#sad johnlock

[helplessly-johnlocked]

well then, i didn't need my heart anyway

[jawnn-watson]

In between:

giggling at crime scenes,

bickering about silly things,

chasing off criminals,

late take-away dinners,

some near-death experiences,

weird experiments in kitchen,

late night telly talks,

I never realise:

How deeply I've fell for him,

'till The Fall

[samaraclegane]

i know it's been years but...

what if mrs hudson gave the same speech to john that she did to sherlock? what if she told him about her and her best friend, how they promised to always be there for each other, how the marriage wouldn't change anything, how best friends meant for life

what if he didn't really consider it, because sherlock and he had been through so much, surely they'd be fine? immunity was surely theirs, right?

what if when sherlock finishes up the violin solo, john finishes dancing with mary and they've all found out she's pregnant, and then they've slipped back off onto the dance floor, he casts a look back and he can't see sherlock.

he's a bit panicked, but he quietly excuses himself and goes to look for him. he wants to know, wants to prove to himself and mrs hudson and the world that it's not happening again, history isn't repeating itself - he and sherlock haven't fallen apart already

but he can't find him.

he looks everywhere, even eventually caves and asks around, only getting solemn shrugs and tilted heads, mouths uttering 'i haven't seen him'

that's when john knows: they're not the same.

he knows they're not the same people they were before sherlock took the fall, off of bart's, to protect those he cared for most. they aren't those men, the two men without cares, two best friends, two somethings, because now he's gone, and john can't just call him back. it doesn't work that way.

mrs hudson was right. they just don't work like that anymore; everything has just changed, and john doesn't think it's for the better.

some part of him wonders if sherlock would have rather died from the fall, or like this.

[moriarlocked]

to deserve John Watson is the best thing Sherlock could say to any person and he thinks he doesn't deserve him, not even as his best friend have a nice day

[jawnn-watson]

Along the way, the line blurred between falling for him and fall for him.

[cringelock]

God, just imagine Sherlock's return if Mary hadn't been there. John would still be angry and mess Sherlock around but Sherlock wouldn't be strong about it and he would have been honest because two years alone made him see. and he'd have this hope that John would let him in, that he could fix all of his mistakes and that they'd finally get it right. They'd hug! God I want them to hug. And instead, Sherlock waltzes in and his hope is crushed because John wants to marry this woman and Sherlock has no place there at all.

[weeesi]

someone: aw this song is so sad it's about love

me: actually it's about how sherlock was feeling after watching the love of his life marry another person because of a decision that he made two years previous and he realised too late that he was in love and then resorted to using drugs again to dull the pain of losing him but yeah great song

[nerding-the-things]

Bee Sting.

The bullet had stung.

It was like a bee sting, lined directly with the space closest to the heart, nicking the bits that left only moments where there should have been days, weeks, months... years, even.  But now, left in the rain, tears mixed with the raindrops that fell around them and thinned the blood that was pooling around them.  His hand looped quietly, palm taking hold of palm, and he bit back the sob that threatened to leave him.

Beneath him, the figure laid, a slow amused smile crossing his fading pale lips.  "We were always going to say goodbye, weren't we?"  The words were taunt and clean, a mere grunt of pain at the end of the phrase to bite the last word with care.

He swallowed hard, a low laugh on his lips as he felt the sob wrack through his body, shoulders trembling as he forced upon his lips a smile he could barely return.  "Yeah.   I think so."  He swallowed, trying hard to keep the curve to his lips as his chest ached in desperation.

Slowly, carefully, fingers lifted from the dreary street, fingertips wet from the pavement gently pressing against the curve of the other man's face.  Quicksilver eyes softened, his touch adoringly following the jawline.  "I loved you though.  I loved you so much."  He paused, loneliness creeping into his gaze, a subtle knowledge in his eyes that spoke more fear than anything else.  Swallowing, he leaned his head back, blinking fiercely, breathing deeply despite the pain that wracked through him.

"I know," the kneeling man started, his tone pained, aching, "I know."  His smile turned, unable to fight against the oncoming swarm of hurt as the other's breathing slowed, those blue eyes and their light drifting into the abyss where he could not catch up.  John felt himself sob, his body curling and his hands moving to press against the bullet hole that had bled the other dry, his entire form shuddering as grief overtook him.  "I loved you too."

johnlock fic; based on: x