I have been reading a book, Screamfree Parenting, it is a guide to healthy parenting. It says to focus on yourself not your children. You are not responsible FOR your children you are responsible TO your children. When I first read them, I was like, ‘No this cannot be true. I have to be responsible for my children. I have to focus on my children.’ I started reading this book because my daughter, Ellie, decided to start acting like a teenager and acting out. I do not blame her one bit though. Her father and I are separated and married to two different people. (I’ll talk about THAT some other time.) Her father and his WIFE tries to make her sound picture perfect, that she doesn’t act up with them. WRONG WRONG WRONG! My daughter tells me the bad things she has done at his house. My daughter is NOT PERFECT. I don’t want her to be perfect, I want her to have a healthy upbringing. Nothing like what I grew up with, it was so horrifying I wonder how all of us survived to be honest. Her father and I are good parents, hence why neither of us have primary custody, we both have 50/50 custody of her. (He has tried to take her away from me and get primary custody of her. Insert eye roll here.) I know behind everything he does it is his wife that is pulling the strings, whispering in his ear, making him think I am a bad parent. Which I would never be. I have been patient with my daughter, trying new ways to show her that she is in trouble. Putting her in time out, making her sit on the couch, bringing her to her room, even taking her toys away. Taking her toys away DID NOT affect her one bit. She even HELPED me put her toys in garbage bags. (They were going to be in there until she was good again.) Then a few days later… SHE TOLD ME TO THROW HER TOYS OUT! I was like, you have to be kidding me child! I was so flabbergasted. What child says that!? Every day I did not throw her toys away, she would tell me, ‘Throw my toys out mama, I don’t want them.’ Let me tell you, I was NOT prepared for that! I looked over at my husband, he didn’t know what to do either. We did end up throwing them out, she wanted nothing to do with them.
Christmas is coming, yay! But it hasn’t been a good week for the Murey family. Nope. Little Miss Ellie decides to act up, her brother decides to get violent, we are at a loss. Ellie won’t go to bed, she won’t listen, she won’t take a nap, she keeps screaming at us, running, stomping, and just being a terror! My son, Curtis, is pulling Ellie’s hair, throwing toys at her, hitting her, screaming, hitting us, pulling at the tree, and even tried to throw a toy at our 4 month old, Leonardo. Curtis even pulls his clothes off and takes his diaper off! Let me tell you, those days were not good. We have to give him MULTIPLE BATHS. Then we were able to afford to get duck tape. We got the regular ones, THEY DID NOT WORK AT ALL. He would tear them off because they are not made for things like that. So we got GORILLA GLUE duck tape. We tape it around his waist, of course on his clothes not on his skin. That would hurt anyone! And it worked! If we connected the duck tape in the back. We tried hip to hip and he was able to tear it off. So as long as we put the beginning and end of the tape on his lower back on his clothes. We thought we were in the clear using the duck tape when he was taking a nap or when he was going to bed. WE WERE WRONG! He still sits in a high chair for now, but he takes his diaper off in there too! (Insert face palm here!) He even takes it off his diaper while he’s playing! Most of the time the diapers are not even wet they are dry! We have tried the 360 diapers too. BAD IDEA! He is smart, he figured out how to get them off within a day! He makes us want to tear our hair out, he gives us a run for our money. Well mostly me since My husband works and I am a stay at home mom, aka a homemaker. I know you probably think, oh she’s just lazy to get a job. WRONG! I had a job, we were spending $500 in gas A MONTH to bring me to work and him bringing himself to work. I did not drive, I do not have my license, I am working on it. We were spending more money than I was bringing in, he was the one that was making more than spending. So we agreed that I would leave my job, so I did. So I am a full time homemaker with my kids. IT IS NOT EASY. Whether you have a job then come home and have to take care of your kids or if you are a stay at home mom and take care of the kids all day long, neither is easy. I have done both and neither is easier than the other.
This has been coffee talk with MamaMurey. Tune in for more.
