me as a character?! Why do I want her to look at me as a person?
Right now, trying to find a way to see her didn't crossed his mind, how can I be by her side? Is the question that emerged in his brain now. His focus shifted from seeing her to being with her. He can't let it turn out like Ace, not again. Not now, not ever. He isn't going to be losing people anymore— not anymore.
That's what he wants to believe.
He slams the door of his room shut with a thwack, slumping down to the floor, back against the wood. Chest heaving, hands trembling, breath coming out in shallow gasps, “How am I supposed to get rid of these feelings?”, he questions to himself staring at the wall across the room, Ace's poster hanged in front reminding him of his shortcomings.
I'm always losing something or someone. I don't want to— not her, not the memories of her.
He averts his gaze instantly, he exhales deeply and inhales deeply repeatedly in an attempt to steady his breathing.
He runs a bare hand through his locks, “I just— want to see you once.. is it too much to ask for?”, he lets his face cover in his hand. Tears surpassed inside his core.
The idea of not being able to see her even once is terrific. Not being by her side torturous, and her never perceiving him as a person cruel. Though, he'd never speak these fears aloud, they surface on his heart often.
After a while, he hears a knock on his door, “Sabo, I need to show you something!”, Robin's muffled voice reaches him. Whatever she wants to show him now wasn't the time.
“Not right now, I wouldn't be able to focus!”, he shots back a reply staring at his trembling hands.
He heard her say something but he couldn't decipher the words in his mind causing him to unable to reply. He heard her leave after sometime, he wishes he could treat her better. She is helping him so much, she deserved better than silence.
Just after a little nap. Too exhausted right now.
He found himself sleeping against the door itself on the marble floor. Not for some short time, but till evening. He curses himself under his breath, running a bare hand through his blonde strands.
I slept longer than intended to, fuck.
“Where did my gloves go?”, he wonders, then realized he hasn't worn them today. Another curse. His brain still hasn't shut down, rambling on the same self-loathing words for himself.
He needs it gone, somehow. He needs to focus things. He can't stay like this. How can he?
Then, an idea popped up in his head— Alcohol. He had heard it makes people's head lighter, maybe, it will help him, somehow.
He rises slowly from his spot, opens the door, exiting from his room and closing the door shut behind himself. He makes his way to the kitchen, he isn't proud of himself for coming to such solutions for his problem, however, he couldn't think of anything else right now. It didn't matter what, just anything. Anything would work if it makes his head lighter, anything.
He asks for alcohol in the dining hall, everyone there gives him a look of astonishment. He hears them mumble something but he doesn't care. The chef brings him bottles of alcohol, he chugs down the drink until he felt his head getting lighter.
By the sixth one, he started feeling a little fuzzy which was the point of it all. No one had ever seen him chug down alcohol like this before. Not once. Not ever. It was a shock for everyone there. Not that he cared, everything around him started to blur, head felt lighter.
Koala was talking to Robin when a soldier came running to her telling her Sabo is drunk and is rambling nonsense in the dining hall.
“That idiot! Why is he drinking?”, Koala mumbles to herself. She could see Robin making a concerned expression at the news, as if she knew something.
She and Robin immediately strides towards the dinning hall and are met with a drunken Sabo, completely out of it with the head chef by his side trying to get him to stop drinking, “Chief, you have already drank a lot! You should stop”, the man was trying his best.
Sabo, on the other hand, is completely out of it, “I wanf mooeee”, his speech slurred into incoherent mess and moves wobbly.
Koala rubs her temples just at the sight, “He is completely out of it”, she mumbles next to Robin. Robin isn't particularly amused with the situation. Usually, with situations like this, Robin would've cracked a joke which not many people would seem to understand. Right now, all Robin could tell was that this is Sabo's coping mechanism, he chose.
“I'll take him to his room”, she announced causing everyone's head to snap in her direction as she used her powers to guide Sabo back to his room.
Upon reaching his room, she threw him onto his bed. Though, she didn't know what else to do with him. She assumed he would fall into slumber soon anyways, she decided it would not be good to leave him like this.
Her boots clacked against the floor, “I'll get you water, just wait”, she announced before going out to get a glass of water to help him sober up a little, if it helps anyway.
When she opened the door to his room again, with a glass of water in her hand, he is already on his den den mushi with someone, which she perceived to be y/n due to the feminine voice from the other side.
“vut you see me as character.. noh a persn..”, She hadn't intended to eavesdrop but she happened to listen in to it and she wanted to wait just enough to hear the response from the woman, Sabo has fallen for.
“Character?”, she repeats thoughtfully. Though, she had no reason to intervene in his personal life but what she just heard made her stop in her tracks and listen, awaiting for a response from other side.
She was thinking about it, not since today but since the day she saw him submerged in books like he belonged with them to the point he lost track of day and night.
The response didn't came, there's a pause— long and uncomfortable.
“Wfat I don't habve a persn doesh?”
“I geh hurf like a persn”
“Hov am I- diffrn frm a persn?”
He is practically yelling the words in the receiver. Just hearing them was enough to tell that it had been on his mind for longer than he wanted it to. However, what robin didn't understood was why he called himself a character? And why he is asking her all this?
Sabo had never mentioned any of these to her, only part he allowed to know to her was that y/n is from a different universe. No further reasoning, or explanations were shared. This actually caught Robin's interest.
“I know! You're human, Sabo! I don't see you as a character anymore”
Was the response she heard from the other side, though, she couldn't understand it. Of course, she shouldn't have waited to hear it in the first place, but she couldn't help it.
She decided to wait until morning to ask him about all that, and she has to show him this as well today. A book clutched in her hand as she made her way to reach him, he is walking down the hallways with Koala, talking on the den den mushi, again.
When she approaches him, she over hears the conversation, again. This time, however, she is glad she did.
“What did I speak of? Did I say someth—”, Sabo's question was cut short as the response came immediate.
“You made such bad jokes that I felt like I would pass out from hearing them”, the woman on the call has replied.
She didn't told him about his rambling from last night. Robin figured she didn't want him to know that he said all that, most likely.
Robin, as well, decided not to bring it up. Until, eventually, Sabo feels comfortable enough to share the information with her. She doesn't ask him about it, nor does she mentions it.
And so, she went on to discuss what she had initially wanted to.
Sabo immediately noticed Robin finding her way to him with a book clutched in her hands, he assumed she wants to show something she found helpful. He lividly remembers that she was trying to show him something yesterday, but he was too out of it to focus on anything.
Getting into the library, she opens the book titled “Treasures and mysteries”, to the page of the bookmark. She points to a certain paragraph with the description of an object, a mirror more specifically, named “téléporte” created by one of the previous owners of create-create fruit some decades ago.
He read the description with the great focus of a saint, Robin just looks at him with a soft small smile. The description filled with things he had been dying to hear or read since days.
He reads between the lines, “The mirror allows the user to see the reflection of place they desire and if the desire deem strong enough, that may teleport to the place desired. The user is required to imagine the place as best as they can before the reflection could be seen.”
The only problem with this was that he didn't know where he needs to go, or how her place looks like, or anything of that world looks like.
He looks at Robin, “This is helpful Robin but I don't know how anything of that place looks like”, he concludes.
“I figured. But maybe, just maybe, you can try to merge it with the den den mushi? And it could work as the video call you have been wanting”, she shares, her idea isn't bad to say the least. It was worth trying it out.
She gives him a look he couldn't totally decipher, “I'll tag along with you to find it”, she says softly.
“What? No, you're not coming. You have already helped me too much. I can't take you out like that—”, he rambles on, straight up refusing her participation in finding the artifact.
She chuckles lightly before adding on, “Sabo, I'm merely curious about it. Also, I could find something interesting there. Take me with you”, she asks, no, offers.
He sighs running a gloved hand through his blonde hair, “Alright”, he gave in to her request. He couldn't really say no, not after she helped him soo much. If she is curious, she may tag along. That was all there to it. Nothing more, nothing less.
A/n~ This came out shorter than I intended it to. I initially planned to keep this longer, but I lost the draft I was writing so I happened to change some of the things in this version. But I hope the emotions are conveyed enough considering the length of this part. Though, I may have made it a little bit angstier than original. Also, I'm really sorry for taking so long! Updates might get slower due to my exams coming up in May.
@darmine @kio-kookie @mymmyrym @serenityblu @aionions-iqlauk @unknownficenjoyer @3mb3r8 @jhsluvv @rubyys-domain @imanevens @keyutii @kyomiforest @nikita001 @lalacute03 @stup1dlysmart-human @baa3baa3 @napforalifetime
If you'd like to be added to the list lemme know! I'll be doing this for the other fics as well~ you can comment or dm me; I don't mind!
