The Devil and God are raging inside me

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The Devil and God are raging inside me
He deserved better
I may not particularly care for Taylor Swift or her music, but when one of the autistic boys that I work with asks me to sing her songs for him I suddenly know every line. I absolutely have the best job in the world.
I feel like I’m more prone to serious mental illnesses and it just hasn’t developed yet bc rn I have anxiety but sometimes it feels like I’m close to having psychosis or some issue that could be rlly bad like I’m afraid bc ik ppl who hv schizophrenia usually don’t get it until well into adulthood & im only 20 rn & I just feel like I’m supposed to get schizophrenia or find out I have it someday even tho I don’t have hallucinations or anything the way my brain works seems strange sometimes?
Maybe talking to a therapist about your concerns?
-mod Grant