I graduate soon, and I'm super worried because I. I don't know what to do anymore. I've finished all of my work and everything. I've always been full of restless energy, but school routine has kept it in check until now. like, school was hell, but at least it was structured, manageable, routine hell. I need to get my license, and get a job, and move out, and go to college, but like ... I'm so mentally ill from all the fucking trauma that it's difficult to take care of my basic needs. I don't know if I can do any of those things, or that I should be allowed to. makes me feel a little worthless! I ... probably qualify for disability, but I still have to move away from here (out of state), for reasons I don't think I should articulate on a public ask. I'm only 16, and I can't get my "dream job" regardless until I'm in my 20s, so I still have, like, time to think. I just ... I'm only now starting to unpack my trauma, and it takes So Much Energy. energy I already don't have to spare. how am I supposed to pretend to be normal when I'm so exhausted?
I guess I mean to ask ... you're an adult, how do you function?
It has been a while, Pink!
I’m 100% on the same boat currently, only in college. So maybe that gives you a bit of peace knowing that college is another daily routine for the next 2-4 years of your life. Also I’m a junior and I still have my permit and no job. Don’t feel like you have to be a certain level of adult to continue on with your future.
Also, don’t feel like you have to figure out your career path before you hit college. I came in undeclared and then changed my major like 4 times before I landed on creative writing. For most colleges, you don’t even have to declare a major until your junior year. Just take your gen eds and sign yourself up for classes that intrigue you, and you’ll find your niche that way.
Like for me, this summer I’m taking music theory to learn how to read music, and then I’m taking game design. Imo the most important thing in going to college is doing what you love, even if that’s not the most ambitious or lucrative path. Just have fun with it.
I would not recommend unpacking your trauma alone. I don’t know if your parents are open to the idea, but I would suggest proposing getting yourself into therapy. I think it might be especially crucial as you prepare for graduation.
Honestly I don’t have advice about pretending to be normal because I too am having issues taking care of my basic needs. It’s important to acknowledge your exhaustion and ensure that other people acknowledge it too.
If you ever get to the point I’m at when you’re at college, where you’re just burning out and only leave your bed to pee, make sure to just let all your teachers know you’re having severe mental health issues and they’ll more than likely give you the extensions you need (if they’re nice, which in my experience is often). The biggest thing that colleges drilled into my head during open houses and orientation is that everything is up to you. You have to tell people what you need or else they’re not obligated to save you. It’s harsh but they will cut you slack so long as you ask for it.
I feel like this kinda ended on a weird note idk, but it’s so good to see you in my asks again and I hope I hear from you bunches in the near future!
