#school humor

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[mycatsaidwhat]

things i’ve heard english majors say pt. 16

-I need to print out my plot outlines single-sided because flipping them is driving me nuts, why can’t I shut the fuck up and write anything less than 42 chapters plus a 9 character pov epilogue 

-I don’t think I could ever be drunk enough to write a YA novel  

-I can’t ghost him, a character based on him is half of the story that I’m writing 

-me having to check if I’ve already used to word “immortally” in every nonfiction essay I’ve ever written 

-“it’s living too much outside the poem” just say its too vague or too ambiguous, you slut 

-mmm, the “always” kind of love. Tasty. 

-his father used to hit him and his favorite authors are all 19th century Russian men–of course he’s not a virgin

-nothing like bad movies that make me want to write 

-my face would look a lot more panicked if I was doing math right now 

-discussing serif typeface until i start internally bleeding 

-oh she said enjambment, she said utilizing white space 

-oh it ends with a period. That's a choice. 

-nothing more confusing than walking onto the bus on Thirsty Thursday while listening to the Downton Abbey theme 

-if anyone in the communications building sees me half bent over, clutching my head with both hands and slightly shaking, no you didn’t and this is actually pretty normal behavior 

-it was “best friend’s younger brother” but now it’s “my best friend’s younger bitchass playboy cousin who left me on delivered for 8 days and who I met exactly once and now I’m living near him because we hate the country we come from.” It’s called diversity. 

-I’m writing my poli sci essay

Sick, I’m writing the epilogue for book 3 when I haven’t finished book 1 or properly plotted book 2 

-literally no inconvenience is too small for me to lose my mind over 

-I don’t want to change the world, that sounds like a lot of work. But if I write something that inspires someone with a lot more initiative to change the world for me, that would be real great 

[the-football-chick]

[poppific]

its all fun and games until my english teachers comes up behind me while making this post

[random-stuff-haha]

[blackseaprint]

(со страницы Battery life of a teacher Floor Pillow by BlackSeaPrint)

[the-ghost-king17]

When I die, I want to haunt my school. So then it gets a bad reputation and nobody goes to it.

[shinytidalwavebread]

Me: well I did the homework but I couldnt bring it in because...

My teacher: dont tell me your dog ate it

Me: no. Of course not. That would be silly.

Me: my cat did