#seanhussey

[wwwjohnohare-blog]

Freshly picked organic Brussel sprouts from Hussey’s farm, my favourite! #brusselsprouts #seanhussey @husseysfarm #husseysfarm @hussey_sean (at Fitzwilliam Square) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGX9EU6n0Wc/?igshid=pgkk10k47z75

[thisdayinfavrd]

September 9, 2009

Swine flu won't really hit home with me until Magic Johnson gets it. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 116

Ma'am, it's unbecoming to wear pants so tight that we can see the pulse in your femoral artery. And your resting heart rate is too high. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 83

Oh, just buying a 35-pound tub of sand so an animal eaten in other countries will feel more comfortable taking a shit in my house. You? @seanhussey (Sean Hussey) – 70

I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that any family values candidate is humping something he shouldn't be. @CcSteff (Stephanie) – 65

Nobody puts baby in a corn dog! @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 64

Having a pool directly below your hotel room balcony is bad. If you have poor impulse control. Or an active imagination. It's bad for me. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 63

We are at a Yankees game. Eight rows behind home plate. And you know what my husband is doing? FUCKING BLOGGING ON HIS STUPID PHONE. @AmyJane (Amy Jane Gruber) – 61

I like to think my horrible personality makes up for my average looks. @CcSteff (Stephanie) – 59

It's a little-known fact that the unemployed have over 200 words for daytime TV. @secretsquirrel (Ryan Bateman) – 55

The iPod Obama gave the Queen is now an outdated piece of junk. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 55

When receiving communion, it's best to wait until you get back to your pew to add the Cheez Wiz. Trust me on this one. @LovableDoofus (Unavailable) – 53

In North Carolina. Not one waitress has called me "Sugar". Filing class-action suit. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 52

Some lady just cut me off and almost made me dump my bowl of cereal. I can't believe some people. @GPappalardo (Soap Box Liberal) – 49

HELP! It's a gang of newly indoctrinated 11 year old socialists at my library trying to learn stuff. OMG! One wants to be an engineer! @donchiefnerd (Don Henry) – 49

The woman who called asking for a pledge of $1,000 to my college didn't appeciate my question of whether she was out of her goddamn mind. @JephKelley (Jeff Kelley) – 48

I'm out of the ICU and in the Heart Center now. They took out my chest tube and I'm feeling better today. Hopefully I can go home this week. @LucyKateHopkins (Lucy Kate Hopkins) – 45

I really enjoy making people feel good about themselves. That's why I asked a few people with stuttering problems what today's date is. @OverlandParker (Michael Pierce) – 45

Profoundly funny tweet #3862581173 (?) @nonsequiturific (Unavailable) – 44

I can see some guy's feet in his stall, *facing* the toilet, and can hear him wiping. I'm just gonna yell 'FREAK!' and turn off the lights. @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 43

All this gloomy weather makes me want to speak in a British accent & use modest dental hygiene practices. @OverlandParker (Michael Pierce) – 41

[thisdayinfavrd]

May 1, 2009

Rest of the world: Happy Labor Day. Enjoy your 3-day weekend and your free healthcare. Americans: Happy May 1st. Get the fuck back to work. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 104

For the first time, my boy just told me that he loved me. No, there's nothing in my eye. I'm crying. @seanhussey (Sean Hussey) – 71

Baristas must think I'm a curt, brusque, inarticulate, poorly socialized person. Alas, they will never know me after I've had my coffee. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 71

My new book is "After the Colon: How to Work Ridiculously Long Descriptions of a Book's Content Into Its Subtitle for No Good Reason At All" @Tony_D (Tony Delgrosso) – 69

I have reached a level of exhaustion usually reserved for people who stand up and/or move around during the day. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 62

Mixing metaphors is more fun than a barrel of squeaky penises. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 57

Each person in Manhattan is starring in a slightly different film about everybody trying to screw them over. @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 56

I told this chick I was gonna rock her Casbah and she called Homeland Security!!! Just kidding I am terrified of women. @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 47

An 8 year old Saudi girl has been granted a divorce from her 50 year old husband due to irreconciable creepiness. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 47

You kiss your mama with that haircut? @lonelysandwich (Adam Lisagor) – 47

Look at me! I wear big boy pants! I have a computer! I sit in a cubicle! I talk too loud on the phone! I bang my mouse when I get mad! @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 46

It's never a good idea to eat and watch "Bones" at the same time. Especially if you're eating a charred human face. @gordonshumway (Jelisa Castrodale) – 46

Never take candy from strangers. Only sickos don't eat it all themselves. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 44

My Time Travel Dream: "Guys! I invented a new feature for electronic mail! I call it 'Reply All'!" [I step through time portal.] *punch* @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 43

I think I'd make a great Supreme Court justice. For starters, I've always liked the idea of wearing a robe to work. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 43

"Did you just make gross-face at me?" "No, that was sweet-guitar-solo-face." @CcSteff (Stephanie) – 41

My power animal is an unemployed alcoholic. @weselec (Shane Cyr) – 40

*ding* Ninth Level of Hell! Last stop! Traitors and people who sing 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' at karaoke! Everybody out! @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 40

Profoundly funny tweet #1667013370 (?) @luckyshirt (Unavailable) – 40

There are two ungrateful little shits here who would like everyone to know that if you ever buy Kix again, they prefer "the rainbow kind". @weselec (Shane Cyr) – 39

[thisdayinfavrd]

March 1, 2009

I thought the label said “omg caffeine,” but it actually said “0mg caffeine.” And now I have a headache. @CcSteff (Stephanie) – 111

I think I did the childproofing wrong in this house. Kids are still getting in here. @seanhussey (Sean Hussey) – 53

Had a great 5 AM run, then meditated by the ocean. Next, pancakes, a few solitary hours writing, and a nap. Oops, wait. Wrong life. Sorry. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 49

Dr. Seuss should have written a book called “Oh, The Places You’ll Settle For!” @joeschmidt (Joe Schmidt) – 48

I think it’s supremely unfair that some people wake up looking adorably disheveled when I wake up looking like Nick Nolte. @shoesonwrong (Annie) – 44

WAKE UP, EVERYONE. I CAN’T SLEEP ANY MORE. I WANT A GLASS OF WATER. READ ME A STORY. I’M BORED. ARE YOU AWAKE? [Poke poke poke.] @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 39

Here’s my daily dilemma: Before her coffee, my wife is totally useless. After her coffee, she realizes that I’m totally useless. @essdogg (Essex Mortimer Dogg) – 39

I read an article in a newspaper (nearly bankrupt) about the music industry (dying). Now I’m writing on Twitter (zero revenue). Ah, 2009. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 37

The best thing about being your own boss is you don’t get in trouble for constantly fondling the boss’ genitals. @sloganeerist (sloganєєrist) – 37

Ma’am, if you can tuck your breasts into your fanny pack, you may want to invest in a bra. Or wear your fanny pack much higher. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 35

Do you have a “clever” idea for DVD packaging? Please follow these 2 steps: 1) Make a fist 2) Punch yourself in the genitals until you die @tj (TJ Luoma) – 34

Average Rating (of childhood hugs received by iPhone app reviewers): ★½ @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 33

Sitting in the back yard, drinking green tea and staring at the newly planted vegetable garden. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta. @luckyshirt (Luckyshirt) – 33

When you order your Thai food extra spicy you are, in essence, giving someone permission to murder you from the inside out. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 33

I cannot be expected to accomplish anything when Viggo Mortensen is on my TV. Anything besides washing the screen with my tongue, I mean. @zolora (Theresa Couchman) – 32

When the ex said a friend had passed away, I said “My condolences” instead of “Since when do you have friends?” LOOK AT ME, GROWING UP. @gordonshumway (Jelisa Castrodale) – 32

It’s not a completely irrational fear that every time I leave Sweets in Missouri, some local will try to bread and fry her. @SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother) – 31

I’m starting a meme where we all reveal our social security numbers. You first. @aedison (Avery Edison) – 30

I bet if Octomom wears a skirt with no underwear it sounds an awful lot like someone blowing over a moonshine jug. @Aimee_B_Loved (Aimee B) – 30

i just woke up my wife and she took away my caps lock. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 29