#saulsgoodman

[boxheadpaint]

♥

[livenudebigfoot]

hospital au + I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On: finch/fusco

OH BOY ok

I weirdly have trouble imagining either one of them as a doctor doctor. Finch just sort of operates at a remove from everything - he’s like an organizer who only gets his hands dirty when he has to - while Fusco is like...med school?? him?? He does have big EMT energy howmever.

And then I found the ideal landing space, which is physical therapy.

So Harold Finch...we’ll say like a pre-canon, post-explosion Finch. He’s full of grief, he’s got big plans, he’s scoping out a weirdo for hire to join him in his quest, but before he can defeat premeditated crime in NYC, he must defeat Rehab.

While attending physical therapy, he meets Lionel Fusco, Earth’s most bastardly physical therapist. He is gruff. He is uncouth. He keeps bestowing friendly-yet-oddly-cutting nicknames on Finch. He just generally throws Finch for a loop, socially speaking. This is not the kind of person Finch would choose to talk to, but he’s getting all up in Finch’s business while Finch is at his most vulnerable and Finch Does Not Enjoy It.

Meanwhile Fusco’s like “man this guy is a piece of work” because a) Finch is kind of a snot and b) he’s like the most locked down human being Fusco’s ever met. Very suppressed, very tightly controlled, extremely reticent to describe his own pain, and every time Finch describes how he got injured or really anything about himself, Fusco’s internal lie detector starts going crazy.

I do want to maintain Fusco’s Shifty Past but I’m not sure if I want to come up with something new or if I want to roll with my immediate instinct, which is: Fusco’s backstory is the same except after his inciting bad cop incident, he was like, “Actually, fuck this,” quit the force, and he’s a physical therapist now shhhh don’t ask questions. If Carter can be a lawyer army interrogator cop in canon, Fusco can be a PT. 

Anyway, the process of PT is often really slow and frustrating and painful and Finch is just biting his tongue, absolutely miserable, but every time he even thinks of giving up, Fusco will just make this extremely friendly dig at him and it makes Finch stick it out a little longer. Fusco gives him massages and they’re incredibly painful most of the time but also Fusco’s hands are big and warm and calloused and he tells bizarre or hilarious stories while he’s rubbing Finch’s hip to take his mind off the pain. Finch has a partly water-based exercise routine to take pressure off his joints and it makes him feel weightless and free, and also sometimes Lionel gets in the pool with him to correct his form and uhhhhhhhhh: wet.

and eventually Finch is like “oh good god i have a crush on my physical therapist. how inappropriate of me.”

and meanwhile Fusco is increasingly compelled by Finch, because he’s thawing a little and when Fusco tells a joke, he does a tiiiiny secret smile, but also he’s clearly carrying this massive emotional weight and he’s driven by a form of determination that Fusco can’t begin to understand and he doesn’t trust anybody but he’s learning to trust Fusco, bit by bit, and Fusco really wants to be worthy of that trust.

and Fusco’s like “ah fuck, i’m getting attached”

and they’re both just trying to be regular about it, for each other’s sake, and carry on like everything’s normal but Finch has to consciously stop himself from admitting to his own baseball preferences when Fusco slams his home team and Fusco is distracted by physical contact in a way he isn’t usually and Finch is like incredibly touch-starved and very pro-massage all of a sudden.

Fusco starts calling Finch at night to remind him to do his exercises before bed and Finch is like “i am a grown man you are not the boss of me” but he never misses it, and Fusco never misses a call, even though Finch goes to bed crazy late. 

And then...Fusco’s number comes up. Because Stills and Other HR Dudes are displeased with him. Maybe he Knows Too Much about a thing and they’re willing to off him to stop him from telling what he knows, but Fusco still thinks there’s some kind of loyalty there and is in denial about the danger he’s potentially in. Finch has to save him! But he doesn’t want to tell Fusco about the Machine and also he’s VERY physically vulnerable and has not yet recruited a Weird Assassin to do his bidding. Finch initially tries to manipulate Fusco into being safe before finally learning that Fusco trusts him and it’s easier to just be honest. Lionel learns that Finch is a) weirder than he thought and b) fonder of him than he imagined. They defeat the corrupt cops. They do a kiss. Finch has to get a new physical therapist because it’s weird now, but Fusco still gives him massages on like a casual relationship basis.

anyway i don’t have a crush on my physical therapist, you have a crush on my physical therapist

[jawnwicks]

it’s been six years, i’m allowed to change my url 🍆

[madmaryholiday]

the umbrella academy: 🎶💕💢(preferably without any spoilers because I wanna watch it, or just warn before them lol)

music time: tbh, ALL of the songs in the show are awesome. there’s a lot of covers in season 2, though, and i think the one i liked the most was a cover of billie eilish’s “bad guy.” i also really liked woodkid’s “run boy run” in season 1.

a fave character: klaus is my son and i just want to give him a hug. his life is a neverending nightmare dumpster fire and yet he is still so full of love.

what don’t i like?: let’s just say that certain subplots end in ways that make me sad for the characters involved, and while i like them from like a storytelling perspective, i just want everyone to be HAPPY, goddammit! (i don’t think that counts as a spoiler, given the nature of the show in general and my refusal to name which subplots/characters make me feel this way? but also people who have watched it will probably know at least some of what i’m talking about.)

[ithappensoffstage]

battlestar galactica

Nah | haven’t seen yet | didn’t like/gave up | like it | love it | highly recommend.

a reason why: Seems like a cool sci-fi but we just never got into it? There’s a lot more on our to-watch list that’s more interesting right now, but we do have plans to see it... eventually.

send me a tv series or movie

[ifridiot]

cryptid, rock, neon lights, ghost, grave, neighbour, fae, deer

Cryptid: what kind of otherworldly / cryptid / folklore being do you identify with the most and why?

This is a very hard question for me to answer, I have a very hard time identifying with anything without being told look specifically by other people that I remind them of that thing. I don't think that anybody has ever really likened me to too many other creatures concept aesthetics that kind of thing sure but not so many, like... creatures.

That being said, I often have associated myself with werewolves. There's something that really draws me to the concept of a being that can change its shape, that might look harmless at one moment and then in another circumstance becomes very dangerous and very obviously predatory or imposing and threatening. I have always especially been drawn to stories about werewolves where the werewolf is more sympathetic, rather than the concept of a creature that loses all humanity and can't do anything but savage those around it. I don't really find that to be a compelling narrative at the best of times, much less something that I would really think of myself in connection to. I think I tend to be extremely humane in most of my interactions, regardless of whether I am hurt or upset or not thrilled with the person who is trying to talk to me.

Rock: things you collect?

I collect notebooks. I absolutely adore having something that I can just pick up and write in, to the extent that I have notebooks that live in specific locations so that I always have one on hand. There's a notebook that lives in my bag that goes with me everywhere I go. There's another notebook that lives on the table next to my chair in the living room, and there are many notebooks that live in the bookcase beside my bed.

Another thing I collect is knives. I don't have very many of them anymore, because when I moved out of my dad's place I couldn't really take whole ton with me, but (marge simpson voice:) I just think they're neat. I keep a really fancy ornate one on a display stand that's on top of my dresser, and I have one that shaped like a whale that I got from a friend of mine, and it lives in its sheath because it's very sharp, in the bookcase that's beside my bed. I would really like to get more again at some point

I also collect recipes, especially baking recipes. I really love cooking, and I find it very useful to be able to pull up the exact recipe for something that me and my sister enjoyed, so I can cook it again. So I have lots of bookmarks from when I look recipes up online, just tons of bookmarks. And I have a whole folder of recipes that I've typed up from making shit up on the fly, which I love sharing.

Neon lights: what's your aesthetic?

I always have a really hard time with this question, too. Kind of like the cryptid question, I have a hard time visualizing myself, or seeing enough of myself from an outsider's perspective to really say if the things that I consider my aesthetic actually come across in any real way. Which is to say, I don't know that somebody walking into my space or looking at my blog would necessarily see my aesthetic the way that I see things as being my aesthetic.

Very babbling way of saying, “here are some aesthetic concepts I really like but I don't know if they show up in any way that anybody would ever notice that I actually like them.”

I really love bones and teeth, especially paired with flowers. I like crows and ravens and little finches and sparrow-y song birds. I am very into a sort of goth/punk sort of look with layered clothes and spikes on things... I really like putting pins and buttons on my denim jacket, and I am working on designing a piece to either paint or stitch onto the back of that jacket. As far as interior design aesthetic goes, strong I like lots of plants and like Earth tones in greens and blues, like sages and dusty blues for the wall colours and then lots of shelves to display things on…  lots of plants and lots of big windows to let in light,  but with actual curtains because I like to have some privacy. Wood floors with nice rugs, as opposed to carpet.  I like a very clean kind of decorating without a lot of centralized clutter (I prefer the clutter on shelves, so my blind ass doesn’t get tripped). I guess kind of like a soft cottagecore kind of look. And then add in some very vulture culture details mixed into that, some bones and furs and stuff. Love that kind of shit.

Ghost: have you ever had a paranormal experience?

Yeah I have had a lot of them, especially from when I was a kid growing up in this one really old, shitty house. The one that comes to mind most clearly is this:

I must have been about seven or eight, and I went to my parents’ room to do something – i’m pretty sure I was supposed to put away an armload of clothes. My parents’ room in that house had really bad vibes, like it just felt really spooky almost all the time and I never wanted to be in there by myself.

On this particular occasion, the lights were off and the blackout curtains were drawn so my father, who worked midnights, could sleep. I remember that it was super dark and cool compared to the rest of the house, but in the light from the hall and behind the curtains it wasn’t impossible to see.

Dad’s dresser was across the room, past the bed, from the door. In the corner farthest back from the door, deepest into the room, it was all shadow, and on this particular excursion, I remember something like a piece of shadow breaking from all the rest of the dark back there, and sort of sliding across the ceiling to weight over the dresser. When I stepped forward, intending to ignore this thing, it sort of dripped down, like a very heavy, viscous fluid, to stretch from floor to ceiling.

I absolutely ran, because I’d seen enough horror movies and I didn’t want to die.

Grave: what do you think happens after we die?

Dog, I have no idea. In a less... public forum I might be willing to talk about my really weird theory of everything, But it's extremely long, extremely involved, and I definitely sound like like the insane person that I am when I start talking about it. So not here and not now.

Neighbour: if you lived in an eerie town in the middle of nowhere, one of those where everybody knows something is wrong, but nobody talks about it, what would your role be?

Okay, so I absolutely insist that, in this scenario I am able-bodied enough to hold a job. I am the bookstore owner / employee who gives advice to travelers but in a really ominous, like, ‘get the fuck out while you can’ kind of way. I absolutely take no shit from anybody, I'm married to the town so I won't leave, but I want everybody to survive so I'm definitely giving people advice…

Unless I don't like them, in which case they can eat shit.

Fae: wings or fins?

Wings, absolutely every time. I'm not afraid of heights, I absolutely believe if I had been born with wings I would be a much different physically shaped person. That is to say, I feel like wings are one of those body parts that, were they naturally occurring and part of me, would have kept me inclined to being much more physically active and I probably would not be as dramatically overweight.  I absolutely would be the kind of person who just fucking flies places.

Deer: antlers or fangs?

I think that it is absolutely a hate crime specifically against me that I am being asked to pick one or the other.

I should be allowed to have both, and I would have the most glorious, gigantic fucking multi-pronged deer antlers, and just like absolutely massive fangs, like the male orcs from World of Warcraft tusks except where your upper canines are, just massive...

actually, can we be real and just say I absolutely have tusks like orcs as well?

[sparreauxchirps]

saulsgoodman replied to your post:I’m so sick of my energy, my pain, my effort, my...

in what way, friend?

Because of my illness and chronic pain, it takes a great deal of effort for me to accomplish anything physical or honestly anything at all, but it feels increasingly like I’m expected to make those sacrifices for the comfort and ease of everyone around me. People who can achieve these things with far less personal sacrifice.

Actually, I wouldn’t even say increasingly, because I’ve always been this doormat.

[rexaleph]

adfgsdf replied to your post “somatization or let down effect or whatever is . my dog died last...”

❤️

saulsgoodman replied to your post “somatization or let down effect or whatever is . my dog died last...”

My heart goes out to you friend ❤

thanks, i’m coping alright! just got kinda sad about not getting better soon enough