#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman
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SAHW(ife)
New Years Resolutions Thing to do/learn in 2024🩷
•Create a vegetable garden 🌱
•Grow and use some produce 🧅🥔🧄🍅
•Grow some herbs 🌿
•Start a sourdough starter 🫙
•Bake sourdough bread 🍞
•Learn to eat meat after 11 years of vegetarianism
(Only local and organic) 🥩
•Make pickles from scratch 🥒
•Make hummus from scratch 🫛
•Pick a cherry from our tree 🍒
•Make a fruit jam/jelly 🍯
•Host a dinner party 🍽️
•Use our own compost ♻️
•Sew a dress 👗
•Do yoga on a weekly basis! 🧘🏻♀️
•Learn to curl my hair properly(1940's pageboy?) 💁🏻♀️ (this one changed into growing out my hair, my hair was too short for a nice pageboy😅
•Hug cows! 🐮
•Be kind to myself 🩷
(maybe I'll add more, idk 🤭)
•Make pasta(dough) from scratch! 🍝
•Use up my all non-natural, commercial cosmetics/soaps/lotions to then switch to more healthy natural options 🧼🧴💄
Ladies & Gents, I just made a YouTube. Subscribe & I’ll be returning the favor ❤️✨💅🏾
“I have no car, I have no job, I have no money.”
(...) Search terms like “stay-at-home girlfriend” (37.3 million views), “life as a stay-at-home girlfriend” (37.8 million views), “stay at home GF” (36.2 million views), and “SAHG” (34 million views) are increasingly popular on TikTok. The trend has been featured in recent pieces in the New York Post and the Wall Street Journal, the latter of which attributed it to “a Gen Z move away from mid-2000s ‘girl boss’ hustle culture, and toward aspirations of a softer life.” Some of the SAHGs describe their lifestyle in similar, seemingly progressive language: “People used to ask me, ‘What’s your dream job?’ I never knew the answer. I realized it’s because I don’t dream of labor. I dream of living a soft, feminine life and being a hot housewife. It’s as simple as that,” says influencer Kendel Kay (@kendelkay) in a video with 1.6 million views from September 2023.
But as some of the comments on these TikToks vocally point out, the life of a SAHG is risky, to say the least. “It’s all well and good until he breaks up with you,” wrote one. Enter: the side of SAHG TikTok you don’t see—the post-breakup videos warning you of the financial and emotional risks that come with this lifestyle. They might not be as sparkly or aspirational (which might explain why they don’t have as many views), but they’re just as real and important. And if you’re going to surrender financial independence to become a SAHG, you should go into it with clarity about what could happen if the relationship ends.
“If you give a man the power to feed you, he also has the power to starve you.”
One of the most popular SAHG breakup videos comes from beauty and lifestyle influencer Bella Greenlee (@zizzysizzle). “Coming as somebody who has been a stay-at-home girlfriend for three years, it’s not the life you want,” Greenlee says in the video. “If he is paying for your whole life and you don’t have any income at all, there will start to be resentment. I’m just glad that I was young, I didn’t have any kids, I was not married, and I was able to start my life before I wasted more years just staying in the house.” With over 3.2 million views, Greenlee’s video has been stitched time and time again, with some people agreeing with her, and others arguing that a man’s role should be to provide financially. When I chat with Greenlee over Zoom, she stands behind what she said in her video, “If you give a man the power to feed you, he also has the power to starve you.”
Greenlee says that becoming a SAHG was “something that slowly happened.” She and her ex started dating in the early days of COVID, when she was unemployed. As their relationship got more serious, she became financially dependent on him. To her followers, everything looked rosy. “I would post ‘my day in the life,’ videos, so it would be cleaning or making breakfast,” Greenlee says. “Everybody was thinking I was living this really peaceful, happy life.” But in reality, she says, “I would clean the house more than I had to, just to keep myself entertained. I didn’t really have a lot to do, so I was kind of going crazy.” The fact that she was relying on her then-boyfriend financially meant that, as she says, “I kind of felt like I had to walk on eggshells because I knew that he had the power to take away my whole life if he wanted to. I felt like I didn’t have a voice in the relationship.”
The situation really sunk in when Greenlee discovered her ex was cheating. “It was really hard for me to be like, Oh, I’m gonna leave like a regular woman would, because he was funding my whole life, so I couldn’t just leave like that,” she says. “I really had to make a game plan for myself.”
[She is now making her own money and in a new relationship] "(...) I definitely have to have my own career. I make it known to whoever I’m talking to that I’m always going to make my own money,” she says (...)
“I am absolutely left with nothing.”
Ari Luu (@yoohooits.ariluu) has also been documenting her experience of reinventing her life on TikTok. As she puts it on her podcast Delusional Daydreams, “I have no car, I have no job, I have no money, because to be quite honest, for the past three and a half years, I’ve been a stay-at-home girlfriend. I was put in this position to stay at home, be taken care of, and really be the support system for my partner. And by doing so, I gave away everything I had. And now I am absolutely left with nothing.” (...) When Luu first began dating her ex, she explored a variety of self-employment career paths, none of which ended up working out. Her then-partner was making enough to support them both, and he’d just bought a condo. Luu moved in. “That’s kind of how it started,” she tells me on Zoom. “He was really supportive throughout my whole journey, just like I was supportive in helping him advance in his career. The only difference was I wasn’t making money.”
(...) [Feeling tired of being the only one contributing to housework, she thought] “But you know, he was contributing financially. So then it’s like, How can I speak on that? That internal conflict just got stressful.” (...) She was also struggling with her self-worth, (...) “As time went, on I started getting more uncomfortable because I wasn’t contributing anything, and I want to be proud of my own life as well,” she says. “I want to feel like I’m doing something for myself.” (...)
“One of the ultimate financial scams.”
Financial expert Farnoosh Torabi (...) is, to put it lightly, not a fan of the stay-at-home girlfriend trend. “I think it's one of the ultimate financial scams,” she says, pointing out that while stay-at-home wives often have financial protections in the event of a divorce, like spousal support and equitable division of assets acquired during the marriage, stay-at-home girlfriends don’t. “I think if you believe in feminism, it also means that you have to care about your financial well-being,” she says. “Money is power. Money is protection. When you don’t have it, and your boyfriend has it, you don’t have power. You don’t have protection. What happens when you go from being a stay-at-home girlfriend to just a stay-at-home girl?” (...)
“Money becomes used as a tool to dominate you.”
It’s exactly because of the lack of power that stay-at-home girlfriends are at a high risk for financial abuse. “When you don’t have any say in where the money goes in the household, and there’s an emphasis on you not working, that is extremely dangerous,” Torabi says. “Suddenly, you may not have permission to go buy what you want, and you have to start asking for everything. Money becomes used as a tool to dominate you. I see this happening a lot. When one person isn’t working, they have less power and less say. The person who manages all of it can take advantage of that position.” (...)
I NEARLY TRIPPED AND FELL OVER MYSELF WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE NOTIF!!! Steady As He Goes! !!!!!
Listen this was like the 2nd or 3rd ever Steddie fic that I read (so its been a bit since I've read it LOL) and it was very formative in showing me how I enjoyed their relationship to be written and I just remember loving this with my whole heart
THANK YOU for giving me the chance to experience it all over again bc I gotta go re-read so I'm immersed once again and prepared for the final chapter!!
ALL THE LOVE TO YOU 💖💖
Wow thank you so much for the beautiful compliment. It means a lot to me, for real. It was the first fic I ever wrote for steddie, so it’s got a special place in my heart. (Which explains why I couldn’t just end it at 12 and had to do a lil continuation even tho it wasn’t strictly necessary.)😈🥺🥹🖤 I’m happy you’re excited!! I am too!!
I think you will enjoy the last chapter. I hope so!! It wraps everything up well, I think. It’s all softness, some more Wayne interaction and bonding, the promised bottom!Steve (I love me some switching) and pure love!! They’re the cutest boys. And did I mention THE BANTER? Steve and Eddie are bitches first and foremost!
All the love right back to you!!!
🖤🖤🖤
King ov Hell
SAHG-ETHER
