#sherlock text post

[merthurtrenches]

Why is it always these fuckers?

[malpractisnt]

Sherlock x text posts >:

[chairmanholmes]

I can always rely on John to send me the relevant data, as he never understands a word of it himself.

Sherlock Holmes

[simplyclockwork]

Sherlock text posts

(Part 97)

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[charliesshitposts]

[Sherlock unlocking his door]

Moriarty:*sitting in John’s chair, petting a stray cat* Sherlock...we meet again.

Sherlock:*calmly hanging up his coat* Get to the point Moriarty. I’ve got dinner plans this evening.

Moriarty:Oh come on Sherlock you’re no fun. Let’s dance for a bit.

Sherlock:If you mean dance as in chatting I’ll pass. If you mean dance as in actually dancing..I’ll pass too.

Moriarty:*crossing his legs* Why? *smirking*

Sherlock:Why?? Well let’s see..you ran passed me on the stairs shouting ‘let me go first!’. Then you had me wait outside my own apartment door while you rearranged John’s chair,put the lamp next to it,went outside to our windowsill and grabbed the cat that likes to hang around our flowers just so that when you’d finally let me walk in you’d be waiting by the door looking like the villain in some cheap movie plot.

Moriarty:*pouting* Poop. Well now that you’ve totally killed my buzz..I think it’s time I’d take off.

Sherlock:You might want to stop by the hospital to get a shot.

Moriarty: Why? *curious*

[The cat turns and bites Moriarty’s thigh]

Moriarty:*screaming*

Cat:*hissing^

Sherlock:That’s why.

[multifandomforthemostpart]

Sherlock: no birthday of mine will ever top the one where Rosie was three and she shouted "MURDER" and in flew Lestrade proclaiming there had, indeed been a murder

John: and then you looked at her and told her well done and now that is all she says whenever anyone comes in through the door, Sherlock. It’s a problem.

[consultanttimedemon]

Sherlock: He fancies himself a hero, but in classical literature the hero always dies.

Mrs hudson: oh my heavens *sips tea*

John: sherlock I swear.... listen if you cant handle this just tell me. Because I'm THIS close to canceling game night.

Sherlock: *dramatically* WELL hE gavE me a HINT jaWN. What's the POINT in playing if I get hints! I dont want to win if I'm allowed to!

Greg: honestly it's not that complicated and it's already taken you thirty minutes to guess.

Sherlock: *takes a deep breath ready to cut them down*

Mrs hudson: *whispers to john* shall I go get the brandy?

[heccin-artist]

Mycroft was the maid of honor in the johnlock wedding because he thought the title was “made of honor”