Ruby Cullen and Sydney Cook are Young Achilles and Young Patroclus, growing up on Mount Pelion and learning their own place in the songs of heroes and gods. Follow along for more footage of our virtual performances at California Junior Classical League’s state conventions
"Do you want anything before you go?" he asks, pausing the video game he's playing before spinning in his chair to look at me.
My eyes drift lazily from the screen to his face as I ponder the question. "What about a will to live?" I joke.
I smile up at him then, expecting a reply, but he doesn't say a word. All he does is lean closer and gently boops my nose with the pad of his finger. I scrunch up my face at him confusedly, but he doesn't blink.
"There you go," he says simply.
act i, scene i // the start of something i never intended // thewriterain
A semi-dark room scantily furnished. A sliding door opens and the distant chaos of a battle can be heard as two ghosts enter. The first, the soul of the legendary Hangaku Gozen, is dressed in her full samurai armor. The second, Lady Seishin, wears a kimono that might have been stylish 100 years ago and a kabuki fox mask that she never takes off. At the back of the stage is a small fire pit and a small window. Seishin stirs the embers and then stands by the window, peering anxiously out.
SEISHIN.
It is a wild night outside.
HANGAKU.
Help me off with this helmet. Is the rain still coming down?
SEISHIN.
In torrents. I cannot see the other side of the road.
HANGAKU.
That's good.
SEISHIN.
If not being able to see someone ten feet away is good, then hai. Luck is with us. Should I put the oil wick in the window?
HANGAKU.
[Sitting down next to fire with her helmet in her hands.] Why? No. Only when we hear her order a retreat. That's what she said.
SEISHIN.
But on a night like this she may have pulled the troop all the way back to Kyoto and we'll never know.
HANGAKU.
Do not be so querulous, you cranky fox.
SEISHIN.
This isn't me being cranky. Something is about to happen. Listen to the wind sobbing around the house … a lost soul that we're refusing to let enter.
HANGAKU.
Why would we do that? The wind loves us.
SEISHIN.
The wind puts up with us. Ever since--- What was that?
HANGAKU.
[Listens.] It is our message, I think. [Listens harder.] Something is coming. Douse the fire.
[The room is reduced once more to semi-darkness.]
SEISHIN.
Shouldn't we---?
[This time the sound is heard by both women. Someone or something in groaning in the dark. They stand as the door slides open and Jiutian Xuannu enters.]
XUANNU.
Cousins, why are we wasting time here? I was going to call retreat but those stupid Takahashi samurai are milling about right over there and look so smite-able.
HANGAKU.
But who is going to do the smiting? You?
XUANNU.
You look sad, cousin. We're shadows, azure-
eyed, made from lust and stardust and despise
blood and afterbirth. Fools fear our power
to peel off our pelts. Fools fear change, disguise,
the way floods deform and do not deform
dry earth. But, cousin, what use are nightmares
if you can wake up? Why try to transform
when we can slaughter? We don't need more snares
fools keep slipping free from. Call Onibaba.
She's a friend. She has farseeing vision
and short cruel knives. Fools call her, “Hag with Tusks
and Fangs Chitter-Chatting in her Vulva.”
Fools fear her carnage; her love of carrion;
how she sucks both down to their very husks.
HANGAKU.
Fetch her.
[Jiutian Xuannu exits.]
HANGAKU [cont.]
But first, let's test her skills. Seishin, you pretend to be me.
SEISHIN.
I'm not a ghost. I think she'll notice.
[Jiutian Xuannu, Onibaba and Kijo all enter.]
SEISHIN.
Ah, Lady Onibaba. Chrysanthemum in the Legion of Flowers. Mire in the Order of Tenacity. Chalice of Malice. Fury of the Divine Crest. It is I, your Lady Hangaku!
ONIBABA.
Xuannu, I find it odd that the, “Terror of Genpei,” would be both Jiuzhou and alive.
XUANNU.
[Aside.] That was the worst Hangaku impersonation I've ever seen.
HANGAKU.
Lady Onibaba, please forgive me for being cautious. Who is this?
ONIBABA.
[Indicating Kijo.] My daughter, Lady Kijo.
HANGAKU.
[Incredulous.] You had sex?
ONIBABA.
Hai.
HANGAKU.
[Skeptical.] With a mortal?
ONIBABA.
Hai.
HANGAKU.
[Scandalized.] O my, you nanty narking chuckabog.
ONIBABA.
I don't think you brought me all this way to make snide comments about my lovers.
[A loud moaning begins from outside and the wind rattles against the hut's walls.]
ONIBABA [cont.]
The dusk wails and you pray for Onibaba
to smite souls. It's fitting that twilight
moans for us, glimpsing our hitodama,
our blue-green flames, as we pass in the night,
searching for the spot where we died; where our
blood touched the earth and our hubris melted
when we found out all our sweet truths were sour,
our faiths false. Who claims to know what's sacred?
How I don't know. But they'll kill for it.
You want me to go out and lay the Eight
Ring Curse on those men? Men who love carnage
and their samurai bushido bullshit?
I'll do it. Saints say hate cannot kill hate.
I say all we are is gristle and rage.
SEISHIN.
[Aside.] These mountain demons can be very tempting with their tongues.
ONIBABA.
Don't frown, Lady Hangaku. That was you once, too: a butcher. Now you're just dead and vague.
[The door opens and a little battlefield spirit acting as a messenger enters.]
SENJO BOZU.
[Bowing.] My sovereign. Ladies of the court. I come from the walls of Osaka. Takahashi's soldiers have stormed our outer defenses. We are now fighting in the streets.
XUANNU.
What sort of necromancers do they have that can breach our spells?
HANGAKU.
I heard that Emagami The Blight was selling herself again, but her skills are pitiful.
XUANNU.
[To Onibaba.] My lady, do you think that we should give up on Osaka, or not?
ONIBABA.
Of course not. Only cowards and monks run away.
HANGAKU.
Yattaaaa! I agree with what she says: we'll fight it out.
ONIBABA.
Glory is like the ripples on the water. You have given me the task of whipping the Takahashi then I will beat those waters until they froth.
HANGAKU.
Lady Onibaba, drive the living daylights out of Osaka. They says the root of suffering is attachment. I say we beat that koan home on the skulls of Takahashi and his men.
[All exit.]
][][
Notes:
Onibaba is, as her name states, is a red-skinned, white-haired Japanese ogre. She carries a kanabo (Iron war stick) slung over her shoulder.
Hangaku Gozen was an actual warrior and fought in the Genpei War (1180-1185 AD).
Jiutian Xuannu (Dark Lady of the Nine Heavens) is a Chinese goddess of war, lust and longevity. With long Mandarin robes and her Dadao (“Big sword”) she justifies showing up in this play by saying that she is on holiday.
Seishin kitsune is one of the names used for a fox spirit.
Senjo bozu. A spirit from the battlefield.
Jiuzhou is an ancient name for China.
Hitodama are a pair of blue flames (similar to will o' the wisps) that accompany a ghost when it manifests.
Beatrice’s Lament, from Shakespeare’s romantic comedy Much Ado About Nothing (Act IV, Scene I).
After her cousin Hero has been accused of cheating on Count Claudio and left at the altar, Beatrice vents her frustrations to Benedick about being a woman in Elizabethan society and unable to help her cousin as a man could. Benedick confesses his love for Beatrice and she reciprocates. Beatrice then begs him to defend her cousin’s honour, because Beatrice herself cannot. Though he initially refuses, Benedick realizes how badly Beatrice is hurting for her cousin’s situation and resolves to fight Claudio on her behalf.
Both characters are voiced by me. Music is by Kevin MacLeod. Words are from the incomparable pen of William Shakespeare.
Script available under the cut.
BENEDICK
Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?
BEATRICE
Yea, and I will weep a while longer.
BENEDICK
I will not desire that.
BEATRICE
You have no reason; I do it freely.
BENEDICK
Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged.
BEATRICE
Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her!
BENEDICK
Is there any way to show such friendship?
BEATRICE
A very even way, but no such friend.
BENEDICK
May a man do it?
BEATRICE
It is a man's office, but not yours.
BENEDICK
I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is that not strange?
BEATRICE
As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe in me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.
BENEDICK
By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.
BEATRICE
Do not swear, and eat it.
BENEDICK
I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.
BEATRICE
Will you not eat your word?
BENEDICK
With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.
BEATRICE
Why, then, God forgive me!
BENEDICK
What offence, sweet Beatrice?
BEATRICE
You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you.
BENEDICK
And do it with all thy heart.
BEATRICE
I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.
BENEDICK
Come, bid me do any thing for thee.
BEATRICE
Kill Claudio.
BENEDICK
Ha! not for the wide world.
BEATRICE
You kill me to deny it. Farewell.
BENEDICK
Tarry, sweet Beatrice.
BEATRICE
I am gone, though I am here: there is no love in you: nay, I pray you, let me go.
BENEDICK
Beatrice,—
BEATRICE
In faith, I will go.
BENEDICK
We'll be friends first.
BEATRICE
You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy.
BENEDICK
Is Claudio thine enemy?
BEATRICE
Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they come to take hands; and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour, — O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place.
BENEDICK
Hear me, Beatrice,—
BEATRICE
Talk with a man out at a window! A proper saying!
BENEDICK
Nay, but, Beatrice,—
BEATRICE
Sweet Hero! She is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.
BENEDICK
Beat—
BEATRICE
Princes and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count, Count Comfect; a sweet gallant, surely! O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving.
BENEDICK
Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.
BEATRICE
Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.
BENEDICK
Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero?
BEATRICE
Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul.
BENEDICK
Enough, I am engaged; I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say she is dead: and so, farewell.
