@steverogersbingo Card SB2003 / Square B5 Rappin’ with Cap (PSAs)
Major Tags: Sam & Steve, Fluff, Humor
Summary:
Sam’s never been on a movie set before. There’s a pissy director, one too many lights, and stale craft services. It doesn’t get any better than this.
Well, that was before his resident nonagenarians started blowing up his phone with increasingly incoherent voicemails.
Being Captain America apparently means PSAs, long shoot days, and two super soldiers leaving him drunken messages. Sam wouldn’t have it any other way.
Steve and Bucky show their support via house-sitting and raiding Sam’s supply of Asgardian glühwein. Read now on AO3!
After the events of the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Sam and Bucky decide to take and go visit Steve together. It will be the occasion for them to have a heart-to-heart talk with Steve and maybe get some closure. But it will also be the occasion for Sam and Bucky to talk about their relationship.
Sam and Bucky had to drive 5 hours before arriving at the gated building. They were finally there. There was a sign in bold letters at the top of the gate and you could read " Moon Heights Retirement Home". Bucky pressed the buzzer and smiled at Sam and said "let's go on the moon".
It was the first time they had come to visit Steve since he had decided to move there a few weeks ago. They had been busy with the flagsmashers, Zemo and the fight in New York and anyway, Bucky and Sam weren't really on speaking terms before that so they probably wouldn't have visited Steve together.
They found their way to the front desk, asked for Steve's appartement number and headed there.
Sam knocked on the door of apartment 118, and a few seconds later, the front door opened. Steve gave them one of his prettiest smiles "You're finally here, I've been waiting for this all day, come in". They all hugged and went inside.
Sam was still not used to seeing Steve like this. He was still the same Steve, with the same eyes, the same smile and the same charm, but he needed to get used to seeing him with wrinkles and grey hair, when just a month ago, he was looking as young as him and Bucky. Bucky liked to tease Steve and say that he looked like Joe Biden, but Sam didn't see it, he still saw the good old Steve.
They all sat down and Steve brought some drinks and snacks.
"Are you settling here alright?", Sam asked "Yes, it's perfect for me, the staff is very welcoming here and I still have my own space but I can also meet the other residents whenever I want"
"I'm happy you're happy, man"
"You know, this is not what I expected when you told me that you would be travelling back to time to join Peggy" Bucky teased, " I guess I never thought about what would happen after you came back, I thought we would all be living together again, I didn't imagine we would be visiting you in a retirement home".
"I know, I didn't expect this either, but to be honest, I had no plan"
"Well, I for one, didn't imagine anything. Hard to imagine something when I didn't know you were leaving..." Sam tried to keep his tone light and pass it up as a joke, but both Steve and Bucky could sense the bitterness in his voice.
Bucky felt the tension that was building up and thought that this was a perfect time for a talk between Sam and Steve, since they never really had a discussion about Steve's departure.
"I'll go grab some takeout and we can eat it here together, you stay and talk about this", said Bucky while standing up, he didn't let them any time to protest he was already out the door.
While driving to the restaurant, Bucky thought about all the times he had tried to broach the subject of Steve's departure with Sam, Sam would just clam up and say he was "fine", that Steve was a grown man and able to take decisions on his own.
Deep down, Bucky knew Sam was hurt by Steve leaving, even though it only lasted a few minutes. He was even more hurt that Steve had left without saying a word first.
Unfortunately, the person who would get Sam Wilson didn’t exist, Bucky getting Sam to talk about his feelings was like trying to give a dental exam to an alligator. And trust him, Bucky had tried several times. He had been carrying a crush for Sam for the past 7 years, but didn't think that Sam saw him as anything else than a friend, and even if he did, he never showed it. They had a thing back when Sam had found him in Prague, when he was hiding, but it was more of a friends-with-benefits kind of arrangement, feelings were not involved, but Bucky's feelings got involved anyway.
Bucky got scared, and didn’t want to risk getting attached to Sam only to find out that the feelings were one-sided. So he just left one day, but didn’t come back...He didn’t even say goodbye, he just left Sam, and stopped getting news. They have never talked about that time again. Not the next time they saw each other after Zemo had mind-controlled him, not when they were on the run, not when Sam came to visit him in Wakanda, and not when they came back from the snap.
They just settled into this sort of partnership but had never really talked about their past relationship, he just knew they were friends now. The problem was, Bucky wanted something more than friendship. And if he was being honest, his feelings for Sam stopped being a crush a long time ago, he was madly and deeply in love with Sam Wilson.
Back at the appartement, Steve and Sam sat in silence for a full minute without any of them talking. Finally, Sam asked something he had wanted to ask for a long time but didn't know how, "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I couldn't Sam"
"What do you mean you couldn't? You could tell Bucky but you couldn't tell me? Or maybe you just didn't care enough to bother..." Sam tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but it hurt, it hurt that the man he considered his best friend didn't trust him enough with his secrets. He knew Steve had known Bucky first, and that they had been best friends for a long time, but so were he and Steve.”
"I needed you Steve, I know that I never share anything but I have always needed you, you're my best friend and the only person who understands me because we have been through so much together,but apparently, I didn't even deserve a 'goodbye'"...Tears were starting to well up in Sam's eyes and he hated this, he hated feeling so vulnerable but he couldn't stop the tears even if he tried.
Steve stood up and went to sit next to Sam on the couch.
"I couldn't.." Steve's voice broke, "I couldn't tell you first because otherwise I would have never left, Sam" Sam stayed silent, because he didn't understand what Steve was saying.
"You meant everything to me Sam and you still do, just the thought of leaving you behind almost broke my resolve to leave, I just couldn't face you."
"Steve..." Sam was speechless,
"You know I love Bucky with all of my heart, you and him are my best friends and I am lucky to have the two of you in my lives, but Bucky and I have lived very separate lives and we're able to go our separate ways when necessary” Steve paused.
"But you, Sam, for the past few years we were joined at the hip, you were my other half, and we went through everything together. Our friendship is one of the best things that ever happened to me. There was a time when I didn't even think I could function without you. You were a part of me, and when you disappeared, I was lost Sam."
"Until then, there had never been a day in my life when you hadn't been there, we were either working together, or living together or seeing each other and when we couldn't, we would call each other or text each other, after that first day we met I had never lived a life without you in it.
When the snap happened, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I thought that I couldn’t do this without you. I lost my two best friends and at least with Bucky, I could trick my brain into thinking that he was still in Wakanda and that I would get to see him again in 6 months, but you were a part of me Sam, I couldn't trick my brain into being ok with not seeing you, I couldn't."
"The day I heard you saying "on your left" when we were fighting Thanos was the first time I had felt like myself again. But we had lost so much, Nat was gone and you had Bucky, and I realized how fragile life was and how I needed to start living my life too, I was done with avenging. I couldn't stay here Sam.
I wanted a chance at a life that I never had. I wanted to know romantic love and really experience it, and not just have a glimpse of it. I wanted what you and Bucky have and I couldn't get it in this timeline. I wanted a life with Peggy."
Sam needed time to process all of this, because of course he feels the same, Steve was Sam's best friend and his everything too, but something else in Steve's speech caught his attention. "What me and Bucky have? Bucky and I don't have anything, we're best friends, like you and me"
"Not like you and me, you and I don't look at each other like that, and you and I don't act like being away from each other for a few hours is the most painful thing in the world. But you and Bucky do. "
Sam wanted to object but Steve was not done talking, "Are we still pretending that there is nothing going on between the two of you? You are the only people on the planet who don't see how much you are in love with each other, and those who didn't know already got the picture at Tony's funeral"
"I was just comforting him, he's my friend. Besides, I'm pretty sure Bucky doesn't see me that way" Sam said,
"Oh really, Bucky doesn't see you that way? What about you then?" Steve teased, "Do you see Bucky 'that way'?"
Sam got embarrassed and didn't know what to say, if there was one thing he didn't want to talk about, it was his feelings for Bucky "It's irrelevant Steve, just drop it"
"Ok, I'll drop it, ...for now"
Sam put his head on Steve's shoulder. He needed to process all of this, he wasn't expecting Steve words, of course he had been hurt when Steve hadn’t said anything about wanting to leave. Steve meant the world to him too, otherwise, he wouldn't have put his life on hold for him, twice. He was relieved they had this talk, because at least now he understood Steve's decision more and knew that the reason why he didn't say goodbye wasn’t because he didn't care, but because he cared a little bit too much.
After a while Steve spoke again.
"I hope you'll forgive me someday." Steve whispered.
"I'm sorry I left you without a word Sam, and I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, I'm sorry I failed to see that you needed me, but I did come back. I know I'm different, but I'm still the same, I’m still your friend and I'm here now. I will be there for you as much as I can, I just couldn't tell you before because I would have never been able to look into your eyes and then leave."
Sam slowly lifted his head from Steve's shoulder and looked at him straight in the eyes, and didn't say anything. Steve stared back at him, and neither one of them knew who moved first, but their lips touched, just a gentle kiss nothing more, just to get some closer and settle this discussion once and for all. Sam and Steve knew this kiss didn't mean more than a friendly kiss after an emotional conversation. This kiss was Steve asking for forgiveness and Sam silently saying I forgive you. Unfortunately, that's the exact same moment Bucky chose to come back.
They hadn't heard Bucky come into the room, so both got startled when they heard plates and forks clattering on the floor. They looked up and Bucky was just standing there, with a shocked expression on his face. The bags of food he had just brought were on the floor, gravy leaking from one of them.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." Bucky didn't finish his sentence, he just bolted and started running away.
"Buck..It's not what..." But too late, Bucky had already left, Steve turned to Sam. "Run after him, talk to him".
Bucky didn't even go for the car, he knew Sam would need it on his way back, he just needed to get as far away as possible. he was so stupid, how did he ever think Sam could ever be into him, he should have tried to shut down his feelings at the very beginning, it was too late now. He was heartbroken, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was in the middle of nowhere, there was a main road and then only fields and crops surrounding him, but he kept walking until he heard someone calling him”.
"Bucky!" He kept walking, of course Sam would follow him, because Sam always did the right thing. "Bucky, where are you going?"
“Back to New York”
“You can't walk there”
“Watch me”
Bucky kept walking while answering Sam's questions.
"Bucky, wait, you know I can't keep up with your pace", Sam sounded like he was almost out of breath. Bucky felt guilty, usually, he always made sure he would match Sam's pace whenever the two of them were walking or running, but he had been so blinded by the hurt and the jealousy that he had forgotten about his super soldier speed and was being unfair to Sam, again.
Bucky slowed down and slowly turned around,
"What do you want, Sam? I'm fine, you can go back to Steve and get back to whatever you guys were doing, I didn't mean to interrupt you two" Bucky spat. He didn't know where all this anger was coming from but he couldn't control it.
Sam didn't understand Bucky's reaction, but suddenly he came to a realization.
" You told me you didn't love him " an identical feeling of anger an hurt rising within him, but he had taken a minute to analyse his feelings he would realized it wasn't anger he was feeling, but jealousy. "I asked you if you ever had feelings for Steve, and you said you didn't love him, not like that, that he was a friend, and NOW you're jealous because of a friendly kiss?"
Bucky got even angrier and said through gritted teeth, "You think that I'm jealous because of Steve??? I don't care who Steve dates. How clueless are you Sam?”
“Why else would you react like this? If it isn't jealousy, what is it then?” Sam wondered what other reason would explain Bucky’s reaction. He refused to believe Bucky had a problem with him being gay, but he had to be sure.
"I know we never talked about it, but I thought you already knew I liked men, and it didn’t seem to bother you, when we were hooking up in Europe", Sam sounded disappointed.
"This is getting better and better, now you think I'm homophobic…? Great. You know what I'm done, go back to Steve, I'll catch you later. Or not." Bucky started walking again.
Sam started following him, but then stopped, he was still fuming and wasn't sure he believed Bucky when he said this wassn't about Steve. Sam was getting tired of this attitude and wasn’t going to follow him anymore, he has always been the one reaching out, and making the efforts whenever Bucky got into a mood and he was done too. "Alright then, walk away, like you always do" Sam shouted " Typical James Buchanan Barnes behavior".
Bucky stopped in his tracks and went back from where he came from to face Sam.
"What the f*ck did you just say?" Bucky was still away when Sam had started talking but Sam knew he was still within hearing distance.
"I said this is what you always do, you bolt whenever any minor inconvenience, you bolt, leave everything behind and don't care about who you're hurting in the process. That's what you did after Prague, that's what you did when you chose to stay in Wakanda even when the trigger words were de-activated, and that's what you did after we came back from the blip.” Sam paused.
“I kept reaching out to you, but Mr. Barnes was just to busy being wrapped up in his own issues to even consider answering a simple text" "You know what? I have never seen a person as self-centered as you, and I’m done putting up with this. Do you ever think about who you are leaving behind?" " Did you even ask yourselfhow Steve and I feel you just go off like this and wondering when we will get to see you again just because you decided to throw yet another tantrum!"
Bucky wanted to be angry at Sam's words, but he kept thinking back to the words of his therapist he was seeing about how he was a self-sabotage and how he would protect himself and his feelings at all costs even when the cos was hurting other people’s feelings. And he was doing it again now.
"You're right Sam, I'm sorry, I flee, I always run awy when I get the chance and I didn’t even give you an explanation for all the times that I left "
Sam was little taken aback, he certainly wasn't expecting this reaction from Bucky, far from it. He didn't even know what to say next.
"I'm staying Sam, I'm sorry. What did you want to tell me?" Bucky said in a very soft voice, almost scared.
Sam had rarely seen this side of Bucky.
"You're saying it's not jealousy, what is it then? If it's not about jealousy and not about me liking men, what is it about?"
" I never said it wasn't jealousy", countered Bucky
"You said you didn't care about who Steve dated"
" I never said it wasn't jealousy" Bucky sighed, "I said wasn't jealous about Steve",
"What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean...?"
"I don't know Buck, you tell me...Stop talking in circles"
"I'm talking about you Sam!" Bucky murmured, on the verge of tears, "It has always been you, always"
Sam can hear Bucky's words, but doesn't seem to comprehend them, it's like suddenly Bucky is speaking another language.
"You..like me?" Sam asked carefully, tears running from his eyes, all the anger from before was gradually leaving his body,
"I don't like you Sam, I love you, I'm in love with you and since I'm already making a fool of myself, I'll add that I have been for a long time, and I have never felt what I feel for you before, and I want you in my life"
"Bucky I .." Sam started,
Bubky cut him off, " Don't, please don't. You don't have to say anything Sam, this doesn't have to be a thing, you know my feelings now, so let it go, forget I ever said and this and let me go lick my wounds in peace,"
"Lick your wounds, why would you..." Sam stopped as if a thought had popped into his head. " Do you think your feelings are one-sided?" "Bucky, I'm in love with you too, silly, why do you think I agreed to that stupid plan with Zemo? Or that I kept texting you, or that I came to see you in Wakanda, why do you think I look at you whenever I have the chance? Why do you think that I would rather eat pre-cooked packaged food with you than a home cooked meal whenever I can." "I love you Bucky but I never imagined you loved me back.”
Bucky didn’t say anything, he just smiled and launch himself at Sam, he went all in and unsurprisingly Sam caught him, Bucky put has arms around Sam’s neck and wrapped his legs around Sam’s hips. Unfortunately, Sam couldn’t hold the weight of the super soldier for long and they feel in the grass a few seconds later. They were both laying on the ground, Bucky on top of Sam, but Sam didn’t ask him to get off this time, he just looked at him and laughed “ I hate you”, Bucky laughed back and did something he had wanted to do for a while, he kissed his partner.
Sam kissed Bucky back, he gently grabbed Bucky by the back of his neck and kissed him like he had never kissed anyone before.
Sam had been waiting for this moment for years, almost a decade, and they sure had kissed plenty of times, back when they had their little arrangement in Europe, but it had never felt like this. Grounded. Everlasting The kisses they had shared before were always tentative, uncertain, Sam was never sure he would see Bucky again.
But now he knew he was there to stay.
*This is my first ever fic/ficlet, but I decided to write this after I had a dream about this story hahaha! Hope you like it, but if you don’t like it, DON’t let me know. Criticism is not welcome😂, this is my first work so it’s far from being smooth and flawless.
I am having too much fun creating memes. But this really did irritate me about the fandom.
If I quit my good 9 to 5 job and go super-heroing at your side for no money and have to go on the run... best believe not only are we besties... but you will be the godparent to my child and emergency contact.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
before the universe sprang into existence, before the infinity stones scattered across the galaxy, there was sam. “space, power, reality, time, they unfold like a map before all of them, him and his siblings. the first cries of life echo through the emptiness and something answers back.”
“I see your ten...and I raise you another five…” Sam said, arching his eyebrow and scooting the stacks of chips towards the center of the table.
“I see your five and I call…” Steve slammed his cards down, a full house. “Kings over tens…” He folded his hands behind his head in smug triumph.
Sam chuckled. “Sorry Cap. I know it’s Valentine’s, but you ain’t gonna like these hearts…” He lay his cards out one at a time. Ten, Jack, Queen, King and Ace. All in hearts. Sam reached over and tugged on Steve’s elbow making a loud swishing sound the whole time. “Time for a FLUSH!”
So I told my dad how the fandom thought Sam Wilson was Hydra because “he was friends with Steve to fast”
What he said was that they’re both war vets. Steve from WWII and Sam from the Middle East.
That its natural for men and women to become quick friends when they experience the army. Because you know what it’s like. Basic training, being yelled at by your Sergeant, being fired upon, losing friends to warfare.
It’s a thing you experience and understand without having to express it.
He said that he could go to a bar and make friends in one night with a war vet because they’ve both experienced the military than someone at work that he’s known for four years.
So the fact that people say that they became friends “to fast” is stupid.
To him, Sam’s & Steve’s friendship was accurate for who they are and what they were. It resembled how real vets became friends.
