Anon Advice Asks - June 18
roblox anon (new), ghosted anon (new), catholic guilt anon, midnights anon, scream anon (new)
roblox anon
I donāt really have anyone else to confide in regarding to this matter (bc it sounds so stupid) so I guess Iām saying it here.
Just over an hour ago my best friend sends me a screenshot. The screenshot is dark but if you look at it you can see itās a Roblox game and a character (that looks like mine but missing the face and hair and shirt) is stood in front of a donation booth for ppl to donate game currency and the booth has my username on it but I donāt play very much and definitely havenāt played any donation games.
The conversation goes:
Me:the flip
Me:why does that have my user in it
Me:have you fucking hacked me
Best friend: yes
Me: nah like actually explain
Me:freaked out man
Me: best friends first name
Me: her middle name
Me: her last name.
Best friend:yes
Me: Thatās fucking creepy man actually fucking explain
Me: best friends full name you answer my call right now
*facetimes several times with no answer*
Best friend:Bro calm down
Me: Nah I donāt like it when u take ages to answer
Me: Anyways now Iāve got ur attention letās have an explanation please
Best friend:I think someone hacked u
Me (through several texts):why. Did u see that pic in a game? I logged out on everything but my phone with the button in settings. What game was that. And when. Best friends full names name?
She takes a long time between answers and itās been 21 minutes since her last response and it creeps me out bc Iām autistic and very anxious so I keep feeling like Iām on the verge of a panic attack even though this is so stupid.
Yeahhhhhh I wouldn't like that either. Like I get she's trying to be silly or whatever but that's just annoying. Obviously you're distressed and she's being frustrating on purpose. Did you ever find out if she was the one who hacked you? If she was, that's not cool. If not, then I would just be like "hey...if something like that happens again, please just give me the info, it makes me anxious when you text like that." You're allowed to set boundaries and being messed with like that can be funny to some but frustrating to others. It's annoying to you and that's okay!
I need an update though, please lmk what happened!
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ghosted anon
just found out a person I was talking to many months ago has a boyfriend and Iām happy that theyāre happy but also pissed off because I got ghosteddddddddddd. Ignored on another level. He pretended I didnāt exist. Saw me in the street? Zero recognition
So they donāt deserve it but they do because we werenāt for each other on that level but still. I want to punch him?
anyway my heart got sad for a second
Iām over it now
Yeah I think it's natural to have mixed feelings about that! This person hurt you, it makes sense that you don't feel happy that they're happy. But it also sounds like you realize that things probably worked out for the best, which is good. They don't sounds like they respect you and you deserve better than that <3
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outlet anon
Hey Cas, Outlet anon here.
I'm freaking out a teensy little bit and my service dog (I'm gonna start calling him XO because saying "my service dog" every time I mention him is getting old) has been on my ass all day about it, like he literally hasn't left me alone and I'm dying because my anxiety isn't THAT bad, right? But I'm leaving for the airport in almost exactly two hours and I just sat down for the first time in eight hours and I still have a couple things to do, but I should be able to do them from bed, so I'm okay.
But aaaaaaaaaaaaaa fuck I'm leaving in two hours holy shit. It still doesn't feel real for some reason? Like the fact that I'm leaving STILL hasn't registered, and I've been planning this trip for almost two years.
I hate that I can't bring XO, but I'll only be gone for two weeks and my mother is able to take care of him, so he'll be okay (I will too, don't worry. I'm not going alone, and I survived for years without XO). It's going to suck, but the rest of the experience will make up for it.
I probably won't send in another ask until I get back, but when I do, I'll tell you about how it goes :)
Sending love <3
Hi!
Listen, travel is STRESSFUL and animals can sense when we're leaving so I'm sure XO was just looking out for you <3
I hope your flight went safely and YES please lmk how everything went when you get back! Sending both you and your service dog love!
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catholic guilt anon (I think that's what you meant?)
Hey, catholic guitar anon here. Itās been awhile hasnāt it?
I know youāre not like a preacher or anything but I donāt have another person to go to?
Iāve felt so disconnected from my religion, and life in general, and every so often Iāll get an intrusive thought of āwouldnāt you be so much freer if you forgot about your religionā and it scares me. I donāt celebrate/experience my religion like most people who share my beliefs do, and when I try to read the Bible I feel all confused when I see things that confuse or contrast with each other. I know that I just have to keep learning and researching about my religion to understand it better, but itās all so scary.
Usually people feel small and the issue feels so big and scary
But I feel too big mentally and spiritually and that disconnect between how big and important (Iām not sure if thatās the right word) I feel, and how small that my religion feels is scary.
I know that almost every other queer person has gone through the ācatholic to queerā pipeline, as in theyāre mutually exclusive
But Iām not experiencing that. Itās just that I feel so weird and big and uncomfortable and unnatural in my mind and I just want to know how to feel safe in God and feel more connected
Hi! <3
I'm gonna be so honest, I'm not super religious so I'm going to try my best to help but idk how much my advice will help...
I think there's two things I would try: could you try to find some people who also share your religion and views and talk with them about it? Like maybe if there's a bible study group online or irl? An online chat group or something? It's pride this month and a lot of times at pride, there are religious groups that march in the parades FOR queer people, maybe you could see if any of those show up at your local pride, if there is one?
The other thing that's more personal to me and doesn't necessarily coincide with any religion is like...finding a higher power in the world. in the beauty of yourself, in nature, in the things around you. Like sometimes for me, going to the beach in winter, seeing the power of the waves...I don't know if I believe in God per se, but seeing that makes me think there's some sort of higher power out there. If you're feeling disconnected from God, could you go for a walk at a place that feels safe to you and look for reminders that God is out there?
Like I said, I'm not sure how helpful this is because I'm not familiar with your struggle but please know I'm sending you love <3
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midnights anon
Hello, itās midnights anon!
Thank you, again, for listening to me ramble and be melodramatic,
And for the scar thing. I feel like it sounded silly but I really needed to get it off my chest
I did indeed go to my friendās swimming competition thing! She was SO GOOD!! Also, the movie thing was something different that I was doing and also ended up going to (I got to watch my dad react to Mean Girls and it was hilarious. Especially the bus scene)
But besides that and New York
Ever since the summer started, Iāve been struggling a little bit with existing? I felt so wiped out from the school year that Iāve not been doing hobbies or working out as much, but I know putting pressure on myself like this can make things worse, but then I feel guilty for doing nothing, but then doing things feels hard, but then I end up doing nothing and feel even more guilty,
And it feels especially bad because I put so much pressure on myself to do so much over the summer and āfix myselfā even though thatās not really a thing since it implies oneās existence can be incorrect
I just feel like I can never just, get the ill feeling out of me? Iām not sure what to call it but I can never sit still or rest or relax. Even if itās with media I enjoy/like. I chalked it up to a low attention span but maybe Iām wrong?
Also my life feels super boring? I mean, I donāt want it to feel boring. I always have hobbies to do, or choose to not do, but I think itās because Iām a bit lonely? Hobbies are great but I think friendships that i genuinely feel like me in would be a lot better. I feel like what Iām doing isnāt boring in itself. Having (although fairly limited) freedom to enjoy oneself is not boring, but I think the absence of relationships that I choose to be myself in and engage in can make things feel dull.
I did read part of a book today though! I felt super good about it, and Iām trying not to let myself turn it into something to feel guilty about
Also on Wednesday Iām doing that writers thing at the library, where I just hang out with other people who have their own stories and work on mine while they work on theirs. Itās just an hour of uninterrupted writing time! Hopefully Iāll make friends there? Also, how does one make friends? I know I should be willing to talk to others, comment on things (like how cool their outfit or hair is, etc.) and wear things that show my interests (like my Fender tshirt) but is there something Iām missing?
Also also I realized something kind of weird but nice at the same time. I have a pretty good memory when it comes to other people, like, theyāll tell me something about themselves and Iāll remember it for months even if it was something random, but a VERY bad memory when it comes to myself. My memories are specific and detailed, but I donāt have many because it was either during a very rough period of my life, or I was too young to remember, or I was trying not to let my mental struggles show so I couldnāt really take in much information. (That was the weird part) but because of that, my favorite thing that people do for me is tell me about a memory they have of me, since I probably donāt remember it. Iām pretty sure that I donāt really matter/occupy space in peopleās minds unless Iām actively talking to them, so hearing that they occasionally think of me when Iām not around is a nice thought
Thank you for listening to me ramble and stuff! I hope your day is going well!
Hi! I'm so glad the movies and the swimming competition went well!
Remember, spending time relaxing, doing your hobbies, resting...those things ARE part of working on yourself. If you don't do those things, you're going to become even more stressed and burned out. I know sometimes it feels counterproductive, but you HAVE to take care of yourself <3
For making friends (especially at a writer's event), I think asking people questions and actually listening to their answers is helpful! Ask people what they're writing, then ask thoughtful questions about what they tell you (even if it sounds boring). Idk about you, but when people show an interest in my interest, I LOVE it.
For your memory- yeah, having a shit memory when you've gone through shit earlier in life is really common. That makes sense <3 I agree, it's nice to know that you matter and people are thinking of you!
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scream anon
how to not scream and out myself as a non binary demisexual, bisexual person with a preference for women when they are constantly trying to play matchmaker and ship me with my literal cousin guy (I'll be freshly 18 in a month while he is 21 years old) š„²š„²š¤
Um well....first of all, I'd tell them that you're not interested in anyone with a blood relation to you because what the fuck?
And second, would they take "I don't want to date right now" as an answer? Remember, you don't owe coming out to anyone, and 'no' can be a complete sentence <3
