Something I’ve been very proud of myself for is my ability to more fearlessly wear my heart on my sleeve. I feel like being loud about the people or things you love is frowned upon for some reason. Or, maybe not frowned upon, but more avoided? Cuz of a fear of being too much? Or judged? I think…. It’s so important to love things, and share that love, even if people make fun of you for it.
Idk I’ve been getting more flack lately from randos on the internet. Calling me weird, cringe, whatever- all that junk. And I guess I’m happy because despite hearing those messages I’m able to sit here and think “I like how I am, even if you don’t”. It takes a lot to gain that kind of security in myself, so I’m happy. I wanna keep loving fearlessly.
The sun had gone down two hours ago, the stars brilliant under the cover of total darkness, the moon the only source of light left. Lance held his guitar in his lap as he sat in the open trunk of their car, his ring glinting in the moonlight. His voice rang out softly, strumming a soft melody on the guitar, eyes closed.
Keith on the other hand had his eyes very much open, watching the other raptly. His face illuminated by the soft blue moonlight, as he sang quietly, a melody for their ears only. For them and only them.
Lance's eyes popped open as he smiled at Keith, and they stayed there, music softly flowing around them, taking in the sight of one another. Even once he had finished singing, Lance continued playing quietly, hands moving absentmindedly. Keith's hair had been pulled up into a ponytail, and Lance could see his whole face clearly. It really was a nice sight, his eyes reflecting the bright stars above them as they just smiled at each other.
Eventually his hands stilled, the last note ringing around them faintly until it dissipated. The sounds of night encroached, crickets, and toads croaking. Cicadas chirping around them, and the faint sound of the breeze whispering through the trees.
He set the guitar down as the both scooted closer, meeting each other in the middle. An arm wrapped around Lance's shoulder, and two hugged Keith's waist gently as they looked up at the stars. The silence was comfortable, and the white noise of the night was reassuring, soothing and faded.
"I love you," one of them whispered, after what felt like an eternity of comfortable silence.
"I love you too," came the soft response as the looked at one another. They stayed like that for several seconds before Lance leaned forward, gently kissing Keith, a smile on both of their faces. Everything was perfect.
Sanvers "Your Satan" ! I love your writing btw, I was hoping you'd come back soon!!
19. “You’re Satan” (Note: Pretend that the Jeremiah plotline never happened, and he just died)
“Maggie?” Alex whispered, prodding softly at the cocoon of blankets on the bed. “Mags, wake up.”
The only response was a quiet grumbling and slight shifting from the fluffy mound. Alex dug her fingers into the comforter, poking more firmly at Maggie’s side. When the sleeping woman only wiggled further from her touch, Alex sighed and used her last resort. She slipped her icy fingers past plush material and dark locks to settle against the warm skin of Maggie’s neck.
The woman bolted upright, gasping as she gathered the blankets more firmly around herself to ward off the chill. “What the fuck? Babe, what time is it?” Maggie asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
Taking in the sleep-disheveled tangles nearly consuming Maggie’s head and the grumpy scowl on her face, Alex couldn’t help but smile. It felt right to see her wife like this, sitting in her old bed, cocooned in one of her old comforters, surrounded by the old surf posters and science awards filling her childhood bedroom. It felt like home. She gently moved a couple strands from Maggie’s face, saying, “it’s a little after 3:30 in the morning.”
“Ughhh, you’re Satan,” Maggie grumbled and flopped back onto the mattress, rolling away from Alex to the other side.
Alex rolled her eyes in mild exasperation, having already anticipated her wife’s usual reluctance to leaving bed. “Mags, come on.”
When Maggie didn’t respond, Alex poked at the blanket lump that she assumed was Maggie’s butt. “Don’t go back to sleep. Please?”
“Why not?” Maggie asked, peeking back over her shoulder and regretting it instantly when she saw the deadly pout playing across Alex’s face.
“Because I have something to show you.”
There was a little sparkle in Alex’s eyes, and Maggie already knew she was going to do whatever her wife asked of her. That didn’t stop her from sulking. “And it couldn’t have waited until morning?”
Alex snorted softly and, with a teasing smile, replied, “Well, technically, since it’s after midnight, it’s already morning so—”
“Alex.” Maggie huffed, grumpily.
Alex’s smile just broadened. “No, it can’t wait until morning. In fact,” she paused, glancing over Maggie’s head at the digital clock on the bedstand, “if we don’t get up now, we won’t be able to see it, at all.”
Maggie waited a moment, playfully glaring at Alex, before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. “Alright, alright. I’m getting up … it’s against my will, but I’m getting up.” She caught Alex’s shoulders bouncing with silent laughter, and a sleepy grin spread unbidden across her lips.
After a nice full body stretch, Maggie pulled her comforter tightly around her shoulders and asked around a yawn, “where are we going anyways?”
“The roof,” Alex said, nodding to one of the massive windows stretching across the far wall. Alex’s smile was absolutely dazzling. It made Maggie feel like she was missing something, but she let herself be dragged out onto a small stretch of roof where a quilt was spread out over the shingles.
Turning to look up at her wife in confusion, Maggie asked, “What are we doing out here?”
Alex’s smile was still just as blinding. “Just wait.”
Maggie, ever the impatient woman, pouted as she plopped down onto the quilt. A cool breeze blew in off the ocean sweeping her bed-head gently around her face. She snuggled into her blanket, glad for its warmth against the crisp night air.
A knee gently nudged Maggie’s shoulder, and she glanced up to see a pitiful-looking Alex with her arms wrapped around her tank top-clad torso. “Can you un-burrito yourself and share?”
“Nope!” Maggie replied with a devilish grin. “Not my fault you didn’t plan ahead.”
Alex’s features, again, dropped into a pout, and a shiver wracked her frame in a way that Maggie could have sworn was a little too theatrical. Pitiful, her wife looked pitiful, but she wasn’t going to cave.
… Except she absolutely was, but not because she was a pushover. Nope, Maggie would never admit to that. It was simply because Alex was just too damn cute. The little crinkling of her nose. The gentle flutter of her lashes. The soft downward pull of her lips. More than three seconds and Maggie was a goner. For the second time in less than five minutes, she caved to that pout.
She reluctantly unbundled, shivering when, for the briefest moment, the cool ocean air settled around her. Then warmth returned as Alex snuggled in behind her, wrapping her body around Maggie and the duvet around them both. The pair shifted around, getting comfortable under the night sky. Alex leaned against the wall at her back and pulled Maggie more tightly to her, to settle against her chest. Maggie reveled in the comfort of her wife’s arms and threaded their fingers together while Alex’s free hand traced delicate patterns across her stomach.
For a few minutes, they sat in comfortable silence, listening to the crashing waves in the distance. Soothed by the rise-and-fall of Alex’s chest at her back and the feel of Alex’s skin against her own, Maggie could feel her eyelids drooping again, but her descent back into the realm of dreams was halted by whispered words, ghosting over her cheek.
“Do you see that row of three stars?” Alex asked, reaching out of their warm cocoon to point out the pinpricks of light twinkling in the southern sky. Maggie nodded, taking in the vast sparkling expanse before her. The dancing lights were so much more numerous than the handful of glimmers within National City’s limits. Seeing them reflected back on the surface of the ocean was almost nostalgic, reminding Maggie of the fields back in Blue Springs, filled with what felt like infinite fireflies flitting around beneath the endless night sky.
Alex pulled her from her reverie, saying, “That’s Orion … or well, his belt. But the rest of him is up there, too.” She chuckled breathily, tightening her arms further around Maggie. “He’s my favorite, you know? A huntsman and a hero, forever immortalized …. He—” Alex’s voice cracked slightly, and broke off. Sighing wistfully, Alex fiddled with the wedding band on Maggie’s finger and dropped her head forward to rest it against the crook of Maggie’s neck.
“My dad used to bring me out here to look at the stars … to tell me stories about them. Orion was the first.”
It was a simple statement, but Maggie could feel the undercurrent of something … something different from the usual sadness and longing that filled Alex’s heart when she remembered her father. With the slightly rough, hitched breaths spilling across Maggie’s shoulder, Maggie wanted nothing more than to pull her wife into arms, but she knew that wasn’t what Alex needed. She wanted—needed—to say something more, so Maggie stroked her thumb over an anxiously fidgeting hand and waited.
“After he was … gone, I didn't— I couldn't— it hurt. Everything hurt. I-I couldn’t come out here anymore. I didn’t want to share this with anyone else. It was his and my thing, you know?”
Maggie’s soft, understanding nod against the side of her head urged Alex to continue. Her whispered voice came again, “It … it hurt less after a while. I still missed him, but it didn’t feel like …” She hesitated and huffed out a breath, unable to put words to that pressing, overwhelming feeling of loss that had filled her chest, her head, her very being; but Maggie knew. Maggie understood. She squeezed Alex’s hand, and Alex squeezed back.
Talking about him, even after all these years was so unfathomably difficult. At every mention, Alex could feel the ghost of that icy knife—that first he’s gone—twisting in her heart. Lifting her head from Maggie’s shoulder, she sighed and stared out at the stars for a little while, dragging Maggie more deeply into her hold. The way Maggie cuddled back into her made her feel like some of the stars had escaped the sky and found a new home in her chest. The warmth, while not removing them completely, was enough to melt some of the jagged edges that had lived within her for far too long. Keeping her eyes on Orion, Alex continued, “Even then, it still …it didn’t feel right, bringing anyone else out here, sharing our thing with someone new … but you make me want to share it, again.”
Maggie tilted her head towards her, and Alex could see a watery smile that matched her own. She reached a hand out of their blanket bundle to brush across Maggie’s dimpled cheek.
“He would have loved you so much, Maggie. All—” Alex had to pause, her breath catching in her throat as silent tears started to fall. “All he ever wanted me to be was h-happy, and you make me unbelievably so.” Her whispered words were reverent, a prayer and a promise. “When I’m with you, I-I’m warm and safe and home. I haven’t felt that in a long time, not since he stopped being able to bring me out here for hot chocolate and stories from the stars.”
Maggie turned in Alex’s arms. She could see the starlight dancing on Alex’s tearstained cheeks and feel Alex’s breath tickling over her own equally tear-dampened face. A bittersweet smile spread across Alex’s lips as she leaned her forehead against Maggie’s and said, “I like to think he would have been able to see that.”
Soft calloused fingers traced gently over cheeks, smoothing away tears, while they sat there, simply breathing each other in. “Thank you,” Maggie whispered and turned her head to place a kiss on Alex’s palm. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
“I love you,” Alex replied, simply, like it was the answer to everything, and maybe it was.
“I love you, too,” Maggie murmured, pressing soft kisses against Alex’s cheeks, nose, and finally—finally—her lips. She was about to lose herself in the warm feeling of home until lights started flashing across her closed eyelids.
Alex pulled back, grinning. “Oh hey, it’s starting!”
“Wha—” Maggie began to ask as she turned around, but the words died on her lips. Streaking a burning trail across the sky was the start of a meteor shower. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered in awe.
“So are you,” Alex said, nuzzling the side of Maggie’s neck.
“Sap.” Maggie snickered at Alex’s affronted scoff.
“Only with you.”
Maggie playfully swatted the arm still firmly wrapped around her middle under the blanket and peeked over her shoulder, nearly melting at the warm smile stretching across her wife’s face. Maybe getting forcibly removed from bed at an ungodly hour wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened this morning. As Alex leaned forward and captured Maggie’s lips in a slow, deep kiss that left her breathless, Maggie decided, no, this was definitely better than sleep.
Drabble Prompt Challenge: Feel free to send more prompts my way!
Darling Anon, thank you so much! You are too sweet! The short update on why I’ve been gone is basically college has been kicking my ass, but I’m trying to get back into the swing of things! I hope you enjoyed this <3 <3 <3
Hey so guess who has had an amazing couple of days and is feeling extremely sappy right now???
Soooo, let’s start with my wonderful and amazing Ice Dragon @prinxietyhell
Revlis is my actual love and I’ve known them since we were both young things (I have middle school pictures of them. they were soooo cute. still are tbh). I have loved them for probably a few years and by their own admission, they have loved me for five. We have known that it was mutual for around a year. Despite this, it took us until tonight to actually do the dating thing. I haven’t been this happy on so long I forgot what it felt like. You’re just so beautiful and amazing and great. You’re as cold as ice ;) in the best way possible and I’m so glad we met and that I got to take you to prom and that you’ve stayed in my life. You’ve helped me heal so much even when I didn’t realize I was hurting. You mean the multiverse to me and I hope after this lifetime we meet again in the next.
Annnd next shall be my lovely little prince @lampisimportant
Scrubs is amazing and I love them so much. I’m so happy this fandom brought us together. As of two nights ago, I’ve had the honor of calling Scrubs my datemate. They make me so happy and they were really one of my first internet friends. They’re so kind and amazing and handsome and wonderful. I’m just so lucky to have them as my little Prince. The way we got together was a bit of a fiasco there was crying and emotions and misunderstanding but I’m just so happy that it happened. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. They are my universe and my prince. I want to meet them in person so that I can give them the biggest hug and cuddle them and aaaaaaaaaaa.
Next up is my wonderful and amazing gaylaxy @sanderssides-fics
This. Boy. I love Cody so much and he deserves so much love and affection and just so much more than what he’s given. He’s great and handsome (I actually got to see his face and!!! Oh my god!!!) and just so sweet. He comes up with the best nickname (NBula and Gaylaxy to name a couple) and on that same note is great puns. He is another of the people I want to know outside of the internet because he’s just so amazing and loveable and I want to give him hugs and cuddles too. He even found one of my weaknesses! more than one technically but I don’t think he realized that... I love him to pieces and I would actually kill a man if I found out they did something to him. technically I’d do this for any of these guys
And finally, there is my fire dragon @analogicalhell
PJ is the best dad friend ever. There isn’t even any question about this. He found out I did something stupid and gave me the Dad look and I just felt guilty immediately. I love him so much and I’m glad that Rev introduced us because he is just a great person to talk to and he has a calming aura to him even in text form. For someone so full of fire he sure is a cool guy. He was actually present for both of my getting together with both people. So that’s kinda cool that he was able to keep me calm enough to get through both. Also, he knows the other person I may or may not be crushing on o o p s. Overall he’s just fantastic and I care about him so much.
HEY i know you guys have tons of requests to do but an idea for a scenario got stuck in my head and i can't get it out!!! can i maybe have a scenario where oikawa and his s/o go to a very fancy restaurant and when they finish eating, oikawa gets down on one knee, pulls out a tiny square box, and proposes to his s/o?? and uuuh the s/o says(drumroll pleaase)......... YES! i really truly hope this makes sense!!!! thank you!
MY PROFESSORS SUDDENLY ANNOUNCED THAT OUR TEST TOMORROW IS CANCELLED. I AM MAD AND I NEED TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF. Hope you like it~! ~ Dree
Oikawa was sweating by the buckets. He had been planning this special day for what feels like ages. Even though, he can’t stop feeling as if something will go wrong. He even made a checklist to make sure he didn’t miss anything! Coat and tie? Check. Ring? Check. Pep talk from Iwa-chan? Double check. He was sure nothing bad would go wrong if they just follow the plan he’d set. That thought didn’t stop him from calling Iwaizumi the last minute.
“Oikawa,” the former ace growled, “I swear to all that is holy, stop calling me. You’ll do fine. They’ll say yes. You’ll finally-- finally-- stop pestering me all the damn time. It’s a win-win for everyone.” Oikawa can just picture his best friend’s face contorted in annoyance.
He pouted in response to his visual. “But what if...” He paused, saying so out loud would make the possibility more real. “... what if they don’t. What then?”
Iwaizumi sighed on the other side of the line, the same time Oikawa turned his head to check around the restaurant. They had both agreed to meet there even though Oikawa insisted on picking them up from their abode. “Oikawa. You know I wouldn’t say anything as sappy as this unless I mean it.”
He faintly heard the chatter of the surrounding tables and looked up once more. “They’ll come into the restaurant and you two will smile at each other that silly way you always do.” It was then that they had entered his peripheral vision. His head snapped to their direction in hopes of seeing them better.
“You’ll stare at them and practically ignore anything and everything.”
He smiled at them and was graced with the most breathtaking quirk of the lips. Oikawa stood up and greeted them as he took in their outfit for the night. Gorgeous. Breathtaking. Phenomenal. One look at their warm eyes made him forget about the man on the phone.
“You’ll get down on one knee and pour your heart out. And you know what then?”
“What?” He whispered, a little out of breath.
“You’ll win. You always do. Because your Oikawa Tooru and you always, always give it your best. Now get off this phone and get that ring on their hand.”
Without another word, Oikawa ended the call and slipped his phone in his pocket, all the while never letting his eyes stray from their form. “Beautiful.” He greeted them breathlessly with his hand outstretched in invitation.
With a shy smile, they placed their hand on his and they both sat on the table. “You, Oikawa Tooru, are a sappy guy. But this level of sap is a little bit unlike you.” Y/N told their significant other in a teasing tone.
Oikawa shrugged slightly and smiled. “Good days and bad.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh? And what’s today?”
He shrugged again. “We’ll see.” The he smiled at them, a little wickedly but without its usual charm that trademarked Oikawa Tooru.
The night went on swimmingly, so much so that he even lost almost all of his nerves. If someone was asked how they think Oikawa Tooru will propose, they would make up this exaggerated fantasy that included fireworks or sky writing. But Oikawa Tooru liked to wow a person-- especially if said person was L/N Y/N. He went with simple and romantic. A thing only a handful of people know about Oikawa Tooru is that he loves the classics. It’s only fitting for him to propose in the most classic way possible, yes?
“So,” Y/N started, their eyes gazing at him from underneath their lashes. “What’s with the fancy restaurant?”
Oikawa shot her a mock offended look. “I can’t take the one I love on a fancy restaurant date? Is that what you’re saying, Y/N-chan? I’m hurt.” He ended his show with his hand on his chest.
Y/N laughed lightly at their boyfriend’s antics. “You hate fancy shmancy.” Their words were so certain and sharp it almost cut through their steaks better than their knives can. “I didn’t forget anything, right?”
With his nerves coming back full force, Oikawa placed his hand on top of theirs on the table. “Y/N, love, don’t worry. You aren’t forgetting anything.” At this, Y/N visibly sagged in relief. “The thing is, we’ve been together for some time now and I want you to know that I love you very much. I’m in love with you. And I love how you’ve always been there for me. You were there when I found out I can’t play anymore. You were there when I graduated from high school. You were there when I collapsed because of uni hell week. You were there when I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. You were there. You were there. And...” Oikawa had to pause, he couldn’t look up from their joined hands in fear of what he might see. Deep breath. Look up. As soon as their eyes made contact, he could feel warmth gush into his very soul at the sight of their glassy eyes. “And I want to be here for you until the end. I want to be the one waiting at the altar while you walk down the aisle. I want to be the one looking on at you and our family. I want to be the one. I want to be the one. So...”
Oikawa Tooru stood up from his chair and walked over to their side of the table before bending on one knee. At this point, almost half of the restaurant were watching them with huge smiles on their faces. “Will you, L/N Y/N, make me the happiest man in the universe and marry me?”
Y/N couldn’t believe it was here. The day they had been dreaming about, coming to life right in front of her. “That depends.” They said and they could already see him deflating, his hope diminishing. “Can you be happier than an alien?”
Suddenly, there was a twinkle in his eyes. “I will make you happier than every alien in this universe.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Oikawa.” They teased him while holding out their hand for him to take. “You adorkable man. Of course I’ll marry you.”
It was then that Oikawa knew life couldn’t get better than this.
She won’t let the medical examiner touch him, won’t let anyone, anyone perform an autopsy.
“We need to know what they did, Dana.”
“No,” she says, firm. “We know what they did. They killed him.” And her voice is like iron.
She sits with him for hours. Her knees hurt. She’s thrown up four times since she’s been here. It’s cold. Still, she won’t let anyone touch him, won’t hardly move, lest her demand be ignored.
Her eyes are rubbed carmine against the ash of her skin. She won’t cry. How can you cry if you’re dead? she thinks. He can’t cry; she can’t cry.
She holds his hand.
Skinner finds her this way, hours later, expression vacant, still touching him. She is a beautiful thing made of glass that has broken.
“You can’t,” he says, but she only stares at him. “You can’t stay. We need to bring him home,” he insists.
At this her mask trembles. Home. Bring him home. That’s all she wanted to do. She won’t let go when Skinner touches her shoulder. “I just need this one moment. This last one.”
But when she says the word last, something cracks. She feels the spreading fissure all along the surface of her self. She will be nothing but powder soon. Last one, she thinks. The last one. She imagines the so many lasts she has now to think of. Last smile, last stupid joke, last “good morning” into her neck with a warm hand under her pajama top. And this: the last touch. Her hand is as cold as his.
In the end, Skinner has to bring her from the morgue himself, has to almost carry her. She leaves her heart in the room with him.
In the airport, Skinner hands her a bottle of orange juice, a muffin, and she only then remembers the baby. She cries again for failing them both.
-
Months later, when his hand is warm again, but not yet his heart, she wonders if he can see the glue, if he knows that there are pieces missing. She thinks they are both cold and ungrateful. Gratitude requires acceptance, and she is not quite sure if this is real. And at his overturned life, she wonders what he has to be grateful for anyway. She wonders if he had been ready, if he’d wanted to die—and that is why he let himself love her. He was not expecting to be here for this: the hard part of living.
His life feels a flimsy thing and disposable. He nearly throws it away again. And then again. She cannot stand the waiting to lose him a second time, but waiting is all she can do. It is all she has known since she lost him.
Until one night he thaws. At her door, two a.m., eyes red and voice croaking.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
She opens the door, opens her arms, and he falls into them, nose against her neck at last and then, again, finally again, she won’t stop touching him. His skin is warm, his jaw rough, muscles hard under her eager touch. The thaw spreads like blood into cotton and they absorb it all. His fingers cradling her belly, petting her cheek: “I’m sorry.”
Her own fingers, up under his shirt to graze his chest, tremble on his hope-warmed skin. “Are you here?” She asks.
“I’m here,” he says. With his own, he brings back her heart.
