#saturnine22

[saturnine22]

[saturnine22]

To be honest I'm having a hard time reconnecting with my intuition. Today I offered to read cards for two of my family members, and I was not getting anything. My mind went blank, and I could not feel anything. Besides the typical meanings from tarot that I know from memory, I could not get any messages intuitively, nor read their energy.

Typically, before, when I would read cards some years ago, the images would just jump out at me and I would say words that resonate quickly with the person I am reading for. I would look at a spread, and I would immediately get the story being told. That was at the height of my intuition and psychic abilities, I think, and I have been trying hard to get back to that space, but it just won't come back.

It's a horrible feeling, and I begin to think (and others might also) that I am a fraud. I believe the meds might have something to do with this. It is keeping me from accessing my intuitive abilities, or drawing patterns from stories or images. Now I am very pro-meds and pro-recovery, and I do not even consider stopping my medication anytime soon (because the last time I did that I went into a brief psychosis), but this is not helping me progress in my spiritual path at all.

So I am working even harder to explore ways to deepen my spirituality:

Intuition - Deep meditation, contemplation, and visualization are tools to accessing greater intuition, reaching higher levels of consciousness, and connecting with the divine and universe.

Tarot - reviewing and reflecting/ meditating on the meanings of the 78 cards. It may help to keep a tarot journal to record my meditations and findings.

Astrology - getting comfortable reading birth charts of people I know; reading on the meanings and interpreting them.

Witchcraft - engaging in simple rituals that help me get in touch with my spirit and relax my mind and body.

Mindfulness and greater awareness in the spiritual connections and interconnectedness of everyday life.

I am hoping that this is just a phase, and I will come out of this soon. I'm open to any advice from the witchcraft community.

[saturnine22]

Saturnine 🌝 🌕

[saturnine22]

I know all your secrets 🌒🌘

[saturnine22]

Made a very simple altar for myself in my bedroom. I prayed a simple prayer to protect me from harm, to allow love to come in all its forms, but above all, to let it begin with me.

I have been feeling really tired from all the meaningless sex and attention from the past couple weeks. I want to return to myself, and call back my energy from people, places, and habits that leave me feeling empty afterward. I want to learn how to sit with myself instead of constantly searching for comfort outside of me.

I prayed for self-control, emotional healing, and the strength to stop abandoning myself for temporary validation. I want peace. I want balance. I want to feel like myself again.

[saturnine22]

Bruha. I wore a pretty dress today 💙

[saturnine22]

Hi friends, thank you for following me. I’ve gained some mutuals on here recently, and it honestly makes me so happy.

I think I need help getting started on my spiritual journey again. Actually, I’m just starting over after a long absence and disconnection from all things faith, religion, and spirituality. Over the past several months, I’ve been focusing mainly on my mental and physical health, but I still felt like something was missing spiritually and emotionally. I didn’t feel complete.

Less than a year ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 with psychotic features. Although I’m medicated now and mostly stable, I want to be very careful with what I consume in spiritual spaces because I do not want to trigger another episode of mania or psychosis. In the past, I engaged with darker forms of witchcraft and paganism, specifically theistic satanism, and honestly, it did not leave me feeling good. That experience eventually pushed me toward exploring mainstream religions in search of meaning and purpose, which is a long story that I already talked about in previous blog post.

Now that I’m returning to spirituality, I want to approach it gently and carefully. I still have some of my tarot cards, crystals, and amulets, and I still have a huge interest in astrology and birth charts. I would like to experiment with witchcraft again and bring a little magick into my daily life, though I do have reservations about certain beliefs, imagery, and deities.

At this point, I don’t think I would consider myself pagan. I don’t really want to worship or believe in gods, deities, spirits, or demons. I just don’t think I’m mentally ready for that, and I worry it could push me into delusion if I start imagining those things too intensely. I think agnostic is probably the label that fits me best right now. I want to practice spirituality in a way that feels grounded, personal, and safe for me, and build my own path slowly over time.

I would also love to develop my intuition and psychic abilities, and I plan to use tarot as one tool for that. Another thing on my list is learning how to read full birth charts for myself and others because astrology genuinely fascinates me. I would also like to practice meditation and yoga as a form of grounding and reconnecting with my inner self.

If there is anything you would like to know, or want to connect with me, please feel free to ask me anything or DM me.

[saturnine22]

Just got back on tumblr. I'm looking for active personal blogs that are into anything occult, spirituality, witchcraft, tarot & astrology. Bonus points if you're feminist lgbtq+ wlw friendly!

Feel free to follow me and I'll follow you back!