Hey, so my ex and I split a few months ago. She finally admitted to cheating on me tonight. I still like her and she still does me... Please could anyone suggest what to do?? Cheers, Sanau
I am sorry to hear about your break up and even more sorry to hear about the fact she cheated on you. That must be horrible but at least she had the decency to admit it even if it was after you had broken up. Obviously getting back with someone after they have cheated is a very hard thing to do but it van be done and can be successful. I know it's hard but if you do get back together you have got to learn to move on from the past. Every time you get in an argument, it would be so easy for you to bring it up and use it against them, or even to manipulate them… Or, in some cases, they can even use it to manipulate you without you even realizing it, in the sense that you could become so scared that they’ll do it again that you’ll do whatever they want you to…. “If I say no, they might cheat on me again” type thing. This won’t work. You have to almost forget it ever happened, never mention it again. One of you should not have a weapon against the other that you can bring out at any moment to end an argument, hurt the other person, or get what you want. When you’re working on forgiving someone; you have to talk it through, you have to talk through everything, even if it’s an uncomfortable conversation, you have to do it, otherwise things get stuck in your mind and they go round and round and round and they blow themselves out of proportion and they just eat you alive. Trust me on that one, the only way to get on the first rung to forgiveness is to talk, talk talk…. Ask them everything you need to ask, why they did it, etc, and ask them untill you are satisfied with their answer, this will only work if you believe in what they’re saying… then you tell them how it made you feel, beytrayed, small, insignificant, like there’s something wrong with you, and let them apologize and say their sorry untill you can see the remorse in their eyes… you have to trully believe that they are sorry for what they did before you can forgive and move on. Because if you don’t really believe that they know how much they hurt you and that they are sorry and remorseful, then you’re never going to believe that they won’t do it again. Also you need to learn to trust them sure this is going to be hard and they need to give you the time to trust them again it isn't going to be easy but it's something you have to learn to do to move on. You can't think that if they haven't answered a text that they are cheating you need to learn to trust them again. you are both going to have to work on your relationship and spend time together going on dates and trust each other again. If you both like each opther and are both goign to work at your relationship for it to be a success then go for it, but I am bot saying it is going to be easy. Please do be careful because I would hate for it to happen again. I would rather you have loved and lost than regret not giving it another try. Hopefull yit'll all work out for you.
