Don't You Cry No More (PLOT)
Finally, after all this time, Lilibeth reveals the truth about their son to Ric.
(major plot things because stuff happens to Ric, and new characters, and this is really important and I just alksdjfn)
For a change, Beth had invited Ric over to the forge for dinner that night, instead of her having to go to the camp. She’d cooked for him and they’d sat together in the small room that she lived in above the smithy, eating and talking. But as the night crept on, things started to become more intimate, and as they stood with their lips locked together, waiting to move to the bed, Beth felt completely at ease in his arms, like always.
At least until he said it.
“Let’s make a baby,” Ric whispered against the hollow of her neck, kissing her skin hotly again.
“Ric…” she said quietly, but he didn’t stop.
“Please, let’s try… It won’t work, but I want to try,” he continued to kiss her neck, his arms around her waist, “I love you, Lili. And I want to have a family with you.”
“And what, Ric? Raise them in camp? Dress them in armour as soon as they’re old enough? Send them out to fight the Imperials once they can hold a sword?” she couldn’t look at him, or she would lose her nerve.
“Can’t we just try? It won’t happen. It’s never worked before. I just… I want it to mean something. Or are we just going to keep doing this until we either get too old, or I die in action? And then we have nothing to show for it. Is it so wrong for me to want a child?”
She pulled away from him, “It’s worked before,” she whispered, tears in her eyes.
“What… What d’you mean?” he frowned.
“I’ve been pregnant before, Ric,” she told him, not daring to look around at him.
“Did you lose it?” he asked.
Tears slid down her cheeks silently, “Not quite.”
“What’s goin’ on?” his eyebrows furrowed closer together.
“You have a son,” she said quietly.
“How… what… I don’t understand,” he said, starting to get angry. He didn’t know what was going on; what in Oblivion she was talking about.
“You have a son, Ric. He must be nearly thirteen by now. You left him inside me, and then you ran off to join the Stormcloaks,” she said bitterly.
“Lili… I didn’t know… Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” he reached to hold her, but as soon as she felt his presence, she shrugged herself away.
“What would you have done, hm? Come home? Married me so that no one knew I was carrying your bastard child? You can really imagine how that conversation would have gone with my father.”
“I would have taken care of you. You and our child.”
“So I was supposed to make you give up your dream of going to join the army so that I could force you into family life? You would have come to resent me for it.”
“You know me, you know that I could never feel like that about you. You know that I-”
“Yes Ric, I know that you love me. But you loving me isn’t enough. It was never enough. You could love me when you’re off fighting some rebel cause, but it didn’t stop me having to go through childbirth without you. It didn’t stop my father from taking our son from my arms barely before they’d cut the cord. I held him for less than a moment, and you loving me didn’t prevent him from being taken from me and given to an orphanage.” She was shaking with rage by now, but the tears kept flowing down her cheeks, “I loved him, Ric. He was the most beautiful little thing I’d ever seen, and I wanted to keep him. I wanted to raise our son so that one day, when all of this was over, when you could come home to me; I would have our beautiful little boy ready to meet you, no matter how long it took. That was my dream, Ric. I wanted that life with you, no matter how long I would have to wait, because I knew that you would come back to me. And you did. But our son…. Gods knows where he is.”
He couldn’t hold back any longer and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close against him. She let him, burying her face into his chest as she started to sob into his shirt. Harsh, pained sobs came out of her mouth, her body heaving with the force of them. Ric didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen her cry like this before. She had teared up when he had left for the army, but she hadn’t broken down like this, not his strong, beautiful Lilibeth.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, kissing her hair gently, “Everythin’s goin’ to be okay.”
“How do you know that?” she whispered, her voice thick with tears.
“Because we’ll find him, okay? We’ll find our son,” he told her, taking her face in his hands and wiping her wet cheeks.
“Ric, we can’t just find him,” she said, voice breaking, “It’s been thirteen years. We won’t even know what he looks like.”
“We’ll know, Lili,” he murmured, “We’ll know him when we see him… Close your eyes and imagine him.”
She closed her eyes, sighing, “I don’t know, Ric.”
“Are you tellin’ me that after all these years you haven’t wondered what he looks like?”
Her chest heaved with another sob, but a deep breath kept it down, “He… He’s got brown hair,” she said, “Same colour of yours… And your smile… He looks like a mini version of you. But he has my eyes. Gods, Ric, he’s so beautiful.” Tears ran down her cheeks and he just held her.
“We’ll find him. I promise you. And we can be a family. You, me and our little boy. I’ll get us a house. You can work in the local smithy. I’ll find farm work, shop work, anythin’.”
“You… You’d leave the army?”
“Lili, for a chance at a family with you, I would leave the Stormcloaks without a second thought. I’ve given them enough. They’ve had thirteen years of my service, thirteen years that I could have had with you. They will always be my brothers, but they won’t have my sword anymore.”
“I could never ask you to do that, Ric.”
“You don’t have to ask me. I’ve made my choice. I choose you and our son… And we will find him, Lili, I promise you.”
***
So, they started right back at the beginning. The following week, when Beth could finally get some time away from the forge, they made the trip to Riften, riding on the brigade’s old horse together. Beth’s father had told her that he had given the baby to the orphanage there, so that was where they started their search.
As they walked towards Honorhall, Beth froze up, her hands starting to shake, “I can’t do this Ric.”
He took hold of her hands, looking at her, “Yes you can. I thought you wanted this, to find our son.”
“I do,” she whispered, “But what if we don’t recognise him? What if someone else has already adopted him? What if… What if he’s dead?”
He put his hands on her cheeks, “He’s not dead, Lil. You’d know, you’d be able to feel it. Do you honestly believe he is?”
She shook her head, “No. But that doesn’t mean he’s goin’ to be in there. My father could have lied to me.”
“He would have brought him here… I’m sure of it,” Ric said, then took her hand in his, “C’mon. We can do this. We’re goin’ to find our son.”
They entered Honorhall and Beth’s eyes glazed with tears at the thought of her son growing up in this place. An old woman came to greet them, but it wasn’t much of a greeting.
“Are you two lost?” she glared at them, “What d’you want?”
“We’re lookin’ for a little boy,” Ric told her, “About thirteen years old.”
“You’re more specific than the usual people we get adopting kids,” she said, folding her bony arms across her chest, “We haven’t got many left after some big guy came in claiming he was the Dragonborn and adopted a bunch of them.”
“We’re lookin’ for one boy in particular. He would have been raised here from birth. He’s likely got dark hair and brown eyes… Might look a bit like a small version of myself,” Ric said.
The old woman looked him up and down and she gave a little nod to herself before quickly shaking her head, “Haven’t had any kids like that. Can’t help you.”
“Wait a minute,” Beth said, pushing in front of Ric, “This child was definitely raised here. Now there is something you’re not telling us. Where is he?”
“If you aren’t goin’ to take one of the other brats with you, I think you should leave,” the woman said sharply.
Ric let out a sigh, grabbing Beth’s hand and pulling her towards the door. They walked out into the street, and they suddenly heard a little voice calling to them. Beth looked up and saw the walled garden on the side of the orphanage. She jogged over, standing up on a crate to see over the wall. On the other side stood a little blonde girl with wide blue eyes, wearing a dirty dress and no shoes.
“That boy you were describin’,” she said, “Are you his Ma?”
Beth nodded, “Aye, I’m his Ma. I wanted to find him. Do you know where he is?”
The little girl smiled, “Grelod kicked him out a few years ago for puttin’ baby mudcrabs in her bed. He became a ‘pprentice to the smithy over there. He used to sneak us treats over the wall. He had to leave though. I don’t know where he is now though.”
“Thank you, thank you so much,” Beth beamed, reaching into her bag and pulling out a handful of coins and the sweetroll she’d brought with her, “Here, it’s the least I can give you.”
The little girl grinned and Beth saw that one of her front teeth was missing, “Thank you, miss!”
“Wait,” Beth said, “What’s his name?”
“Danby, miss,” the girl told her.
Beth stepped down from the crate, looking around at Ric, a smile on her face, but Ric’s eyes were glazed a little with tears.
“Did she just say that his name is Danby?” he asked.
Beth nodded, “Aye. Why? Don’t you like it?”
“It’s not that, it’s…” he let out a shaky breath, running a hand through our hair, “That kid we get come to the camp sometimes, runnin’ errands and doin’ some weapon repairs for us… His name is Danby.”
Beth stared at him, mouth slightly agape, “Could… Could it be him?”
“He’s the right age, and he told me once that he was a smithy’s apprentice when he was younger, was convinced that he had smithin’ in his blood… Colby used to joke that he looked like me.”
“Is he at the camp now?” she asked, tears shimmering in her eyes.
Ric nodded, “He’s stayin’ with us for a few days, been runnin’ some jobs for a stall holder in the market, so we’ve given him one of the spare tents to sleep in.”
“We have to get back to Haafingar, right now.”
***
They entered the camp late that afternoon and as Ric saw to the horse, Beth walked quickly into the main camp. She stopped dead when she saw the young boy sat by the fire. She’d seen him in camp before, sharpening some of the lad’s weapons or just having dinner with them. He would ask her questions about smithing, and he would tell her about how he planned to run his own forge one day. He was sat eating a bowl of soup hungrily, mopping up the last of it with some bread.
Tears were streaming down Beth’s cheeks before she could even get close enough to him for him to notice. Her son. Her beautiful little boy. All grown up, healthy and safe. Ric stood beside her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.
“How do you want to do this?” he asked her.
She let out a shaking breath, “I can’t Ric… I… I don’t know what to say to him… I…” more tears slid down her cheeks, but Ric wiped them away.
“I’ll talk to him,” Ric told her, “You just dry those beautiful eyes of yours. You’re goin’ to meet our little boy.”
She smiled, “Our little boy… I could get used to the sound of that.”
He kissed her, “I’ll go and talk to him. Come and say hello when you’re ready.”
Ric walked slowly towards the fire. He was about to meet his son for the first time. Except… it wasn’t the first time. He’d met him before, he’d talked to him, never knowing, never having the slightest clue, that this young boy was his son. He had always imagined that when he did have a son, that he would want him to be like Danby.
He took a seat on the log beside him, and the boy smiled up at him.
“I didn’t know you were home, mister Ric,” Danby said, setting his bowl down, “Mister Olf said you were goin’ to be gone all day.”
“I just got back,” Ric told him, “Had some business in Riften… Didn’t you tell me you were from there?”
He nodded, “Aye. I lived in the orphanage there.”
“Did you not live anywhere before that?” Ric asked.
“No. I grew up there.”
“So you don’t know who your parents are?”
He shook his head, “Grelod always told me that they were dead, but I didn’t believe her… But if they weren’t dead, I don’t know why I was in the orphanage…”
“Maybe,” Ric said, moving to kneel in front of the boy so that they were eye to eye, “Maybe your Dad was a warrior, and maybe he had to go off to fight. Maybe your Ma got in trouble for havin’ you because no one approved of the warrior. Maybe she didn’t have any choice but to give you up.”
“You think that’s true?” he looked at him with hopeful eyes, and for the first time, Ric saw the colour of Beth’s eyes in the boy’s.
“I know it’s true,” Ric said, “Do… do you ever think that you could have met your parents and you didn’t know it? If you grew up in the orphanage, you wouldn’t remember what they looked like.”
“I s’pose I might have,” Dan said, a frown on his young face, “Do you think I have?”
Ric looked at him, “You may have met them lots of times. You may have done some jobs for them… talked to them… Maybe you even stayed in their camp.”
Danby’s eyes went wide, his mouth falling open a little, “Are you…. Are you sayin’ that….?”
Ric swallowed nervously, “It’s me, Danby… I’m your father.”
Danby was silent for a long time, just staring at Ric. Suddenly, the boy’s arms moved and he flung his arms around Ric, hugging him. Without thinking about it, Ric hugged him back, holding on tight to him. Danby’s face was buried in his shirt, and Ric didn’t let him do for a long time.
When Danby finally removed his arms, Ric saw that the boy had been crying. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to Danby who wiped away his tears.
“Do you know where my mother is?” he asked, his voice sniffly.
Ric looked around at Beth, “She’s right over there, kiddo.”
Beth saw that she was being looked at, and she nervously walked over. Danby got to his feet and ran to her, hugging her as well. Lilibeth knelt on the ground and wrapped her arms completely around him, cradling him close to her, shushing him softly as he cried, unable to control her own tears.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry… Oh my little boy.”
“Did… Did you not want me?” Danby’s voice was muffled against her tunic, but she heard him.
She took his face in her hands and looked at him, “I promise you, I wanted you more than anythin’. I loved you more than I ever could have imagined. But you were taken from me. I never thought I would see you again… But we found you…. Your dad and I.”
“What’s goin’ to happen now?” he asked her.
“If you’d like… we’re goin’ to take care of you,” Beth told him, “I know it will take some gettin’ used to, but I want us to be a family. We both do.”
Ric crouched down beside Beth and Dan, “We’re your Ma and Dad, and we want to act like it from now on… I’ll find somewhere for us all to live, and we’ll look after you. Like a real family.”
Danby nodded eagerly, a wide grin on his face. A family was all he had ever wanted. He had the two parents he only could have dreamed of; a soldier and a smith, and he knew that he would be safe with them.
“We’ll have to stay in camp for a while until I sort things out,” Ric pointed out, “But after that, we can live in a real house, and things can be normal.”
“Can we get a dog?” Danby asked.
“You can have anythin’ you want,” Beth grinned, “You’re our son, and we’ll do everythin’ to make you the happiest little boy on Nirn… You can even come and work on the forge with me if you’d like.”
“Really?” Danby’s eyes lit up with excitement, “Can we go now?”
Beth laughed, “Of course, c’mon.”
Ric got to his feet and watched as Beth and Danby ran off towards the road together. He had never seen her look so happy. This was what it was. This was the final side of her that he had been waiting thirteen years to see; her finally being able to be a mother.
***
“Lili, are you sure you want to do this?” Ric looked at her.
“Ric, I have never been surer of anythin’ in my life,” she smiled.
He glanced back to parchment and signed his name. She took the quill from him and signed it as well.
“Then I guess she’s all yours,” Grelod said in a stiff voice, snatching back the contract they’d both signed. The little blonde girl, whose name they now knew to be Fionne, that had helped them in the orphanage beamed up at Ric and Lilibeth.
“So I’m really comin’ home with you?” she asked.
“We have a temporary home for the moment, but it’s wonderful there, you’re goin’ to love it. And soon enough, we’ll get a house that we can live in. All of us,” Ric told her.
Fionne hugged Danby who was stood beside Beth, “We’re a family now,” he smiled at her, “I’ll race you to the market, Ma promised we could buy some sweetrolls.”
She giggled, and the pair ran out the door. Beth looked to Ric, “That’s the first time he’s called me Ma without thinkin’ about it… I think he’s goin’ to be a brilliant big brother to her.”
“Are you okay with havin’ an adopted child? I know how much you missed seein’ the first years of Dan’s life,” Ric said to her.
She nodded, “Just because we’ve adopted Fi, doesn’t mean that she has to be our last. And she is perfect, Ric. She’s sweet, and polite, and I fell in love with her even after that short meetin’ at the orphanage… And I couldn’t leave her in there. We can give her a better life than that.”
“We can be a real family now,” he smiled warmly, putting his hands on her waist and kissing her gently.
“I love you.”
His heart skipped over a beat and he stared at her. That was it. The first time she’d said it. After all these years.
“I love you too, Lili.”