#seabornsystem

[rexxsploded]

giant ass piece for my school arts magazine!

i took a lot of inspiration from a lot of sources, for one the marina & the diamonds song Oh No! which holds a very personal connection for me. 

another inspiration for this, and just in general was @seabornsystem ! their art has been something i hold pretty dear and i am always in awe of their work and im very happy and excited to be showing them this <3

my mac has such bad color quality rip

[lesbitchka]

I went to the gay+lesbian night at this bar for the second time tonight and I didn't think I'd be the Useless Lesbian type but I couldn't even say hi to this other group of butches that was there. like damnit I just want to make friends and YET

aw next time!

[spacialdecay]

this is my callout for @seabornsystem

[glassdemons]

if yr still accepting faces hmu with that A3 widow but if not then HMM! don't worry

this is a personal favourite thank you 

[shock]

jj what did it feel like with the schizophrenia onset vs the system

the thing with schizophrenia and DID (dissociative identity disorder) is that psychotic disorders and DID (even other dissociative disorders) are commonly comorbid and a lot of things that happen in those disorders overlap. 

disclaimer: for anyone reading this, my only stake in this is that i have them and can explain what it’s like for me to live with them, not that i can diagnose you! 

- my first psychiatrist said that usually one notable difference is auditory hallucinations with schizophrenia are external, while with DID they’re internal. i’m someone who experiences both - the voices of my alters, as well as nameless voices that are NOT alters. 

- people with schizophrenia more commonly have visual hallucinations, while DID ‘hallucinations’ are closer to what you’d think of as flashbacks, being trapped in memories, essentially PTSD. i experience both - so, i know from talking to some of my alters that we all visually hallucinate, but the range of those hallucinations is very wide. i see people who talk to me who are NOT my alters. but i also see my alters inside of my head. i’ve seen visions of my alters just a few times, but they’re not actually them.

- every alter has a different perception of reality, but having schizophrenia makes that even harder. most of the people with DID without psychosis, in my experience, can interact with the world as a real and concrete thing and do well with ‘reality testing’ when tested as one singular rather than a whole (ie, the host might have an excellent grasp on reality and the world). however, in my case, none of us scan well on reality testing. myself included. i am almost constantly on edge because of it. 

- every alter i’ve spoken to has delusions. this really depends on the kind of person my alters are, as my delusions are usually (but not always) very different from my other alters. we are all impacted by my paranoid schizophrenia in different ways. there is not one single alter who doesn’t experience it. it’s part of my brain chemistry.

- both psychotic and dissociative disorders have been shown to be linked to trauma and PTSD, so the idea of having both isn’t ridiculously farfetched. most people who have one have the other at some point in their lives, from what i’ve seen from all of my friends/groups/therapy.

in my case, the onset of them was mostly... i have had DID since i was only a few years old. i didn’t really recognize what it was until i had other friends who had already mostly come to terms with it who were waiting on me to understand myself.

(mine is... very obvious if you know what to look for, apparently. i was really surprised to hear that when i switch, my pupils dilate differently, my body heat changes, lots of other stuff). i started having serious behavioral issues unrelated specifically to DID - which is usually how schizophrenia first crops up in younger people.

i’d always had some strange issues because of my DID (which i didn’t really understand that i had until my mid-late teens) that i didn’t really know about except people would tell me heaps of stories i never remembered about all sorts of kinds of events, but i was having what can only be called psychotic breaks unrelated to said DID at 13, 14, 15, 16 - and they got worse with the abuse i was experiencing at those times. 

it’s very hard to differentiate, i’ve known a couple people with psychosis who have similar altered conscious states you’d see similarly in DID, personality breaks (except the biggest difference is these personality breaks usually don’t... create entire identities, or come back the exact same way twice. i’ve had some.) and the sort of incomplete amnesia that comes with fractured reality.  

and as far as i’ve seen (undocumented) with myself and other people, anti-psychotic medication often makes it harder to ‘switch’, which makes me think of other possible links that could exist between psychosis and DID. but that’s mostly all i can think of right now! 

[wengoku]

we can hate moira together i dont want that BitCh anywhere near gabe or amelie. or sombra. OR AKANDE. LEAVE. OUT

RIGHT like we had a perfect system of Evil Hotties Of Color and moira just came and ruined it. she’s so disappointing like having a talon healer who was former blackwatch should have been the highlight of this season but im jus -_-

[dare-i-say-asexual]

someone asks felix abt why he knows so much about history and he starts banging out a rant about how history is there for those who want to look and how history is important and points to all the things that sigilry and summoning have in common and how they work together (which is something he ends up diverting to every time just cause he loves it so much) and the asker is just kind of lost as felix goes off abt how every culture has different approaches to the subject as per writing systems

thats hashtag CANON ICHORSPRITE LORE, BABE

--

I WILL PROTECT FELIX WITH MY FUCKING LIFE

[glassdemons]

seabornsystem replied to your post: *rips off shirt*  IT’S BELPHEGOR’S BORTHDAY

I’ve only ever seen your art so an actual anime screencap gave me whiplash

to be fair i still made that edit myself