#sarantduu

[kharmaisa]

[nerashi]

A chance meeting lead Nerashi to meet Kulain, now chieftess of clan Sarantduu, proving that she is no longer alone in Eorzea! @kulain

[kharmaisa]

The first spar to prove one's worth.

[kharmaisa]

of Kharma

Regarding Sarantduu

Qalli Clan - Indelible Destination

Character’s Thoughts: “I will do everything to see Sarantduu as it was. It is of my heart, with those I remember and who are there now.”

The largest force driving Kharma after her mother: her childhood clan. Due to the horrible experiences she had after being taken from the Qalli Tribe, Kharma has remembered only the best of tribe life: the support, comfort, and unconditional love from those around her. She remembers her mothers song and her ability to make everything right with her song. Being with Sarantduu as a child was her perfect life. Kharma was active, friendly, bold, and loving to everyone. They often joked that she would never settle for one for her love was for all, in the most platonic of ways. The tribe encouraged her as a Daichin, much like her parents. She fought as much as she loved fiercely.  Kharma often reflects back to the memories of old. The feelings of home were treasured. She spent nearly 15 years away from her birth clan. Each one of those days was spent with a drive to return. Nothing compared to her memories of the perfect home. When she was able to locate Sarantduu again, nearly everything had changed in them and in herself. Kharma struggled with the wrath of Dothral and mentality of Kha. There was one sole survivor of the Sarantduu clan, now acting as Khatun to those. Armed with knowledge and wisdom her parents taught her from prior generations, Kulain continues to do what she feels is best for the clan to preserve their ways. 

In many ways Kharma felt out of place at first, but was determined to learn the ways of this new Sarantduu. When the choice came to stay in Eorzea with one who embodied the spirit of her birth clan or to return to the Steppes with those of Sarantduu, it was extremely difficult. In the end, Kharma chose to go with the Xaela group. Her time with Sarandtuu has thus far been most productive thanks to  the breaking of her heart and her return to the Steppes. Daily, she reflects on the values she felt from those who remind her of her birth clan. For now, Kharma is more Kha than Qalli. A fact she has not and likely will not admit. Her stance on how a tribe should be is also of childish nature. She seeks perfection where everyone is loved for who they are and where what everyone loves is respected. Kharma’s struggles with the New Sarantduu made of wanderers, those wishing to support the Qalli clan and encourage those who want to become Qalli. Many of the new people have had negative experiences with different clans and tribes, which vary wildly from what Kharma experienced. There is much that they each must learn including Kharma. Finding the comfort she did as a child has been difficult. Then again, it took her years to find similar comfort with even one person. In the end, Sarantduu is the clan of her mother. Even if the people are different, Kharma will never replace them in her heart. In search of her Heartsong,  Kharma has traveled away from the tribe in attempt to ease her own heart. After years of neglecting her heart in all but finding her birth clan, she hopes to share what she feels in her heart to those she neglected. As she is out away from her tribe, Sarantduu is still in her heart. She cares for those new ones now. With each waking day, she finds will to return the Clan to how she remembered it. 

[kharmaisa]

finally of them.

[kharmaisa]

Early Morning Chat <LS>

KK: <Is all well?> KQ: <♪Mmmm.♪ The ride back to the iloh is uneventful.♪> KK: <...Sainuu, Khatun. From where did you come?> KQ: <♪An ill-fated journey.♪ More tragedy to befall my heart-sister.♪> KK: <More? What of this? Where is she? What help does she need?> KQ: <♪ None that you can offer.♪ She is far outside even my reach.♪> OG: <.....saiunn.> KQ: <♪Sainuu Oyunn.♪> OG: <I know not what to say of your situation except continue on the path you desire.> KK: <This heart sister... do we know her name?> KQ: <♪You do not.♪ Perhaps one sun you will.♪ If she upholds her promise...♪ yet I have little faith it will be.♪> KK: <Why not now? What promise is this?> OG: <A sad thing that, unkept promises.> KQ: <♪Her words are unimportant if they bear no fruit.♪ It matters little to dwell on them.♪> OG: <...do you wish them to? But if it is not to dwell on, then does khatun have a new path?> KQ: <♪Of course I do wish them to come true.♪ It would fill me with joy.♪ But I do not know what path you sing of, Oyunn.♪ I return to the iloh.♪ Nothing has changed.♪> OG: <Nothing more? Well if khatun finds something new on the way back, do let me know of it. My meaning, is perhaps lost? But you do not become lost on the way back. That is also good.> KQ: <♪What do you seek, Oyunn?♪ My sight is filled with my mates most bells of the suns we ride.♪> OG: <I seek sleep again but it is not to be. Perhaps some training with khatun when she returns.> KK: <Perhaps train now on your own, then when Khatun is ready.> OG: <I have and do. What I seek is her aide for those tasks I cannot climb. You..are very early birds you Qalli...> KQ: <♪Mmm.♪ As Kharma sings.♪ Your inability to remain awake while the Dawnfather smiles on us is a hindrance.♪>

OG: <Very early birds. Fine. I am up.> KQ: <♪It makes little sense to waste the light given to us.♪> KK: <Stay up. I am many bells from you. Train as I train. You will not slack while I'm away.> OG: <Early birds! I do much in the light of a candle, but very well I shall strain my eyes to stay roused in the warm light.> KQ: <♪Or simply set aside your stubbornness.♪> OG: <But it is what makes me so delightful.> KQ: <♪We have widely differing opinions of this.♪> KK: <Raise while it is dark. Stay watch when the Dawnfather rises. Both are still in the sky at times. It is nice.> KQ: <♪Your derision does little to endear me.♪> SQ: <♪And does much to raise my ire.♪> OG: <Verbal parables aside... khatun do not take my words as ridicule. I mean so in light jest of my nocturnal habits.> KQ: <♪Mmm.♪ We shall see.♪> KK: <...Oyunn tries. It takes time to adjust. Some more than others. Others, much more than those. All will be well when he is well. He has yet to reach his potential. Oyunn. You will not get there sleeping in late and not training when you are awake. Are you training yet?> OG: <I am unsure whether I am graced by Kharma coming to my aide or not... I will try, try is what you will get. I do not oft sleep at night and find rest in the early hours of the day. Rarely even that.> KQ: <♪Then you should seek aid for this ailment of our healers.♪> OG: <Is this something healers can do? I truly little experience with them.> KK: <Them? There are healers now?> KQ: <♪Mmmm.♪ Herbs for sleeping within a few ticks of taking them.♪ Other herbs for instant sleep.♪ And song of counseling should it be your mind that keeps you from rest.♪ Mmm.♪ Of a sort, Kharma.♪ Temulun and Agasiletai trains.♪ Their daughter should be strong from her lineage.♪ But it is still a couple years before I search for Nhaama's kiss upon her.♪> OG: <Hmmm... then I shall. This has been with me from youth. For that I do not expect a quick resolution.> KQ: <♪You claim much comes from your youth.♪ Yet of it, I have heard more that is merely poor treatment by the Goro than true habits.♪> OG: <I cannot say if it was if Goro neglect, or neglect of whom had me prior. Perhaps it is another result of their lacking, this I cannot say, nor do I think I should say over linkshell. It seems an inappropriate subject for a journey.> KQ: <♪Mmmm.♪ Very well.♪> KK: <If you say. If you see it as your curse, make the most of it. Exert yourself at night. Train to be more of yourself. More of your skill. Khatun can show you many ways, but no one can tell you the best way to be yourself.> OG: <I have a generally high opinion of myself, thank you. But in terms of strengths and weaknesses this is certainly the former if it prevents me a restful night.> KK: A weakness... <Weakness can always be conquered.> OG: <....you make it sound so noble.> KK: <I make it sound how it is. People are weak because they hide from weakness, not because they have it.... At least, that is how I see it.> OG: <...I eat enough sweets, thank you. But yes I understand you, despite my begrudging to admit that it is --- that. I prefer to view it as an obstacle.> KK: <What has this to do with eating? And yes, an obstacle. Obstacle's ware what make you stronger.> OG: <Everything, I'm sure. We shall see. I've already begun my tasks for the day, so such obstacle will have to wait until I can seek a healer's counsel.> KK: <So be it.>

@kulain

[kharmaisa]

Heart, Burn

Words were spoken. Khatun offered to read the letter Kharma received a moon ago.

Kulain Qalli flattened her brow and heaved a sigh through her nose. Her hums are filled with disappointment and displeasure. Once she is done going through the writing a couple times, she lifts her eyes to look at Kharma, "<♪You already know who the sender is, but her words expect a reply from you.♪>" 

Hope came to the Kha’s eyes. "<She is well though? That is all I got from it.... I do not know what words to send back. Nor how. I only know Xaelic text - some.>" Kharma was unable to keep concern and hope from expression and tone. "<♪At the time of the writing, yes.♪ And there are no words to send back.♪>" She grabbed the edges of the parchment to begin tearing it in halves over and over.  Kharma’s hope vanished. She stood, stunned and numb as if half of her heart was ripped up in front of her. There were no words. Kulain held the ripped parchment in her hands. She bent her elbow to hold her hand aloft as the letter burst into flames in her hand. 

Still stunned by the flame, Kharma’s voice was quiet. "<This is not the Sarantduu in my heart. Why are you like this, Khatun? .... Why?>" 

Kulain Qalli lowered her hand and opened her fingers to let the ashes fall to the ground. She dusted her hands together to clear the soot and glanced over to Kharma, "<♪Why am I like what?♪ Like a Qalli?♪ Like a khatun?♪ Like a Xaela who wishes to create a strong tribe with strong bonds among each other?♪ If that is your question, those are the reasons.♪ That eorzean is -NOT- Sarantduu, nor Xaela.♪ They will never be.♪ And the more you let your mind wander backwards, the more I must face and confront disobedience.♪ This is a Qalli tribe.♪ Qalli.♪ We are not eorzean, nor are we Kha.♪ If you want to keep this connection that will continue to cause friction...♪ then go.♪ Go to that eorzean and prove what you really want with your life.♪>" Kharma Kha all but trembled. Fists clenched before relaxing. Her voice was quiet. "<She is not Xaela. She is not Satantdu. But she is of /me/.  Sarantduu, what it was, is of /me/. You tell me to sing my heartsong... yet you disapprove of what is in my heart. No good will come of this. I am of those who invested time in me. They made me. I cannot ever erase that...>"   

[kharmaisa]

Valiant Heart

Another sunset of silence. She would do so again during the dawn, once more in the afternoon. How long had she stopped listening to the linkpeal? Many days. It angered her. It brought false hope. A pitiful exception to a bond that meant so much to her was no longer effective. She wanted to get rid of it, yet, she did not. It was given to her for reason. One day the fickle connection would work again. Maybe if the Elezen ever came to the Steppes... Kharma knew she would not. At least, she had not dwelt on the possibility long. It would do no use spending time thinking about things outside of her control. She had to become of Sarantduu. Her focus was set. She had to learn of her people and find her heartsong again. It did not make parting easier. What soothed the ache eventually was knowing she would be stronger. Kharma would be stronger for all in her heart. She came to a stop. Her dance paused. Her blade stilled. The voice in her head was not from a linkpearl, but from a dream. “Find your song...heart. Find it, and don't ever let it go.” Not permission; encouragement. It had felt real, standing where they had once had in Eorzea. They spoke. They existed. Once again, Kharma was reminded of everything she had been taken from and everyone she let go of. Being home on the Steppes had brought relief and reflection. She was aware of many unsung words meant for the Dothral, for ‘friends,’ for her children, for her mother, for Jehanne.... Words that weighed her heart. Words that needed to be sung from her heart.  Words did no justice. She had not found her song. She was not good at making sense of what she felt. She was a warrior. A fighter. Kharma would fight to defend what was important to her. That meant opening up to others. That meant being able to “indulge in moments,” as a certain dream friend said. In her heart was what drew her so much to her friend: unconditional love that she had as a child. Her Satantduu was in her heart. The smiles of her mother, the strength of her father, the loyalty of their tribe, the leadership of her Khatuun, the dedication of her people... everything she was taken from was found again in one Ishguardian. That reminder of everything she held dear lead her to the remains of the tribe she once knew. A tribe she hoped to know again. There was something unconditional she had not felt from everyone yet. That was something worth fighting for, wherever she went. So, Kharma decided.... She would learn to sing so she could fight for love. Honest and determined, she would remain a valiant heart.