((So! It's been 3 years today since Ghost, the spooky boi, was born which means it's been about 3 years since I came back to RP as a hobby (yes I am a person who got a puppy and picked up RP within a few weeks of each other)
RP is such an engaging hobby, and I am so fucking lucky to have so many amazing people to write with and who actively put up with my constant nonsense!
I just wanted to do a post to say thank you so much for all the fun times, both from the people who have known me for years and the people I have only recently connected with, and I hope for many more to come
And, of course, I hope everyone on here gets to write what they want and have fun creating stories together 💜💜💜
“I can’t begin to thank you enough for this, Cassie. We really appreciate it,” Audrey said, grabbing Bendy’s hand before he could wander off. The imp seemed to pout at the gesture. They’d only been inside their local aquarium for a few seconds and he was already trying to get into trouble. Sounds like Bendy alright.
Ink hovered nearby, trying his best to look disinterested. Probably grouchy due to her waking him up from his late afternoon nap.
”Think nothing of it, Rey,” Her strawberry blonde companion smiled. Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail, her side swept bangs already falling out of its hairband. “I’ve got security scouting the perimeter, and the rest of our late-night employees are gladly sharing some drinks in the break room. They won’t be out for at least an hour or so. Which means… you three have got this place all to yourselves. With a secret behind the scenes tour, might I add.” She winked at Bendy. The toon was practically radiating with uncontrollable energy.
”What about the cameras?” Ink scoffed, looking up.
Cassie decided to ignore the concealed venom in that inquiry. “Won’t be any problem. They’re down because of maintenance repairs. Which, is my way of saying I deactivated them for tonight.”
”Are you really sure about this? I feel awful not paying for anything,” Audrey piped up, cheeks burning in embarrassment.
Cassie dismissively waved her hand. “Eh. You help out around here on enough occasions. Think of this as your reward between good friends.”
”Come on! Are we going to explore or what??” Bendy impatiently interrupted, tugging Audrey forward. She stumbled to try and keep up with him.
Cassie led the way towards the first set of viewing galleries. Various fish in all shades of color wove in and out of a miniature coral reef bursting with life.
”Ooo,” Bendy went up to the glass and planted his face against it, as if that would give him a better angle.
”Is he going to do that at every exhibit we come across?” Ink grumbled from behind.
Bendy momentarily looked away from the clusters of dancing fish to blow a raspberry. “We never get to do stuff like this! Let me be excited!”
Audrey felt a stab of guilt at that statement. As much as she wished, it was hard to sneak two inky demons through the city. There were many wonders she wished they could experience. They only knew the studio after all.
Cassie leaned against the acrylic and crossed her arms. “Any one of them catch your eye?” She asked Bendy.
”Nemo,” was Bendy’s immediate response.
”Nemo would make a rather menial meal,” Ink remarked teasingly. Audrey raised an eyebrow at him and couldn’t help the snort that escaped her.
”No! No eating the fish!” Bendy shrieked with an annoyed look.
”How about we go see a creature that would make a meal out of you?” Cassie challenged Ink with a snicker. “Well, they might actually mistake you for one of their kind.”
”That’d better not be an insult,” Ink gruffly replied. Audrey’s curiosity was piqued, coupled with concern for her friend’s safety. Was she being genuine or playful? It was hard to tell with her.
They passed by a few more viewing galleries. Audrey and Ink had to corral Bendy forward if he got too distracted or lagged a bit too long in one area. She didn’t want him to miss out on anything before they had to leave.
Eventually, they stopped underneath an acrylic dome raised a few feet above their heads. Various fish and shark species swam around them in the clear blue waters. Bendy was busy admiring the view when Cassie pointed at a shark with black fin tips and scraggly teeth. “See? That’s you,” she said to Ink.
Her older brother finally seemed interested in the outing. “Really?” He asked a bit skeptically.
Audrey felt a shark fit. Framed as monsters in Hollywood, but quite solitary and docile in reality. Well, unless it mistakes you for a seal. Deadly on the outside, but intelligent on the inside. Though Audrey wasn’t going to explain that to him. He looked far too happy being compared to the king of the ocean!
”Yeah. Unless, of course, you’d want to be that,” Cassie pointed at a round fish with small spines and doe eyes. Audrey quickly shielded her mouth to muffle her laughter.
Ink was about to reply when a shark swam past the fish. Startled, the fish puffed up like a balloon.
Audrey couldn't help the laughter that escaped her this time. Ink growled in contempt. "Oh? Then I guess that's you," He pointed toward a sea turtle gliding by with a piece of lettuce in its jaws.
"Touche," Cassie admitted and crossed her arms.
"Guys! This way!"
Audrey whirled around. Bendy was making his way towards a sign reading "Dolphin's Cove!"
"Bendy!" Audrey shouted in exasperation. How did he get around so fast??
Bendy impatiently waited at the top of the stairs until they had all made it. "I take it you're ready to see some dolphins?" Audrey asked.
Bendy nodded enthusiastically and looked ready to shoot off like a rocket when Cassie piped up, "Actually... How would you feel about coming face to face with one? And I'm not talking about from behind the acrylic."
~
A trio of dolphins headed over to the edge of the pool at Cassie's beck and call. One popped its head up and blew a puff of water through its blowhole.
"They're bigger than I thought," Bendy marveled, crouched on the edge of the pool next to Audrey. The dolphins made a series of clicks and crowded together. They were laser focused on Bendy and Ink; inquisitive, yet cautious.
"Reach out your hand and they'll come to you," Cassie instructed, hauling over a bucket full of ice and frozen fish. That seemed to spur the dolphins forward with greater confidence.
Frankly, Bendy didn't need to be told twice on what to do. Audrey was certain he'd pet every creature in this aquarium if given the chance. One of the dolphins came to him and sniffed his gloves before setting its snout against his flattened palm. Audrey did the same to hers, gently rubbing its muzzle like a house cat. It gave a happy whistle and leaned in, followed by more clicks and vocalizations. Its skin was slick to the touch with powerful muscles hidden underneath.
The last dolphin was hovering in the water in front of Ink. To her amazement, the mammal smiled tooth and gums. Ink seemed taken aback as Cassie laughed, "Echo loves mimicking people. She's highly intelligent... And don't worry, she won't bite."
"I'm not scared," Ink grumbled and moved his palm towards the water. Echo tilted her head and moved closer. Rather than allowing him the opportunity to pet her, she gave his palm a firm, powerful headbutt. She sunk back into the water with just her head poking out, looking quite proud of herself.
"Echo, that's not what we've practiced," Cassie scolded and handed Bendy a fish. "Be good for our guests." The dolphin appeared to laugh in response.
Bendy tossed the fish up into the air and watched as his dolphin snapped it up into his jaws. He clapped. "Encore, Encore!"
A few minutes passed as the dolphins performed various maneuvers throughout their habitat. They were even allowed to see their daily training regime and take part in instructing the dolphins. Echo continued to be a bit of a nuisance, no thanks to Ink's encouragement. Cheeky little thing.
"Alright, boys. I think we should wrap things up. We don't want to keep the employees here long," Audrey said and rose to her feet. She glanced over at Cassie with an appreciative nod. "And thanks again for this, Cas."
"No problem. Maybe next time, we could swim with the sharks. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Ink?" She teased.
Ink finished patting Echo on the snout, seemingly distracted. "... What was that?"
I cannot overstate the power of writing for yourself, of writing with you as your primary audience, of leaning into the self-indulgent aspects of it all, and then having other people read and enjoy it.
Like not to get sappy on main (I’m gonna get sappy on main) but having even one other person be impacted in some way by words I wrote, a narrative I crafted, makes me feel like my entire education was worth it. (I uh. Cough. Have a degree in creative writing.) I think part of me was losing hope that I would ever use it in a way that really emotionally impacted me and felt worthwhile, and now that it’s happened, I feel lighter. I’m starting to get excited to work on the novels Kyler and Zane are from again for the first time in years.
So what I’m trying to say, really, is hey. Thank You.
yep, three years ago today i posted my first ever simblr post and i’ve been lurking around in my own little corner of this site ever since. anyone who vaguely pays attention to anything i say will know that i’m renowned for rambling and being super sappy so i’ll try to keep it short and sweet this time so that i don’t bore you.
i just wanted to quickly write something to thank you for sticking with me, no matter how long it’s been for, whether you’ve been here for all three years or the past three days. it’s so cool that you stumbled across my little blog and saw some potential in what i post. and you’re the reason why i’m still here screaming my content into the void, because for every time post something that i spend far too long obsessing over, there are a handful of likes and wonderful comments that make it all feel worthwhile. ultimately i post for myself, but knowing that other people are engaging with it and enjoying it as much as i am is really fulfilling.
so, if you’re reading this now, thank you for being a part of my journey with this blog. you’re wonderful and i appreciate you with every fibre of my being!
and so, to celebrate this three year milestone and the ending of my strangerville story (still can’t believe i managed to finish something on this blog. who am i? who gave this imposter my password?) i’m going to try to get a little intro/teaser thing together for my next project! i’ve still got a bit of planning to do before i start properly taking screenshots and stuff but i’ve got all the characters made, so that’s something lol. things are just a bit slow atm because of uni but that can’t be helped. anyway, i don’t know when the story will start properly but i’ll try to get this teaser post thing up either today or tomorrow. how exciting!
well, i aimed for short and sweet but i don’t know how successful that was. at least i’m sticking to my brand! thank you all again! it’s been a fun three years! <3
buckle up my little galaxy, it’s time for STARSHINE GETS SAPPY ABOUT NEW YEAR’S AND RAMBLES LIKE A LOON
so, i just wanna start by saying how much i love this community? like, as a whole? this was the first online fandom i became so invested in! i did write fic before this, primarily for vld (this was back when we had, like, 2 seasons and there was still hope). but i was never a PART of that community - the discourse was just too much and the fandom was too big for me to truly get invested, y’know?
this is the first real online community i’ve become a part of and BOY do i love it. you all made me feel SO LOVED and SO WELCOME and honestly sometimes you go through some shit in your life and you just need people to be sunshiney and oh my lord do you people have it in SPADES. every time i’ve needed a pick me up, you have all been so loving and wonderful and supportive and incredibly patient when fic takes forever (i’m working on that, i promise). so basically, thank you all. you’re all incredible.
there are, of course, a few people who deserve to be recognized by name and i’m sticking THAT nonsense below the cut, so if this is where you stop reading, please know that i love and appreciate every single one of you, and we are going to GET this BREAD in 2019 BITCHES. it’s the year of the bisexual, and i’m gonna make it my (bi)tch. <3
OKAY SAPPY TIME HERE WE GO
@accio-hufflepuff-power1 NICKY!!! you were one of the very first people to ask to be tagged in my writing! (i think you were the first one, actually). i think you’re amazing, and i know i’m shitty at answering messages but i love you so much you’re such a gr8 friend
@the-frosty-doctor WE BECAME MUTUALS BACK WHEN YOU WERE STILL GOING BY romaning-daydreams DO YOU REMEMBER? you were my very first sanders sides mutual and you were the very first person to hear about lovely dark and deep! that fic would never exist without you, and i’ll be grateful forever.
@ironwoman359 HEY TAAAAAAYLOOOOOR so you reblogged every single pattonella piece with commentary and honestly that commentary is one of the things that inspired me to keep writing it. i would sit there and refresh the notes and wait for you to see it and rb it and now we’re BUDS and it’s GREAT you’re such a gr8 writer i rlly look up to you i’m still amazed that you follow lil’ ol’ me you’re great i love you <3
@ethospathoslogan PETTY! BITCH! WIFE! i was so incredibly fucking nervous to talk to you bc i had read and fangirled over your fic for like, three weeks before i ever messaged you. (also i thought you were like 24, but that’s more down to my inability to read roman numerals than anything). but i was SO HAPPY that we started talking bc i think you’re AMAZING and you’re the loml babe i’m so happy to be your wife. i love your work and i love you and you were my first internet wife i stan you so hard.
@breloomings DANIEL!!! i was so nervous to talk to you bc your art is SO GOOD and it makes me SO HAPPY and i really hope you’re doing okay! i know we haven’t talked in a few months bc we’re both so busy but i really, truly hope that you’re doing okay and i hope we get to talk a lot more soon!
@backatthebein RILEY you were one of the very first people i befriended! you were a huge supporter of pattonella just like taylor was and you always encouraged me even when i didn’t have any confidence in myself. i have had plenty of anxiety crises with you in earshot, and you’ve always been there for me. i love you so much, riley, you’ve always been in my corner and i hope you know i’m always in yours. plus, you send me great posts all the time! they’re either analogical or bisexual memes or memes in general or positivity support and honestly you’re amazing i love you sm
@notveryglittery DAAAAANIIIII do you remember when you sent me an ask like OMG YOU FOLLOWED ME I’M SO HONORED and i realized that i hadn’t and i was like “THAT IS A CRIMINAL MISTAKE!” so i followed you on the SPOT. (tbh i thought i was following you already, i think tumblr unfollowed you for me bc tumblr.) you’re the royality stan to my analogical stand and i absolutely adore that we hardcore ship along an axis bc it makes writing fic SO MUCH FUN! usually if i have analogical i also have royality and vice versa with your writing and it’s just. mmm. yes. iconic. i love you so much, you’re so creative and inventive and supportive and you’re beautiful.
@shesavampirequeen AAAARIIIIIIEEEEELL! we first met bc you popped into my inbox to say “hey” once and you just kept coming back! i actively looked for you in my inbox bc seeing you always made my day, and i always looked forward to your comments! and then i learned you were ALSO an analogical stan and my heart was SOLD! you’re sweet and funny and so, so kind and i am SO happy that i reached out to get to know you better bc it was one of the best decisions of my life. you’re absolutely amazing in every way, ari, and i love you <3
@bumblebeekitten BEEEEEE BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE! i first met YOU because i asked for questions about ldad lore to take my mind off my computer being broken. you YEETed yourself into my askbox and you asked like twelve thousand questions and they were all about things i hadn’t even thought about before! and that was GREAT because while i was busy answering your questions, i completely forgot the panic attack i’d been having about my computer! and now we’re BFFS and we’re WIVES and we’re RP PARTNERS and i honestly love all of the above! you’re so creative and talented and beautiful and i love you so, so much. i’m so happy we’re friends now <3
@fangirltothefullest T A S H I! we first met because you reblogged one of my sneak previews of lovely dark and deep and said “i would love to do fanart of this!” and then i YEETED MY PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM and screamed for five minutes. i STILL can’t believe that we’re friends, you’re so amazing and sweet and awesome! i love our rp, i love that i took one look at your fusions and was like ALL OF THESE ARE MINE NOW ALLOW ME TO WRITE ALL YOUR FUCKING LORE and you were like THAT SOUNDS N E A T I’M TOTALLY DOWN TO LET YOU DO THAT! and now i co-mod the blog and just. halk;fas;dlkfj alskdf .asf ad. i am so INCREDIBLY LUCKY to have met you and i’m so grateful that you let me do this and i’m so happy that we’re bffs bc i love you so much, honey. you’re amazing <3
His hands hover, uncertain, like he’s afraid he isn’t allowed to touch you.
“It’s okay,” you tell him softly, taking his hands and bringing them to rest on your waist.
He hesitates a moment longer before diving in, long fingers and wide palms and cool lips on every inch of you, desperate and adoring, like he’s starving for you. You let out a startled laugh and just hold him as he clings to you, nuzzles you, murmurs praises against your warming skin.
Before long, you feel thoroughly worshipped, hair and clothes askew, and he leans back to look at you, eyes wide and full of wonder. He opens his mouth, but doesn’t say anything.
“What?” you prompt, reaching out to stroke his cheek. He leans into the touch, eye slipping shut for a moment.
“I,” he says, before pulling you close, holding you tight, breathing you in. “I just can’t believe how lucky I am.”
I’m about to get kinda emotional rn, fair warning.
So today, I woke up with a hankering to re-read one of my favorite fics of fandoms past (does anyone else have that, like, one story that they go back to even years after they’ve left a fandom? Cuz I have several across many fandoms)
And as I was reading it, I realized that it felt weirdly dated. The thing about fics that are 15, 20 years old, is that the presumption of general opinion has changed so much. Slash ships, which as I type it out I’m realizing is in itself fading in prevalence, were seen as inherently subversive when I was a baby queer discovering fanfiction over a dial up connection on the family desktop computer.
And that showed up as a theme in a lot of fic. The fic I went back to today (which is Speranza’s amazing With Six You Get Eggroll dS Fraser/RayK) has a moment of conflict rooted in two hetero characters struggling to wrap their heads around the mlm relationship between Fraser and RayK. The fic has all these moments of awkwardness, hesitance, and discomfort that are all rooted in the basic premise that finding out two of your friends aren’t as straight as you previously assumed is going to be awkward and rife with judgement.
Today, I don’t see nearly as much of that trope. Yes, coming out is still a strong theme, but it’s more focused on coming out to family or to yourself. I feel like there’s a lot less of an assumption that disapproval is the default reaction to finding out someone’s gay (or queer in general, but we’re still kinda getting over the “I don’t get it/that’s not a real thing” hump on all the stuff that isn’t as clear cut as “gay” and “straight”)
I was sixteen in February of 2004 when I took a school trip to San Francisco on the very same week that the city took matters into their own hands and made same-sex marriage legal for a month. We landed on Valentines Day, and driving past city hall remains to this day one of the most emotional moments of my life.
I was 28 in June of 2015 when the Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage to be a right nationwide. I was giddy when I found out, and couldn’t wait to talk to every single person I met about it.
Today, I watched the first season of Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher’s show Take My Wife. It’s been on my list for a while, and I finally just bit the bullet and paid for it instead of praying it would show up on Netflix or Hulu. And it’s making me so appreciative of how far we’ve come since I was a kid, when I barely knew what being gay was until I got dragged into my schools GSA freshmen year of high school (because queer kids flock together even before they know they’re queer).
Like, not only do we actually have representation, we also have the ability to demand more and better and nuanced representation. We have celebrities and show runners who fully stand behind their queer characters, we have networks that allow those characters to be on television. Brands are more likely to lose business for being AGAINST gay rights than for it. And yes we can be as cynical as we need to be about major corporations leveraging gay rights as a marketing tool, but HOLY SHIT, just having that conversation was freaking unimaginable less than 20 years ago. Like, gay rights having enough public support that fucking Nike and McDonalds use it as a cheap marketing ploy? We are mainstream as FUCK. And sometimes it’s hard to remember that it hasn’t been that way for very long. Some days it feels like we are being beaten by right wing conservatism, and that people championing greed and hate are winning over people fighting for inclusion and acceptance.
Don’t get me wrong, those motherfuckers are trying. And we still need to fight to make the world better. But if progress is a mountain we’re climbing, sometimes it’s good to take a break from looking uphill at how far we have to go, and look back and appreciate how far we’ve come.
((I am back on the habit tracker wagon which I am hoping will make me write a little every day - even if it's only 1-2 replies
I do love writing, I am just so tired lately.
I also think, given I often do big batches of 20-40 replies when I am in the mood, it feels like a failure to only do 1-2... But I suppose it's not! Small steps to healthy habits instead of obsessive bouts of focus will hopefully help settle my head in the long run :)
Casual (slightly sappy) reminder that I am incredibly grateful for how many amazing writers I have who patiently put up with me being so up and down in moods ♥
Hope you're all good! Feel free to DM me if you want to natter, I miss people 😭😭
