#sarahunfiltered

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

I’m Coming out of the Closet...

The Human Design closet that is...lol.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. :)

I keep fighting myself on writing about this, but I know it’s something I need to do despite my hesitation and fear. 

I’ve had thoughts like “who am I to share this system?” “do I even know what I’m talking about?” “I’m not knowledgeable or educated enough to share this info.” blah blah blah.

But here’s the thing... HD is something that lights me up, I understand it and have caught onto it really quickly. I talk about it every day with friends and family, I’ve shared snippets of what I am learning on my social media, but when it comes to actually sitting down and sharing what I know I FREEZE.

Part of me feels it’s because I feel I have to know EVERYTHING about it before I can speak up about it at all, but that just isn’t the case because there will never be a perfect time to talk about it. I also fear sharing my experience and knowledge and then being judged for it (this is the 3/5 in me, lol. more on this later.)

HD has been following me for over a year now and I kept kiiiind of looking into it and then would feel like I wasn’t smart enough to learn this extremely complex system, so I’d back off...aaaaaaaand it’d come right back. again and again aaaaaaand again.

About 2 months ago at this point I sat down and did an oracle reading around it asking what I needed to do, why I needed to do it, how I needed to do it and what the outcome of learning about this system in detail would bring me and the reading was too spot on to ignore it any longer, so I took a deep nose dive into learning about HD and the outcome thus far has been amazing.

I’ve done well over 50 charts in the last 2 months and I’ve helped give so much insight to my friends and family’s and how they are wired and how the best handle this or that and how they best make decisions and why there is confliction in this area and so on.  HD is basically a system that gives you a blueprint of who you are. It’s unique to you and no one else’s chart will identically match yours. The system is just over 30 years old and was “downloaded” during a mediation by Ra Uru Hu after his encounter with “The Voice”. This system combines Astrology, the Kabbalah, the IChing and the Chakra System.

It isn’t something you have to believe in for it to work, it’s not a religion or spiritual practice and it’s not a rule book you HAVE to live by. It’s a guide, which is why I feel it works for me so well and is something I’m comfortable learning about and sharing with others as I go. 

Side note: to get your chart info you need your name, full DOB, exact birth time and the location in which you were born. 

There are 5 types in HD. Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, Manifestor and Reflector. I’ll eventually go into more detail into each type and how they work and are wired, but today I am going to focus on my chart and touch on a few basic, insightful and helpful things. 

Type - Projector 

Projectors make up about 20% of the population. They are referred to as the Guides in HD. They are non-energy types, so instead of them bringing the energy to the room, they take on the energy of the room and amplify it. 

Projectors are very insightful and can see right through people, but here is the thing, just because a projector may see something doesn’t mean they just walk up the person and tell them how it is. No, they need to WAIT for the invitation to speak to someone. Now that doesn’t mean a projector needs to stay at home and sit on their ass and not doing anything and wait around for someone to come invite them to something. It means they should work on themselves and develop what they’re good at and make themselves inviting, so that way the people for them will come to them with the invitation and recognition they’re wanting.

In my own life I know I am constantly trying something new or talking about what I am into and me putting that out there and it naturally draws people to me to ask “hey, what all do you put in your smoothie? “what yoga videos do you follow?” “where do you buy the stuff to cleanse you space?” “can you do my HD chart for me?” “can you do and oracle reading for me?” etc. Those are all invitations for me to speak up vs if I were to go and DM all these people and ask them if I can do their HD chart for them, if they want to buy this from me, blah blah (all of which by nature I am not a fan of doing) and they end up resenting me invite and then I end up bitter af, lol.

The key for projectors when it comes to work is to work smarter, not harder. Since protectors are non-energy types they need to conserve and utilize their time and energy. What may take someone else ALL day to do, a projector can do in a matter of hours because of their efficiency.

Projectors are very sensitive and empathetic by nature and are the type to NEED alone time to cleanse they aura from everything they’ve picked up during the day and recharge. I know I am someone who has be really mindful of who and what I surround myself with because I’ll take it on and projector is back into the atmosphere around me. Unless something or someone is a hell yes for me, it’s a hell no and when I need alone time I NEED alone time.

Strategy - To Wait for Invitation 

A projectors strategy is to wait for the invitation. I kind of touched on this above about how that doesn’t mean you sit around and do nothing, but instead focus on yourself and work on the things you want to be invited to or recognized for. A projectors aura is kind of like a billboard. If you want someone to see something or know something about you, then you need to work on it and put it on your billboard and talk about it and share it. I know that when I try and make all the plans with a friend and bring it to them I am immediately met with resistance vs me texting my friend about how nice a hike sounds and if they just so happen to ask if I’d like to go that weekend then that gives me a chance to accept or decline the invitation. 

Not-Self Theme - Bitterness

This coincides with what I said above as well. When a projector goes out there and tries to make all the things happen, and make the plans, and do do do and force everything they’re met with resistance and then end as a bitter bitch. I’ve learned this the hard way, lol. AGAIN, be inviting, but don’t do the inviting. Let people come to you. 

Definition - Triple-Split

A simple way this part of HD was explained to me was this kind of tells ya how you are in relationships. There are 4 types of definition. Single, Split, Triple-Split and Quadruple-Split. Since I am keeping today about my chart I’ll touch on what a being a Triple-Split is. Someone with this definition is someone who’s very independent and is also someone who naturally likes to be talking to 10 people at the same time (LOL ME), so with that being said people with this definition can have difficulties when it comes to monogamous relationships because one person doesn’t fill everything they need; which is amusing to me because I’ve always been one to talk to MULTIPLE people in a day, I am very independent and I like it that way, so when I have a friend I am talking to and they begin a new relationship with someone and stop talking to me as much I don’t understand it because I can have 10 convo’s going at one time and ALL they can do is talk to their boo, lol. But this just goes to show EVERYONE is different and that is OOOKAY. Both my husband and I are Triple-Split’s and part of me feels we work as well as we do because we’re both this way. 

Authority - Solar Plexus - Emotional 

When I found out I had an emotional authority, it made me emotional about being emotional which in turn made me emotional... lol. 

Anywayssss.

When it comes to authority it’s how you best make decisions. Being an emotional decision makers basically means you lives your life on an emotional wave, so when it comes to making decisions you want to make sure you’ve ridden the wave all the way out before making a decision. You want to be cool, calm and collected and clear vs really high on your way or really low because let’s say you make a decision when you’re REALLY excited, really sad, really mofo angry, you’re going to wake up the next morning and possibly feel COMPLETELY different and may not feel the same at all, so now you’re stuck in the decision you made and you may not be a fan of it anymore. Bottom line; wait it out at LEAST a day before making a decision.

Profile - Martyr - Heretic (3/5)

Someone who is a 3/5 is someone who lives by experience and after living the experience they’ll come back and want to tell everyone about it. The pros and cons, how they’d so something differently, etc, but on the flip side they are someone who is fearful of what they are sharing out of judgement of others, so they may end up not sharing out of fear, but they still have this passion to share. This has really shown up in my life and what I ended up doing for a long time was sharing what I thought people would find acceptable vs what I was really into. This has drastically changed as of this year. I’m still fearful, but I do it anyways.

I’ll go ahead and end today’s blog there to keep it more short and sweet and down the line I’ll continue to share what I am learning. 

Until next time...

Sarah, xo 

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

25 Things I’ve Learned in my 25 Years

Your childhood doesn’t define you.

It’s OK to not be OK.

There is a time, place, reason and season for everything and everyone in your life.

Social status isn’t everything.

You’re not in a race with anyone, so stay in your own lane and go at your own pace.

Learning to trust your intuition will become your greatest asset.

You don’t have to be religious to connect with the Universe and be spiritual.

Setting boundaries and communicating will keep your relationships healthy and strong.

Self-care isn’t selfish.

You are enough.

Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person.

Don’t stuff everything; give your emotions space. They’re there for a reason.

Excessive amounts of sugar, carbs, gluten and dairy aren’t your bff.

No one person can be your everything.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so take the time to keep yours full.

Learn to surrender and trust the Universe. It ALWAYS has your back, even when you don’t see it.

Everything in moderation.

Budgeting and savings are vital.

Become a witness to life and the cards you’ve been dealt instead of a victim.

Spent time outside in nature and take the time to detox often. (social media, food, friends, family, alcohol, etc)

DRINK WATER.

Healing childhood wounds and reparenting yourself are crucial.

Figure out your numerology, astrology and human design info. It’ll help more than you realize.

Cleanse your space often.

Check in on your friends/family frequently.

**Bonus** Speaking up and asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

Sarah, xo 

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

May Reflections/June Intentions

Hiyaaaa. :) 

It’s been a minute since I’ve been able to blog!

The last 2.5 weeks have been hectic af and I’ve been carpooling with Michael to work every day the last 2.5 weeks and have to come into work when he does which is 7am, so I lose an hour of my me time in the mornings. So yoga, blogging, meditating, all the things haven’t been going how I prefer them to, but it’s life and sometimes shit happens and you just have to adjust and keep going, so that’s what I’ve been doing.

I’m in the works of upgrading my car in a way I wasn’t exactly planning to, but back in March I had a vision of a lotus tat on my arm (which I have) and I was in a new car and since then I have been holding onto that vision and speaking life to it and I’m not sure why I kept thinking/saying/believing it’d be my my birthday, but I did and as I saw my birthday getting closer and close I started to back out even though I felt like it was time I was still fighting it. Well, rewind to 2.5 weeks ago my car basically went kaput and the cost to fix it is half of what I owe on the car and not worth it to me to fix with me not wanting to keep the car much longer. SO Michael and I have been researching, calling family, test driving, making calls and applying for a loan to get the ball rolling. 

Anywayssss. Moving on. 

May felt like a month long, sporadic vacation filled with seeing all of my favorite people and I LOVED it. The go go go of 6 straight weekends of non-stop planning really started to wear on me at the end and then everything happened with my car and I’ve felt a bit scattered and anxious the last few days, but like I said above it’s part of life sometimes and I’m taking things as they come to the best of my ability and I have an amazing support system behind me when I feel myself spiraling or stressed out.

Below I’ll list my intentions for May, but all in all May was a very fulfilling and fun month which was my main intention.

No social media - I made it 3 weeks without social media! Best/worst 3 weeks of my life.

Read more books - done - I started around 4-5 books and am reading them when I’m able make the time. :)

Learn and practice reiki - done - any time I meditate I practice reiki

Map out savings game plan and see how much can be put towards debt - done - I hit around the same goal as I did last month!! I’m so close to going from 5 digits to 4!! 

Keep carb and sugar intake low - DONE. I seem to thrive best on low carb/sugar. I’ve found I get REALLY anxious and jittery when I have too many carbs/sugar 

Blog more - done! I believe in May I posted 4 different blogs!!

Try Branch Basics - I wasn’t able to get around to ordering this, but it’s still on my list of things to try out. :)

Try CBD oil - DONE. Love it, and use it every.single.day. I use CBD oil, honey, mascara, serum, lotion, all the things!

Find a vegan mascara that works - Found one and LOVE it.

Work on handstand - worked on it and am still working on it. I’m getting stronger and stronger each and every day.

Start car search - started!! and in the processing of negotiating and such as of the last few days. 

HAVE FUN <3 - DOONNNEEEE. I had so so so so so much FUN in May. 

June so far has been a liiiiitle hectic not going to lie, but life doesn’t always go as we plan and that’s ok. I’m learning to be ok with not being ok and taking every day as it comes. My main intention for June is to RELAX, so I’m hoping that when the dust settles with me upgrading my car I can better focus on a month of rest and relaxation and getting back into the swing of my normal routine. I will say though this whole not having a car at the moment thing has kept me home, so maybe it was all part of the Universe’s plan. Who knows. ;)

That is all I have for now. I have a few other blog idea to bring to life, but my main focus of getting my new car right now, so it’ll have to wait, but I wanted to get this blog out since I’ve had my intention written down since the beginning of my month.

Until next time. <3

Sarah, xo

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

April Reflections/May Intentions

Happy May!!

April was quite the roller coaster. A lot of ups, and downs and twists and turns. 

A couple of highlights were me reconnecting with an old friend and rekindling our friendship, I was ghosted out of NOWHERE by someone I thought was my friend, I made it through my more keto friendly month alive (blog post to follow on how it went), my life’s purpose or at least part of it was revealed to me in the most beautiful and crazy way (blog on this to follow) and the last day of April I was tested to see if I’d follow my intuition and that still small voice within that I’ve been questioning and I didn’t and welllllllllllllllllllllllll... someone hit my car (blog post to follow on this as well). I 100% learned my lesson on that one. My car is fine, I’m fine, just a fender bender that the ladies insurance will cover at all costs to fix it and they’re providing me with a rental until it’s fixed. 

Moving on...

This morning I finished up my May Intention list and sat down and pulled a few oracle cards. I asked for one to be on how I need to go about May and what I need to focus on and the other on what message I need right now for today to do my best. I’ll go into further detail on those below. :)

Now to go through my April Intentions and reflect.

Purchase Morgan Tyler’s e-book and practice it for the month - DONE. Funny story on this. She is actually coming to Texas this coming weekend and I get to meet her and take a yoga class with her and go to luncheon after. YAY. So. Effin’ Excited. I had no idea she’d be coming to Texas when I bought her book, but I FREAKED out when I saw her make the post on it and I immediately bought my VIP ticket to go. 

Start keto with Michael - done. The first week and a half were absolutely horrid and I legit felt like I was dying, but it got better. (like I said above I’ll be writing on this in a future blog post)

Try out bone broth - done. LOVE it. 

Pay $500 towards debt - DONNNEE!!! I was so happy I was able to make this happen!! I basically saved almost double what I usually do. 

Go for evening walks after work and hike often - evening walks didn’t happen, but hiking did along with lots of walks on my breaks at work. I actually have a weird tan line on my feet from my shoes from all the walking I’ve done at work.

Eat less pasta, rice, sugar and dairy - I didn’t have pasta all month, I had rice a few times, but only on the weekends if we’d go to Chipotle. I didn’t eat anything with processed sugar and when I’d eat something sweet it was keto friendly and made with monkfruit and dairy is a part of keto and I do pretty ok with cheese from what I can tell. The thing that gets me the most is wheat and SUGAR. I’ve really been slowly cutting back on sugar this whole year and that is what got me at the beginning of the month the most.

Try out phat bombs - done. We’ve tried out so many different kinds and my fave are definitely the chocolate chip cookie dough and cheesecake. 

Be quick to surrender - done. I’ve started to realized I’m not near as resistant as I know I can and the more I’ve surrender the more the Universe has revealed to me.

If it’s not a eff YES, it’s an eff no - this is something I’ve really had to work at since in the past I’ve been a over the top “yes” person and the person who paid for it ended up being me and I’m just not ok with living that way anymore. Saying no isn’t a bad or mean thing and it’s still something I’m learning on the daily and it’s getting easier the more I practice it. 

Plan and book camping trip w/ Michael <3 - the plans are still in the works because the days we did try and book weren’t working out smoothly, so I backed off on it and will revisit it a little later. I don’t ever want to force something to happen and I saw it starting to happen with this, so I surrendered and asked for it to come back to me when it was time.

Purchase teeth whitening kit - doonnnneee and I loooooove the results!!

Less screens, more books - this did and didn’t happen. That is why you’ll see for May I’m not on social media BECAUSE I have books I’m reading and want to make the time for them.

Treat myself to a pedi - done!! and it was gloriousssss and I found my new favorite spa and it just so happens to be not even a mile away from where I live. 

April overall was good to me and I’m grateful for the many ups and downs and I’m even more proud of myself to surrendering when I need to and also standing up for myself when I know I need to. Finding balance with communication, surrendering, boundaries, speaking my truth and saying “no” when I know in my gut I need to isn’t always the easiest, but just like with anything I have to work that muscle to make it stronger and stronger cause let’s be real.. I don’t want to be this doormat of a person who never speaks up and doesn’t set boundaries and let’s people walk all over her and in turn try and control EVERYTHING around me because I’m so overwhelmed and miserable. It just isn’t quite my cup of tea anymore.

I have a few things I’m really focusing in on this month. 1.) learning and practicing reiki, 2.) reading more books and 3.) HAVE FUN. Every single weekend starting this coming weekend is full of fun and exciting events that I’ve really been looking forward to!! I’m taking a social media break all of May, so I can better focus my attention on the things I’m learning and just to honestly detox just a bit from it. The first few days really sucked, but I’m getting into the habit of taking a book I’m reading with me to work and having one on my phone and I’ll read on my breaks or in the evenings or during my morning quiet time. I’m currently reading “How to Be Well” by Frank Lipman, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson, “Musings of an Earth Angel” by Suzanne Adams and I purchased a Reiki course I’m reading and practicing through as well. 

So I said a prayer and asked for a message about what I need to focus on for the month of May and I pulled “Soul Family” and for me the message was telling me that I need to be open to unexpected people that will be coming into my life this month and embrace them with love. I’ll be in Austin this weekend, Waco another and Florida as well all throughout this month and I’ll come in contact with so many people, so who knows. I may be making a new soul family friend come the end of May and I’m open and ready for it because I love new people and I love friends.

Then I went to ask for a message for today and I heard very clearly “pick up your Rumi deck” and something with me using oracle cards I feel a surge of electricity when using these and the ones that is basically shocking my hand is the one I need to be using and after pulling the “Soul Family” card I didn’t feel that energy anymore in the deck I picked up, so I listened an grabbed my Rumi deck and pulled the most perfect card for me. Part of it said “You are the lion and the deer. You are bold, fierce and vibrant, and you are silent, sweet and gentle.” This spoke to me because there are times where I feel too nice, too sweet, too harsh, too blunt, too vulnerable and then I feel the need to play it small and be quiet, but here’s the thing. I am bold and fierce, but I’m also sweet and gentle and I’m learning when I need to be one or the other and honor how diverse I am and to find a balance and acceptance with all of it. I can’t and don’t want to be one thing all the time. I do, however, want to be a light for everyone around me and sometimes that’ll require a more bold Sarah who speaks up and sometimes a more gentle Sarah who is a listening ear and holds space.

That’s all I have for now and be sure to be on the lookout for my life purpose discovery, keto friendly month, skin care routine and the realization I had from my fender bender the other day blogs that are coming real soon. :D 

Until next time...

Sarah xo

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

Yoga, Forgiveness & Explosions

I’ve really been working to start my 2018 intentions while I’m on vacation that way in the new year I won’t be starting a million things at once, so I gave my morning routine ago and it was magical, emotional and just amazing. For Christmas Michael and I were gifted a beautiful homemade tray with an S on it for our last name. I decided to put it to use and set up my crystals, sage, coffee oils, etc. It worked perfectly. I am not a fan of setting things on the carpet cause knowing me I’d knock it over, lmao.

I lit my sage, set up my crystals, turned on the diffuser with some peppermint and frankincense in it, I set an intention and rubbed palo santo eo across my forehead and surrender eo over my heart and on my wrists because the main reason for my practice was to surrender and let go of old hurt and potentially up to almost 25 years of anger and bitterness.

I’ve recently learned about cleansing your crystals and setting intention for each one, so after my free flow yoga routine (really focused on my hips. hurt so good) I did some research on the crystals I have and wrote a note for my intention for each on and set the piece of paper under each one. Before doing so I saged them to cleanse them from anything previously. woowoo, i know i know, but I love it, so let me. ;) I also used my mini composition notebook to write down 3 things I'm grateful for because I hear time and time again how starting your day with gratitude is one of the best ways to start it. 

I could go on and on about how much respect and appreciation I have for Elizabeth Dialto. Pushing maybe 2 years ago when I started listening to podcasts I came across this beautiful soul and listening to her podcast Untame The Wild Soul at first made me SO beyond uncomfortable because the range of what her and her guests would talk about when it came to chakras, buddha, crystals, energies and other religions/spirituality conflicted with everything in me. I think it’s more so because of just the way I was raised and that being everything to do with God, Jesus, The Bible and Holy Spirit, so hearing about all of this made me feel like it wasn’t ok, but what Elizabeth helped me realize is that it is ok to learn and grow and figure out what works for you and that it’s even more ok that it doesn’t match your upbringing. 

Awhile back I printed off this poem and set it as my desk, but haven’t taken the time to read it and take it in. It’s absolutely beautiful and reads: “The Wild Soul Woman Manifesto

An invitation to live into, a practice, a dedication, a pledge. I am a woman, not a lovelier version of a man.

I am devoted to loving myself in the untamed way - through cultivating self-acceptance, awareness, knowledge, respect, and trust. I am committed to discovering and living into my ever evolving truth. The truth of what it means to be a woman in the 21st century. The truth of what it means to be me, the me that I AM, not that society, culture, family, government, religion or other structures have dictated to me. I am discerning. 

I listen to my wild soul and trust her innate wisdom and guidance. 

I have boundaries. I do not sacrifice myself for the benefit of others. I say no when I mean no and yes when I mean yes. I am just as worthy of my own time, energy, and attention as all of my loved ones. I do not need others to be different or agree with me for me to feel OK. I do my best to respect others’ beliefs, opinions, cultures, choices, self-expression, sexuality, even if I don’t understand. I am global sister. 

I am work in progress and a work of art.

I am safe place to land for all life and all people. I know that it’s not all about me, but that does start with me and I happily accept responsibility for my own life. My body is sacred. I am willing to have courageous conversations. I embrace my uniqueness, my power, my beauty, my creativity, my inner fire, my passion, my fierceness and my softness. 

I reserve the right to change my mind. 

When I want to be harsh with myself I choose gentleness instead. I honor the earth and all her creations. I am unashamed. I trust that my temporary circumstances never have to be my permanent reality. I am a powerful creator. I am receptive. I am a force for expansion, for love, and for good. 

I am a Wild Soul Woman.“

WOW. How powerful. This is something I want to print off poster size and hang up somewhere that I can read every day. 

During the summer Elizabeth launched some oracle cards and since I support and respect her 100% I ordered some, but haven’t used them up until now. I read through the little guide and shuffled the desk and pulled the top one. 2 reasons I loved it. 1.) 8 is my favorite number, and 2.) the card was about self care which I was in desperate need of that morning in particular. One things she points out on these cards is they’re not for predicting the future like a tarot card, it’s for what you need in the present moment, so me pulling this card was just spot on. 

After I read the Wild Soul Woman poem and read the mantra for the card I pulled I lit a candle and started writing a very important and overdue “FU letter” to a family member of mine. It was so hard to bring myself to the point of anger and hatred to write this, but I knew it was time. I filled up 5 pages with hurt and anger and bitterness and resentment I’ve held in. I had to get up 2 different times to blow my nose from crying so hard and my nose running. It was great, lmao.

I learned about this writing practice through another podcast called Over It & On With It by Christine Hassler. Another beautiful soul I discovered a few years ago. At the end of the letter I wrote out another writing practice she taught me. 

“Dear_____

I am letting go______

I learned_______

I forgive you for _______

I forgive myself for______

Thank you for______

Goodbye.”  

Then I ripped it all up, said a forgiveness prayer and blew out the candle.

Craziest shit happened when I took it outside to burn the paper. Right as everything had turned to ash the bowl EXPLODED into a million pieces. LIKE WTF. O___O Could have been cause it was chilly outside, could have been some cray spiritual ish, who knows. I squealed and ran inside to grab the broom to clean it up then ran everything down to the dumpster.

A year ago I wrote the same kind of letter to a different family member and I’ve had so much change since then with forgiving and letting go and I can definitely say I felt a release from this letter in particular. Growing up I was just told to pray or go to the altar and give it all to God, but it just for me didn’t work because the hurt and anger and sadness was still there. I think with me taken it upon myself to write out, burn everything and pray in my own way was what I needed to discover as adult because it just works and it feels amazing to put in the work and feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. I really believe me closing this door with this family member in particular will open new doors for me and close old ones that don’t serve me when it comes to a number of things like manipulation, disowning, close-mindedness, blaming, stuffing, not communicating, etc. When you’re raised a certain way it conditions you to believe certain things or a way of being and I am working to un-condition myself from old ways, thought patterns and belief systems that don’t serve me and the Sarah I am today.   

Once I got back inside I saged my space one more time to clear everything and did a cord cutting and grounding practice Elizabeth taught me, then went about my day. 

I am really thankful that I’ve discovered these practices because I just haven’t ever felt like I’ve been able to cultivate my own spiritual practice and way of being up until recently. I’ve had to do a lot of work to get to this place and work that much harder to sit here right now and talk about freely, but it feels so right and so so so good. 

- Sarah xo

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

I’ve been tested...

Hi. :)

I’ve been meaning to sit down and write this one for a little while now, but just haven’t been able to quite make the time for it, but here I am now starting it at 5 a.m. with my mushroom coffee in hand, peppermint oil rubbed on my ears and my oracle cards I pulled next to me. ‘

The title of this being “I’ve been tested...” is for that very thing. This month in almost all ways I’ve been tested. Friends, communication, work, family, spirituality, finances, all the things. 

I pulled an oracle card this morning and asked what the message needed to be for today and the card I pulled was “Passionate Self-Love Affair” and reading about this card it’s about how self love is more than just red lipsticks, memes and bubble baths which I’ve learned to be so true because what happens when you’ve had the worst day ever or something at work happens or a friend and you need to have an uncomfortable convo? Are you still going to show up in a loving way not only to the situation, but yourself? This is something I struggle with immensely, unfortunately. And it’s the biggest thing I’ve taken on for 2018. Self-love. Not self-loathing, not self-criticisms. Self...Love. 

How have I been tested you may be wondering? Well, lemme tell you, booboo.

1.) Money - I’ve been working towards a solid “get out of debt” game plan and while I was happily going to check my one account I noticed an old interest charge I wasn’t planning on popped up and I flipped out, called the bank and they were no help and I just had to eat it. Now why this bothered me was because it took away from what I was saving for the heaping mountain of debt I had been saving for ALL month and it was taken away. I felt defeated, then started to go down the “why did I let this happen in the first place” rabbit hole, but I didn’t. I stopped myself, bit the bullet and paid it, then walked away telling myself it was OK that 1.) I was upset, but 2.) it’ll all work out in the end and I’m going to be OK. 

2.) Communication - Something I say every time I read my Wild Soul Woman pledge is “I am willing to have courageous conversations” and I’ve had to live up to this quite a few times this month especially with friends/family. It’s BEYOND uncomfortable for me to speak up and not be doormat and not let people walk all over me, and just go with the flow and put my feelings aside and stuff and suppress, but then I will end up pushing someone away and resenting them and I am just not about that life anymore. These types of convo’s no matter how large or small make me anxious. I sweat, I hear my heartbeat in my ears, I can’t think straight, I shake, but I can say it is getting easier to stand in my truth and speak up and I’ve taught myself how to calm down when this happens within a matter of minutes, instead of it lasting the rest of the day and me having to go to straight to bed when I get home because I am exhausted in all ways.

3.) Work - Oh, work.. So I was in hot water all of 2017 with work. I’ve never had such a hard year when it comes to work ever. I’ve had bad months, weeks and days, but never an entire year filled with stress and heartache. I went from the last 6 months of getting maybe 1 error and we’re allotted up to 5 in a month and as of right now I am at 5 until the month starts over. Now if I don’t get anymore I’ll be fine and won’t be written up, but as of now I still have 3 more work days to get through and old Sarah would be on the floor right now crying into a glass of wine (Funny not so funny story. Today a year ago I was doing just that according to a picture that popped up on my timehop. I’ve also noticed that in over a week there hasn’t been a picture that popped up that didn’t have a glass of wine in it...>____< ), but this new fairy haircut, zenned out more often than not Sarah realizes this is just a test to see if I’ve really grown. Yes, it’s frustrating and I allowed that feeling to come up, so it could have its space and pass, but I also know this is part of life, this is a test I needed to pass, and to more important not bash myself in the process like I’ve done before. Like thinking I’m worthless, a piece of shit, don’t know what I am doing, and all the horrible things I used to tell myself. I keep telling myself “All is well with my soul. This is a test and I will pass it. I will not give my power away to this situation. I am going to be OK nonetheless.” because in reality taking a step back no one is out to get me, I am not going to die, this is part of life and I’ll be OK. 

4.) My Daily Practice - This is a big one for me. By nature in all the astrological and numerology ways I hold myself to REALLY high and I mean HIGH standards. I am SO bad about getting onto myself if I slip up... and you probably guessed it. I’ve “slipped up”. To me I feel like if I miss one day of mediation and lose my streak everything will fall apart, if I don’t journal then I failed, if I don’t blog at least once a week then I’m not being true to my intentions I’ve set, the list goes on... but is this really true if I take a (for me) HUGE step back? No. I’m very compulsive, obsessive and easily addicted by nature. If I love something and I’m into it I’m all in. Ask anyone that knows me well and they tell you the same. Now on the outside it probably seems like I’ve got all my ducks in a row and I am so disciplined and just having it going on, but this is why I started a blog. To take that filter off and talk about what’s really going on because I do struggle and slip and fall, but I’m learning to love myself in the process as I just pick up and keep going instead of constantly shaming and blaming myself when I do miss a day of mediation or my morning doesn’t go how I feel it should and so on. 

5.) Spirituality - I grew up in a spiritual home, but when I moved out and I completely shut it off and down and asked it to leave me alone and it did, but I’ve stepped back into and it’s come back in full force. Even me writing this right now makes me feel a little anxious because it’s such a touchy subject for me because it’s just really vulnerable and personal to me and I won’t say too too much, but what I will say is I’ve had some thing happens where I could question it, blow it off, not believe it and call myself crazy and think I am just making shit up, but that would honestly defeat the entire purpose of my spiritual practice. I am learning how to turn my ego down a lot and let things be, so they can grow and I’ve had some really cool things happen. One of those being how I had this inner knowing that I would write poetry and I asked the universe to show me how and within a week I pulled an oracle card that said listening to music would be beneficial for the day and to really listen to the words and instead of blowing it off and listening to podcast I listened to music and there was one song that ripped me wide open and I ended up writing 4 poems that day. The universe know what it’s doing and I am learning to listen and follow the still, small voice when it does speak to me and not question it. 

6.) Body Shaming - Oh, girl... I will be brief on this one as well because I do plan to write an entire blog on this topic because it’s been big for me this month. But practice yoga I see more of my body than ever because being completely clothed ends up annoying because my shirts is in my face and I can’t breathe or see and then I get hot and at that point I am not breathing and then I fall and you get the picture...lmao. So I wear less clothes and see more of me and it’s SO uncomfortable seeing the cellulite on my legs, the roll on my stomach and how bad I need to shave my legs and it’s been a daily self-love practice of not body shaming how my body naturally looks, and to work through this I’ve posted some, to the mindlessly scrolling IG eye, unflattering pictures of myself because for the last 5 years I’ve painted a picture of what my life and body looks like and it’s just not true, so I am working to paint a new, unfiltered, raw, real life picture of what my life actually looks like. 

Until next time... <3

Sarah xo

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

I’m taking a break...

Hiiiiiii. :)

I’m currently in a season of “hibernation” and feel the need to honor and respect it, so I am going to take a break from all blogging for the time being and I won’t be as active on social media much during this time either.

I feel like a caterpillar that’s gone into her little cocoon, so blogging and sharing my life and all the things isn’t something I want to do right now.

I will be back and I’m more so writing this blog post for me personally, so it takes the mental and emotional pressure of feeling like I HAVE to blog off my shoulders because I blog for myself and if I were to keep up with my blog right now it wouldn’t be for me.

Ta-ta for now... <3

Sarah, xo

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

The 5 Human Design Types - Which one are you? ;)

Hiiiii! :D

I’ve been wanting to sit down and talk about this all month, but haven’t been able to make the time for it. I’ve had family in town most of this month, my sister moved in within the last month, I’ve had events and meet-ups and everything in between, so quiet me time hasn’t exactly been a thing in my world for the month of September, but I know it’d be with this way and I’m rolling with it. I’m actually currently typing this on my work computer in a word document to email to myself to post later, lol.

I made an intention to write at least one blog post on Human Design and I really wanted to stick to that intention, SO HERE WE GO.

I want to keep it short, but still in enough detail to fully understand and digest the info.

Today I am going to touch on the 5 different energy types in HD. Your energy type is basically your aura.

You know how sometimes someone will just walk into a room and they bring sunshine, or someone will walk into a room and they seem more reserved or others walk in and they just can hold the attention and energy of the entire room, while others can’t as easily do so? There’s a reason for it, and that reason being their aura.

The 5 energy types are Generators, Manifesting-Generators, Projectors, Manifestors and Reflectors.

Side note: I AM SO NERVOUS TO WRITE ABOUT THIS. I know that I know what I am talking about it and talk about it all day long, but to put it into words and share it like this scares the SHIT out of me, BUT ima do it anyways.

Moving on..

**deep breath**

Generator (roughly 35% of the population) -

Sooooooo I try not to pick favorites. However, I LOVE Generators. They’re some of my favorite people to be around and talk to, and what’s funny is Projectors are here to help guide the energy of Generators, so it was not surprising after doing all my close friend’s charts and finding out all of them are a form of a Generator, LOL.

Generators have an aura that can take on a room and work the crowd. They’re people person’s and do really well in group settings because of it. Generators are here to do what lights them up in the world and ONLY what lights them up. When they’re living in alignment with their design and doing what lights them up it actually gives them more energy to keep doing it. They’re literally here to do the damn thing.

Generators are also people who need a plan and structure and want to stick to the plan down to every last detail. They’re an A to Z kind of person and will do the work and put in the time to find the perfect place and restaurant and hotel and have all the times mapped out and every booked well in advanced. So when you need something planned or someone who will do the research to find the best of the best, ask your fellow Generator and they’ll make it happen.

A common thing I hear amongst the Generators I know is them telling me what they “should” be doing, but here’s the thing… Generators aren’t here to live a “should” life. No one is, but DEFINITELY not a Generator. When a Generator is living a “should” life, they’re not living their best life. The more “should’s” you can take out and replace is with what lights you up the happier and more fulfilled life you’ll live. Bottom line, if it doesn’t light you up, booboo, DON’T DO IT.

One more thing I’ve observed in my Generators friends/family is 1.) how much of a night owl they are and 2.) they easily they AREN’T able to fall asleep at night, and from what I’ve studied about this is until a Generators defined sacral energy center (this is the part that makes a Generator and Generator) is completely used up and rung out for that day they won’t fall and stay asleep. So let’s say you’re a mom with a child who isn’t a Generator. It’s not them who isn’t going to bed and sleeping at night, it’s you being in their aura and keeping them up. If they were put in their own bed away from your energy they’d fall fast asleep and stay asleep. Same goes for if your partner or spouse. If you’re let’s say a Projector (Projectors don’t have defined sacrals) and your boo is a Generator and you can’t sleep at night, try going to bed an hour before they do, so you can fall asleep easier because if you don’t you’ll be feeding off their energy being next to them at night and won’t sleep well.

Manifesting-Generator (roughly 35% of the population) –

Man-Gen’s! So Man-Gen’s are still a type of Generator, so a lot of what I just touched on above ^ applies to a Man-Gen as well. A few differences when it comes to a Man-Gen is they’re REALLY fast people. Super quick, always moving around and on the go. They take short cuts if they can and they want things NOW, like if they could have had them yesterday that’s still not soon enough, lol.

They pick up on things really quickly and can often feel like everyone around them is SO slooowwwww and taking forever because they’ve already figure something out. One minute they can be ALL about something and literally the next they’ve never been more over something in their life. But here’s the thing with Man-Gen’s; they are here to move quickly, and dip their toe into 10 pools at one time, and try and this and that and that thing over there all at the same time.

They’re supposed to live a very flavor, variety filled life, but they’re are often conditioned to feel like life is a linear path and they have to do everything in structured way and time and it has to look this way or that, but for a Man-Gen it’s not even close to being true. They’re supposed to follow the heat and when they heat dies, they need to move onto the next thing.

I know a few Man-Gen’s who are podcasters, bloggers, have a part time job over, 3 hobbies and do them all at the same time and they THRIVE at it. The main thing I really want to emphasize here with Man-Gen’s is the standard American dream and structure and a linear life path are NOT for you (not really for anyone tbh). You do you and follow the heat and have your 12 things you do and ROCK IT. It’s was you’re here to do.  

Projector (less than 20% of the population) –

Projectors are referred to as guides in Human Design. They’re essentially a bird in a tree observing the world beneath them waiting for someone to ask them what they see and how they see it and offer different perspective. They’re very observant, can see all sides of a situation, they’re analytical and are able to figure out systems and software’s easily. They’re more prone to finding the bad in the good, vs the good in the bad, but just like we need people who can find the good, we need people who can find the flaws, and that’s a Projector for you.

Projectors are non-energy types, so they don’t bring the energy in the room they walk into, they take it on and in and project it back into the room. So Projectors just need to be mindful of where they choose to go and who they’re around, because they become a mirror along with a dust mop to energy and a sponge to whatever is going on around them. They’re very sensitive people and empathic people too and need a lot of alone time and space to shed the energy they’ve picked up during the day.

Projectors are 1:1 people. They have a very penetrating aura in the sense that instead of taking on the room like other types, they lock onto one person instead. I’ve always ALWAYS said I am not a group person because I can’t focus on that many people at one time, and I ideally do better in 1:1 setting, so when I learned this it all seemed to make sense, LOL. It doesn’t mean I can’t do crowds, it’s just not my first choice and I avoid it when I can. Projectors can mingle, but they’re minglers; meaning they need someone to come up to them and start the conversation first and they’ll piggyback off of it.

Since Projectors are so observant and pick up on things they can come off as “know-it-all’s”, so the key for a Projector is to wait for an invitation before taking action or speaking because if they don’t and try and take initiate or speak what’s on their mind, they’re likely to be met with a lot of resistance and in turn become bitter over it.

Now that doesn’t mean a Projector needs to sit at home and not do anything. The key is to work on yourself and strengthen what you’re good at and find your niche and make yourself inviting and either put it out there via a blog, youtube, social media etc, talk about it, casually make a statement about it, that way the right people will it or read/hear what you have to say and will naturally want to ask you about, and THEN you can step in and share what you have to say. Be inviting, but don’t do the inviting. Another helpful tip for a Projector is to ask questions because often that can lead to someone wanting to ask more and an invitation could result in it.

Projectors aren’t here to live this fast paced, go go go life, but they’re undefined sacral can make them feel that way or surrounding themselves with Generators/Man-Gen’s can really amp that up. They’re ultimately here to be a guide and be seen and recognized for what they’re good at and take naps often, lol. If you need a different perspective, someone who is able to give you 1:1 undivided attention, dissect a situation or offer better insight go ask a Projector.  

Manifestor (less than 10% of the population) –

Ohhhhh, Manifestors. When I think Manifestor I think my sister, Claire. She brings SO much sunshine into a room which is what Manifestors are naturally able to do. Manifestor = Sunshine.

Manifestors are here to initiate and they have a repelling aura. Now I know it doesn’t make sense for such sunshine to have a repelling aura, but Manifestors are here to initiate, so have an open aura wouldn’t serve the, since they’re so independant and here to make things happen. They were the people a long time ago who started wars and things of that nature. They’re all about getting everyone on their train, so in turn they can come off as people pleasers because they want everyone to like them and be on their train, but not everyone is for their train and that’s OK. When a Manifestor has someone, who doesn’t like them it’s really a blessing because that just lets them know that person isn’t for them. But often Manifestors will try so hard to get everyone to just listen and hop on their train instead of just trusting the right people will hop

right on. Manifestors by nature are VERY independent and when you try to tell them what to do it’ll only back fire on the other person and make the Manifestor become more secretive.  The key for a Manifestor to be met with the least amount resistance is to have their idea, INFORM, then act. That doesn’t mean you inform and ask for other’s input and change what you’re going to do. You are simply informing others about what you’re about to do and then you go do it and the people who are for your train will hop right on in. Manifestors do NOT like to be questioned, so the best way to go about communicating with them is to make a statement and see what they say back or let them come to you. Especially with children. They will come to you and inform you of what they need, you don’t need to ask them. I have a friend with a Manifestor toddler and since learning about her HD type she waits for her daughter to come to her, or she’ll make a statement about what she’s about to do and will see how her daughter reacts to it and it’s worked WONDERS for her.

Reflector (less than 1% of the population) –

The unicorn of Human Design!! <3 My momma is a Reflector and after learning this and researching more and more about HD IT ALL MAKES SENSE. My mom is one of the most misunderstood people I know. Here’s the thing with Reflectors. The have ZERO definition to them, meaning they’re the ultimate chameleon and can literally reflect someone back to themselves. So basically, when you don’t like a Reflector or you have a problem with them you have a problem with yourself or don’t like yourself. It’s not the Reflector, it’s you. All they are is your reflection.

A Reflectors purpose on this either is to reflect how the collective is doing back to them or their “tribe”. How the Reflector is doing is how the people around them are doing. So, if you ever need a reality check of sorts or to check in with how you’re really doing go hang out with a Reflector. Every other HD type has their own light like the sun, where Reflectors are lunar beings and just kind of glow. Luckily, Reflectors by nature aren’t known to NOT take things personally which is golden for them with how easily attacked they are.

Reflectors are another type that need their alone time and space to recharge and shed the energy of the day, so when they ask for space or alone time, give it to them.

PHEW.

I did it.

Now to post it. (YIKES)

For the record HD lights me the f*ck up and I’m EXTREMELY passionate about it, so this is like sharing a piece of my heart and soul with y’all and it’s SCARY.

That is all I have for now and there’s plenty more to follow in blog posts to come.

I’m always here for questions, suggestions or if you’re needing even more insight on HD charts.

Until next time…

Sarah, xo.