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Just saw a gnome run past me, in my own goddamn lair!

I thought the advertisements were kidding when they spoke about a gnome infestations but I saw the little fella quickly scatter into a hole in the wall after it noticed me.

#wizard posting #wizardposting #second rate posts #i didn't even think my lair could sustain mortal life #this place is unsafe even for the unliving

Adventurers wonder how to enter my lair, they try and try again to solve the vexing puzzles that keeps the gates of my home locked. But truth be told, the doors rusted-shut months ago.

I have to enter through a broken hole in one the walls we keep hidden with some bushes.

#second rate posts #wizard posting #wizardposting #some gnomes also occasionally get inside through the hole too #we try to keep out with cheese loaded mousetrap and gluetraps but they just keep coming

As far containtment and storage of cursed artifacts go.

You would not think that keeping "Globotarr's Nevermore Soul" under stable control would easier to so than to the damm living toaster some college wizards created just so wouldn't have to pay a repair bill.

I have lost over thirteen undeads just trying to get the accursed thing back on it's cage.

#wizard posting #wizardposting #second rate posts #we haven't been able to lure it out of the furnace room #it's its territory now #we lure adventurers in there as an improvised trap #i make the undeads draw straws when the furnaces need refueling

This is my magic portal (hole in the floor), it transports me to the arcane rooms (floors below). The portal can only be used by since I'm the only one that can uses it's arcane properties (survive the fall). I will now be magically transported (fall).

Jumps down the hole, few seconds of silence, the sound of a skeleton violently hitting the ground and exploding into pieces

#second rate posts #comic relief villain #wizard posting #wizardposting #a moment of insanity #and a moment of stupidity

You would think that in a lair filled undeads that have some level of sentience, someone would have extinguish the fires already but no, everything is still burning in here and out there too now that I take look.

Really need to look for that cursedbread toasting thing before it burns the whole forest.

#second rate posts #comic relief villain #wizard posting #wizardposting #I can't get charged for another felony #i'm still on probation

Chugging down unlabeled potions has surprisingly done more good than harm to me, specially now that I am immune to poison. *Drinks from a vial* but not to acid it appears.

My insides...are melting.

#second rate posts #comic relief villain #wizard #undead may be immune to poison #acid...not so much #this is why you keep a pair of spare ribs

Adventurers broke through the main door in a quest to kill me only to find me on the very first room in my underwear trying to fix one of the magic ceiling lights.

#second rate posts #wizard posting #comic relief villain #they just awkwardly stared and turned around #this would be a huge hit on my good reputation if i had any

My undeads appear to be celebrating a party in my honor...on the first of April. I have fallen for many tricks but I will not fall for this on...again.

#second rate posts #comic relief villain #wizard posting #last year the tried the same #I went thinking they were expecting me to think it was prank and that there was an actual party #the party was not real

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#second rate posts